When You’re Anal, Have More Anal – Transcript
If you’re anal, you need more anal.
We have all heard the expression “tight ass.” Like, “They’ve got a real stick up their ass.” This is legit urban slang meets deep psychological truth. When someone is tightly wound, hypersensitive and reactive, doesn’t go with the flow, and is an overall stress case, we often describe them this way.
Well, the solution is embedded within the problem. These people actually do need something shoved up their ass. In fact, we could look at it as a compliment when someone wants to shove our offer up our ass; they’re actually doing us a favor and finding the cure for what ails us. A good ass pounding or a gentle ass prodding might be enough to do the trick.
When people have a death grip so tight on their lives and are so afraid to let go into the abyss of losing control, when they feel like they are stuck in their head and can’t shut off their thoughts, the best medicine can be some ass play.
This applies to both men and women. Unlike the mouth or vagina, one which self-lubricates, and the other on which people will often slather the artificial lube, the ass is the ultimate truth teller. Thou shalt not pass the ass until or if you have properly opened and relaxed enough to allow entry.
Yes, a lot of lube is always a good thing for the ass, but no amount of lube is going to make up for an ass on lockdown. It is an opening that has to be slowly, incrementally seduced. You have to let go in so many different parts of yourself to allow anal penetration, and it’s in this very opening and letting go that your medicine lies.
Anal orgasms or anal-gasms are very similar to cervical orgasms in women. They are transcendent, deep, and cosmic. In men, the G-spot is the prostate gland, conveniently located in the ass. It acts as a turbo booster, deepening the pleasure and the physical and emotional intensity of orgasm.
In Anami Land, we look at how to use sex acts as consciousness-expanding vehicles. Yes, we’re all about more pleasurable sensations and ecstasy, but I am keenly aware and spend much of my days trying to show people how they can elevate their consciousness by having more and better sex.
Instead of various sex acts being simply boxes to tick and emulate from porn scenes, we find ways into them that reveal their deeper potential for spiritual awakening. That is what really turns me on. That is where sex becomes your biggest personal growth tool for orgasmic and anal enlightenment.
In today’s episode, we chat with Well-F**ked All Star Natalia from her native Poland. She talks about using anal stimulation as a meditative practice to open and relax her and how it helps fuel her creativity, confidence, and flow.
She was a woman who didn’t think the Anami guarantee, which is all orgasms for all women, would apply to her, and she was wrong.
***When You’re Anal, Have More Anal All Star Interview***
KIM: Welcome, Natalia! It’s lovely to have you.
NATALIA: Hello. Thank you for having me.
KIM: We have a number of topics we’d like to hear you share on. Let’s start with where you were, having the feeling of sex being more like an obligation and a duty that was required of you as a woman in a relationship, versus now being a salacious and voracious Well-F**ked Woman.
NATALIA: I was in a place of thinking that sex was not for me, sex was for a man, there was no pleasure for me there, I was more of a slave, and it was more of an obligation rather than anything I could take for myself. Yeah, your salon has changed that.
What’s most important is the butt plug story, where I was just having this pure disgust and even hatred sometimes when people were talking about it.
KIM: About anal sex, you mean?
NATALIA: Yeah, about anal sex and about anything that was supposed to go in my asshole. That was just not really making me feel comfortable, and I would rather just skip the topic, skip the conversation. I wasn’t even curious. I just wanted to go because I had some bad experiences in the past. It was just a nonexistent topic.
In the third week of your salon, I bought a butt plug, and of course, there has been a lot to talk with myself about it, a lot to think about.
KIM: What made you take the leap? If you were feeling an aversion toward anything anal and then, within three weeks, you said, “Okay, I’m going to get a butt plug,” what changed your mind and opened you up to the possibility? What was the argument that turned it for you?
NATALIA: I felt like if there were people who talked about it and enjoyed it, it meant that it was possible. Something was wrong with me and my attitude, and there was something I could discover, but I was pushing and pulling myself back from discovering it. Basically, it was understanding that there was not something wrong with everyone in the world liking it; it was rather the opposite. [Laughs] It was me having a problem with it. So yeah, that was the understanding of, “Okay, Natalia, there is something that you could actually just try and see.”
KIM: So you got a butt plug and then what happened?
NATALIA: And then I remember I was just discovering it like a little girl. I just jumped into it. My partner really wanted it, so I didn’t really have time to adjust to it and feel into it. The first thing I did after buying the butt plug—which was just coming from my pure desire of experimenting—was give myself time. First, I bought it, put it on the side of my bed, and looked at it. I talked to it. I made friends with it. I was touching it, putting it on the shelf like a sculpture, and just feeling into it.
Then at some point I played nice music and just breathed freely into myself to feel how I really felt and that it was not so scary, and everything was all right, and that I was calm. Just feeling that it was really pleasurable and that I didn’t know it could be so pleasurable, and yeah, it changed my entire attitude about it.
Now it sounds so simple, but it felt like such a huge step. I don’t even know how to put it into words because it sounds so simple right now.
KIM: And you were using the butt plug quite a bit, right? You were wearing it around and doing work with it. Tell us a bit about that because you weren’t just putting it in for a bit. You had some long periods of time.
NATALIA: Right after we finished with the salons, I was supposed to finish a project. I was doing a master project on the Fine Arts Academy. And part of the project was really technical. I was working in a carpentry workshop. I felt it was no longer in my interest to do such heavy work and to be surrounded by dust and the noise of machines.
So I came up with this idea of, “I felt so relaxed and light when I had a butt plug inside me, so why not just go into this carpentry workshop—which I would do everything to avoid—and just put a butt plug inside my ass? Maybe that would help.”
And it helped. [Laughs] I was enjoying working because I had this little secret of holding something inside my asshole that made me feel more joyful, more—I don’t know how to find the words for it. I felt I had more passion for myself. It was not about the surroundings. It was all about me in these surroundings. So I could withstand what I was no longer so passionate about because I was enjoying myself in it, and I was enjoying myself because of the butt plug.
There is a saying that people have a stick in their ass, right?
KIM: Yes.
NATALIA: And I felt like I had to put something inside my ass to get the stick out, and I felt like I no longer had a stick in my ass. Yeah. And the same thing happened during some conversations with people I knew. I had to go through this conversation, but I didn’t really want to be engaged anymore so much, so I made myself enjoy it more by putting a butt plug inside my ass.
I felt way more centered within myself while wearing the butt plug, having this hilarious experiment of talking to people.
I knew they would not understand why I was doing it, and I would not even tell them because I knew it wouldn’t have made any sense, but this contrast of the huge discomfort of talking about sex and being trapped in this reality of sex not being an open topic and religion and stuff and having a conversation with them and putting a butt plug in my ass was really comforting.
KIM: So it’s like a secret that you had, but it also had this effect of really opening and calming and relaxing you.
NATALIA: Yeah. That’s for sure. Yeah. The relaxing part is really interesting. Yeah. I’m still doing it from time to time. I really enjoy it. I started wondering how many people actually do that. Maybe more people do that and have thoughts about it. [Laughs]
KIM: [Laughs] Are you doing it now?
NATALIA: No, no. Not now. I thought about it before, but not now.
KIM: Yeah, yeah. So you definitely felt the difference when you were wearing it in these specific situations. Did you notice a cumulative effect of wearing it multiple times, so it made you feel different even when you weren’t wearing it?
NATALIA: Yes, sure. Even afterward, throughout the day, or if I was wearing it for a few hours—because of course I wasn’t wearing it for 12 hours, seven days a week; it was a few hours a day—remembering made me feel better. Even now, when I talk about it, I already feel more relaxed and in this joyful state. Yeah, for sure.
Overall, it made me feel more relaxed within myself, and yeah, having a choice also. It’s my body in the end. It made me feel I have more decision-making power and access to my body. This is another part of what the butt plug made me feel.
KIM: How did your relationship to cock transform as well? You went from feeling, it sounds like, a similar obligation, perhaps, around cock, to falling in love with it. How would you describe that shift?
NATALIA: Yeah. There was the feeling of, “Oh my god, I have to please him,” and it has shifted into, “Oh my god, I really want to give him another blow job!” and then again, “Oh, maybe a second one!” I love to touch him even when he’s not really properly woken up yet, and maybe he will wake up while having a blow job or a lingam massage.
So yeah, this is how it has shifted from not wanting to give a blow job out of obligation to proper glorifying and sexualizing and worshiping, and it has been beautiful.
I really understood then what you meant in one of your podcasts of saying that—or maybe it was during the salon when you said that—you had a relationship with your partner and with his cock. I didn’t really understand it so much at first. When I started feeling that I admired his cock, then it also changed.
Now, we are not together anymore, and I feel like I lost a relationship with two people, right? Not people—with his penis and with him. Because I really loved to pay attention to his penis. Yeah. I felt how connected it was and how opening it was, especially blow jobs.
KIM: Lingam massage was also a tool for you.
NATALIA: Yeah, definitely.
KIM: You said blow jobs and lingam massage.
NATALIA: Yeah. All the techniques that you showed in the salon, some twists, and some crazy maneuvers, yeah. It was working for him. He was amazed. He was basically not on Earth anymore. I was also really enjoying seeing that it pleased him so much, and I could enjoy it at the same time. This mutual pleasure came together, and me worshiping didn’t mean that I was someone lower and degraded, but I was as important as him because I was the one through whom this pleasure came to him. And my hands and my body gave him the pleasure, and I chose to give that to him.
Yeah. That was great. I miss it. [Laughs] Because we are not together anymore. [Laughs]
KIM: With your shift in attitude, was it the same thing? Going through the salon opened you up to the possibility that “This could be different from how I’ve experienced it in the past.” Is it going through that and being given the possibility? Or was there anything in particular that helped to open you to that?
NATALIA: The possibility, for sure. I didn’t know that there was that possibility. I didn’t grow up in an environment in which I knew that this possibility existed.
First, through the podcast that I was listening to, and afterward, during the salon and your stories and stories of other women, for sure, made me feel that there was something behind the curtain that I didn’t know about, and it was achievable.
KIM: Right, yeah. Then what did you notice happened to your partner as you were worshiping his cock more and more? Did the cock change? Did he change?
NATALIA: Yeah. There were some slight shifts in him being more in his power in a way—I felt that—and I could see that he was shining more in his own being. I could feel that he felt more empowered, for sure.
And it was an empowerment that I was respecting. It was a real empowerment. It was not [in a manly voice], “I’m so strong; I’m going to do some bullshit because I’m so strong.” No. It was really him, I think, feeling and being important because I was paying so much attention to his genitals. His genitals are a really fragile spot that he wants to protect, right? Yeah.
KIM: You also talked about your yoni having more communication with you these days.
NATALIA: Yeah. Nicely said. I felt that my yoni was communicating when I was feeling excited, and I was not really understanding. I will give an example. When there were some topics that I was not really happy about and I was having some rough conversations with my partner, at some point, I could feel that my pussy was getting wet. I said, “Ack! What the heck? Why? We are having an argument. Why am I getting wet?”
Then I understood that we had come to a conclusion. I finally understood him, and he understood me. Then, the argument was over because my pussy was already showing me that it was over. So my body was giving me information before my intellectual mind could grab it. That was also quite crazy.
And the same thing happened after an important project. After talking in front of many people about a project that was coming from my heart, it had never happened to me after any project before, so it was a really good indicator that my pussy was so, so, so wet.
Yeah. That was the moment that I started understanding that, okay, this is where I can get information from.
Oh! And talking about that now, I remember I wanted to tell you—there is a scene in one of my favorite movies in which the head of a big factory is communicating with his wife in such a way that he is checking the answer for the really important deals and really important questions of the business by putting a finger into her pussy and seeing if it is wet or not. If it’s wet, the answer is yes, and if it’s not, the answer is no! [Laughs]
When I first saw the movie, I didn’t really understand this scene so well because I was not really well-fucked.
But afterward, like now, I understand it so well! [Laughs]
KIM: That is hilarious! What movie is that?
NATALIA: It’s The Holy Mountain by Alejandro Jodorowsky. It’s a really good movie about abolishing walls about identities. It also touches on a lot of topics about sexuality and identity related to that.
KIM: That’s so Anami. We talk about this all the time; the pussy knows. You can get excited about a project and there’s no sexual touch happening, but your pussy will gush because you are feeling this arousal happening that’s creative and orgasmic at the same time.
I love that this is something that other people are experiencing and put in a movie. [Laughs]
NATALIA: Yes, yes. Yeah, that’s true. That’s a movie from 1973.
KIM: Wow!
NATALIA: From at least some time ago, yeah.
KIM: They don’t make them like they used to. Geez, wow.
NATALIA: Yeah.
KIM: That’s incredible.
How about your self-pleasuring journey? What happened with masturbation?
NATALIA: I went from not wanting to touch myself or only doing it once a month and not wanting to talk about it. It was like a part of my body that I could not go to. No way. There was a big sign of “Don’t go there.”
And I started wanting to touch myself randomly throughout the day or before going to bed or after waking up. And the sex dates with myself changed a lot. Yeah, giving myself time to explore my body, to give it pleasure and attention.
Right now, I am masturbating three times a week. After doing it only once for two months, it’s a lot.
KIM: Same question there, because some women have a real aversion to masturbating. Actually, I was on a call today and talking about how men really don’t have that aversion. If you say, “Go touch yourself,” they’ll run off and say, “Okay, sure, no problem.” But the woman, it’s not always the same permission or self-permission, or self-knowledge. Again, with this, were you hoping that “Okay, I believe it could be different in doing it,” or was there some catalyst? Some event that really changed it for you?
NATALIA: For sure. The first confrontation was with my partner in the process when he was saying, “Why don’t you touch yourself?” Or sometimes he was proposing starting foreplay by touching each other—him touching himself and me touching myself. That was really awkward for me. I felt really uncomfortable. I thought, “Oh no, I have to touch my body.”
So it was for sure my partners introducing me to this possibility of touching myself because they knew how to touch themselves. It’s so obvious. And for a woman, it’s not. For me, it was not.
They opened me up to the possibility, and then also during the salon, listening to your podcast, and understanding, “Okay, women do this. So I have to go there. Not really willingly, but I will go there, and we will see what happens.”
And at the beginning, it was far from pleasure, and it was far from what masturbation should look like. It should be fun; it should be nice. No, it was a lot of emotional release. It was a lot of crying, a lot of thoughts, a lot of talking. I was talking to myself out loud to actually track the problem. “Where am I at?”
I was making notes of what I was saying at some point while masturbating. It was more of a masturbation exercise at the beginning. I was really cold-hearted when it came to that. It was more of a practical thing. “All right, set an alarm for half an hour and wait for it to ring.” [Laughs]
Yeah, really. Even when I talk about it, it’s really sad that this is how I felt.
Then I was having so many thoughts and emotions coming up that were not pleasurable. And I know they are still there. I’m still on the journey. It’s not like it’s all gone. Yeah.
But now I’m doing it without the attitude of, “Okay, let’s do the exercise again. Let’s practice masturbation.” It’s more me doing it out of pleasure and knowing that there is a light somewhere. A light in the tunnel.
I’m not at the place I want to be, but I know where I’m heading, and this is the important part.
KIM: Right, yeah. And how about breast massage? What happened for you there?
NATALIA: Amazing! I love them! I feel so gentle with myself after these massages. I did them a lot during the salons, and afterward, I’ve been doing them two times a week. I feel like the breasts hold so much sensuality. This, combined with masturbation, and combined with when my partners are licking me and touching my breasts at the same time, is, I don’t know, like swimming in butter, you know [laughs]. I feel really soft with myself. It’s also energizing.
Again, I feel more centered with myself. It’s connecting me with my body again. Breasts are really powerful. Yeah.
KIM: Beautiful. Love hearing all that. I love that you made so many transitions from things that you felt closed to and you really, in a short period of time, opened up in so many ways, so powerfully.
NATALIA: Yeah. It has been such an intense journey, and it still is. It happened a year ago, and even less. I feel like when I’m talking about it, it’s not really in my system so well.
I’m even stressed about talking about it because for so many years, I’ve been living in another dimension, in another reality, and now I’m changing and shifting this reality. And so this new attitude feels really awkward. When I talk, it’s like, “Is it me talking? Okay, yes, it’s me talking.” This is my new truth. I want it to be my new truth. Even if it feels like it’s not coming from me, I know it’s coming from me. [Laughs] Yeah.
I also remember one really important story when it comes to tension in my vagina and some pain I used to have while having sex. I didn’t mention it before, but maybe you would like to hear about this.
KIM: Sure, yeah.
NATALIA: It happened a few times in my life that I had really strong pain in—I think it must have been my cervix or uterus; I’m not really sure. I didn’t pay attention to it. I said, “Okay, I’m going to take a pill.” It was years ago. “I take a pill, I fall asleep, and it’s going to be over.”
And while getting introduced to your work and to the knowledge from the salon, of course, I remembered my pain, and I decided to go there. You used to say that when there is pain, there is a block, there is some sickness, so go there.
And I used to do that with my dildo. While masturbating, I was massaging this pain like a body therapist who pushes their thumbs into a painful spot to release the pain.
I used to do that with the dildo and with my pain in the cervix. There has been a lot, a lot, a lot of crying, but I’m really honoring these moments where I found the courage to go there and to keep on massaging.
What was really beautiful was that when I shared this with my partner, at some point when we were having sex, we were communicating, and when I felt this pain, I asked him to go there. Then I was crying while having sex, and he was massaging. He was pushing with his penis into the painful spots, and I was crying and releasing, asking him not to stop, because it was good pain, and he was my therapist. Not directly. He was not my therapist, of course, but he was my release. His penis was going to release this pain, and I really wanted it.
It was beautiful that he was powerful enough to see that he had a really important role in pain clearing. And he was also helping me to get it out of there. I loved to see him not giving up on going there and pushing there with his dick. That was really … wow.
KIM: That’s beautiful that you went there together. That’s how it ought to be, that healing and alchemy. The tears that you describe are a form of orgasm. Being stimulated at the cervix like that and crying, I would say that’s in the realm of cervical orgasm for sure.
NATALIA: That’s how I felt the emotional release in general. It’s already such an opening, whatever it would be.
But also, I have a vision of how orgasms should look like. It’s not like I am in this society bullshit, blah, blah, blah. When I talk about crying, I don’t know if I could identify it as an orgasm. I am still in this place of a journey where I feel that is really releasing, and orgasm is supposed to be releasing, so then—
KIM: It is. And cervical orgasms in particular. In the moment, they might feel intense, cathartic, and deeply emotional. Then afterward, we feel that sense of lightness, euphoria, and pleasure that maybe in the moment is more intensity because we have things to clear. That’s the gift of these deeper orgasms; they help us to do that.
I’ve even talked about how, for years, my cervical orgasms involved crying and releasing things, and then eventually they transitioned into being more lighthearted, open, and ecstatic in the moment. My experience after was always feeling a deep sense of calm and relaxation and, like I said, a high, a euphoria. But now that happens more in the moment as well.
But I think that’s the product of years of clearing and releasing. When we’ve cleared enough, then that shift happens.
NATALIA: Yeah, everything you say makes sense. All the aftereffects of this crying release were as you described, so I agree on classifying it as an emotional orgasm.
KIM: Yeah. Was there anything else that you’d like to add to your story?
NATALIA: Yeah. I would like to add that nothing happens within the click of a moment, and it’s a lot of work to get there, especially for people who have a lot of trauma. I thought it happened only to people who had orgasms and enjoyed their bodies, loved sex, and were wet, but it was about creating the possibility for myself.
I think this is the most important radical responsibility for myself, knowing that it’s only me who can do that. And no matter how much emotional work and therapy or whatever it takes, this is the foundation to get there.
This is how it was for me, and I believe that it might be similar for others who are in my position. And if it’s not coming within one month, or if it’s not coming during the salon, or if it’s not coming even after one year, there’s way more inner work to do to make it happen. This is how I feel.
KIM: Yeah. Even, let’s say, within a year, there would still be breakthroughs and growth happening. It might not be your hit list of all the things you were hoping you would achieve within a month or two.
I do have another question. With all these things that shifted for you, so many different attitudes around so many different sex acts and parts of your own body and getting to know yourself better, what did you notice changed for you in your outer life? Because we’re always talking about how when we have these incredible experiences sexually, it changes who we are and how we show up in the world.
You have talked about these incidents where you’ve been wearing your butt plug and are able to handle situations very differently, with much more ease and grace and confidence. Is there an overall series of effects that you would say you’ve seen as a result of all these different changes happening in your sex life?
NATALIA: For sure, I feel that I have found more courage to take what I want and to make the way toward what I want.
I have understood that I was not really on the right path with my career, and I am changing now. That was also already changed after the salon, but the more access I have to my body, the deeper I go with sexual work, the more I’m actually changing the direction of my career, which is slowly shifting.
And I have heard from people saying that I’m getting more calm and confident with myself. That happened even when I was not really seeing it so well, because for me it was a new normal, but they could see that. Yeah.
I feel a bit shy talking about it because I feel like I want to be already somewhere else. But I know that these changes are happening slowly, but for sure, there has been more confidence within myself.
KIM: I love it. That’s great to hear. Well, thank you so much for sharing your breakthroughs and experiences with us, Natalia. Very inspiring, and some very funny, cute little stories in there as well.
NATALIA: Thank you for having me.
***
My legendary Well-F**ked Woman Salon opens at the end of June. In this 10-week online program, you will learn all the secrets of anal, cervical, breast, and throat enlightenment.
We also cover Self-Pleasuring 101, cock whispering, oral and manual pleasuring techniques for your man. Breast massage to tone, lift, and activate the orgasmic potential of the breasts. How to use the power of surrender and your feminine energy to manifest everything you want in your life so that it feels effortless and like it’s falling into your lap because your lap is what attracts it.
To check out the free preview video series and be notified of when we open registration for the salon, go to The Well-F**ked Woman here.
