Kim Anami

2 17

What to Do When You Feel Stuck

“What are you longing for?”

I long for art and poetic genius. I long for warm air that caresses me. I long for hands that are intelligent. I long for hot sun. I long for the silence underneath the ocean. I long for people with encyclopedia minds. I long for wit. I long for my own open heart when I can’t find it.

Without them I am lost.

“Dance, dance otherwise we are lost.”

~ Pina Bausch

When you feel stuck, you probably don’t have enough of the things you long for.

The things that stir and excite you and make you feel alive.

When you bring them back into your life, you’ll shake the stagnation. Things will begin to move again.

I saw Wim Wenders’ latest film last night: a tribute to the late German choreographer, Pina Bausch. In 3D. It was exquisite. She was a deep, soulful woman who used the body to reflect our innermost feelings and experiences as humans. The catharsis of movement.

Between beautiful footage of her work, there were interviews with her dancers. They’d recall poignant things she said to them. Like:

“What are you longing for?”

Let that move you. And when you find those things, one of which for her, was dance, throw yourself into them. They will save you.

I know this.

When I am lost, and I reconnect with the things I long for, I find myself again. I find the flow of the universe.

One of these things for me is writing. It can lead me out of my dark places and back into my own rhythm and light. It can be hard at first though.

Last week I was bristly and angst-y. I forced myself to sit and write. I hauled myself to a cafe and pumped myself full of matcha and listened to the same song on my iPod 50,000 times. I wrote through the initial resistance and pushed through to the other side.

It carried me to some of the best writing I may have ever created.

You can transform the dark. Just find the things you long for.

Other “Pinatas:”

“You just have to get crazier.”

Ah, I concur. I’m often more comfortable with crazy people. Because at least I know they are being real.

Life is absurd. It really is. Acknowledging this to ourselves and each other makes it both tolerable and amazing.

Or worse, not being crazy just makes you boring. We’re all a little skewed as humans. Admit it and it will set you free.

I like to go dancing and be crazed. I don’t drink or use drugs, but I’m always the craziest person on the dance floor.

This getting out of yourself brings you back to your recalibrated, essential self.

And lastly:

“Your fragility is also your strength.”

Admit that you are broken-hearted or sad or off-kilter. Or just antsy and angst-y and stuck. You’d be surprised how many people will be there to hug, hold, love and listen to you. But they can’t unless you tell them what’s going on.

Plus, there’s a paradox in acknowledging when you feel small. And soft. When you own exactly who and where you are, you become strong.

When you know your weaknesses your aren’t weak anymore.

When I’m vulnerable, I’m most powerful. It’s a hard thing to grasp, but it’s true. You are more defended without defences.

And see Pina in 3D. It will move you.

~ Kim
xx

Image: Pina – A film for Pina Bausch by Wim Wenders