Sex Dates Make Cash – Transcript
Sex dates make cash. If your sex dates aren’t making you rich, what are you even doing? If your orgasms aren’t changing your life, are you even having sex?
In Anami Land, your sex dates become sacred, set in stone, nonnegotiable parts of your life because you know the benefits they bring. They are your sanctuary, refueling station, antidepressant, anti-anxiety pill, creative inspiration, and cash generator all at once. There is no better all-in-one panacea.
Many people find my work because they’ve been given some prognosis or death sentence in the medical industry and they just don’t buy it. They think there has to be a better way. Surely the only answer is not to remove one’s organs or to be on drugs and hormones for the rest of your life. Intuitively, it just doesn’t sit right with them, and they’re right.
It isn’t the only answer, and frankly, it isn’t even an answer. It is a multilevel marketing scam. “Here, take out your uterus and you’ll need our synthetic hormones for the next 50 years.” No. Fuck off. [Laughs] No deal.
So people turn away from the allopathic world, or at the very least they have some fragment of hope there could possibly be a different solution. Then they find me. I’m here telling them menopause is a scam. Every woman is multi-orgasmic, has a ravenous libido, and can ejaculate across the room. Every man can last for hours at a time and orgasm without ejaculation. Periods and menopause can be blissful. Men can be having erections into their nineties and fucking up a storm. Birth was meant to be the biggest orgasm of your life. God wants you to have lots of sex.
And they’re half thinking, “What the fuck?” And the other half is saying, “Sign me the fuck up; take my money!”
I often say that menopausal women are the cash cows of allopathic medicine. All the options they are presented with are atrocious. Drugs and hormones for life, sacrificial organ removal. Vaginal electrocution. Cut off your labia to spite your vagina. It is insane.
But not in Anami Land. I would rather drive you insane with orgasmic pleasure. In Anami Land, women are learning to harness their sexual energy and leverage it into their lives, rather than having it invert on them.
If you’ve been listening to my podcasts for any length of time, you will know that a common truism around these parts is that sexual energy is creative energy. It’s the energy that creates new life. If we aren’t creating babies with it, then we can be using it to consciously heal and rejuvenate ourselves and our partners, and to manifest our goals and visions in life. Pro-creativity energy.
When we don’t use our sexual energy this way, it inverts back upon us and people suffer all manner of ailments, from difficult periods and menopause to PMS, cysts, growths, low libido, C-word things, erectile issues, and the list goes on.
When we do use our sexual energy as the tangible turbo fuel it was always meant to be, everyone benefits. That energy shows up as literal cash, abundance, and opportunities; it shows up as life-changing ecstatic orgasms. It shows up as creative inspiration and brilliance. It shows up as our marriages having the best sex ever, and then, “No, that was the best sex ever.” “No, wait, that was the best sex ever.” And you keep out-fucking yourselves every time.
Regular sex dates are a way of life in Anami Land. The typical prescription from Dr. Anami is a weekly three-hour sex date and a minimum of two shorter ones elsewhere during the week. To be clear, we define “shorter” as an hour. [Laughs] If you have sex every day, as many of our Anami Well-F**ked All Stars do, then even better.
Once you’ve realized that if you’re feeling tired or sad or overweight or broke, the best remedy is to orgasm your way out of it, you never go back because you see how your sexual energy impacts every part of your life because it is the energy of creating new life.
If you need to inject life and vim into any element of your existence, get to bed. The longer the sex date, the more of this vital energy you cultivate and have available to channel into your life, self, and projects.
Life-changing sex is not happening in a ten-minute pump, dump, and schlump session. It is happening in extended scenarios where you have time to fully open up to each other and to reach these deep places of surrender and connection where you tap into the flow of the universe. That is the true purpose of sex.
In today’s Well-F**ked All Star interview, we are speaking with Maureen. She shares about an epic sex date that led monumentally to increasing her family’s income, as well as defying the menopause stereotypes and programming and growing up in the Bible Belt and reconciling being a voraciously sexual woman with her spiritual path. And we talk about the power of your own healing extending into your family and your children.
***Sex Dates Make Cash All-Star Interview***
KIM: Hello, Maureen! I’m so excited for you to be here!
MAUREEN: Hello! Thank you. I’m excited to be here.
KIM: The moment I saw you, I could see the unmistakable glow of the Well-F**ked Woman.
MAUREEN: Yes! It works! [Laughs]
KIM: [Laughs] Okay, well, tell us exactly how it has been working for you.
MAUREEN: I’ve been on a healing reconstruction/deconstruction journey for eight years now. One of my friends who’s been on that journey with me is a homeopathic lady, and she had mentioned your work in 2023. I thought I was going through perimenopause, and I wanted to get her opinion. She said, “Well, I’ve been listening to this lady, Kim Anami.”
So I burned through all your stuff, and I said, “This is the best!” I decided I was going to sign up for Well-F**ked Woman. That was in the summer.
We go on an RV trip every year for four to six weeks when the girls are out of school, and we just go out west. This time we went up to Canada, and it was magical. I was doing your lessons in the back, sliding the door closed, and thinking, “I can’t wait for tonight. [Laughs] I’ve got to practice everything.”
KIM: Wait, so you were traveling in—did you say a van or a motorhome or what?
MAUREEN: RV. Yeah, a motorhome.
KIM: An RV, right. Okay. Got it.
MAUREEN: Yeah. The one with the bunk over the top of the bed.
KIM: Sure, yeah.
MAUREEN: So that blew my mind wide open. In week one, you said, “Let’s first talk about our blocks,” and I said, “Get to the good stuff, woman. I want to have an orgasm every time. I want to squirt across the room.”
KIM: Let me back up for one moment.
When you first got introduced to the work, you mentioned you were on the cusp of what people refer to as menopause. Was that one of the entry points for you, something connected to that? Because I, as you know, have a very different viewpoint about all things menopause and perimenopause and all that stuff that’s so much different than the mainstream.
MAUREEN: Yes. I didn’t want to do hormonal replacement therapy because I’d been on this healing whole journey. I said, “That’s not for me.”
I knew a different mindset and a different way to approach it. Those are the podcasts I started listening to. Then I listened to all the menopause ones, and I said, “What’s next?” And I went to your next one.
KIM: Got it. Okay. Great. That was restoring some inspiration for what might be possible outside of the norm. It sounds like you, like many people, had a sense that, “Okay, I don’t want to go this path. The idea that I’m meant to take hormones for the rest of my life sounds fucking ridiculous.”
MAUREEN: It is.
KIM: And what else is there? Except you don’t really know because it’s not widely talked about. The dominant narrative is: The only way to survive the next 50 years is for you to be medicated and maybe give up some organs along the way.
MAUREEN: Yes. And that a woman’s body is past her prime and there’s basically nothing else left for you to offer to the world. I have three girls, and I lost my mom when I was four, so I did not have a maternal figurehead. I had wonderful aunts who did their best, and I love them till the end, and a great single dad. But there was still this mother/dad, Mother Earth, Daughter Earth spiritual connection that I felt like, “I’m missing a piece of this.”
When you started talking about how your body and your spirit all start to be combined, and sex, it blew me up.
KIM: Yeah, amazing. You were getting into WFW, where I start talking about some of the inner work that needs to happen, and you were feeling a little impatient.
MAUREEN: Yeah.
KIM: “What about my G-spot?”
MAUREEN: Yes. I said, “Skip ahead, skip ahead.” I didn’t. I listened to it. But come to find out, you’ve got to do the block work. You’ve got to start finding all these blocks. So my husband would be driving, and I’d be listening to the podcast or watching the video like this [simulating holding a phone close to her body]. I was trying to watch it and write it down. I’d be speaking into my phone, “I think my block came from when I was 13,” trying to be super secretive, but it was changing my life.
After working with the blocks, you start to get to surrender and open. I said, “Oh, just get to the G-spot.” It changed my life, surrendering and opening. It’s something that I talked to all my friends about. “You guys, first of all, you’re not having great sex because you’re not surrendering to your husband or your person and God and yourself and the universe and your beautiful body.” They said, “That’s so juju.”
And then opening. I’d say, “Of course, it’s hard to have sex when you’re like this [holding hands clasped tightly together] all the time.” That started changing my life.
Then you finally got to the good stuff, but we couldn’t get to the good stuff without getting to the first stuff.
KIM: Right. That’s the funny part. If having, let’s say, a G-spot orgasm, was all about doing the two-finger come-hither motion, everybody would be having them, right? Because you can find that information in any random internet article or video, but most people still aren’t having them, so clearly, that’s not the only factor in the equation.
I often say that mechanics is about anywhere from 10%, maybe in some cases 20%, of what’s important, but everything else that you’ve already mentioned, like clearing your blockages, places where you’re stuck, learning how to really open up and surrender and get into a vulnerable state, are the keys to the queendom.
Then a two-finger technique is always handy—ha-ha—but that’s not the entryway. That’s only a single part of it.
MAUREEN: Yeah. It is. And this is why I was super interested in you, Kim—because it wasn’t just, “Well, here’s a great way that Cosmopolitan says to have sex.” You started digging deep into the thousand-year-old history of it and the why behind it and the cultures and practices that have been here long before us. And it blew my mind.
I started to feel like this was a part of womanhood that I had been missing, and that was one of my blocks. Your mom dies when you’re four, you feel a little bit like a ship in the dark sometimes when it relates to connecting with the female power and the ancient practices of womanhood and what you’re going to do for the next generation.
That really helped plug me in to a feeling that I’m part of this enormous ocean of women and I’ll give what I can to my girls, and then the wave recedes, and then I’m back into the history of the world. And while I’m here, I’m going to bring it all in. I’m going to teach you Tantric wisdom and what they used to say.
The conversations I had with my husband after starting to unpack all this—it was perfect. Fireside chat with wine and the girls in bed, and I said, “Babe, get this.” And his mind was blown. [Laughs]
KIM: [Laughs] The way you described it is that you had an intimate, good relationship for 21 years of your marriage. Then you found this work, and you had one of these epic sex dates that we talk about where I say, “If sex doesn’t change your life, then you’re doing it wrong.” Tell us about this sex date in particular.
MAUREEN: Well, to back up, on one of our RV road trip dates we had gone to wine night—I know you don’t like it, but we love the winery—and it was so fun. We came home, and I had been doing your work about surrendering and opening. Part of it, I realized, was me feeling like, “Do I still look pregnant if I go like this?” [Leaning back and sticking out stomach.] You know, bulging my belly out, and I was a little embarrassed by it. Not body-shaming myself.
That night, I told Tim, “Babe, look what I can do,” and I bulged my tummy out like I was pregnant, almost expecting him to say, “Ew, that’s gross.” He said, “Oh yeah, look at my belly,” and he bulged it out even more. That tiny little opening and surrendering was one of the best sex dates we had in our RV, hands down.
It’s so funny because that’s where it started, and it just felt like it kept climbing.
During the school year, I said, “I’m going to sign up for VKF,” and so I started doing a whole different work. VFK started connecting the manifesting part you talk about. All the visualizations—oh my gosh, they’re like my mantra. Going deep into the uterine healing, I really embraced that segment of the journey.
Of course, I always said, “Health and happiness for my kids and love,” and then I said, “Maybe the money thing.” My husband makes great money. We’re grateful for that and he works hard; we’ve had this business for 20 years, and we started when we were 22. When we were babies.
And so there just has never really been something I wanted to manifest, because I said, “You know, we have enough,” but that was such a scarcity mindset, and you said, “Girl, there’s enough to go around.” So we had this epic date and in my brain, I said, “This is it.” I did the manifesting money practice, the whole thing of it, and afterward, not only was it the best sex ever, but I ran to my computer and said, “I’ve got this idea.” I started to hammer out this idea, and then we went to bed after hours of being on this high.
The next day, my husband got a phone call from an adjuster for COVID. He said, “We could do this thing, this thing, and this thing, for $300,000.”
So the very next day, I said, “Oh my god, it works! The money manifesting sex thing!”
KIM: Well, what do you think was different about that sex date? Were there particular orgasms you were having? Did you find that you were just able to go deeper and surrender? What would you say was different that would lead you to think it works? You were obviously doing the visualizations and had much more awareness of the sexual energy being channeled into abundance and actual cash.
MAUREEN: Well, I had been doing the work for months and months and it just felt like a steady ramp up. Every sex date would just get better and better and better.
Every time we had an epic sex date, we’d be able to go longer. You’re always saying, “How long did you really have sex for? I don’t think you did that.” [Laughs] So it was very long.
And it wasn’t just a clitoral orgasm, one and done. It was do that one, then we’d go to the next one. Then we’d go from there and we’d go to pound town. And we’d pound it away until—
KIM: Pound town, cervical orgasm destination.
MAUREEN: [Laughs] And it’s literally the work that you teach; you keep on going, you do it, you unblock the blocks. That one, coupled with this purposeful, intentional spiritual practice was like fireworks.
KIM: I talk about surrender to the self and partner and to God and the universe, whatever people like to define that as. You’ve mentioned a few times that these experiences have helped bring you closer to God in the moment.
Tell us more about that, because I totally get that, and I speak about that all the time. But for some people, sex and God are two polar opposites that never meet unless in a very bad way.
MAUREEN: Yes.
KIM: What does it mean to you to have those things connected and even for them to amplify one another?
MAUREEN: Well, lots. So I said to you that the $300,000 deal didn’t transpire. I said, “Wow, that stinks. I thought it worked.” Come to find out, I had to have my husband say, “Get your income tax thing and tell me the numbers.” From 2023 is when we started that summer. From 2023 that summer, to 2024 this summer, he got a 45% increase in his income. All the other years that we’ve been doing this, 20 years, it’s been about a 15 to 20% increase. Literally from last summer to this summer, a 45% increase in pay.
And then, from this summer, we said, “Wonder what’s next, from this summer to next summer?” We sat there and calculated a 55% increase in pay. And so I said, “I guess I’ll take that over $300,000.” [Laughs] So thank you, God and the universe and Kim. We did it.
KIM: Okay. How does that relate to your trust and connection in God—whatever that is for you?
MAUREEN: I keep using the word blown, and it sexually, physically, emotionally, spiritually, everything, blows the top off.
I live in the South, in Georgia, am from the ’80s, and there was a purity culture in the South then. Religion and sex—
KIM: Purity means you can’t have vaginal sex, but anal sex is okay because that’s not really intercourse?
MAUREEN: Right. There was so much trauma—
KIM: And what were you going to say about sex and God? You made a little hand gesture there before I had to get in my point about anal.
MAUREEN: That sex and femininity and God were polar opposites. That’s what we grew up with. The purity culture. You can never have one with the other. It was so toxic. If you were born in the ’80s and you grew up in the South or in an Evangelical church, that is the message that you received over and over and over.
So God had nothing to do with sex. You were supposed to remain pure and not have sex until you get married. My husband and I did, within a centimeter of my vagina and his penis, but we said, “It wasn’t sex, right?” And so we made it. Got married real fast. We were the first of our friends who really wanted to have sex. Twenty-one—boop.
But nobody teaches you how to do it. I was supposed to go from super-pure, not talking about things like that, to wild orgasms in the bed. Our church group never told us how to have good sex. I didn’t have a mom. Most of the moms—100% of my friends—their sex talk was, “Read this book.” Or my friends came in and there was birth control on the bed.
To be able to turn it on did not work, and so for my first 13 years of marriage, I did not have an orgasm. I would get really close, and I would think, “No, I don’t think that was it.”
My friend said, “You should try a vibrator.” Now, I know you’re against vibrators. I don’t need a vibrator because I’ve got a great husband who’s got a big penis.
That was a good entry; however, it was still very just physical and the spiritual and emotional was separate. “Oh, I’ve got to be feeling him if we want to have sex.”
But the spiritual part definitely was not even a part of the equation until your work. It was almost like you gave permission for me and for other women to invite God into the equation, however you see God.
You started giving permission for that. I just opened a door and with the very act of surrendering my physical body and emotions to my husband and then to the spirit, and then to myself, I was down the rabbit hole with spirituality.
Opening up, giving permission for my husband to be masculine, for me to be feminine, and knowing that God said, “I don’t care about all that stuff.” It really opened the door to how spirituality is connected to sex. So thanks.
KIM: When you say God says, “I don’t care about all that stuff,” in the sense of not judging, you mean? Or what do you mean by that?
MAUREEN: Yes. Not judging.
KIM: Right. God’s not up there judging people for how short their skirts are or how many orgasms they’re having.
MAUREEN: No.
KIM: God’s got better things to do. Yeah.
MAUREEN: Right. He’s not up there saying, “BDSM, that’s a mortal sin; negative 10 points.” Especially when you get to this place where you realize, “I can hear God better now,” it’s like my third eye and everything else has opened spiritually.
KIM: I love that. “I can hear God better now.” Tell me more about that. Would you say that’s connected to this deeper level of surrender? You mentioned tapping into your feminine energy. How do you see that blossoming into, “I can hear God better now”? Because that, to me, is one of the ultimate goals of life.
MAUREEN: Yes.
KIM: How can I hear God better?
MAUREEN: Oh my gosh—well, it goes to clearing the pathways, doing your block work, surrendering to deeper things.
When you have trauma when you’re a kid, your safety and security are compromised. If you don’t do that healing work, that is the very first chakra. If you don’t get those all lined up from there, of course, it’s hard to see and hear God. Because by this time on the stage, it’s already off-kilter.
Doing that work, I felt a laser focus and a shifting spiritually, so that then I realized, “Oh my gosh, it’s clear now.”
KIM: Right. And you talked about how this all helped you to unblock 36 years’ worth of trauma and emotional stuff.
MAUREEN: Yeah.
KIM: I always talk about sexuality as being this catalyst and this alchemizer. If you’re doing this deeper work to excavate and release trauma, it’s like the grain of sand and the pearl. They metamorphosize into a pearl, a thing of beauty and wisdom. Was that your experience?
MAUREEN: Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. Of course, when I started your week one of Well-F**ked Woman, I thought, “Today I’m going to go from great sex to ‘I’m in another universe sex.’” And it didn’t happen like that for me, although I know it does for some women, but I saw that slow ramp up, where my hard work and our hard work led to greater and greater and greater sex, and now we’re saying, “That was the best sex.” And then the next week we’re saying, “No, that was the best sex.”
I do think it’s like that pearl analogy. Just this tiny little thing; over time, you’re doing the work, you’re doing the work, and it becomes this beautiful pearl.
KIM: Right. Yeah. What about your creativity? You mentioned what I often do; after a sex date, I go running to my laptop or to some paper and pen to write down these newly inspired ideas. What happened? You mentioned that there was an experience for you of something like that.
MAUREEN: Yes. I love that you just shared that because you grow up with all the things, and you never equate creativity to sex. It’s just a thing. I said, “I’ll be open for it.”
I love writing and so literally, we had that great sex, and I said, “That was amazing.” It was just like a light bulb, like all these things started connecting. My neurons were connecting.
I ran to my computer and, for hours, I hammered it out, and it was all making sense. It was literally like I had made a connection with semen in my brain.
KIM: I love that. I love that! Was there anything else you can think of that then seemed to be manifested out of these epic sex dates or your ever-evolving sexual connection that you could say, “Oh, this is a tangible result of our upleveling, our lovemaking”?
MAUREEN: Yeah. Well, to be very vulnerable, during your phone calls where you would interview other women and then when we’d all be put into the Zoom calls together, I had never heard so many women’s sexual stories. I said, “Oh my gosh, this is crazy; people have so many different journeys.”
Obviously, I knew that, but to start connecting, when you would say, “It sounds like sexual trauma happened.” And then you would do some deeper studies during the courses on “if you’ve had sexual trauma, this is a good thing for you, blah, blah, blah.”
And I started seeing some patterns that I thought, gosh, one of my daughters, I knew something happened to her when she was three. I knew in my brain the body is going to keep the score of that. It was just a molestation. Not just, that’s what it was.
So ramping up to that, I knew we’d have to circle back in a different way than we had been doing for these many years. Then as you started interviewing women and people would talk, the sexual trauma that was not healed manifested itself when the women were 40 or 50 or 60 or 20. And I thought, “I’m not going to let that happen to my girl.”
We started with some talk therapy to ramp up to her being okay and open to thinking maybe the things that were manifesting now as a teenager were a result of this thing and that’s okay. Let’s just do some healing on it. Whatever the result is after and continuing on, hey, we’re doing the best we can do around here, and it’s okay.
For me, as a mom, to hear stories of women who walked through that, and it didn’t ruin their life, and they can have meaningful, sexual relationships, gave me a lot of hope. So, thanks.
KIM: Yeah, that’s great. Lovely that you’re going to facilitate that healing and address it, because a lot of people, I think, even if it didn’t happen to them but it happened to someone in their family or their children, have this urge to check out and disassociate and try to bury it and throw it away.
MAUREEN: Yeah. Just realizing my daughter doesn’t really remember, but her body is keeping the score. Even masculinity and femininity, it was hard for her to embrace that feminine nature. Because in her brain, she equated it to being a victim.
KIM: Right.
MAUREEN: So we’ve got to do a lot of work to rewrite what femininity looks like, in a safe place. Yeah, it’s big work on all levels.
KIM: Yeah, yeah. Is there anything else that you want to share that happened to you in terms of realizations, breakthroughs, or changes in your sex life or your outer life?
MAUREEN: Well, that would be like scrolling like this [motioning scrolling fast on a screen] if I read it all to you. [Laughs] So many things. Just recently, I’ll tell you. [Laughs] I think I didn’t give myself enough credit as a wife, especially as I don’t work. You know what I mean? I take care of the kids, and I have a million side hustles, but it’s not like I’m bringing in all the big money.
We always joke—people will say—I don’t know if you’ve heard this—you just keep his balls empty and his belly full.
KIM: I’ve heard that expression, yeah.
MAUREEN: I’m great at that. Yeah. I’m so great at that. I’m a trophy wife at that. [Laughs] But I guess I just didn’t give myself a ton of credit for—then I’d miss the manifestation that comes through my husband to the world. You kept saying things like “We bring our spouses home to God. Women often bring their men home to God.” It made me think of histories of women and spiritual cultures, and you’ll see an archaeological tablet and it’s this naked woman; there is so much power in women’s sexuality, and it’s like a laser sometimes through your spouse.
So in thinking through that, I just started to think, “Yeah, yeah, girl, yeah, I’m part of this power shooting through my vagina through you.” Just the other week, my husband’s CFO said to him, “Tim, you are the hunter around here.” There are 15 employees. “Tim, you are the hunter around here. All the rest of us are farmers.” She said, “I need you to lead this thing.”
And I thought, what a masculine thing to recognize about my husband. “You’re the hunter. The rest of us can’t even match your hunter energy.”
And he grew 10 inches tall [pointing up with finger] and—boop [pointing to lap with finger]—that day. [Laughs]
KIM: That’s a very tangible benefit.
MAUREEN: [Laughs] Yeah.
KIM: Yeah. I’d be pretty happy with that benefit, absolutely.
MAUREEN: I know. I know.
KIM: Yes, well done.
MAUREEN: So many things.
KIM: What else? Tell me?
MAUREEN: Oh, surrender. Surrender is such a big one. Because, like I said, spirituality. Part of the spirituality lessons—yeah, I could say indoctrinated. That’s why me, myself, tons of people, are doing this deconstruction religion-wise, and then reconstruction.
Because you look back and think, “Oh my god, how could that happen?” And you can bleep this following sentence out if you want—Trump supporters. How are you not seeing how your filter of the world is so destructive? But I grew up in it. We grew up in it, a lot of us. And part of it is that the only person you surrender to is God, and he’s always in control. We always had this God, and control manifested in these leaders who said, “I’m in control. You don’t have any rights, or you can’t make a decision for yourself.” That’s what you equate God to. He’s in control, surrender to him.
I heard this quote just four days ago. It says, “To the extent we can live surrendered is the extent we can live untamed.”
Surrender, being an untamed woman out there, wild and free and creative and breaking through these barriers and all these things, is because you can surrender to all of it, not just God. That situation and yourself and your friends’ idea and your massage therapist, who says, “Just relax.” Well, surrender to that shit; you’re about to get a great massage.
So the extent we surrender is the extent we can live untamed. It’s a mind blower. Women, surrender to all of it. This message brought to you by a former Southern Baptist. [Laughs]
KIM: [Laughs] Wow. I love that expression, and I haven’t heard it quite expressed like that before, but I fully agree. That’s the whole theme that runs through the whole Well-F**ked Woman. This is how you surrender.
It’s such an almost amorphous concept, but because it’s so multilayered in all facets of our lives, it’s not an easy thing to do. And it’s contrary to a lot of how we’re taught to live in terms of taking control and getting things done, rather than defaulting to surrender, to open, and then letting some energy come through you. A larger force. Whether that is God or cock or a strong, masculine energy, that is something that we can then tap into, and it informs us and guides us and brings us into places that we couldn’t even imagine for ourselves.
But it all comes with the price of admission, which is surrender.
MAUREEN: Yeah. Even the concept of surrendering to this present moment. If you’re in sex and you can’t be in this present moment? Good luck having great sex.
KIM: Yeah, absolutely. Anything else you’d like to share?
MAUREEN: Okay. Here’s another one. Control. Control.
When you did the BDSM talk in Well-F**ked Woman, I said, “Oh my gosh, I didn’t think there was anything good about it.” I just saw it in the movies, the 50 Shades of Grey, and you just see this—
KIM: You didn’t know there was anything deeper and more spiritual about it.
MAUREEN: Yes.
KIM: Because the way it’s often portrayed is more superficial. It’s kinky, or it might be a bit of a turn-on, but there’s not really any depth or deeper meaning. Exactly.
MAUREEN: Yeah, right. To allow myself to just dive into that and think, “Well, why does that make you uncomfortable?” and work through the blocks and all this stuff really made me think, “I like to have control.” Who doesn’t? What woman, what mom, doesn’t like to have control?
So when you’re raising your babies, up until they’re 10, 11, 12, you have control. You drive them places. You tell them what to eat for lunch, or here’s how you make a sandwich or whatever. Then they’re teenagers. That does not work the same way. And even when I say I have control, it doesn’t mean I’m bossing them around, but there’s more, I don’t know, oversight. Then as they become teenagers, it’s like you are pushing them into the center of the pool. “You know how to swim; you got this.”
But as a mom, it feels like I’m losing control. Through the BDSM work that you presented, I realized, “That is the practice of giving up control.” And I swear to you, it’s easier for me to now give up my control and tell my teenagers, “Oh, you want to drive there and pick that person up and go do that and hang out there for hours? Okay. Here’s 20 bucks. You know what to do.” It makes it easier because you’ve already done the work of control.
Here’s a cool quote: It says, “Anytime you bring control into a relationship, you lose access to intimacy.”
The control of the, “You’ve got to do this, you’ve got to do that,” and it’s different when you say, “I’m in control of my car. I can drive it.” And then you say, “I’m in control of my wife or kids or my husband,” that feels so different.
So the practice of just letting go of that control, sex helps.
KIM: It’s one of the best workshops and places to flex that muscle, because it’s so powerful. This is why I liken sex to psychedelics. People are really big into these conscious, drug, plant medicine journeys these days. I say, “Well, yeah, but you can actually get that through your own body for free with your own energy.”
MAUREEN: Yeah!
KIM: Because the pathway and the energetics of that surrender and leaping into the abyss that you go through to attain the higher-dimension cervical orgasms for women—and men have their own version of that—that’s the doorway. That’s the doorway of perception into these altered states of consciousness and altered versions of yourself, where you’re then stripping away the little self and the parts of you that stand in the way of accessing this much deeper, stronger, wiser, divine part that has intuition, wisdom, and guidance, and propels you out into your life.
MAUREEN: It’s mindboggling. Even the healing part of yourself. I just continue to think of the connecting dendrites and neurons in my mind creatively and in your body, things that are broken or don’t quite work well; there’s such power and sex and purpose for intuition about your body.
KIM: Yeah. The magic healer. The magic bullet. Your own medicine.
MAUREEN: Yeah. Your own magic bullet. You are the magic bullet. [Laughs]
KIM: [Laughs] Right. Amazing. Is there anything else you can think of?
MAUREEN: Okay. Here’s a question I don’t quite understand yet. This may be off topic, but can you just go through what each chakra does sexually? How is it connected sexually?
KIM: Well, they consider the second chakra to be the chakra of sexuality, creativity, money. Then, my work is about lifting that energy up and channeling it in higher ways. Bringing it up to your heart, up to the spiritual centers.
I think for most people in our culture, the default is that energy remains in a lower state. A coarser base. For example, jerking off to porn versus having Anami-style, change-your-life gourmet sex that brings you closer to God.
No judgment; it’s just that one way is more base, jumping out of energy, stress relief, help you to fall asleep. The other one is how we actually expand our consciousness and become the best versions of ourselves, rather than feel embarrassed and ashamed and crumple up our fluids into a piece of toilet paper and throw them away.
Those are the differences of elevating that energy as high up as we can. The essence of my work is to combine that energy with the higher parts of ourselves, so we elevate the entire sexual experience. In these ancient cultures, in Tantra and Taoism, that’s what they use our sexual energy for, to be a springboard into higher states of consciousness and enlightenment. That’s what all these practices were about; they recognized that, yes, we could have a more base experience of sexuality and dump that energy out and use it in an ultra-lustful way.
Or we could take that energy to catapult ourselves into higher dimensions of consciousness. That’s what I’m fascinated by. That’s what I’m all about. Anyone can jerk off and bust off an orgasm and pass out. Who cares? But I’m more interested in great, how do I get to know myself better? How do I self-realize, and how does it even help me to connect to God?
MAUREEN: Yeah. It really makes me think there is something so spiritual and sexual and higher dimension that you can access.
KIM: Well, this is the great psyop around sexuality. We’re told in the dominant religions and the dominant narrative of the culture that sex and God are disconnected and actually, God doesn’t like sex very much, or God is opposed to sex. Maybe in certain conditions it’s okay. So people have such a confusion that if they do have a spiritual side that they’re aware of—I think we all have that— they’re more connected to their spiritual selves.
I think they know intuitively that they do connect naturally to this energy of surrender sexually and opening awareness to spirituality, like through higher consciousness; that’s a natural flow.
But then because there’s so much damnation and judgment and taboo around it, they shut that off, they block it off, but then they also can feel that somehow that’s not right. They almost know that there’s a deeper experience of sexuality to be had.
Then they find my work, or something similar to it, which actually makes these connections between sex and God, and sexuality is a really sacred act, if we designate it to be one. Then something in them wakes up and realizes, “Yeah, I knew that. I felt that intuitively all along. I just didn’t really have the language for it because no one has ever spoken about it that way. It’s been the opposite.”
I say it’s the most successful psyop there ever was, where we all have this powerful energy literally at our fingertips, and yet for all the damnation and judgment and taboo and restriction and misinformation and outright lies, it could be a million miles away for how much access people actually have to the energy flow in their own bodies. That’s the most successful psyop ever.
MAUREEN: Yeah. There’s a great many of us who are peeling that off.
KIM: Yeah. Amazing. Any closing words you’d like to share?
MAUREEN: Just that I’m so grateful from the bottom of my heart for the work that you have done, Kim, and I just bless everything you’ve put your hands to, that it would explode with health and prosperity and love and joy and that this work gets to every woman everywhere. It can change the world. So thank you for that.
KIM: My pleasure. Thank you.
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The Well-F**ked Woman Salon is coming soon. This was the program that changed everything for Maureen. In the meantime, check out my free 7-Day Bombshell Bootcamp. Increase your sexual magnetism, orgasm potential, and un-fuck-with-able factor.
If you want to become multi-orgasmic; have an off-the-charts libido; get rich; experience pleasurable periods, PMS, and menopause; have deeply intimate relationships; set your creativity on fire; lose weight and love your body; be wet all the time, even when menopausal; become a man magnet; own your beauty and confidence; and not give a fuck what anyone thinks of you because you can never be too much, then come and check out the Bombshell Bootcamp.
Go to KimAnami.com, look for Sexual Savant Salons, and then click on How to Be a Well-F**ked Woman to sign up.
