Is Your Vibrator Cockblocking Your Sex Life? TRANSCRIPT
Are you into group sex?
Are you having regular threesomes?
Is your girlfriend involved in a secret relationship you just can’t compete with?
You may be a cuckold to your partner’s vibrator.
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In Anami Land, the work and the play are in two parts:
1) Things we remove
and
2) Things we add.
Things we remove, are: crutches, artificial props, excuses. Hiding, dishonesty and half-measures.
Things to add are: openness, vulnerability, fearlessly speaking our truth, uncovering and listening to the deep wisdom of the body and soul.
For women, three of the primary dependencies they’re constantly told and sold—by sexually inexperienced and underfucked doctors and so-called sex experts—to hold onto for dear life are:
Lube
Artificial exogenous hormones
Their trusty vibrators
Suggesting women relinquish their death grip on these crutches is akin to prying the ring out of Gollum’s spastic, demented hands.
My precious!
The problem with vibrators—and why they are cockblocking your sex life.
To be clear on this, there is a difference between a vibrator and a dildo.
A dildo is used for penetration and *may* have vibration, but is usually inert.
A vibrator is made to provide sustained, intense pulsing, designed to deliver a clitoral orgasm—fast.
I say clitoral, because most vibrators are created solely for clitoral stimulation.
As I mentioned, *some* dildos may vibrate, but for the sake of this conversation, we’re speaking strictly about clitoral vibrators.
The main issue with vibrators is that they desensitize the clitoris.
Think about it. You have atomic pressure being applied to your clitoris—an intensity that NO man’s tongue or finger could EVER match.
So what happens? Your vibrator becomes your best buddy.
A finger or tongue pales in comparison.
They won’t feel as pleasurable and they’ll take much longer to bring you over the edge—if they’re even able to at all.
It’s a bit like what happens to people who consume a lot of porn: they need increasingly wild and over-the-edge experiences just to feel anything.
And to get to orgasm.
If you don’t believe me, test it out.
Put down the vibrator for a month—if you can—and then when you pick it up again, see how intense and how much stronger it feels.
However, I am going to suggest ditching it completely.
Forever and ever.
We’ll get to that in a moment.
The second issue with vibrators is that they remove you from connecting your partner—and yourself.
It’s far more intimate to have your partner’s hands or cock inside you that to have a mechanical device buzzing between you.
In fact, I’d even say that using a vibrator during sex is actually avoiding intimacy.
I don’t use the term “cuckold” lightly.
It’s a distraction, a divergence, and a detour away from the two of you feeling into each other’s energy and presence and finding the path that will lead you into coming together.
The vibrator gets in the way of that.
In fact, it prevents it from ever happening.
Vibrators are the ultimate cockblock of a steamy sex life.
So ditch them.
If you’re having sex and you need to reach for your vibrator to “finish the job”, then let me introduce you to a whole other universe you’ve likely never ventured into:
Your Vagina.
Most women are vaginally numb.
They have no idea the pleasure, power and psychedelic transformation that exists within their vaginas.
This is largely due to sources I mentioned before: sexually inexperienced and underf**ked:
doctors
so-called sex experts
and, I’m going to say it: lesbians
Yep. Those in the latter category appear to have a vested interest in arguing for NON-penetrative sex.
I wonder why that is?
I can think of a few so-called lesbian sex experts—and hetero ones— who are ALL about the clitoris.
They go so far as to say that there is no real reason to enter the vagina, and that the clitoris is the be-all end-all.
<Tell me you are chronically underfucked and have never had a vaginal orgasm, without telling me>
Anyway, back to the matter at hand. And cock.
What do you want to focus on instead?
This is where all the power and glory lay.
You’ve likely heard me speak about how deep vaginal orgasms—G-Spot, squirting, and cervical orgasms—are life-changing and necessary medicine for ALL women.
If your vagina feels numb and like a no man’s or no woman’s land, you can change that.
You can bring a lifeless vagina back into its full majesty of wild sensitivity, transcendent orgasms, and as a vessel for alchemy and deep spiritual awakening.
Yes. All this and more!
The best tools you can use to de-numb a vagina and bring it back online are:
1) Yoni massage
You can massage your own yoni, and you ought to spend significant time in that thing and get to know every nook and cranny and fold of skin.
Receiving extended yoni massage from your partner is also a fabulous way to revive sensitivity.
It’s also a beautifully intimate way for you to connect and build trust.
The yoni can hold tension and trauma that prevent you from opening up into these deeper vaginal orgasms.
Releasing it through loving self-touch and partnered massage is a huge gateway to opening to deeper pleasure.
I have some great videos on YouTube on this: Yoni Massage for Orgasms and Self-Healing, which is more solo-focused and
Pussy Shiatsu and How to Give a Blissful Yoni Massage with 15 Steps and Techniques, which better suit couples but also have great info for singles.
The second thing you can do is:
2) Use a Jade Yoni Egg
Using a jade yoni egg is fantastic self-reconnaissance, and the exercises I teach are designed to gradually build up the strength of your vaginal muscles.
This automatically increases your sensitivity and also helps you to OWN and inhabit your vagina.
Numbness = dissociation.
You want to strengthen those muscles, yes, and also that connection so that your yoni becomes an actual voice and GPS in your life.
We have women talk about this all the time: how once they’re turned on and awakened their yonis, they give them direction in life.
Check out the episode: I Make All My Decisions from my Vagina: Season 6, Episode 3.
Our Well-F**ked All Star Amanda shares how her yoni finds lost objects and parking spaces.
And multi-million dollar business deals.
The only time I ever recommend using a vibrator is if you’ve NEVER had a clitoral orgasm before.
In this case, using the extra turbo power of the vibrator may help to wake up sensation here.
I’d still recommend the other avenues I’ve suggested: in-depth yoni massage and the jade yoni egg.
And then once you start having clitoral orgasms, toss the vibrator.
I repeat, toss your vibrator!
You don’t need it. and it will only hold you back.
Even if you are single, it’s still a MUCH better long-term option to be intimately acquainted with your own anatomy via… your own anatomy.
As in, your own fingers and hands.
There’s also something very primal about having your own juices and scent on you.
And on your partner.
The vibrator removes that, by inserting itself into the picture and between you.
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“What Else Can I Use Instead of a Vibrator?”
I’ll briefly say here that I’m all for the use of dildos, especially when you are single.
If coupled, I’d use them in the same way I’ve suggested using a vibrator.
Our Anami Alchemia couture dildos are specially designed for bringing on vaginal orgasms: G-Spot and cervical.
The shape, the size are all perfectly created BY ME and rigorously tested BY ME—and others—for their ability to get you there, as efficiently as possible.
Using these with the aim of reducing steps on that journey OR to pinch hit, meaning the man needs to take a breather at thrusting and brings in La Dildo to take over for a while—is perfectly fine.
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The point is, that in Anami Land, we want to help you build the most intimate truthful, relationship with yourself, your body and your partner.
You create an unspoken language with each other, you learn to communicate without words, but with sensing and feeling and intuition.
You find this when you strip away all of the barriers and interferences:
Physical, emotional and mental.
And you touch each other in the most raw, naked and real of ways.
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For the ultimate on vaginal self-knowledge, check out my Vaginal Kung Fu Salon.
And, to deepen your intimate connection and truly come together, check out my Coming Together for Couples Salon.
You can find information on both of these, plus a free video preview series with exercises you can practice tonight on my Sexual Savant Salons page. You’ll see my full array of offerings in the sex school everyone ought to have had.
