Create Your Dream Life with Your Vagina – Transcript
I often say that my vagina created my life.
Me, learning how to tap into the power of my sexual, pro-creative energy and use that to “birth” my life and projects with.
That’s what this energy is for.
It’s a channel we all are given and have constant access to.
But most people are too f**ked up around all things sexual.
They’ve bought into the cultural and religious programming and they’re terrified of their sexuality and its power.
They’ve associated it with something shameful and taboo they never ought to go near, or at least, never go deeply, soulfully into.
Or they have trauma associated with it, that also keeps them away.
So they skim the surface, having superficial sexual encounters and they just don’t get what the big deal is about sex.
Or they even disparage it.
They have this magical, golden resource literally at their fingertips that they never actually get to touch.
A huge part of my work is yes, showing people how to have more pleasure sexually.
But if they don’t WANT to have this, if they aren’t INSPIRED to, then they just won’t go there, no matter how many amazing techniques they have.
So then I try and show them this other dimension of their sexual energy: how it’s a creative portal.
How you are literally able to tune into the creative energy of the universe—it’s full reproductive power—and channel that source right into your life.
It’s the ultimate manifestation tool.
It’s the ONLY one, really.
In his famous 1927 book on how to create your reality, Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill talks about the concept of sex transmutation.
What he says in the book is that of all the mega-successful people he’d come across in his lifetime, there wasn’t a single one who wasn’t aware of and didn’t utilize the power of their sexual energy to create their world and their empires.
It’s the secret that even the book “The Secret” didn’t dare touch.
Most people don’t.
Except in Anami Land.
WE dare to *touch it* all over.
Being able to USE this energy as it’s meant to be used means that you have to clear any kind of impediments you have to connecting to it.
In Anami Land, we call this “clearing your blocks”.
Any of your beliefs, hangups, traumas—anything that stands in the way of you fully inhabiting your sexual self—has to be removed.
The walls separating you from this pure and primal energy source have to come down.
Once you do that, this flow becomes unstoppable.
YOU become unstoppable.
Because you’re now harmonized with the life-force energy of the universe.
The other major theme we talk about in this episode is the power of surrender and what we mean when we talk about women “magnetizing” things to them by being “in their feminine.”
This can sound rather ephemeral and trite so we break it down through her own journey of how it feels to transition from hustle to flow and go from thinking that the feminine is weak and ineffectual to really learning how to tap into this energy as a manifesting process.
And using it as a manifesting tool
AND this is something you can do solo.
You don’t NEED a partner to get there.
Will you go farther with a partner?
Yes, but only if they are FULLY onboard.
If they are passionate about growing and participating in the evolution of your relationship, then all systems go!
But if you have someone who is reticent and needs constant coaxing and convincing, you’re better off on your own, doing your own work—and play—and upleveling so you can attract a higher-caliber match.
In this episode, our Well-F**ked All Star Ondrea goes through the entire salon single and has incredible healing and breakthroughs.
Create Your Dream Life with Your Vagina Well-F**ked All Star Interview with Ondrea
KIM: Ondrea, so great to see you.
ONDREA: You too, Kim. It’s good to be back.
KIM: Yes. Ondrea had the distinct honor of winning the Well-F**ked Woman of the Year award. We have these contests that we run in the salons, and she got the honorary induction into the Well-F**ked Woman Hall of Fame this year, so pretty excited to have you here.
ONDREA: Thank you so much. It is truly an honor.
KIM: Tell me about some of the primary changes you’ve seen in your life, in your body, and how they connect to this work.
ONDREA: A friend of mine sent me your podcasts like a year and a half ago. I started listening, and I said, “This is really irritating.” I listened to one episode and said, “It’s not my shit,” so I stopped listening.
Then, like a week later, I found myself curious. “Maybe I need to listen to another one.” So I did. Aggravated even more than the first time, but I kept listening. I said, “I don’t understand; usually if I know something is not right for me, it’s out.” I just say, “No, that’s not my thing.” But I kept coming back, growing more and more agitated. I finally realized this agitation was because everything that I was hearing was hitting a spot that I hadn’t touched yet. It was basically my feminine energy rattling the cage. “Let me the fuck out of here!”
That’s when I said, “Oh my god, of all the things that I’ve done in my life. I’ve done ayahuasca. I’ve studied Buddhism. I did Vipassana meditation. I did the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. I got into a really deep meditation process and practice. I even went to the Academy of Intuition Medicine and got a master’s certificate in intuition medicine because I was trying to figure out what the discord was, what I was missing. Because I did not feel connected to myself. I didn’t know how to surrender. I didn’t know how to be free.
Then it hit me that my sexuality was the one place I hadn’t gone. I immediately looked to see how much the Well-F**ked Woman course cost, and I said, “No, too much. Too much money for me.”
Then I kept getting emails because I signed up, of course, for your updates. I was walking through the house. I got to my mailbox, opened it, and there was a check in the mail that I didn’t expect for $1,390. I had sold a couple of paintings, and the woman who was showing my work had sent me a check. I sat down in front of my computer, opened it, and got an email from you saying, “One day left to sign up for Well-F**ked Woman.” I just watched my fingers sign up, and that check went directly into it. I closed my computer and said, “Well, I guess I’m doing this.” And so then I was.
I entered with a very diligent vibrator practice. It was not sensual; it was like I was going to jackhammer myself into feeling good, which was how I drank and how I did everything. I wanted to feel different. I didn’t know any other way; I was not connected to myself.
I bought your dildo, Anahata, before I even signed up for the class. I would have that and my vibrator slathered in lube just to have an orgasm. That was the goal: “I have to have orgasms.” Whatever was in between, I didn’t understand. I just had to go straight there.
That’s how I lived my life. How you show up in bed, how you show up with your vagina, is how you’re going to show up in life. That’s how I showed up in yoga; that’s how I showed up in everything. I was going to jackhammer my way through this because I didn’t trust that anything would be provided for me, so I had to make it happen. I had to take it; I had to force it.
Femininity as Weakness
I wanted to be masculine. Femininity was displayed to me growing up as a weakness. I was fully abandoning that part of myself, and she was pissed. You can’t suppress feminine energy for very long; she finds a way out, but she’ll do so in a rage. Creative energy turns into destructive energy.
I blazed a trail in my life of burning bridges and lighting things on fire and walking away and then wondering why that happened. Then I would continue to force harder.
Coming into your program, I thought, “Okay, I’m just going to learn how to have orgasms; this is going to be great, and then life is going to be awesome. This is the answer to all my problems.”
Then week one happened. “We need to clear our blocks.” I said, “F*ck, I’m screwed. This is going to be work.” That’s when I fully dedicated myself. “Yeah, I’m all in. I can’t not go through this and wonder what it would have been like had I given it my all and fully done everything that you say and then have an opinion about after.” But I didn’t get to have an opinion before. Contempt prior to investigation is not legit.
Whole-Ass Effort vs. Half-Ass
And so I whole-assed it. I don’t half-ass anything, so I went whole-ass into the whole thing. Pages of journaling for all the questions that you asked from all the material that I listened to in your program, and then I would take it to the altar of my cervix and bring it into my vagina.
Trading the Vibrator for Your Own Hands
“I started slow and did all the things that were uncomfortable—yoni gazing, yoni reconnaissance—using my own hands.”
Dropping the vibrator was like getting sober. I had an ego death and thought, “I don’t know how I’m going to do this. I don’t think it’s possible.” So I had to surrender to what you were teaching and say, “Okay, I’ll give it a try.”
I tell you, when I started using my own hands to touch myself, I could feel the energy in my vagina, and I said, “Is this what men are experiencing when they’re with me? Lucky them.” Then I realized it’s lucky me.
KIM: What were you feeling? Describe it.
ONDREA: This powerful energy was rippling. I could feel it in my hand, and it would transmit through my whole body. It was like an awakening.
Then I realized I was being touched by me, and I was also feeling the sensation of self in both my hands and my vagina, if that makes any sense at all. In other words, instead of being the overseer in my brain, looking down on my vagina with a machine, I actually became the circuit in my own body, and I recognized that I am that. The energy is me.
Feeling myself being touched and feeling the touching at the same time is what sold me. Because I didn’t know this. I wanted to know what this power was.
KIM: I think that’s one of the big issues with a vibrator—it keeps women out of their vaginas. They’re told that the pleasure is here on this button externally, and then if they’re told that that’s the only kind of orgasm they can have, there’s not much reason for them to go inside the vagina. They might do it when they have sex with a man and may or may not have pleasure—maybe they have the clitoris rubbed incidentally in the moment—but they’re really never getting exposed to the deeper riches inside the vagina.
I think that step of self-reconnaissance and using our hands, like I always say, is getting to know every nook and cranny of your vagina. Getting to know yourself so intimately at that level of self-awareness, truly knowing thyself, is what helps to unlock all of this because there’s nowhere that you won’t go in that microcosm of your universal yoni.
The Psychedelic Vagina Galaxy
ONDREA: Yeah. And as I went deeper into that galaxy, into my vagina, it was like gates would open for me. I’d go deeper into another gate until I finally got to this point where I had entered this galaxy that was inside of me, which was the universe.
I was familiar with what that space was like through meditation that I’d done, but I didn’t know where I was actually going that whole time I was inside myself. I would try to leave my body all the time. Like, “I need to get there,” and this was such a shock to me. You know, you hear it all the time in Buddhism and stuff, “Go inward; it’s all there,” and I said, “Umm.” Intellectually, I got that, but I didn’t ever experience that.
It was through my vagina that I finally experienced that. “Holy shit, there’s a whole galaxy up here,” and every time, it’s a different experience. It’s a different nebula that I visit with more information that turns into wisdom, or I find things in there, like, “Oh, there’s an ex-boyfriend,” and I just kind of see him fly past. This is all while I’m in there. It has become my meditation. It has become a devotion.
KIM: Tell me more about the notion of surrender. Because you talked before about having a more—we might call it masculine, like jackhammering. You used that phrase, “jackhammering.”
ONDREA: Oh yeah.
KIM: Racing through things and then not trusting that things will be provided for you. Even the idea of—and I grew up with this as well—femininity being a weakness. “I’ll never be able to achieve anything with feminine energy. I’ll have to learn how to be …” And there are actually books talking about that. I remember reading them. “If you want to be successful in the world, in the corporate world, whatever, you have to take on masculinity. You have to learn to be one of the boys.” That was the advice.
How Does the Feminine Get Things Done? Aka Hustle vs. Flow
Then I realized, thankfully quite early on, even in my early twenties or late teens, that that wasn’t really me. I’d adapted those posturings and those kinds of energies because I thought I needed them. But then I realized that wasn’t the essence of me, and everything shifted.
But tell me about your journey with that, because that whole theme, I’d say, of hustle vs. flow, women are really exploring right now. How do we achieve things and get things done in the world using this kind of nebulous idea of feminine energy? What does that even mean? What does it look like? How does it work?
ONDREA: To me, that always meant sundresses and long hair and being submissive. And being polite, being a lady. To me, that was for the birds.
So I entered my adult life, immediately going into a masculine way, learning from men how to do things. And I’m an artist, so the most feminine energy is necessary to create, and I was trying to wrangle it instead of allowing it to show me what art was.
I started working at a video game company with 300 men. I was one of the only women. I stayed there for ten years. I became aware that I was trying to learn from these men about how to be in life. I didn’t think it was wrong.
The Adrenal Fatigue of Operating from the Masculine
I would hit these rock-bottom burnouts. Fatigue, just collapse, almost, and then needing to start over. I couldn’t figure out why I was burning out all the time. I just thought I needed to try harder and hustle harder and compete more.
I was in a company of men who, I mean, let’s be honest, were nerds who were scared of women, so it really drove it home that I should never be feminine.
KIM: They don’t even know how to be men.
ONDREA: Yeah.
KIM: They can’t teach you how to be men because they don’t know how to be.
ONDREA: There was no polarity, so it really fed that whole thing, “Don’t be feminine. That’s really scary.” I would get feedback all the time. Anytime I would wear lipstick or something, nobody would talk to me. Because they said, “Oh my god, women are scary.” I was overlooked in meetings and all kinds of stuff.
It wasn’t because they were chauvinists—well, maybe a little bit—but this was different. This was more like a fear of femininity.
I had entered an environment that fed my own fear of being feminine. Like I said, the repercussions were burnout, lack of vitality, and formulaic creativity. I would go to work and make art based off this formula, and it had to look a certain way, and it was more of a trade than a creative expression.
Anyway, I finally left that business, and I started my own business then. It was a wallpaper business, and I hustled. I hustled, and my body finally wouldn’t let me do it anymore and I had to leave the business, and I couldn’t figure out why.
Again, I had this programming of, “Well, I need to try harder. I’m just doing it wrong.” I was pushing my femininity farther and farther and farther away, farther down. I’m one of the most feminine people I know. I have so much feminine energy, and I’ve suppressed it so much in my life. Like I said before, it’s going to find a way out.
I would engage in destructive behaviors, addiction. The daggers started turning back on me, and I started to self-destruct.
Do I Need a Lover to Do Anami Work? Should I Get One?
KIM: You went through the salons on your own as a single person.
ONDREA: Yes.
KIM: Tell me about that. Because people sometimes ask, “Should I go get a lover to do the salon?” They don’t have the faith that they can access these really deep places on their own as a single person. How did that go for you?
ONDREA: I was curious how that was going to go. I didn’t feel held back by it. I said, “I’m going to find out. This is totally doable.” I didn’t feel intimidated by that, or I didn’t feel like I was less than because of that.
As I started to wake up my feminine energy and learn how to surrender, and I guess coming back to that question of the importance of surrender, once I saw how trying to be masculine was what was burning me out and how scared I was of being feminine based off programming in my childhood and all of that:
“I decided to just turn it over to my vagina. I said, “All right, you know how to do this. I don’t.”
My mind was so screwed up, and I was so burnt out; I recognized the burnout was trying to be masculine. I recognized I truly wanted to be feminine. That was my heart’s desire. Once I got deep with myself, I said, “No, this feels so much better. This feels so much more natural. This is effortless; it just is there. I don’t have to look at anybody else to know how to do this. It’s in my coding.”
I turned it over to my vagina and said, “Just show me how to do this, because I don’t know,” and she did. I started dropping into my body more.
Then that flow started to happen, and then orgasms started to happen. Because at the beginning, it was just clearing blocks, screaming, crying. That’s what my experience was in my vagina at first. It wasn’t a walk in the park. But there was this release that would happen that felt good. I would feel more whole afterward.
“I would feel my life force enter areas of my body that were once inhabited by some stuck emotion or other people’s energy or belief system or whatever it was. Then life force would come into my body in a different way, and then I was sold on surrender.”
I had a trusting relationship with my vagina, so I didn’t need a partner anymore. I didn’t need to seek that.
That’s when I got the confidence that I could really do this single, and my creativity kicked in as a result. I said, “What are some creative ways that I can go through this whole process without a cock, without a man, without a physical body between my legs?”
And so I found ways, like little things. “Can I practice fellatio on a cappuccino, with the foam?” And then I’d really get into it.
The thing was, the most important part of surrender and getting to this place was dropping the mental. Stop making it mental. Get out of my head and make it a full sensory experience.
I wanted to feel things in my body, and I started asking myself, “What would it feel like if this warm cup of coffee were a man’s cock in my hands?” And I would really get into it where my physical body was experiencing it as though I actually had a cock, and I would get turned on.
What were some other things? Surrendering.
They just fell into my lap!
KIM: Okay, so you were going deeper into the surrender energy, learning to trust it more. Then you began to see how things were—we call it “This fell into my lap” because our laps attract it. So you began to manifest people, opportunities out of the blue, especially as an artist. That has a reputation for being a challenging way to make a living. So tell us about that.
ONDREA: Understatement, yeah. Again, as I said, I’d been hustling most of my life, sending out promotions for myself and trying to get myself and my work in people’s faces, and writing artist statements to convince them that what I was doing was actually art. And so just letting the art and creative energy do that kind of communication.
KIM: Yes.
ONDREA: I learned the power of attraction and magnetism, of being in my feminine flow, one day when I was in my studio painting. I just needed to be in my bliss.
In the meantime, my dear friend is an art collector whom I’ve helped very much in his processes, collecting art and creating this empire that he has now. I’ve been an integral part of that.
He has this huge art collection now, and SFMOMA wanted to come and see it and put him on the roster of tours. “If you want to see this kind of art, you can tour this person’s home.”
If you remember, I said I had a wallpaper business, and this friend of mine put my wallpaper up and then hung this million-dollar art in front of it. He said, “I want you to come when they’re here for the visit and do a walkthrough of my art collection with them.” In my head, I said, “I’m tired of being in somebody else’s shadow, like of their art collection and what they’re doing and who’s showing up for them.” I said, “I’m going to say no.” In the past, I would’ve said, “Please, please include me. Can I come to Disneyland?”
I was so sick of that and said, “I just really want to paint. I want to be in my bliss. I just really want to do my own thing, even if nobody’s going to see it.”
So I went to my studio and was totally by myself, painting. I was in the flow. I was connected with bliss. I said, “This is the jam; this is all I care about right now.” Then I got a text from him while I was there. “SFMOMA showed up.” While I was painting, I looked at the text, and he said, “They could’ve given a shit about my art collection; all they cared about was the wallpaper, so I sent them your contact information.”
Magnetizing Through the Ethers
I said, “I’m not even there.” I was in my studio, in my bliss, radiating whatever I was radiating, and SFMOMA still found me. It was like I was a tractor beam.
They reached out to me; they asked me to create a wallpaper for their upcoming Matisse exhibit. They never met me—I didn’t have to give a spiel. I didn’t have to hustle. I was just in my bliss.
The importance of bliss; that’s where the magic is, I think.
KIM: I love that story, and that so beautifully exemplifies that idea. Like you said, you’re in your bliss, and that energy is getting broadcast and radiated out into the world. Whatever little glimmer there was for them to connect to it and feel it and then come back to you and find you—I just love that. That speaks to these ideas so well that, as we cultivate that energy in ourselves, it says, “Okay, how do you manifest? How do you create as the feminine? This is how it works.”
ONDREA: That’s exactly how.
KIM: Yeah.
ONDREA: Yeah. And whatever that is, and the creativity for me, I’ve expanded as an artist, more self-realization every day of what that means. For forever, I said it means you produce art and then you show it to people and they buy it and then you’re an artist. But now it’s like, no, I’m living a creative life. I’ve gone through the Well-F**ked Woman creatively. Okay, creative energy. Okay, vagina, the center of my creativity. How do I do this without a partner?
It wasn’t mental; it was inspiration. Something inspiring would just come up. “I’m going to wear this today,” or “I’m going to drink my coffee like this.” It’s an all-day lifestyle of being a Well-F**ked Woman. It’s not just, “Okay, when I’m in my bed, I’m going to do this and then go out in the world and cloak myself and hustle and then come back and try to muster and harvest more energy.” No, this is all-day, every day.
And I tell you, people noticed. Babies stare at me now. Little kids are the ones that are the most like [gasp]. Animals come up to me, women flirt with me and want to touch me, and men have slowed down on the freeway when I look like I just got out of a hurricane and I’m just running errands. They slow down and say [whispering], “You’re beautiful.”
It’s fun. Life has become flirtatious, and I can feel life flirting with me. These opportunities come up. Things show up for me that I’m thinking about, and all of a sudden, it’s in front of me. It could be something as simple as the lunch that I wanted to eat or the project with SFMOMA that I didn’t even know I wanted.
Surrendering to Life
“That’s the beauty of it; it’s blowing me open wider than what my limitations are, and that’s what surrender means to me. What’s beyond this boundary of my skin that I think I am? Show me more; show me what I’m not. Blow my ceiling off.”
Going into this connection with my vagina physically, having a sensory experience, is what’s doing it. It’s incredible.
KIM: I love that expression and command to the universe: Blow my ceiling. Because the ultimate level of surrender is giving it all. Trusting on some level that the universe or divine intelligence or our higher self knows better, the soul-self. If we are willing to give that all up and throw it all into the alchemical cauldron, we will be burned away and, like the phoenix, rise up into a newer, better version of who we are. To me, that is the most beautiful thing about this work; it’s the ultimate tool of transformation and rebirth if we learn how to do this.
ONDREA: Absolutely. It’s all inside of us.
KIM: Tell me more. We talk about how one of the hallmarks, when I know that somebody’s made it through the other side of being well-fucked, is when they don’t give a fuck anymore. They become immune to other people’s advice and opinions.
We talked about this idea that knowledge is power, but there are ways of acquiring that knowledge, like book reading or listening to experts, versus finding it from within. You made this comment, “Your vagina is your physician, your altar, your guru.”
Speak to me about that, the inner sourcing, but also not giving a fuck—because all your fucks are given to yourself.
ONDREA: Exactly. That was my life. I didn’t ever trust myself. It is because I pushed that inner wisdom down in the feminine energy. “No, this is dangerous, actually.” I proved to myself that feminine energy was weak and also dangerous.
KIM: Thinking takes over feeling.
ONDREA: I went all mental. That has been the hardest part in this process, and I’m not perfect yet, by any means, I just cracked the door open.
I was constantly hunting for external guidance. Along with that came really caring what other people thought. Okay. So if I was depending on other people for advice, then I was also depending on them for feedback about how I was doing and did I look okay? Did I say the wrong thing?
As an artist, that’s like suicide. I’ve been in that space of wanting to die because how do I make art that pleases everybody? You can’t; it’s impossible. I would literally curse at my spirit. “Why the fuck did you choose this life for me, because I can’t win?”
I was angry at God; I was angry at my own spirit for not showing me how to do this. I really cared what everybody thought. When you do that long enough, you replace parts of yourself. I replaced parts of myself energetically with other people’s energy. I was filling my body with other people’s energy, other people’s ideas, other people’s beliefs, other people’s expectations. There were pockets in my body that I could feel were bloated, or it felt like I had a boulder on my shoulders or was just not comfortable in my own skin.
I think that was the red flag that I was giving too many fucks away. It was because my body was uncomfortable.
Once I started getting a connection with my inner being, it wasn’t even slow. All of a sudden, I said, “I don’t want to watch another YouTube video about somebody predicting my forecast. I don’t want to read another book about how to be feminine. I don’t want to read another book about what spirituality is.
I don’t want to hand everything over to my doctors and say, ‘Tell me what to do,’ because they’ve been wrong over and over again. I’m a victim to the system.” It’s almost like overnight, I made this switch. “No, I’m taking full responsibility for everything that’s going on with me.”
I know this wisdom in here now is unshakable, and it’s been here the whole time, and I can access it almost like the Akashic records—I mean, it kind of is the Akashic records—anytime I want. I can jump into the quantum field of myself and create the life that I want and acquire wisdom from inside.
And I stopped giving a shit what people think. I stopped worrying about what I was wearing. I stopped depending on doctors. That’s one of the biggest ones for me. I see what life force energy does in my body as far as healing. This is my physician. I have an inner physician, and not only that, but I’m like an alchemist. I’ve had nervous system resets from having orgasms that have, at the snap of a finger, gotten rid of symptoms immediately. Like a shaman. Like a healer. And that’s all me.
You and I can talk about this all day; people are never going to get it from what I have to say, just like I couldn’t get that wisdom from listening to other people. I had to have the experience myself. But so do all of you. That’s why it’s important to get into a program like this, where you are having your own experience and building trust in yourself so that you get to that point where nothing else matters.
All the people that I was hunting for and trying to attract, as soon as I stopped giving a fuck about them—boom—it was like magnets. They’re all interested in me all of a sudden. “What are you doing?” Can’t stop watching as I walk by or want me to come over for dinner or want to come and visit my studio or hire me for things. I’m just sitting here in my bliss.
KIM: Lying there, yeah. Beautiful. Is there anything else that you’d like to add?
ONDREA: The thing that’s coming up for me right now is that this is fun. I can get really serious, which I think I have in this interview, and it is. It can be very serious. But life is fun now. I’m curious what’s around the corner. I enter my day with a lightheartedness.
There’s a buoyancy in life where shit is really funny. I can laugh at myself now about things. For example, I am sitting here topless right now because I started stressing—I’m still human. I’m not in bliss all the time. I have not hit a point of enlightenment. I had my postpartum after doing Well-F**ked Woman, where I went back into an under-fucked state and experienced the contrast of what it feels like not to be in this bliss. That was really important.
I think that’s important for people to hear too. There are going to be dips, and those dips are really important because they made me want it even more. When I didn’t feel like myself, I missed me. I really, truly loved being me, and this self-love grew even more as I dove back in even deeper with even more self-love.
Anyway, right before this interview was another one of those little dips. Yesterday, I said, “What should I wear? Should I dress like a skank? Yeah. No. No, I should be elegant. No. I should be wearing a velvet robe, and I need to sit over here,” and I started being a control freak.
Then I called a friend from the Inner Circle whom I went through this program with, and I said, “Will you help me test Zoom to make sure my WiFi is okay?” It didn’t work where I wanted to sit, and the only place that it worked was in my bed. I said, “Well, that’s ironic. I guess I’m going to sit in my bed and talk to Kim.”
Right before the call, I said, “I can’t stress about this. I’m not even going to wear a shirt.” And so here I am.
KIM: I love it.
ONDREA: But that’s the other point that I’d like to make too—the importance of the connections with other women. That has been huge, being witnessed in this as a single person. I don’t know if it’s the same with people who have a partner, but there’s something very crucial in this process of being witnessed through these transformations and sharing experiences. That’s been one of the biggest things for me, connecting with other women who speak this language.
They’ve filled in the gaps in my life that have happened as a result. A lot of women fell out of my life. I’m not vibrating on that level anymore. We vibrated apart. These other women, who do want to have this conversation, showed up.
Speaking of witnessing self, my vagina wants to be seen, and so yoni gazing has been a really important part of that. Truly, when I put a mirror in front of my vagina and look at her, she starts to tingle, and it’s so important, I think, to witness yourself and to be witnessed. The validation that you get from being seen by yourself and people around you who get it is like exponential growth.
Thank you for providing that too.
KIM: I love that you said that. I think that is so essential. Learning to be vulnerable and intimate, and then having that honored and valued, with people seeing you, appreciating you, and loving you in that state. Whether it’s you loving on your own yoni but then also being in a container full, in this case, of other women, who are going through the same thing and also really caring for and acknowledging each other on these couldn’t-be-deeper levels.
ONDREA: Exactly. It’s really an intimate process that has broken through my fear of intimacy. Now I want that with life in general. I want that intimate connection with everything I do.
KIM: Amazing. Well, thank you, Ondrea; it’s been a pleasure. I am so appreciative of all that you’ve shared and love all of those breakthroughs.
ONDREA: Thank you for creating a platform for this to happen.
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I love it!! I’m on my way as well, yet now I really understood how it works. You showed me so clearly how it really works. Thank you so much! Sonja