Get Real. Add Color.
The key to having fun is that you have to initiate it. In the wake of family gatherings that some people dread and others welcome, I offer the following: be yourself.
I generally avoid any sort of social circumstances that would force me to muzzle who I am. Although I am socially versatile enough to discriminate what to share where, if I can’t be real and engage in meaningful conversation, I’m bored.
For me, being a sex coach, I have an easy in. When people ask me what I do, I answer that “I’m a life and sex/relationship coach.” This is inevitably met by raised eyebrows and a series of questions. It also tends to be met by the other person sharing details about themselves they wouldn’t normally share with a stranger.
The point is, to get to the good stuff–the meaty, fleshy, raw, authentic stuff that is the essence of really good conversation–someone has to go first. Someone has to dive into being more authentic, more honest and take the conversation a level deeper.
Let it be you.
Whenever I go out, I make sure that I have a fantastic time because I’m more than willing to be the “fool.” I’m put myself out there–I dance like a maniac, I introduce myself to people I don’t know and I get deep, fast.
I play. I have fun.
I remember a friend sharing a story about his wizened 80-year-old grandmother at the Christmas dinner table who was talking about her experiences dating and the trials and tribulations of oral sex. The rest of the family nearly choked on their food and then began a lively discussion of said trials and tribulations. Way to go, grandma!
It doesn’t have to be sex talk (me and grandma just can’t help ourselves), but it has to be real. Go get ’em!!
