Polarity: The Hottest Sexual Chemistry – Transcript
Polarity: The hottest sexual chemistry. The universal law of opposites.
What is chemistry? It’s the spark, the attraction that draws you together. In relationship, this could be many things. I often see it as a karmic interchange where we recognize something in the other person that is necessary for us to work out and balance as part of our spiritual development, so we are drawn to each other. Most people never see that, so they just get stuck in difficult patterns and think that they have a bad relationship, and then they leave.
This is a quote from Carl Jung on chemistry that I love: “The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed.”
Chemistry is a message that there is something here for us. At its core, primal level, chemistry is visceral, animal, an inexorable pull. A spontaneous wetness between the legs, an erection that springs to life without any touch, a pounding heart, a dizzy head, weakness in the knees, a full-body flush.
I posted a reel on Instagram the other day with the caption “The hottest sexual chemistry.” The full post read:
“The hottest sexual chemistry and couples who can’t keep their hands off each other generally have exaggerated feminine and masculine energies at play. Archetypally speaking, the feminine energy is softer, open, receptive, and embodies the spiritual notion of surrender, the goddess archetype. Masculine energy is more active, achievement-oriented, driven, takes charge, and makes things happen. The warrior archetype.
“We all have these energies at play. For the most part, women inhabit feminine energy, and men masculine energy. On a primal level, women want their men stronger than them. They want a man who can be the protector, who can stand his ground, who exudes power and confidence, is dominant and can take the lead. Men enjoy a woman who can truly open herself, trust and fully surrender to him. She can go with the flow.
“Our sex life gives us a chance to explore and play with these themes to experiment, try them on, and bring dormant parts of us to the surface.”
Needless to say, this post was very popular because it’s true. If you’ve felt it, you know. If you have felt the thrill of a confident, dominant man, picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder and taking you into the bedroom, you know. If your man has you pinned up against the wall, spreads your legs, nuzzles into your neck, and growls all the things he’s going to do to you, you know. If your man takes charge in your lives together and in his own, is directive and sure of himself, you know. Your pussy knows.
If your woman is soft and flowing and receptive and shows how she trusts you, you know. If she looks into your eyes with pure adoration and surrender as you are f**king the sh*t out of her and she is utterly melted, you know. And your cock knows. Everybody knows.
We live in a world of polarity and duality. Of yin and yang, sun and moon, light and dark, good and evil. That is the whole point of being here. To know ourselves by pressing up against our opposites and getting f**ked open by them. There is little more pleasurable than this feeling of being seen, known, desired, and penetrated by our opposite.
F**k gender neutrality. Give me polarity. Give me extremes. Give me the laws of nature. Give me a man ravishing the sh*t out of me and penetrating and f**king me into oblivion.
To be clear, pussy is delicious, but cock? Cock is what fuels my life. Precisely because it is the yang to my yin. The only people who dismiss these truths are so traumatized or programmed that they cannot see or feel what is real any longer. The level of openness and vulnerability that is required to truly allow yourself to be penetrated and seen becomes too much for them, so they retreat into the safety, or the illusory safety, of neutrality.
A lot of couples have come to me over the years stuck in some gender-neutral spasm. Of course, they have stopped having sex. Surprise, surprise!
For my generation, which is Generation X, women were programmed to take on more masculine qualities to be able to achieve things in the world. The messaging that we received was that if you wanted to climb the corporate ladder or have business success, then you had to embody masculine energy. Feminine energy just was not welcome in the workplace or the corporate world, and you would not be taken seriously.
Women, and for a time that included me, took on masculine traits and energies. Men around this time were experiencing cultural backlash for being toxic masculine and were taught that they needed to get more in touch with their feelings and their emotional sides. Which is a great thing, obviously, but along the way, and with the best of intentions, many couples reached this stagnancy of gender neutrality.
They equalized everything. They were both income earners; they shared child-rearing and household chores. And again, I have no problem with that, but in the midst of all this, they lost the essence of what it means to be masculine and feminine. They stopped cherishing their archetypal differences and enjoying them. The same thing is happening now, but with a different language. The vilification of the essential masculine and feminine is rampant.
I’ll tell you this right now: No one who claims to have gender neutrality is having great sex. No one. If I had to name it, I’d say that’s the whole point of this psyop. People won’t be having sex and reproducing anymore because they won’t have any genitals left. Newsflash: You actually need these things for human reproduction. That’s how it works.
Couples come to me, and the spark is gone. Can they get it back? Well, it depends on whether they had it before, which is easier, because we know that it was there and something covered it up, or they never had it at all, which is harder because their head made the decision to unite with this person, not their hearts or their genitals. When we peel off their protective layers and see what’s underneath, we don’t know what we’ll find.
Most people and relationships are layered up with so much trauma and programming and unresolved issues that they are not able to access their love and vulnerability underneath all of that.
Part of the layering up is people straying away from their true essences and natures. Let’s say that you have a man who grew up with a violent father, which is the true toxic expression of masculinity. So he vows never to be that man, and he swings to the opposite side of the spectrum. He doesn’t express his truth, has no boundaries, and is a pushover.
A woman may have similarly disowned her feminine energy. Maybe she didn’t have trauma, but she grew up with the messaging that we all do, or at least my generation did, and that she needed to man up to make it in this world.
These two meet, they fall in safety, not love, and they decide that each is a suitable non-risk to be with, and they’re right. They will never get to the deep, raw, naked heart and naked genital, passionate love that changes them and changes the world. They will be stuck in gender neutral, politically correct, ultrasafe, and completely un-f**k-able purgatory forever.
They will tell you ad infinitum how they are such good buddies and good partners and sex really isn’t all that important in a relationship anyway, because there is no f**king way that this couple is having good sex. The occasional once-a-year, duty and guilt-bound sex they do have is almost certainly going to involve a limp dick, because non-masculine men can’t get it up, and a dry vagina.
So lots of lube, maybe some Viagra, and some antidepressants because deep down, they hate the deadening lie of existence they have created for themselves.
Their sexual organs likely begin to manifest some ailments. She might have painful periods and a growth on an ovary. He’s got ED, and when he can get it up, then it’s PE, or premature ejaculation, maybe an enlarged prostate. They both have low libidos, like this is some condition that you mysteriously get, rather than you being with someone you just don’t want to f**k. [Laughs]
Chemistry is where it’s at. Chemistry will change your life. Chemistry is your body’s way of telling you that you are on track. You are good for me and my genitals.
The wildest, most vulnerable, life-changing sex happens when you are all in. When you are so powerfully attracted, smitten, enchanted, entranced, and in full adoration of the other person. You are open to them, and they are open to you.
If you are living a life of posturing and protection and pretend with all the societal overlay that you’ve adapted to fit in or be politically correct because you just don’t know what you don’t know, you will not reach these places. It is much safer to be gender neutral and such good buddies. You won’t get hurt. You’ll be living in this territory of the neutral zone.
Then people start to justify that as a way of life, and they come up with elaborate theories, as we’re now seeing, of why this is the way it is.
In today’s episode, we are talking to Well-F**ked All Star Couple Jim and Meg. Jim and Meg are self-confessed “Anami whores,” to use Jim’s colorful words, to describe how they have signed up for every Anami salon since they began this journey last year with Coming Together.
We interviewed Jim in an episode from August 2022, which is Season 4, Episode 26, called “How to F**k Your Woman Into Oblivion.” He shared in that conversation how the major key to them totally transforming their relationship was amplifying their masculine and feminine energies. He talked about how this led to the best sex they’ve ever had, and all the reverberations of that into their day-to-day lives.
Today we’re going even deeper into the oblivion-f**king territory. We’re going to be joined by Meg, Jim’s partner, and they will both share their perspectives on this provocative and oh-so-profound topic of polarity.
There is a lot to unpack here because on the surface, it can be easy to misunderstand what we’re getting at. This conversation between the three of us does a brilliant job of going deep enough to do that.
If you’re feeling a bit provoked, that’s a good thing. I am a provocateur; after all, it’s my job. Stay with it, and open yourself up to the very deep ideas here.
I also realize that so much of what we talk about runs totally contrary to the current brainwashing and propaganda that’s out there about gender ideology. I’ll let you know right now, I do not give a sh*t. I gleefully, gloriously do not give a flying f**k. If you feel compelled in your under-f**ked state to try to educate me to do better, don’t bother. In other words, f**k off.
I’m here to f**k on, f**k through, f**k all over the place, and help all those people who want the same thing to get there. You can go back to your sexless, gender neutral, psyop existence, and go write some anonymous internet comments to get your non-sex on. We will all be over here getting f**ked into oblivion.
Without further ado, here are Jim and Meg.
***Polarity: The Hottest Sexual Chemistry Interview***
KIM: Welcome, Jim and Meg! It’s so great to have you here.
MEG: Hey, Kim, good to be here.
JIM: Always good to be here.
KIM: So tell us about the evolution in your relationship, of your masculine/feminine dynamic, and then in the way that I talk about and teach this stuff, how that’s shifted for you and what you recognize as being out of balance in the past and how that impacted your relationship, the rest of your lives, and where you’ve come to now.
JIM: Okay. Well, after Coming Together, she did Well-F**ked Woman, and then I hopped into Sexual Mastery for Men, and we were just loading our toolbelts with more Anami tools. And we were riding high after those salons. We were in a great place, implementing everything that you were teaching. Life went on, and we had our ups and downs and our struggles, but the tools that you laid upon us helped us to identify things and do an about-face. Where before, we would just have had no way to correct the spin that we were in.
MEG: We even recognized that we were in that spin. The biggest thing that we learned with the first salon, Coming Together, was how to balance our polarity, where I was in my masculine constantly, and Jim wasn’t. I wouldn’t say he was so much in his feminine, but he was not leading us. And I was a bulldog, whether it was my personal life, my work life, or with my kids, so there was a constant unhappiness and unsettled feeling. He recognized it, but I didn’t.
The biggest thing that we identified after coming out of Coming Together was recognizing that imbalance in our polarity. That then evolved into Well-F**ked Woman, which was embracing my feminine in a bigger way. It really helped me spend time on myself. Because we started out in the couples salon, but Well-F**ked Woman really helped me focus on me and what I needed to do to recognize how to be in my feminine on my own, a lot of times without Jim necessarily driving the sexual aspect of it.
Then Jim did Sexual Mastery for Men, which really brought out, I think, the purpose that he was looking for and gave him a sense of direction in his life.
And so we have been thriving. We’ve had our ups and downs, no doubt, but with all the tools, like you said, that you’ve empowered us with. We recognize very quickly when there’s a shift in polarity because we’re undoing 40-some years of a certain way that we’ve been living. But we recognize it very quickly. We use the tools that you’ve given us to start moving in the direction of being in polarity. Me in my feminine and him in his masculine.
KIM: Can you describe more of what that means for people? When you’re in your polarity, things are working better, you’re in your feminine, and he’s in his masculine. What does that feel like and look like?
MEG: Can I go?
JIM: Yeah, go for it.
MEG: Growing up, I was always told, whether it was by my parents or friends, that, “You should’ve been a boy; you should’ve been a guy. You have all these characteristics.”
JIM: Strong characteristics.
MEG: Yes. Characteristics of someone who would lead and take charge. So I subconsciously grew up thinking that maybe I was misgendered in a way. I never thought I should’ve been a boy, but more of a, “Okay, so I am a woman, but I’ve been blessed with all these qualities that I have, and I should use them for my benefit.”
Whether it was my personal life, where I thought I was a strong, assertive woman, or my professional life, I always led with my masculine, being that decision-maker, driving things, making things happen. But what I never recognized—and this is something that Jim started to take notice of—is that I was constantly unhappy, and I had no reason to be unhappy. I have a great job. I have a wonderful husband, amazing kids, and every day I’d come home and have a short fuse. I’d be frustrated all the time, and I attributed that to every ounce of patience I had being used up at work.
When in reality, it was all due to the fact that I was living in my masculine and trying to not embrace my feminine, meaning it was against everything that came naturally to me when I didn’t even recognize what came naturally to me, which was being in my feminine.
Through the course, that was one of the biggest shifts we had, and I recognized that I was constantly in my masculine, and I didn’t need to be. When I stopped doing that, stopped leading, stopped being aggressive all the time and coming at it like a man instead of approaching things from a more feminine perspective, boy, oh boy, did that change things.
Go ahead. It sounds like you had a question.
KIM: Yeah. How would you approach things from a more feminine perspective?
MEG: So I would say just not having to constantly feel like I’m in fight-or-flight mode. Being better f**ked helped without a doubt. Because yes, we probably had a great sex life, but I was clearly under-f**ked. Having amazing sex, those incredible orgasms definitely helped. But also the meditations that you provided, doing the jade egg, all the tools helped me approach things in a more nurturing way and more of a softer—what’s the word I’m looking for—just letting the world lead and letting things fall into place instead of feeling like I have to be in control all the time.
And when you approach it from the perspective of, “I’m surrendering. I know the world will catch me if I fall. I know Jim will catch me if I fall,” things do fall into place. I don’t have to think four months ahead as to how my life is going to turn out because it’s going to turn out exactly how I want it to if I let go.
Letting go was a big part of recognizing that’s what helps me be in my feminine without having to feel like I’m constantly leading and taking charge.
KIM: So instead of thinking and making a decision about something you want and bulldozing and maybe ignoring signs that might be guiding you this way a little bit or that way a little bit, you’re just “Full-steam ahead, I got this.”
Now you can still choose what you want, but you’re more open to signs from the universe, to help from the universe, and it’s like slowing down to listen to your intuition and not coming from a place of “I have to bulldoze through this, or it’s not going to happen.” You can go at an easier pace and trust that what’s meant to be will be.
MEG: You’re absolutely right, yes. I think you articulated it better than I could, I must say. But the big thing is the signs from the universe and letting things fall into place as they’re supposed to. That was huge.
JIM: Just huge.
MEG: And that’s been happening to me constantly.
JIM: Just at her job.
MEG: Yes.
JIM: There were so many signs—
MEG: Exactly. It’s like the universe was holding me and shaking me, and in the past, I would’ve said, “Whatever.”
JIM: Seriously.
MEG: “Yes, I’ve got this.”
JIM: Yes.
MEG: But I used to come home at night, and I would tell Jim about these things and he’d say, “Look, it’s like the universe is sending you signs.” And I’d say, “Damn right it is, and it’s catching me and preventing me from doing things that I probably would have done and wound up in a worse situation than I am because I’m not letting things play out the way they need to and trusting the process.”
And so you’re 100% right. Absolutely, that was a huge shift for us. For me.
JIM: Yeah. When our polarity is messed up, I am a miserable son of a bitch because I’m unhappy. Once you’ve had that taste of the correct polarity, when it’s not there, it just sucks.
MEG: We’re both unhappy.
JIM: Yes.
MEG: I get miserable, he gets miserable, and we recognize it very quickly and step back from it.
JIM: And it’s time to clear the glass and have talks about sh*t that’s happening
KIM: Let’s pause for one second. Jim, what does it look like for you then when you’re imbalanced and out of polarity? You said you’re miserable, but how else does that look? And then how does it look when you’re in your polarity and in your masculine essence? What does that look and feel like for you, in the same way that Meg described it for her?
JIM: I will say that when we’re out of balance and I’m not in my masculine, it seems like you’re working so much harder to get anything done in the relationship. I’m just ready to say, “All right, what are we doing here?” Back into the old unhappiness. Everybody in the house becomes more agitated. My work is not as efficient and streamlined because I’m thinking about relationship and how out of balance we are and how bad it sucks, so it’s almost like being in a depressive state.
And I’ll have to do energy clearing on myself just to get my energy up because I feel such a zap of energy, whether that be working out or wanting to eat right or do all these things in my progression of changing into a more masculine man; everything becomes just a struggle. Because if there’s no happiness in the home, it’s just like, f**k it.
It’s so hard to describe because we lived that way so long, and then when we went through all these classes, it was completely different and when you get back into it, it’s amazing how it sucks you in. Right? You have to put in the work because it sucks you in and you start just being an asshole to yourself and to your spouse and your kids and everything like that. It’s huge.
When I’m in my masculine, I am grabbing the world by its ears and f**king its face. But when I am not, then I am back to being a purposeless bitch, like I was before I met Kim Anami. It’s that big for me.
KIM: Tell us more about f**king the world in its face [laughs] and being a purposeless bitch.
JIM: When I was not in my masculine, I didn’t take care of Meg, and I wasn’t there for the boys. Not that I was a bad dad or anything like that, but I wasn’t there 1000% like I am now, leading my boys, teaching them, pushing them, making them better boys and soon-to-be men.
Then I was just a drifter. I knew that I wanted to do all these things, but my confidence was low and my weight was always up and down, things like that. It was just like a boat without a rudder. Just purposeless.
And when you’re purposeless like that, and you have no masculine essence, then you are bit of a bitch. It is what it is.
KIM: A whiny bitch.
JIM: You’re a whiny beta bitch. I wasn’t metrosexual or anything like that, but I would just say I needed to step up. I needed an ass kicking.
Now, on the other hand, when I’m in my masculine, I feel like I can conquer the world. I’m just kicking ass on what I need to do, and my purpose is laser-focused. I have a complete plan of how we’re going to switch our roles for good, permanently. I don’t know if we should talk about it now or later, but we’re in this dynamic where she’s been the breadwinner for most of our relationship. Because I’ve always had 1099-type jobs, like independent contractor. I ran my own hedge fund, etc., etc. I’ve always done the risky stuff, and she’s been stable and so the role has been really reversed.
KIM: In your outer vocational lives, earning and career, you’re saying that Meg’s had this traditional, more masculine role?
JIM: Yes.
KIM: You’ve had a more feminine role in that.
JIM: Yes. And I’m going to go out on a limb and tell you that is a huge source of frustration, and I think it’s not just me, but talking to other men in SMM and other men who I do energy clearing work with, I think that is beyond huge.
Not saying that she has to be home with a maid outfit and whatever, go into her own business and all that stuff, but taking care of the house—
MEG: And providing for your family.
JIM: And providing for your family is such a masculine necessity, I cannot even stress it enough. And I know that will piss some people off, but I don’t care, because I know it to be true. You have to provide for your family. You have to provide for your wife. You have to give her that option to—
MEG: The choice.
JIM: The choice to explore what she wants to explore, like being a great mom or whatever it is that it is for her to feel feminine. I never gave that to her. Ever. And I never knew how necessary that was until I went through your classes, period.
MEG: Yeah.
JIM: Again, it took me from being a purposeless, lost little bitch, into a crazy- masculine guy. I have a plan, and I know it’s going to work. I’m busting my balls doing it, and it’s going to change our relationship, I think, permanently.
I think that’s why we get into these lulls—
MEG: Ebbs and flows.
JIM: Ebbs and flows. Because that is the ultimate thing that will come up for us. That is the thing that tips our polarity the most. I think once that is reversed, then we’re not going to have these ebbs and flows because she’s not going to have to be at an office. Even though she’s doing her—
MEG: Without a choice.
JIM: Yes.
MEG: The thing that I want to add to this—and I’m sure a lot of women are in this position—is that I felt like I didn’t have a choice to do what I wanted to do and had to keep doing what I was doing, even when I had two kids, to make sure we had stability from a family perspective. And that shouldn’t have been my role; that should have been Jim’s role.
That was huge, because of that anger and resentment I had in terms of not being able to do what I wanted to do—and I always thought of that as the freedom to explore career choices, but now when I look back, what is it that I really wanted? What I wanted to do was to be at home with my children, with my boys, for the first five or six years of their life.
I fight that battle still, the guilt of not being able to do that, to nurture them and raise them. How empowering is that as a mother? As women, that’s our strength. You know, we poopoo, “Oh, why do you want to be a stay-at-home mom? Oh man, what a waste of your brain, and why would you want to waste all this education you’ve had?” That then inherently feeds into hiding your feminine, and, my whole life, I’ve looked at being in my feminine as a weakness. As a sign of weakness.
JIM: It’s a superpower.
MEG: And if anything, it’s a strength. To me, that was the biggest shift. I could never pinpoint, why is it that I’m frustrated? Why is it that I’m unhappy?
And going through these courses with you, I’ve been able to understand and recognize it was polarity, not being in my feminine, and then realizing, why was I not in my feminine? Well, because Jim wasn’t in his masculine.
The source of our unhappiness was the polarity issue that we had, which did not allow us to be in the roles that we wanted to be. And we still are not there yet, like Jim said, but we recognize it.
JIM: And we have a plan.
MEG: We have a plan, yeah.
JIM: Through clearing the glass, we were able to pinpoint what it was and categorize everything and understand it. That was all through glass clearing and working through things. And then also, our independent work in WFW and SMM, and combining all these different things, has really allowed us to have an understanding, which is, to me, very powerful. Because we have a plan, and we stick to it, and yeah, there are frustrating days.
MEG: That’s when we realize we need to clear the glass, run into the bedroom, and—
JIM: And have a good f**king.
MEG: [Laughs] But we fixed all the peripheral things that I think stemmed from that polarity imbalance that we had. Then the final thing for us is reversing the role of me being the provider financially in our household and Jim taking charge of that, so I can—
JIM: And I’m doing the most masculine thing that I could ever do by protecting our home. But it’s funny how that happens. The thing that’s going to reverse us is one of the most masculine things that I could do. So it’s just fitting, I guess you could say, that it’s going to end up like that.
KIM: Okay. How about how your polarity showed up sexually? You had this going on in your outer lives, and then what did that look like in the bedroom, and what correlation was there during this?
JIM: When we’re out of polarity, we have dry spells. [Laughs] Seriously, it’s as simple as that. We had a pretty long dry spell a couple of weeks ago. She was lying in bed and tired and whatnot, and I literally just put my cock down her throat and got things started. It’s the spark that gets us going back in the masculine and the feminine.
MEG: Jim leading in the bedroom is a huge turn-on. It’s not to say that we didn’t have a good sex life before.
JIM: No, we didn’t. I’m telling you, we thought we did.
MEG: Yes.
JIM: But since you taught us gourmet sex, no, we didn’t have.
MEG: No.
JIM: We were vanillas, like your average-Joe sex, thinking it was awesome.
MEG: [Laughs] Very true. When Jim is in his masculine, to answer your question about how that polarity shows up in the bedroom, it’s a huge turn-on. When he leads, I feel his energy; I feel like he’s taking charge. It makes me want to surrender and just let go. And that is huge because the more I learn about letting go, especially in the bedroom, the more amazing sex I have. I’ve never cried when I had sex, and some of the orgasms—
JIM: Just yesterday.
MEG: Yesterday twice.
JIM: Twice.
MEG: I was just bawling. I said, “Okay, I needed that.” I feel like I’m walking on clouds, Kim, and it’s just a Zen, beautiful feeling.
JIM: Bliss.
MEG: Blissful feeling. The only other time that I felt bliss physically is when I’ve held my babies and my children. And so when I described to Jim how I feel in the bedroom after we’ve had this amazing encounter where he’s in his masculine and I’m in my feminine, it literally feels blissful, and there’s not a way in my mind to describe it.
JIM: Yeah. And I’m in control too. I can f**k her for 30 minutes or more, and that’s how we have—
MEG: Ten minutes used to be an accomplishment. [Laughs]
JIM: As long as she came first, I said, “All right, now I can just …”
KIM: “I’m a winner!”
JIM: “Now I can stop thinking about Margaret Thatcher,” right?
KIM: Old flex, new flex.
JIM: Right? The other night was cervical, followed by waves, followed by cervical, and I think, and correct me if I’m wrong, a lot of cervical orgasms have been emotional releases. But the other night was the first time I believe that it was just pure bliss, right? Because we’ve worked on all this cathartic release of emotions, and now she’s getting to the point where they’re blissful. She’s still crying and all that stuff, but it’s different—
MEG: Different waves of emotion. When you say, Kim, “Go deeper and there’s always more to explore,” that’s so true. Because I’m definitely experiencing that in our relationship.
I’ve always wanted a more masculine man in my life. Someone who could take charge. There’s no bigger turn-on than Jim taking charge, taking the initiative, and not asking, “Do you feel like having sex today?” Instead of just picking me up, taking me to the bedroom, throwing me on the bed, and doing what he needs to do. Such a huge turn-on.
When you said that in a lot of your online content, it is so true. And I would challenge any woman out there to disagree with me, because that is a fact. [Laughs] And that puts me in surrender and helps me enjoy sex even more.
JIM: I put together a program as well. And just the mere fact of me putting together the program was a huge turn-on because it was me taking the initiative.
KIM: What program was it, Jim?
JIM: Oh, Kim, let me just [laughs]—so we really got into lingam massages and yoni massages and things like that. And as Meg became more in her surrender, she was able to understand meditation and spiritual transcendence and getting to your higher self and all those kinds of things.
MEG: And exchanging energy.
JIM: And exchanging energy. Those were all foreign concepts that I always, always, always wanted from her and never got until we went through these courses, where the wall around her is crumbling so that she can be with herself and get into that energy. That beautiful energy that we all have, which 99% of us are scared to tap into.
KIM: And I think listening to what Meg was saying earlier, as a woman, especially from our period of time or generation, there was this real pushing away of anything feminine, right? Feelings? Yuck. Anything that had echoes of the feminine was weakness and wouldn’t be productive in terms of getting ahead in the world. I’d say, “Oh, what feeling? What is the use of that? That is such a waste of time.” I had those kinds of thoughts for years and years, decades ago. I wonder if part of that was an association with those things as being feminine.
MEG: 100%.
JIM: But I wonder if it is also that she felt comfortable and safe enough to finally—
MEG: Let my walls down.
JIM: Let her walls down, but within herself.
MEG: But Kim is 100% right.
JIM: I’m wrong. [Laughs]
MEG: No, no.
KIM: It’s both. I see it being both.
JIM: I’m just kidding.
MEG: I remember growing up, it was always, “Think with your head, not your heart, because your heart can mislead you.”
KIM: Right! Right!
MEG: And especially as a woman, every time I’ve had a gut feeling about something or responded to something from my heart, it’s always been right. And I told Jim last night, “Jim, I’ve always made every decision with my head. Even the thought of having a first child. Okay, we’ve been married three years, we’re good, everybody around us is …” You know, it’s stupid how much we let that take over our lives.
And I said to him last night, “Jim, one of the few decisions I made with my heart was my decision to marry you and be with you.” Because logically, oh gosh, we’d been dating less than a month. We didn’t know each other. I didn’t know much about his background. But whatever, something clicked. In my heart, I knew this was right, and I followed it. Because clearly, despite all the things that haven’t worked out for us, he was the right man for me, and I realized that after Coming Together even more.
JIM: I think I became the right man, right? Maybe it was always in there, right?
MEG: I wouldn’t have married him if that wasn’t the case, because inherently, deep down, I knew how I felt.
But you’re so right. We’ve been really trained, and now more so than ever, to constantly fight what comes naturally to us, which is ingrained in our heads to be a weakness, when, if anything, it’s the strength that we have.
KIM: Beautiful. So how else did you say that the correction of polarity and the inhabiting of your sexual energies has impacted your outer life? You’ve talked a little bit about career and work. Are there any other areas where you’ve noticed the reverberations?
Because in the way that I frame these things, the couple really is the heart, the energy generator, the fuel source for not only their own connection, but for their family and their community. We’re all these power generators when we’re really synced up together. If you really think about it that way, that concept of polarity means the negative and the positive come together. Like an electric charge. We create that charge every time we’re having sex in a conscious way and not just dumping out that energy.
We are these power generators all over the place. No wonder there’s such a huge effort to confuse people about what their sexuality really is.
JIM: Of course.
KIM: Knowing that and knowing and feeling and seeing these waves move out from you into the world, what other impacts have you seen happen in your world?
JIM: I think by now, being in that polarity and that masculine, having the balls to speak my truth—even just with my neighbor. We had some work done, and it had come to me that he was not happy that we were starting this project or whatever. I just went out there and talked to him about it. I wasn’t a pussy about it.
And he said, “Oh, no, no. I just thought it was doing this and whatever,” but it smoothed everything out, and there was nothing to be agitated about and no awkwardness.
So even with your neighbors, having the confidence to speak and be the man that I’m supposed to be is, I believe, is inspirational to other men. And then in our own community, within our own house, I believe it’s changed a lot with our boys.
MEG: Our dynamic with our kids.
JIM: And again, just me being more—
KIM: Are you guys referring to the FUKMORE parenting method?
JIM: Yes. [Laughs]
MEG: [Laughs] Yeah.
KIM: Yes, I thought so.
JIM: Yes, and our eight-year-old says, “Hmm, going to the bedroom?” Raising the eyebrows. And he thinks we’re just going to kiss, which is fine. Yeah.
KIM: [Laughs] You’re going to recharge the battery and plug in.
JIM: Exactly. But I think it’s allowed me to be more present with them, really appreciate my time with them, lead them, work on them mentally, and hopefully set an example for how to be a man. How to be masculine. Because we have a dynamic with both our boys. One is older and sensitive. The other one is more Tasmanian devil, more street-smart.
I know that’s how I grew up, like my older one, and so I can show him now how to be masculine and teach him so that he can recover, whether he’s doing sports or anything like that, and have the confidence inside himself. That’s huge.
MEG: Especially in an environment where all our kids hear about is toxic masculinity—these are key words that they constantly hear, and they start believing. A lot of the things that we have—
KIM: Your kids at what age are hearing about toxic masculinity?
JIM: Oh, third grade. We pulled our kids out of public school. It was horrible.
MEG: Yeah. We don’t need propaganda education. To us, it was huge. And it’s not that it shelters them completely, because they do other things where they hear these things or start observing things. And we want them to be comfortable in their skin and own what they have, and it’s a beautiful thing. Had I recognized that, I would’ve turned out to be so different, growing to be a young teenager as a woman. I wouldn’t have had this constant polarity struggle that I’ve been dealing with my entire life, 40 years of it; it’s exhausting and terrible.
We want our boys to recognize their strengths as men and grow up to be the men that they need to be.
JIM: Well, here’s another thing too. If you talk about community, within our circle of friends, we can be at a New Year’s party or whatever it is, and people will poke fun of us, like, “Oh, you guys are always all over each other,” blah, blah, blah. But that’s inspired other people to come to us separately outside the group to say …
MEG: “What’s going on?”
JIM: “What’s going on?” I sent one of the folks in our little circle of friends our YouTube video between the first interview. And she watched it, and now she identifies on a different level with Meg because she’s experiencing the same thing.
So we’re out in the community, living this new life and inspiring other people to say, “Hey …”
MEG: We’re helping them recognize the same thing that we—
JIM: Why are they unhappy? Because everybody puts on their “everything’s okay” face. And part of that masculine energy and feminine energy is to be vulnerable and to allow yourself to show that. It’s not a weakness to say, “Hey, I was like that too. I struggled here. I think this could help you. You need to go see Kim’s work. You need to do all this stuff.”
And so we’re inspiring other people. You always get the people who think that everything is great, and they’ve got great sex lives and yada, yada, yada, when you know that they’re screaming for help on the inside.
But the people that we’re able to affect in the community who will listen are changing their own lives.
MEG: I’ve had a more open relationship and discussion about this with my mother. My own mother, who basically stayed at home, raised us, and always thought of that as a sign of weakness. She’s extremely feminine, my mother, and she raised me to be anything but like her. And so we’ve talked about that and recognized how I admire what she did and looked at that as a strength. How lucky she was to be able to embrace her feminine because she grew up in a very different era and generation where she didn’t have to fight that.
And that being said, nothing will get done in that house without my mom’s permission. And my dad recognizes that, so he gives her that respect and catches her. If she says, “I don’t want to live in the city. I’m miserable here,” he will change his job and go somewhere else to make sure his wife is happy.
I started to recognize that dynamic between my parents, which I don’t think I ever had noticed before. And then having that open conversation with them has been just amazing.
JIM: Yeah. Here’s the other thing too. You created a monster when you gave us the tools to heal our traumas with all the different modalities. I became a master of one, and I’m able to go into the community and help others with their trauma, which is huge, because I never would’ve done that if I didn’t have the confidence and the masculine energy to lead somebody through very, very, very heavy stuff that I’ve worked with folks on; being that rudderless, purposeless person, I couldn’t have done that. I couldn’t be out in the community helping other people with energy clearing and trauma and things like that.
That would not have happened without your classes. I didn’t know about any of that stuff before I started working with you.
MEG: And he uses that on our boys too.
JIM: Yes.
MEG: It’s been amazing. The whole concept of energy clearing and blockage is something that he recognizes. Especially our older son, who is a competitive swimmer, will tell us, “I feel like I’m swimming through mud. I’ve hit a wall. I can’t get past it.” He asks for tapping before going to a meet now.
JIM: Yep. And aligning his dantiens.
MEG: Yes. And his chakras.
JIM: And he is a different swimmer.
KIM: And he knows it, yeah.
JIM: Oh, he’s a different swimmer. 100%.
MEG: It’s night and day.
JIM: But again, we’re using everything that we’ve learned in Anami Land and paying it forward.
MEG: It’s very empowering, Kim. I hope people who are listening recognize these struggles that we have daily and are able to understand why, and so much of it stems back to polarity. It’s just incredible.
JIM: But here’s the thing: You give people the tools to recognize it. Because otherwise you’re in this hamster wheel of, I’m pissed off, she’s pissed off, now I’m super unhappy and living this rat-race life, and then when you get off that train and stop and go through Coming Together or VKF or any of those things, you shower us with the gift of being able to say, “Okay, this is what’s causing that wheel to spin.” This is what’s causing that train to just push us through life unconsciously.
One of the best things I think I’ve seen you post on your Instagram was about transcending and trance-ending. And that’s what any salon that you offer allows people, if they put the work into it—to end the trance that they’re in.
KIM: That is so lovely. So beautifully put! Is there anything else that you two would like to add?
JIM: Just f**k a lot. But good, gourmet sex. And for the guys out there, I would say that this has made me recognize that when we get in our ruts, you don’t want to be the person that nudges—that’s the old me. The before Kim Anami me. The under-f**ked Jim.
As the man in your masculine, you have to recognize that you have to be the one that kickstarts this, that jumpstarts, that takes control. Again, in the bedroom, whatever it is, show that feminine woman, that partner of yours, that it’s okay for her to become that delicate flower. Once you do that, then you have this amazing sex, glass clearing, and honesty.
Be able to speak your truth to your partner and be confident about that. And also understand that you’re taking that 150% on your side and whatever, there’s no judgment. I’ll give you an example.
A couple of nights ago, we were clearing the glass, and I told Meg, I think for the first time, back when we were having all of our troubles, that all this would come up. She would say, “Do you want me to just be a traditional woman? You just want me to do this and that? I thought you wanted a strong woman.” And I think the other night is the first time I ever told her. I was too much of a pussy, because I didn’t know what would happen.
Now, I have no fear of saying, “This is what I want. This is what I want from you. This is what I need from you.” And then as I talk about that, there are still the two sides, right? I still worship her in her own way. But I am more of a man about it to say, “This is what I need. This is what I want. I’m going to tell you the truth now. I’m not going to be a bitch about it.”
KIM: Well, the phrase you just said, “I’m going to be a man about it.” So what is a man? What does being a man mean?
JIM: Man. You stumped me in that last interview, right? And I was rambling. I was thinking about this so much, wanting to be prepared. But it is absolutely being in control of yourself, having that confidence, speaking your truth, being in touch with your lingam, and letting your lingam shine that wand of light.
MEG: The confidence.
JIM: Vasana, like the power of the lightning bolt and stepping up. And I also think it’s protecting your home. It’s protecting your family against all this stupid bullsh*t. I think that’s a big part of being a man and protecting them from the Kabuki 19 and the mask-wearing, and all the other bullsh*t and standing up and being a light and a shield and leading like that.
There’s the whole alpha thing that I think is fake. There’s a way to be alpha but have all these different components and layers, being able to catch a woman and all that stuff and then having your chest out and proud and walking with cock-fidence, which is my favorite word.
And those are all the components of being a man. Huge.
KIM: And then Meg, what would you say being a woman is, in this framework?
MEG: In this framework, it is learning how to surrender and let go. And for me, that’s been the biggest shift. Recognizing polarity, recognizing my strengths as a woman, nurturing those, and taking care of myself, Kim. I don’t think I had done that in so many years. And that’s not, “Oh, I’m going for a run. I need my me-time.” It’s to internalize, to recognize the power of the feminine energy that we have.
All of that has been incredible and empowered me to be in my feminine and outside of, of course, the sexual orgasms that come with this. But it’s been life-changing for me. I found my balance. I’m very nurturing to my children, something that I’ve always wanted to be, and they feel it, they recognize it, Jim recognizes it.
And I’ve used the strengths that I’ve always recognized as a weakness to empower me. And I’ll tell you this, too, Kim—when I’m not in my feminine at work, things don’t go my way. I feel like I’m constantly fighting and butting heads with people. But the minute I’m in my feminine, all these men around me seem to start agreeing with me rather quickly, rather than having to have an argument to prove my point.
I have seen the benefit of being in my feminine, even in a corporate world environment, and making things happen the way I need them to, versus being in my masculine and forcing them to happen. It’s been amazing.
JIM: I think also for the men, you need to lift iron. You need to do calisthenics. That is one thing that I took away from SMM—self-pleasuring and generating that power from your lingam, but also on the outside. I’ve taken that way more seriously now with my diet and hiring a coach to get more strength and things like that. I think that is essential for a guy, because there are so many potato chip and beer people, whatever your poison is. I think you need that camaraderie with other men as well.
And probably the same with the women, right? To help you bask in that masculinity.
MEG: To find more of our kind. And actually, we have been able to do that through your salons, and it’s been really amazing to be with like-minded people who have recognized this and are on this journey together. We’ve made quite a few friends along the way through the salon and still keep in touch.
I love that. What would you say to people who might say, “Well, the things that you’re describing aren’t necessarily the jurisdiction of male or female? These are things that anyone could experience”?
JIM: Bullsh*t. Sorry. It’s bullsh*t. It’s not just me, but other men, like my brothers in SMM and her sisters in VKF or whatnot, we all experienced the same thing. We’re all human. We’re not transhuman. We’re not this. We’re not that. We are all human, and we have very specific energies. And the people who are in touch and can tap into those energies, whatever you came down here to be, I think it’s bullsh*t that people would ever think that this could be fake. They are hiding from something. They’re not being authentic, and I guarantee you that they are unhappy, under-f**ked people.
I have this body that I came down with. I chose to be a man. For the longest time, I thought I was a man, but I never tapped into that energy fully until you taught me. And that has been a source of happiness, now that I know what it is to tap into that energy.
So there’s no way that you can tell me that polarity works, where it’s “I can be the more masculine woman, and he can be feminine and all that stuff.” I’ll bet you all the money I have that there is unhappiness there. Because they’re not being authentic to themselves. And I just think that the sooner that people stop pretending that, the happier they will be.
I’m very emphatic about that, because it had such an impact on me in your classes. It’s literally changed my life, and that’s how important it is to me.
MEG: It helped put that into words for us. What was the source of our unhappiness? Why were we unhappy? What did it mean to have opposing polarity and be masculine and feminine? All we knew was that we had some friction, and we were unhappy but couldn’t tell why.
Going through your courses helped us recognize that, and a woman is a woman. I feel like if I struggled with it, then I’m sure a lot of working mothers are struggling with it. And why do you have that struggle? Because you’re opposing something that’s innately you and not embracing it or recognizing it. That’s been huge for us.
JIM: You’re opposing the source. That higher self, that consciousness. And you’re trying to say that it’s wrong. And because I was raised a certain way or because I’ve had this trauma or whatever, I learned until I was seven years old, and that’s my program I’m running, you’re going to justify it by saying, “No, I can be a strong woman as this,” blah, blah, blah.
No. A strong woman is somebody who can be delicate and surrender and live life through forging that path. I always like to use the analogy that it’s like superheroes. You’ve got Superman, the Green Lantern, whatever. And this guy is jealous because he can do this, this, and this, and he’s jealous of him because he can fly, and he’s got lasers out of his eyes.
But what they are missing is that their own superpowers are beautiful and amazing if they use them right. If they tap into them, there’s no reason for me to be jealous of her ability to out-nurture me. There’s no reason for her to be jealous of my masculinity and ability to be in control and lead.
MEG: We each have our different powers.
JIM: And those powers are beautiful. To each their own. So that is huge for me. And again, when you’re jealous of somebody else’s powers and you try to be that person, you’re going to be unhappy because you’re not living your authentic life. You’re not rolling with that higher consciousness because it’s jealousy.
And the corporate media is cramming this sh*t down both men and women’s throats to try to fool you into being inauthentic, being jealous of that other superhero’s powers, when you should be learning to tap into your own powers and exploit those and be the best superhero that you can be with the powers that you were given.
MEG: I don’t have to compete with a man to feel good about myself. That’s what I’ve learned and recognized in this process. That’s not my competition. It doesn’t need to be because we’re not competing fairly or equally; like you said, I have my own strengths that I can use for myself.
JIM: When she’s delicate and in surrender, that makes me feel like a f**king king. That is a superpower in itself. It inspires me to go out and want to be great. To do all these things. Yes, that’s innately in me, but when she is delicate and my flower, then it amplifies it. It’s like giving me testosterone pills naturally.
KIM: I love that. I love so much of what you guys have said there. The idea that we came into this earth and into this plane with these bodies, and they have their own inherent powers and gifts and strengths, and why wouldn’t you just embrace them and accept that’s the body that you have, and these are the powers therein? Yeah, I think that’s beautiful.
There was something else you said. I guess there’s this idea that you’re missing out on this pathway into a higher part of yourselves. I don’t know if you saw last week’s interview with Premala and David, and she was talking about how, after some really horrific sexual abuse and wanting to do anything but be in her body, one of the things that really brought her back into her body was the notion of being a woman.
Interestingly, her pathway into that was through natural law study. Natural man and woman. She realized, “I am a woman,” and somehow that was the huge key for her to get into her own body and the truth of who she is on these multiple levels and begin the deeper healing journey that she’s on and has been beautifully going through.
But we have these gifts, and that’s the whole point, to connect to what they really are. It seems like such a simple thing, I guess because the messaging is so strong, and there are different versions of it through the generations. We all had our own version of it growing up. It’s a different version now. It’s got a different slant to it. But we had our own versions of that in our generation, and I’m sure even before that.
JIM: Now, they’re mixing the genders, so nobody has superpowers. How anemic can we make both sides, to not be able to recognize their superpowers? I think that, again, that’s why your work is so important; you have the work for the couples. You have the work for the women. You have the work for the men. And it’s an invitation for all these people to learn about their superpowers.
KIM: Very well said. Through these electrical-charged genitals that we have, right?
Positive and negative charge. Attracting each other and coming together to generate all this power.
JIM: Yes. Huge.
KIM: Amazing. Well, thank you guys so much for being willing to have this conversation, because it’s complex and nuanced and can take a while if somebody hasn’t thought about this before; especially if they’ve come from the modern moment of vernacular around these masculine and feminine, then this could seem very confronting. But I think it’s like listening to the truth of people’s experiences, people who’ve really gone into that and had that. And like you said, the commonality within those experiences.
And then the resonant theme also seems to be that when people are reluctant to inhabit their bodies and those energies, it’s for a reason. It’s from trauma; it’s from a disassociation that is preventing them from really connecting.
And now, on top of that, so much brainwashing and propaganda.
JIM: Yes.
MEG: Yeah. And I was that woman. Even two years ago, if I were to have had these conversations, I would’ve sounded like everybody else out there. “You’re f**king crazy.” [Laughs] “If you’re telling me I can’t be the way I am because I’m a strong, assertive woman …” But the whole definition of what that means has evolved and changed so much, and we’re both in such a happy place in our relationship. It’s been life-changing, Kim.
And look, that’s the truth I’ve seen as well. If people are existing in a polarity-reversed or gender-neutral relationship, they’re not happy and they’re not f**king. If they are having any sex, it’s lame as f**k.
JIM: Yeah.
MEG: It is.
KIM: Three minutes, we can tick off the box, you know, we did it.
JIM: And then you go on to be miserable for the rest of the day because you are fighting your essence. You’re fighting your consciousness, your higher self. And that is exhausting in itself.
KIM: Yeah. 100%. Excellent. Well, thank you so much for sharing everything, and we’ll have to bring you back for an update in the future.
MEG: Awesome. Thank you for having us, Kim.
***
KIM: The Coming Together for Couples Salon is now open. This is my ten-week online salon for couples. In it, we go deep into how to break out of the buddies-and-sexless rut and into the wild and orgasmic reality of sexual polarity. Helping you to reconnect with and own your potent masculine and feminine essences. We also go into all things Orgasmapedia, from full-body and energy orgasms, G-spot orgasms for her and him, cervical orgasms and supercock stamina building so he can get her there.
You will receive tutorials and Tantric breathing and energy practices, yoni and lingam massage, how to use sexual reflexology maps and sexual positions for healing and rejuvenation, and much, much more.
To sign up, go to KimAnami.com, click on Sexual Savant Salons, and then you will find Coming Together.
