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Energy Sex and Orgasms

Image by Julia Watkins
Look, ma! No hands!

I can have sex with my partner when he’s on the other side of the planet.

Or the other side of the room.

Without touching him.

Or talking to him.

But simply by thinking of him.

I can have a clitoral orgasm.

Or a cervical orgasm.

Or a full-body orgasm.

And doing this, at a distance, is what we call an energy orgasm.

Look ma! No hands!

Or mouths.

Or genitals.

We have the ability to impact our environment and the beings around us with our thoughts and feelings.

So what exactly is an energy orgasm or energy sex? How does it feel? So what are the steps to getting there?

Listen now.

Or download the podcast version and listen on the go:



In the Coming Together for Couples online Salon, I go into more advanced energy sex techniques, as well as my instruction for achieving all the different kinds of orgasms – from cervical in women, to learning to orgasm without ejaculation in men. 

Plus, we do a deep dive into relationship feng shui – all the space clearing I spoke about in the beginning, to allow your energy to flow cleanly. 

And orgasmically. 

Coming Together is now open for registration.

Are you coming??


Energy Sex and Orgasms podcast transcript 

I can have sex with my partner when he’s on the other side of the planet. 

OR the other side of the room. 

Without touching him. 

Or talking to him. 

But simply by thinking of him. 

I can have a clitoral orgasm. 

Or a cervical orgasm. 

Or a full-body orgasm. 

And doing this, at a distance, is what we call an energy orgasm. 

Look ma! No hands! 

Or mouths. 

Or genitals. 

Something we’ve lost sight of over the decades with our increasing reliance on telecommunications and internet technologies to communicate for us, is that we all have the power to move and shape energy. 

We do KNOW these things, but we tend to shrug them off as “coincidence” for the most part. 

Especially in Western culture.

There are other places on the planet, like say Bali, where I spend a lot of time, where the local people still rely on these networks of internal communications. 

And the believe that the unseen realm os always talking to them. 

I know people in Africa who are part of a shared spiritual path. They don’t have phones to get to set up meeting times with each other, and so they do this telepathically. 

As a species, we’ve moved away from developing these things within ourselves, and instead, to outsourcing them to… machines. 

Einstein talked about this phenoneomon. He called it Entanglement Theory (or “Spooky Action at a Distance”), because it “spooked” him, hahah, and it speaks to the idea that 

that particles which are connected continue to affect each other, even when separated by great distances. As in one, could be on earth, and the other could be on the moon, and they would both respond to each other. 

I spoke a few weeks back with Dr. Bruce Lipton on the podcast episode Quantum Love and Healing, and we discussed his experiments showing that “thoughts are things”, especially in the human body. 

What we think, if our thoughts are harmonious and positive vs. negative and destructive has a direct impact on our physical chemistry. Our whole body and being rearranges itself with every thought. 

Amazing stuff. 

Then, Dr. Masuru Emoto of Japan came along and started doing his experiments with water. 

He looked at water particles under an electron microscope, and observed the influence that different causes had on the structure of the water. 

For example. he would start with three glasses of spring water, from the same source. 

One would be labelled love, the other hate, and the other indifference.  

He would have people direct these specific thoughts and feelings at each glass of water. 

Afterwards, he examined the molecular structure again. 

He found that the love water had beautiful, harmonious, snow-lake-like crystalline structures. 

The hate water had mutated, darker, unpleasant forms. 

Interestingly—and this is a great comment on intimate relationships—the indifference water had the most ugly looking particle formations. 

So there you go. 

Indifference kills. 

Thoughts are things. 

We have the ability to impact our environment and the beings around us with our thoughts and feelings. 

Emoto has lots of other similar experiments, including playing different music to water and taking rice and sandwiches and letting them sit for weeks, and direct thoughts at them. 

The same results have been replicated by people all over the world.

They even do this experiments in school classrooms. 


All of this to say, that yes, we can consciously direct our energy. We can give it and receive it and feel it. 

And yes, you can fuck your partner from across the room. 

So what exactly is an energy orgasm or energy sex? How does it feel?? 

Energy sex is the same as touch sex and orgasms, but minus the touch! 

Meaning, I’ve had clitoral orgasms without touch, and cervical orgasms and full-body orgasms. 

I can have them on my own, focusing on my own body and energies, and I can have them through deliberately connecting to my partner, without him being a conscious participant and I can also have them through the two of us focusing on each other simultaneously. 

Sexual energy is a tangible energy. Through the kinds of practices and breathing techniques I show people, you start to have a greater conscious awareness of feelings and movements of sexual energy in the body overall. 

Today we’ll talk about having energy sex with your partner. 

So what are the steps to getting there? 

1) Being connected.
The more connected you are, your bodies, including your internal ones, like your emotional, mental and soul bodies becomes more entwined. It becomes easier to tune into each other at will. 

This is all about clearing the blocks between you, addressing your own personal hurts and traumas, and any unresolved issues in your relationship. 

I always say, there is the work that each of your do on yourselves, and then the work you do on the entity of the two of you as a couple. 

The more you have a free and clear communication and energetic channel opened up between you, then you are more easily able to tune into the TANGIBLE feelings and thoughts that pass back and forth. 

I spoke last week about couples who we can observe as being very in tune; so much so that they complete each other’s thoughts and sentences! There is a beautiful merging, a harmony, that goes beyond their physical bodies. 

I speak a lot about trust and openness and surrender. All of these are necessary for you to have the level of unimpeded flow between you, that you can easily transmit energy back and forth, across countries and continents. 

2) Having extended sex dates.
The longer you have sex for, the more you open up all of your energy channels and meridians. 

It’s the argument for having longer sex dates in general: You have more time to let go of all of the things that float around in your minds, the effluvia of the day and of your lives, and really sink into an undistracted state together. 

3) Deeper orgasms
Energy sex and orgasms are tuning into neural pathways you’ve already opened.

Now you learn to do this at will. 

You already have all these feelings and dimensions within you. Eventually you can access them without touching specific places on your body. 

With the deeper, life-changing orgasms like cervical orgasms, anal orgasms and men learning to have extended, full-body orgasm, yo’ve primed your system to hit these cosmic notes. 

These orgasms are already transcendent and you’ve opened up into this unified field. 

Knowing these places intimately makes it easier to get there just by putting your attention on them. 

Minus any touch. 

4) Breathing together.
One of the fastest ways to sync up your energy fields is through your breath.

Lie together before making love, and after, and breathe in unison. 

Inhale together and exhale together. Aim for a 4-count inhale and a 4-count exhale. 

Breath moves sexual energy throughout the body carrying it to the places it most needs to go for healing and rejuvenation. 

Instead of staying concentrated at the genitals, you recirculate your sexual energy and your whole body becomes orgasmic, rather than just certain parts. 

AS you breathe energy UP your body, you bring it to the crown chakra and beyond, helping you to extend your reach up into the netherworlds and expanding your cosmic awareness.

5) Eye contact.

Windows of the soul!

This is such an overlooked, but highly challenging and powerful tool.

You can’t hold extended eye contact with someone and not show up. 

You are looking deeply into them and they into you. 

This alone can bring you to energy orgasms. 

Eye fucking. 

As you let the truth of your love and desire for each other reflect in your eyes, and allow yourself to be truly seen by your partner, this opening, seeing, accepting is often enough to bring you over the edge on its own. 

A regular practice of holding eye contact in and out of bed, helps to build your connection and trust with each other. 

If the eyes truly are the windows to the soul, then deep eye contact helps you to bypass your human selves, and get right in there to your deeper soul selves. 

6) Other internal energy awareness practices.

Any other disciplines like meditation, yoga, qi gong, martial arts — anything that brings you attention inward and helps you to tune into the flow of energy inside of you. All these things will accelerate your ability to be still, to go inward and to feel what’s really there. 

If you are avoiding yourself, and don’t really like being in your own skin, these things wont’ happen for you. You need to be able to be WITH yourself and whatever is there. If you are playing perpetual hiding and denial games about your life, it won’t happen. 


Let’s put this altogether in a beginner exercise to try. 

1) Lie or sit facing each other. 

2) Sync up your breathing. Aim for a 4-count inhale and a 4-count exhale. 

3) Inhale up your spine and down the front of your body, and do this in unison. 

4) Maintain eye contact. 

5) Do both for at least five minutes.

6) Now you are going to take turns being the giver and the receiver. One of you is going to imagine you are touching your partner, in an area of their body. Could be genitals, could be elsewhere. Really feel into every detail of it. Conjure up their smell and taste, the texture of their skin. Feel them underneath your hands and tongue. Don’t tell them or look at where you are focusing. Keep looking into their eyes. 

7) As the recipient, practice being open and surrendering. If you feel any sensations in your body, place your attention there and feel into them. 

7) Do this for about five minutes, and then switch giver and receiver. 

8) Now share with each other what you felt, and where you were directing your energy. 

How close were you? 


One of my all time favourite poems is by Leonard Cohen. I’ll read you an excerpt from it that beautifully describes this. It’s called “You Have the Lovers”.

In the bed the lovers, slowly and deliberately and silently,

perform the act of love.

Their eyes are closed,

as tightly as if heavy coins of flesh lay on them.

Their lips are bruised with new and old bruises.

Her hair and his beard are hopelessly tangled.

When he puts his mouth against her shoulder

she is uncertain whether her shoulder

has given or received the kiss.

All her flesh is like a mouth.

He carries his fingers along her waist

and feels his own waist caressed.

She holds him closer and his own arms tighten around her.

She kisses the hand beside her her mouth.

It is his hand or her hand, it hardly matters,

there are so many more kisses.

The more you practice all of these things, the more you’ll find that your intimate communication deepens. 

You’ll have a growing intuitive awareness of your partner’s needs, both emotionally and sexually. 

You might find that you are standing in the kitchen, cutting vegetable and you feel a flutter in your clitoris. And you turn around to see your partner staring intensely at you. 

Or, you get a spontaneous erection and then you look over to see your lover has texted you a photo for your eyes only.

It’s all there, in the unified field for you to tap into.


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