TRANSCRIPT: 5 Ways Men Cockblock Themselves
And what to do instead.
Cultivating cockfidence.
The clinical definition of “cockblocking” that you’ll find in the DSM is to “prevent copulation”.
It’s usually done by one person to another, but today, we’re talking about how men do it to themselves.
What are the things that minimize a man’s chances of having any sex, let alone life-changing, gourmet sex?
Here are the top 5 ways men self-cockblock in life and in bed, and how you can slay these demons, and how sexual mastery = life mastery
In today’s all star interview, we’ll be speaking with well-f**ked man Jim, to hear how he has un-cockblocked himself in all these areas:
- F**king his woman into oblivion: “G-Spot orgasms, cervical orgasms. It’s like open communication with God when she has them. There is an exorcism of demons and then bliss and joy. Her senses are on fire; her vagina is on fire…and then I f**k her harder.”
- Weight loss: “Since SMM, I have lost 45 pounds.”
- Stamina: “My stamina is off the Richter scale; I can go for an hour of penetration.”
And seizing control of his masculine power, his cock and his woman.
Before we get to Jim, let’s expand on all the ways you can cock-block yourself, and what to do instead.
Cockblock #1: Being afraid to inhabit your masculine energy
I am forever giving men permission to “man the fuck up” and really own their masculine selves: Their bodies, their cocks and their overall energy and how they show up in the world.
In this time when men are constantly being told how “toxic” masculinity is, and how beta bitches are being paraded around as though anyone wants to fuck them, it might seem like a big deal to own and love your cock, your sexual power, and truly enjoy the majesty and ferocity of being a man.
But we want you to.
Because the truth is, no woman wants to fuck a beta male.
Some women might be trying to “play if safe” and if they use enough lube or get drunk enough, they *might* be able to fuck a beta male.
But au naturel?
Not happening.
Women don’t fuck beta males. They hide with them.
So the work you do to truly explore and embrace what it is to BE a man and all that it entails, is not only going to self-actualize you, but self-actualize your woman’s vagina.
Because those things—vaginas—only respond to… men.
Check out my podcast episode on Alpha vs. Beta Males and my YouTube video called The Beta Male Variant.
Jim is going to talk a lot about his experience with claiming his masculine power and dominance in life and in bed, with his woman.
This part was huge for him.
Cockblock #2: Not knowing your way around a woman’s body (sex education)
The origin of the world—and the key to secret worlds: is your woman’s vagina.
It’s said in many spiritual paths that leads her man home to God.
This is her role.
And she does it through her vagina.
The ultimate portal between worlds.
And if she is masterful, she can open it at will and guide him through.
And if he is masterful, he can help her to open and access her own power.
Spending the time to learn and become proficient in all things pussy and female orgasm is worth it for you.
If you show up to your woman all fumbly—and this is actually okay, to start wherever you are—so long as you are willing to learn and improve.
But if you show up fumbly and forever remain a lifetime premature ejaculator:
“Ah! The Come Fairy made me do it. Again!!”
Then she’ll just stop fucking you.
And she’ll say she has a low libido and you’ll say she’s just one of those women who isn’t that interested in sex or “Of course we don’t have sex because we have young children” or whatever lie you want to tell yourself.
But ultimately. It’s because you are uninspired in bed and uninspired to learn.
And this isn’t about learning a roster of technical moves.
Although a few of those are good to have.
It’s about becoming so in tune with yourself and your cock, and her pussy, and developing the cock-fidence to go the distance emotionally and sexually with your woman.
Devote yourself. Study. Prioritize your sex and intimate life. Make it your goal to become a sexual masterful man.
This is what my salons are for: the ultimate sex education everyone ought to have had, but didn’t.
Cockblock #3: Stopping after giving her 1 orgasm/ or only giving her clitoral orgasms
This is an extension of becoming sexually skilled.
But it’s so important that it deserves its own category.
Only giving your woman clitoral orgasms is a surefire way to ensure your woman is perpetually underf**ked.
To the point where she may become uninterested in sex because really, there’s no point.
If a woman isn’t having vaginal orgasms, I can see why she isn’t that into having sex.
Meh. Can take it or leave it.
And she’ll probably leave it, if you are a two-pump chump, aka a five-minute fucker.
I’ve said it before and I’ll keep saying it:
An underfucked woman is the ultimate cockblock.
But because that crazy, psycho, underfunded bitch will make your life hell!
She will cockblock you every which way til Sunday.
Not only will she stop having sex with you—that’s just the start—she’ll sabotage your work, your relationships, your connection with your children, she’ll humiliate you all over the place.
And that’s all before breakfast.
So it’s truly in your best interest to fuck her often, and fuck her well.
One of the best ways you can do that is giving her cervical orgasms, G-Spot orgasms, squirting orgasms, anal orgasms.
And lots of them.
I talked about this in the episode a couple of weeks back called “She Comes First, Second, Third, Fourth and Fifth.
Women need vaginal orgasms. And they need a lot of them to be fulfilled.
Jim also shares on his experience of the difference between giving his woman a clitoral orgasm and thinking you “done good”, and giving her cervical orgasms and *actually* doing good.
You can see and feel the difference in your woman when she’s having cervical orgasms on a regular basis.
She will pay that forward in all parts of your life, becoming your secret weapon and super fuel.
She’ll be your best supporter and champion and her well-f**ked-ness and gushing pussy will lubricate every part of your life and career.
So commit to taking your woman to the ecstatic, life-changing land of vaginal orgasms.
I teach this in both my Sexual Mastery for Men and Coming Together for Couples salons.
Cockblock #4: Escapes. Indulgences. Addictions. Anything that stops you from taking ownership of your life
This includes TV, alcohol, overeating, drugs—especially weed—and porn.
Essentially, anywhere you know you indulge to distraction.
It consumes your vital drive and energy that you could be directing out into the world and into your woman.
Instead, you are ejaculating it into some toilet paper, or smoking yourself into oblivion (rather than fucking your woman into oblivion), or numbing yourself into passivity.
You wear all of these energies on your person and in your aura, and that is what a woman reads on you.
Whether it’s conscious or not.
It’s the energy of inversion, of hiding and not fully facing life.
Which is what being a man is all about.
Being a warrior who confronts and deals.
So hunt your demons and illuminate the places where you know you hide.
If you’d like to hear more of my thoughts on porn, check out my podcast episode called From Porn to Power.
And cockblock #5: If if doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you
Cock-fidence is about taking action.
You train yourself to stay in motion, to keep moving forward and evolving, by all the things you do that up-level your game.
You do this through constantly challenging yourself to be better.
This is important for anyone—man or woman—but I think it’s especially important for men.
This is the masculine principle in action.
Grow or die.
Every day, are you doing something that helps you to grow, to become even just a little bit better, that pushes you out of your comfort zone?
This could be physically with exercise.
It could relate to your career. Are you staying in a job you hate because you are too afraid to make a big leap?
Are you bailing on your sex life and your woman by not doing this sexual work with her to build your relationship?
Look at all the areas of your life and see how you can keep advancing to the next level.
The amazing and magical thing about sexuality, is that it becomes a catalyst for evolving all the other parts of your life.
Meaning, as you grow sexually masterful, you’ll find that the confidence and cockfidence you build in bed extends out to every other part of your life.
Through building sexual stamina, you build life stamina.
Through elevating your sex life, you elevate all the other parts of your life.
***
** WELL-F**KED ALL STAR JIM **
KIM: And here we are with Well-F**ked All Star Jimbo! How are you doing, Jim?
JIM: I am doing amazing.
KIM: So, you’ve been on quite the journey, as many of us have already seen, and we’d love to hear your perspective on un-cock-blocking yourself. You’ve done pretty much all the salons, correct?
JIM: Yes.
KIM: And you’ve been on a journey for a couple of years, would you say? The Anami journey.
JIM: The Anami journey has to be like a year and a half to two years, yeah.
KIM: What would you say have been some of the most significant things you’ve done to un-cock-block yourself as a man?
JIM: Oh man, you got some time?
KIM: We do have some time. Fire away! Or hold your load and disperse it slowly, whatever you like.
JIM: I think the pivotal thing was taking Sexual Mastery for Men. The Couples Salon was great, and it taught—
KIM: That’s where you started, right?
JIM: Yeah. We started with CT. Meg took WFW and then I took SMM. And those were great experiences. It changed our lives. But what really changed my life personally was when we got into the male stuff. I think the biggest thing there that changed my life was you teaching about how being a well-fucked man is somebody with purpose. I’d never had that in my life. One hundred percent.
I think that’s why in previous interviews, I called myself a purposeless bitch. That’s what I was before I met Kim Anami. I was like a ship without a rudder, just going in circles. Or kind of getting somewhere but then snapping back. Because there was never any purpose.
And the biggest thing that I un-cock-blocked in myself was finding that purpose. And then once I found that purpose, everything took off. Everything from that salon to all these different parts of my life—the purpose was huge. I think that was the number one thing.
KIM: Excellent. Let’s talk some specifics. First of all, the whole definition of masculinity, what did it mean to you and is there a new meaning for that now?
JIM: Yes. What it did mean—I think I was always confused about that, to tell you the truth. You’d have alpha people that you would see, or you’d see a rugged guy and think that was masculine. And then in high school, the football players were obviously more masculine and had testosterone and all that kind of stuff.
I never resonated with that stuff. I think because I didn’t know how to be masculine, I didn’t know how to get from A to Z anyway.
And after SMM and learning all those things that you teach, masculinity to me became a multipronged thing. I’ve got the Kim Anami prong, which is being there to catch your woman when she falls, fucking her into oblivion, doing what you say, saying what you mean, and all the things that come along with your teachings.
I think that is a huge component that’s missing from modern-day masculinity, or what you might see right now, this masculinity that’s emerging from all the woke garbage—that’s creating this push for masculinity. That’s all good, but I think it’s missing this component, the Kim Anami component, of being able to have control of your body, lasting longer, all those things that reverberate and create ripples in the rest of your life. And that’s huge.
KIM: You’re talking about how sexual control equals life control.
JIM: Yes.
KIM: Having sexual mastery translates into life mastery. Have you seen that happen in your life, in your relationship? Can you give an example of something, whether it’s stamina or something where you had less control and then you developed more control? And then what was the corresponding effect in your day-to-day life?
JIM: Yes. Before—and we’ve said this in an interview before—we’d be in bed and as long as Meg was satisfied first and she was there, then I could just stop worrying about it, stop thinking about Margaret Thatcher or baseball or something and just trying to hang onto that edge so I didn’t come first.
KIM: Let’s say until she had a clitoral orgasm? Would that be the bar at that stage?
JIM: No. The bar would be she would have one clitoral and then one orgasm when I was inside of her. But it was, can I last five minutes to be able to give her that? Which a lot of times, yes, but sometimes no.
And I found myself self-pleasuring—or I wouldn’t call it self-pleasuring; it was more masturbating because I thought it would help me last longer. If I would do it earlier in the day, then hey, I’d be able to last longer and be able to satisfy her. So I was cheating.
But now, my stamina is off the Richter scale, where it’s going for an hour of just penetration.
But what I found is that by developing that control and stamina, I have more consistency in my life with my projects. Working out, I am so much more consistent now every day, almost at the same time, and even when I don’t want to do it, I power through and last and go the distance.
Business-wise, and studying-wise, it was always hot/cold, hot/cold, start/stop, start/stop. Now, I am so consistent and am making so much progress toward my goals, and there’s a strong sense of confidence that I can do this now. I can last, I can go the distance, and I can finish.
That has been a huge eye-opener for me, that all these things in my life started to change for the better when I gained all this control.
KIM: Awesome. What about the notion of follow-through and commitment and taking action? One of my favorite phrases that really describes the essence of what women are looking for in men is that “the most attractive thing a man can do is exactly what he says he’s going to do”.
That sense of follow through and commitment and not, “Oh, it was too hard,” “Oh, the Come Fairy made me do it.” That’s pulling back from a challenge instead of saying, “No, I’ve got this. Not only am I going to fucking get this; I’m going to go further than that and nail this too, which is exciting.” It’s exciting.
That’s what, I think, really feeds the masculine and what turns on the feminine. The feminine says, “Yeah, that’s masculine energy in action. That is really attractive. That gets me wet.”
JIM: Yes. One hundred percent. Meg is all about that. She sees it and she’ll make comments all the time about the challenges that I’m overcoming, the transformation that I’ve had, and obviously, she’s making comments about my performance in the bedroom. So it’s all a turn-on to her. Every aspect of it. She sees me working, she sees me consistent, she sees me blowing through things that were stopping me before or making it so challenging that either I’d give up or quit or start something else.
KIM: Did you have any particular habits that we might classify as addictive, like weed, porn, overeating, that were a place where you were hiding?
JIM: Yes.
KIM: Because that’s how I look at these things, especially when they’re done in excess, and excess can just be in a way that’s hindering your growth in some way. Did you have anything like that? How did you change it, and then what were the effects of changing it?
JIM: There was something that you said—and I cannot remember whether it was in CT or SMM. I think it might have been in SMM. I’ll paraphrase, and please correct me, but it was something to the tune of every pound you are overweight is some locked-up trauma or hidden trauma. I’m butchering it, but I think that’s the gist of it, correct?
KIM: That’s the gist of it for sure.
JIM: I think my comfort was food and overeating. Because the porn stuff all stopped when we went through CT.
KIM: And you got the awareness of that, and it was easy enough for you to be able to say, “Okay, I’ll close that door.”
JIM: Absolutely. There was no addiction there. There was no, “Oh, I need this porn.” Because everything was so great in the bedroom and our relationship that it was just not needed. Just slam the door shut on that.
In college, yeah, we smoked weed and all that kind of stuff, but I’ve never been a heavy drinker or weed user or whatever, besides the occasional drink or every once in a while at a wedding or something, you know, getting a little buzzed.
I’ve lost the desire to drink. I don’t drink. I don’t want to drink. Leveling up, I have no desire for that. Again, that door—bam, slammed.
For me, what I figured out was food. Because I was morbidly obese if you look at the BMI stuff. I mean, it was horrible. I was pre-diabetic; I was sloppy and fat, and all these things. And understanding what my purpose is, and then figuring out my why to attach to that purpose, which is I don’t want to be on a swim trip in a hotel with my kid and have him wake up with a dead dad who had a heart attack or sleep apnea or something like that—that scared me.
I needed to find a way to stop the roller coaster of losing weight, gaining weight, losing weight. We had worked out so many of our problems in CT, but I still had my own. Another one of your recommendations was energy clearing. Tons and tons and tons of energy clearing, getting rid of trauma, until I was at the point where I said, man, there’s nothing really left.
Then when you have that purpose and you start taking little steps and reaching these little goals, and things like that, I was finally able to get over the addiction. Because I would just eat the wrong things and too much of them. I mean, it was not good. That’s completely changed.
I have lost, since SMM, 45 pounds.
I don’t have sleep apnea anymore. I’m healthy, in a calisthenics program, and it’s now becoming wired in me to do all this stuff, to be healthy. I have no desire to go and stuff my face anymore. Through this masculinity project, that door is being closed.
Every once in a while I’ll have something like chocolate or whatever. My birthday was last month; Meg made me a cake. I had it. I paid for it the next day because now I eat so clean, and I felt like I had a bit of a hangover.
But in the past, before SMM, before finding purpose, before finding my masculinity, that one piece of cake or that one day of not eating on my regimen would send me into a tailspin, and that’s when I would gain all my weight back, kind of going into that food addiction.
KIM: So there’s some correlation with self-destruction, right?
JIM: Yes.
KIM: Doing something that you know, on some level at least, is not good for you, and then the spiral that comes out of that. But when you’re being respectful and honoring and loving yourself, you make better choices and you’re cultivating this masculine strength and power and self-love.
JIM: Yeah. The self-destruction is the ultimate cockblock to yourself. And finding masculinity is the jab for un-cock-blocking yourself.
KIM: [Laughs]
JIM: [Laughs] And you know, it’s crazy because before finding that masculinity, finding that purpose, and finding control, there were these temptations of, “I can’t have that because I’m trying to eat well or I’m trying to work out. I can’t do this.” Now, I don’t want it.
There’s no desire because there’s been such a shift in the control that I’ve had over myself, stemming from the control in the bedroom.
KIM: That’s beautiful. The urge even isn’t there, which is what I love. It’s like getting past a certain threshold where you’ve done enough work that it’s not a willpower thing; you just have no desire to do these things that would denigrate you in some way. That would lessen you; that would hurt you. Self-destruction.
JIM: Instead of a self-destruction mechanism, I’m creating and cultivating the success mechanism that works on its own. This heat-seeking missile is now on its way for all the good things in my life and putting me closer to our ultimate goal, that ideal goal of the masculine man taking care of his family, protecting his family, all those things. It’s automatic. The self-image is now changing. Because my self-image was probably that big [holding up hand in okay sign] and now it’s growing and growing and growing. I’ve seen it said before that if this is a box of your true potential, most people’s self-image is that big. And the box is out here.
As you grow and grow and grow, you become more attuned to your true potential. And that is, again, what learning all this stuff in Sexual Mastery for Men is teaching me. It’s helping me to go on this journey to reform my self-image or recreate my self-image so it is positive, goal-seeking, and successful, ultimately leading me to my highest potential.
KIM: What other tools were pivotal for you on your journey into this place?
JIM: The self-pleasuring tool that you teach is fantastic. I almost get triggered now when I see people talking about masturbation. I think there was a guy, Jordan—what’s his name?
KIM: Peterson.
JIM: Peterson. And he said, “You should not masturbate; it’s bad, bad, bad.”
When you learn in Sexual Mastery how to self-pleasure to keep that energy within yourself, to cultivate that energy in yourself, it’s the antithesis of what everybody thinks masturbation or self-pleasuring is. That’s a huge tool.
Because number one, you teach yourself control, you teach yourself to last longer in the bedroom. When you have control, when you last longer in the bedroom, guess what? This little thing called confidence shows up. So that’s a wicked tool right there.
The other tool—
KIM: Let’s just pause to expand on that. So conscious self-pleasuring… Probably in that context Jordan Peterson is talking about unconscious masturbation. Jerking off to porn, jerking off to put yourself to sleep, jerking off as stress relief. What I would consider the lowest form of using sexual energy, which is not even using it; it’s ejecting it out.
It’s just diminishing it to exhaust yourself, to consider that depletion a type of relaxation, but really it isn’t. It’s just a diminishment of your overall energy and even your self-worth.
What you’re talking about—and what I teach—is conscious self-pleasuring, so we’re cultivating that energy and not ejecting it out of the body, but actually building it and using it as a power source, as a creative source, as a rejuvenating and healing source in our lives. A fuel source.
JIM: Yes. Almost like a warrior source. It’s amazing.
Again, moving from the bedroom to life and overcoming challenges—you have control and you have confidence; that’s what’s happening right here. It’s taking that and just busting through that wall.
KIM: How you show up in bed is how you show up in life.
JIM: Yes. One hundred percent. And it’s awesome.
KIM: And it’s such a beautiful, concentrated arena that people don’t really realize. Because when you have these shifts, you have to really earn them in bed. You can’t fake it, at least to get to the places that I’m talking about in my work; you have to really earn it and put in the time and the energy to get there. And then when you do, it’s like this full amplification that bursts out into all these parts of your life and empowers them. And then you’re not even trying.
You put in the effort in the bedroom, but then outside of the bedroom, all these things start happening effortlessly. There’s a flow and magnetism where things, opportunities, people come to you because you put in this harder work on the internal and sexual level in the pod of your bedroom and your bed, and then that just flows out into everything else.
JIM: Yeah, 100%. One thousand percent. That’s right on.
Another component or tool that I learned in SMM was taking action. We learned it in CT as well, but again, all of these things became more amplified in SMM.
Quick story about that. At my birthday last month, we were getting ready to go out for dinner and Meg said, “Pick out an outfit for me, whatever dress and shoes,” and yada, yada, yada. I picked something out and, of course, she didn’t like it. She didn’t want to wear it. She wasn’t feeling it. And we were becoming so late because she was dilly-dallying.
And finally I just walked into the closet and said, “You need to put this on. You need to wear this and get moving and meet us out in the car.” At first, she was a little disgruntled by it. But I noticed during dinner, her mood became happier and she was just looking at me more and all these things.
The next day, I made up my mind about something and said, “This is what I need you to do,” or just took control. It was Sunday night, and we were having a great conversation. Not quite clearing the glass but just talking about everything. And she stopped and said, “I just want to thank you and tell you how proud I am of you because when you take control like that, it is the sexiest thing in the world, and I am so turned on by it. Taking charge, I want you to do it even more and more often. It just makes me feel amazing and feminine and all these things.”
And so this week, she was having a really rough time at work, a lot going on, super stressed for whatever reason, and instead of just saying, “Hey, having a great day at work,” this is kind of a silly example, but I took charge. I got on my phone for Spotify, and I picked the dumbest, happiest song I could find. And I said, “Listen to this in the car at work, and I dare you to still be upset after listening to this stupid-ass song.”
And right away, when I played it on my phone, the smile came. It was like she needed me to disarm her, to break her out of that spell, the pressure and the stress that was going on. And that was all just me taking charge and seeing the opportunity and understanding what I needed to do. It doesn’t always have to be sexual. I don’t always have to tie her up in the bedroom to take charge.
It can be like the first example, or it could be as silly as the second example and just hopping around and dancing and getting her out of her mood and making her happy.
That was a huge tool, again, that was learned and really fortified in SMM, taking charge.
KIM: Right. How about the under-fucking of a woman or not giving her enough orgasms or clitoral orgasms versus vaginal orgasms? And then the payoff for you. Because I don’t think men realize that when women aren’t well-fucked, or they’re living on a subsistence diet of paltry, clitoral orgasms, their women are going to have a host of underlying resentments, anger, and frustrations that ultimately get directed at the man.
And he doesn’t make the connection that it’s because she’s not getting well-fucked. And so that in itself becomes a way that men cock-block themselves, because they aren’t fucking their woman well enough, and she’s making them pay for it. What’s been your experience with that?
JIM: Yes. One clit orgasm—what you’re going to find out, after you go through the Anami courses, is that you’re not being respected by your woman. Maybe that’s harsh, but I don’t know if there’s any other way to really say that because you’re not there for her. You think you’re doing awesome and you’re some hotshot and, “Hey, my woman, she had an orgasm,” because you hear stories of a lot of women that can’t even orgasm, period.
And you think you’re a stud or whatnot, but what’s really happening is you’re a chump and your woman is not satisfied and you’ve just absolutely cock-blocked yourself. Cock-blocked yourself to happiness. To a happy relationship.
I think that is the best way to put it. Because all the problems that we had, obviously some of it was with clearing the glass and whatnot, but so much of it was in the bedroom, we found out. Because the orgasms were cheap. The experience was cheap. It was junk food. It was cake and ice cream. Not the luxurious ribeye and lobster at a fancy restaurant that nurtures this beautiful relationship.
To un-cock-block yourself, you have to have the stamina; you have to go for hours. You have to be able to do that and fuck your woman into oblivion. That’s when she respects you.
That’s when she knows that you can hold space for her, that you can catch her when she falls. Because if you are just a one-clit-orgasm guy, how is she ever going to trust you? Because you can’t get her there. You can’t pound her continuously and give her that beautiful cervical orgasm that she so needs and desires. Even if she’s never had one or she doesn’t know what it is, she desires it. She doesn’t know what it is, but she wants it. You can’t help her get to that conversation with God, if you will. That beautiful, beautiful orgasm. It’s a huge cock-block.
Now, being able to give her the full menu of orgasms, that’s Un-cock-blocking 101, when you have to be able to open up that menu and give all types of orgasms and open her world up to what’s possible. Help her get there.
Obviously, as a woman, she needs to dive into that herself as well, but to be that person who’s taking charge and leading in the bedroom and invoking that surrender from her, you have to be able to give her those. And you have to be able to pound her for an hour, through moans, through squirming hips, through everything. You have to have that control. You have to have that sense of confidence.
And sometimes, I’ll be looking at her, just gritting my teeth and telling myself, “I’ve got this. I’m going to make you come.” And she’ll notice that after a session. “
Man, the look in your eye was just animalistic and savage.” But that’s the kind of mentality that I have to really invoke this next level of masculinity to get her to these orgasms all the time. Not just sometimes, but all the time.
KIM: Fantastic. You said that she might not know that she wants a cervical orgasm, but she does, but that would even include you understanding what a cervical orgasm is and why it’s so important to her. There’s really education for both people, and then being committed to saying, “Okay, we’re going to do this. We’re going to get there.”
JIM: Yes. That is huge. Again, something that I had no idea what it was before you. I did have a book—I thought it was a really good book—called She Comes First, but all it did was give you a road map of the clitoris. I was good at one thing. But it didn’t go into cervical orgasms or G-spot. Maybe a little bit, but it wasn’t until CT and SMM that I really learned about this beautiful world of cervical orgasms and G-spot orgasms and things like that.
KIM: Ooh, the vagina. Women have vaginas! Oh my God, who knew!
There’s a new level of respect that your woman has for you when you’re able to do this together to give these beautiful, beautiful orgasms.
KIM: And I would think this ties directly into the whole notion of why taking action is so sexy for a man, and for a woman to see that. To me, that’s the archetypal masculine in motion, moving toward a goal, accomplishing it, and doing it well. If we put that in the orgasm spectrum, the ultimate goal is cervical orgasms for women.
But if a guy or woman is stopping at level-two clitoral orgasms, they’re nowhere near their potential. And on some level, they both know that. Like you said, even if they don’t fully understand, she doesn’t understand, we all know there’s something more. There’s something deeper. There’s something better. Leaving you perpetually unfulfilled.
Why would you say it’s so important for a man to take action and follow through? Why is that so sexy for a woman to see?
JIM: Follow through? Because it lets her know that you can lead. That you can be this archetypal male, masculine, energetic being. All these different signals allow her to feel safe, to bring her guard down, to bring her walls down, to surrender, to nestle in and just cozy up to her femininity and that archetypal feminine energy. It’s a passport to putting her defenses down, and then just this whole respect and confidence in her man, which leads to that faucet effect in the panties.
She gets so turned on and wet when I take charge or when I’m in charge in the bedroom. When I’m in charge on top of her. All these types of things.
And for anybody who thinks that’s chauvinistic or toxic masculinity, that’s impossible because in the heat of the moment, when my wife’s forebrain is probably turned off and it’s coming from that subconscious, reptilian brain, she blurts out, “Tell me you own me.” It’s there. That’s the sexiest thing. My mouth drops. “Damn!” And again, it’s a level-up for the man.
Anybody who says that’s toxic is under-fucked or some Karen or it’s some pseudo-science, bullshit science, sociologist, or psychiatrist who puts some label on toxic masculinity. No. There’s masculinity and there are toxic men, but it has nothing to do with masculinity.
KIM: Yeah. It’s generally people trying to rationalize their terrible sex lives.
JIM: Yes! That’s a more eloquent way to say it.
KIM: [Laughs] Like what I would see over the years is, “Male scientist proves that the G-Spot doesn’t exist in women.” I would say, okay, that is the most under-fucked woman in the world. This guy is so fucking hellbent on showing that women can’t have orgasms. Who the fuck tries to make it their life’s mission to prove that women can’t have orgasms? What kind of twisted, under-fucked psychosis is that?
JIM: Yeah. It’s bullshit. Then you have, again, any woman that has not graduated from Anami-Land and who is insulated from the bullshit. How many women see that and say, “Oh yeah. There’s no such thing as a cervical orgasm”? Or “Oh yeah, that’s toxic. I would never want that. That is 1950s, blah, blah, blah.”
But here you have all these women who have been through Anami-Land and they’re saying, “Give it to me, Daddy. Put me into surrender, make me wet, let me give up control and trust you.” I guess if I had to put it in one word, it would be trust. Because when you trust somebody, then you can let your guard down and you can be open, free, relaxed, and not tense. And so those orgasms come so much more naturally and easily. Nothing hurts in there.
All these problems and challenges that women may have, it makes sense that it’s because it’s the one clit/one vag orgasm. They never have a chance to build up this beautiful trust with their man, to let go.
It’s like open communication with God when you have those types of orgasms. I’ve seen it in my wife.
This is another amazing thing that I’m able to do now that I was never able to do before. She’s having a cervical orgasm, just bawling, just whatever, and what does Kim say? When she’s crying, fuck her harder. And I’m able to do that. Before, I might have not had the confidence to go there and do it, but when she’s got tears rolling down and she’s wanting to curl up like a baby, I say, “Uh-uh. I’m fucking you harder and I’m taking control.” It’s just this exorcism of demons or this bliss and joy and she’s saying, “Stop, my body can’t take it anymore. My senses are on fire; my vagina is on fire … Just give me a minute,” when I’m fucking her harder. Yeah.
KIM: And do you give her a minute? Or what do you do?
JIM: Depends if I want to be a benevolent king that day. [Laughs]
KIM: [Laughs] And what happens?
JIM: I was going to say, sometimes I can just see that she’s physically spent and I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt. But other times, I can see she can handle it and I will fuck her harder and longer and just keep her going.
KIM: And what happens?
JIM: She just describes it as being on a surfboard, and it’s this wave of pleasure that is intense and never-ending and incredible. When we’re done, she is like butter in my arms and just so happy and so relaxed and walking on air; it’s the greatest thing in the world.
KIM: Fantastic. Any parting words of advice you would give to men?
JIM: Yes. Number one, sign up for SMM. Take it, but don’t go through the motions. Really take everything to heart. Listen, show up for the calls, and sit there. I’ve talked about being vulnerable a few times, and I don’t mean that as being just emotional. I’m talking about being vulnerable with yourself enough to know that “Hey, I’ve got these blocks” or these challenges. Be vulnerable enough that you can go into these calls and put yourself out there and learn. And learn from Kim and learn from your brothers that are in there, because what you’ll find is that everybody is kind of going through the same thing and wanting to learn the same thing. So sign up for SMM and then put your best foot forward.
And then, two, find your purpose in life. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say I think one aspect of purpose is going to be the same universally for all men and women. And that is part of your purpose needs to be understanding and becoming the most masculine men you can be, and then understanding femininity and becoming the most feminine woman you can be. That should be your baseline purpose, in my opinion.
And the reason I say that is because once I found that purpose of understanding that I chose to come down here as a man, in this meat suit or whatnot, and once I figured out and really understood that I need to be the best goddamn man and the most masculine man that I can be, all of a sudden, the purpose for everything else in my life became so much clearer. My goals, finally, instead of being like a shotgun blast of pellets on what I wanted to do for vocation and dharma, all that narrowed and became crystal clear. What I need to be the best family man that I can, the best husband, the best father, all those things.
But that all starts with understanding that your purpose here is to be the best damn man that you can be, the most masculine man. Once you understand and can get a grasp of that purpose, everything else just kind of falls in the line.
Take SMM, find your purpose, and then get in the gym, eat right, eat clean, eat healthy, what you’ve been taught and told about seed oils and carbohydrates and all this other crap that they show you in the food pyramid. Get back to basics, cut sugar out, and get into the gym. Do weights. The treadmill and all that kind of stuff is fine, but man, you need to really pump iron. You need to do body weight stuff because as you get stronger in the gym, you project that strength out. You project that strength inward too.
You become stronger mentally, emotionally, and you feel better about yourself. You see yourself in the mirror and now it’s easier to feel masculine instead of feeling out of shape and like a blob, etc.
The other thing I will say, too, after all of that, is to have a goal. You’ve got to have a goal. Every day you should have a goal, because when we don’t have goals, we end up being that rudderless ship, just going in a circle and a circle.
I’ve found that by having one goal every day, no matter how small, not a to-do list, but a goal, you accomplish that goal, all of a sudden, again, you’re gaining confidence. You gain courage to complete something, no matter how small it is. Then you start to have this consistency and then it snowballs and again, it becomes automatic.
I think it’s really important for men to have a goal every day and not to get through the week so you can go to the bar and shoot pool or watch football on Sunday. That’s a weak-ass goal. It should be something purposeful that’s getting you to your purpose, your ultimate goal.
And you can start with little shit like, “Hey, I’m going to make my bed,” or whatever. But do all these little things and then say, “Okay, if I have this plan to do something in my dharma, doing one goal every day to get closer.” You have to have a goal, you have to be purposed, you have to be driven, you have to do all those things.
If there are any guys out there who are struggling with that, then they need to go and sign up for SMM because it’ll change your life like it changed mine.
KIM: Love it! Thank you, Jim. Always a pleasure.
JIM: Thank you, Kim. Always my pleasure too.
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Now it’s totally fair to say that women have their own roles to play in having orgasms and in the relationship overall.
But right now, I’m talking to you GUYS and focusing on your part and everything YOU can do to improve your connections with women.
Don’t you worry none, I take the women to task the same way.
But right now, school is in session for you.
And it’s really in session, because SMM opens for registration at the end of August.
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We cover ALL of these uncockblocking and cockfidence building practices in my legendary 8-week online salon—Sexual Mastery for Men Salon, where you’ll learn:
- How to last longer in bed: my massively effective techniques to eliminate premature ejaculation permanently and extend your staying power for as long as you want.
- Orgasms without ejaculation.
- How to achieve the deeper, vaginal orgasms for women.
- Cock lengthening and strengthening exercises.
- How to occupy your masculine power and dominance to embody the alpha male energy that all women want.
- How to use your sexual energy and relationship as a power source in your life to bring you more cash, business success and overall life abundance.
- And much more!
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The salon opens at the end of August. In the meantime, you can check out the free, preview video series.
Signup for the free video series and salon at Sexual Mastery for Men.
