Kim Anami

The Importance of Being Oral

Oral sex is an excellent barometer for how much you truly adore your partner.

Do you want to taste and absorb every ounce of them?

Are you willing to let them deep, deep inside you? 

Are you in love with the very essence of them?

How much you enjoy oral sex will tell you that.

Your partner’s genitals are the essence of who they are. If you reject that, you are rejecting the core of your partner.

I’ve seen ridiculous products and advice that suggests if people don’t like the taste of their partner’s genitals, they smother them with cherry-cola-poufy-pouf creams and carcinogenic products. If someone offers that, kick them out of bed. DTMFA and move on with your life. You have no time for that shit.

You need to find an organic—in every sense of the word—solution instead.

Like these:

1) Bathe. Hygiene matters. Well, I sorta take that back. When I’m really into someone, I like it when they are sweaty and unwashed. And full of vigor. À la Napoleon. ??You’ve probably heard the famous story where Napoleon writes to his lover, Josephine from the battlefield:

“Am returning in three days. Don’t wash.”

If someone is healthy and eats well, following a clean and Crazy Sexy Lifestyle they are going to smell good. I promise.

I personally love it when my man is full of his own scent. It’s intoxicating.

2) I meant what I said about the barometer stuff. If you have an aversion to your lover’s genitals, I bet you have an aversion to them on other levels as well.

This could be situational: maybe there’s an issue that needs resolving. You need to talk orally before you can play orally.

Or, you truly aren’t a match.

In the ancient Taoist traditions, mates were paired according to their genitals. The genitals know.

Every man I have been totally smitten with, I’ve also been in love with his cock. And vice versa. I rely on my cock radar.

3) There’s an element of submissiveness to performing oral sex. Enjoy it. Let your partner’s genitals truly fuck you. Penetrate you.

“I want to fuck you,” she said. “It’s your face.”
“What about my face?”
“It’s magnificent. I want to destroy your face with my cunt.”
“It might be the other way around.”
“Don’t bet on it.?“
“You’re right. Cunts are indestructable.”

~ Charles Bukowski, Women, 1978.

If you haven’t already, explore this dynamic. As the recipient, be the fuckee, rather than the fucker. Really get into the action. Create an exchange.

4) More on receiving.

If you don’t think you enjoy oral sex, ask yourself this? How connected are you to your masculinity or femininity? Are you confident in it? Do you own it?

If you are dissociated from it—your feminine/masculine energy or your sexuality—you’ll be dissociated from your genitals. You need to reclaim that relationship and then you will feel more. Your genitals become living, sentient beings. With minds of their own.

Clear, trustworthy minds. Build that relationship with them. Love them. Massage them. Pay attention to them.

They are full of wisdom.
Image: Pierre dal Corso