TRANSCRIPT – Clitoral Orgasms for Amateurs
In the words of the illustrious Chuck Close: “Clitoral orgasms are for amateurs. The rest of us just get to fucking work.”
Well, he didn’t say that exactly. I’ve adapted the quote for my purposes.
HE said “Inspiration is for amateurs. The rest of us just get to work”.
I gotta be honest with ya.
I am a clit shamer.
Through. And. Through.
I shit on clits.
I write sympathy cards to poor, underfucked so-called sex experts who ply their clitoral orgasm wares.
Over the years, one of my main messages has been the holy grail of vaginal—meaning G-Spot, squirting and in particular—cervical orgasms, are essential good-f**k medicine for all women.
These orgasms are far more pleasurable and powerful than their clitoral counterparts.
You’d be amazed at the range of reactions this sentiment evokes!
Some people are curious:
“The most powerful, pleasurable, life-changing orgasms you could ever have? Tell me more!”
Others are skeptical and have bought into the sexual misinformation out there:
“But “science” has never talked about this!”
And still others are rabidly angry that I would dare to suggest that these orgasms can be had by all.
“NO!” they scream, in their underfucked, whiny voices, “NOT all women can! How can you say that! How can you say that women are capable of such incredible pleasure?
They go ballistic, foaming at the mouth, losing their shit that someone is telling them they can have amazing, life-changing orgasms.
Well, I do dare. And I have been having them for over three decades.
When I say that I’m a “clit shamer”, what I’m really a “shamer” of, is so-called “sex experts”—who apparently know nothing about their own bodies—or those of their female partners—and believe that the clitoris is the be all, end all.
If you are a woman who loves clitoral pleasure, that’s great!
I’m not shaming *you*.
Only the naysayers who hold onto the clitoris with a death grip, refusing to to put it down and explore the holy land of the vagina.
The ones who FIGHT. FOR THE RIGHT. NOT TO ORRRGASM!
The clitoris is a great appetizer, and a warm up.
It can get your juices flowing and prepare you for your journey into the ultimate, alchemical crucible, which is the promised land of the vagina!
But to think that it’s the final destination is sheer sexual ignorance.
If you find a sexual teacher who is a big clitoral advocate and doesn’t speak truth to vaginal pleasure, then….
So why would someone do this? Wouldn’t you at least be curious?
Why would you slam—or not, in this case—the possibility SO HARD? Whey would you FIGHT for the RIGHT not to have ORGASMMM?????
1. Because you are underfucked.
Being underfucked makes you dumb. Your brain doesn’t work very well.
And, if you are only having clitoral orgasms, you ARE underfucked.
2) You’re afraid to go deeper.
You instinctively know that IF you pursue vaginal orgasms, you will die and be reborn.
You will die a thousand—or a million, if you have amazing partners—deaths of your ego and little self and experience the true power of orgasmic enlightenment —that can ONLY be found in your vagina.
So you stick to the superficial, tepid waters of the clitoris.
Think of the symbolism of it.
I often say that the clitoris is the tip of the iceberg.
IT’s 10% of the sexual pleasure and power a woman can experience.
90% of all of the good stuff is IN the vagina.
And when I say power, I mean life-changing, transformation that rebirths you into the most authentic, self-actualized version of yourself, kind of power.
Yes. All that—and more—is found in your vagina.
And once you experience it, you never go back.
In my salons, I have plenty of women—and men, with their partners—who haven’t experienced vaginal orgasms.
I have to tell them: “I need you to put the clitoris down. Slowly back AWAY from the clitoris”.
And show them a better way.
How do I do this?
Here are my top FOUR tips:
1) Yoni massage. Wake up and de-numb vagina.
Some women are afraid to put their fingers into their own vaginas.
That’s how effective this sexual psyop has been—it convinces people that their own bodies are a forbidden zone.
Plus, so many women have sexual trauma that they simply avoid their vaginas.
Getting to know, love and connect with your vagina is an essential first step to achieving the deeper vaginal orgasms.
Yoni massage isn’t the same as self-pleasuring.
With yoni massage, you are taking the time to explore, play, and have the intention to heal and activate vs, just “getting to orgasms”.
If your explorations bring you there, that’s great.
But it’s not the main purpose.
Which is: to explore and get to know every millimeter of your vagina and sexual self.
ALL women suffer from some degree of vaginal numbness.
Part of this is due to unresolved trauma, and some of it is due to women not being taught to properly exercise or pleasure their vaginas, which we’ll get to in a moment.
So they become weak and they atrophy.
This leads to everything from urinary incontinence to POP to low libido.
When your vagina is numb, who wants to have sex? When you can’t even feel anything??
And this is what could also lead you to feeling like there is more point in playing with your clitoris, than to even bother with your vagina.
I get it: what’s the point?
Because it will change your life. That’s the point!
I teach yoni massage in my VKF and Coming Together Salons.
You learn how to map out different regions of the vagina, stimulate acupressure points, release tension and transform your vagina into a sentient, sensitive and orgasmic portal.
2) Jade yoni egg.
Ah yes. A girl’s best friend.
NOTHING beats the jade egg when it comes to the best all-around tool to de-numb, activate, tone, strengthen, build orgasmic sensation, boost libido, restore and increase lubrication, and train for ping pong ball shooting tournaments.
This quote is from Katie, who I’m going to be featuring in her own episode in the near future on healing sexual trauma.
“I’ve tried just about every healing modality there is. And nothing has quantum leaped my healing like Vaginal Kung Fu. Long-standing health issues, traumas, and sexual blocks all resolved as if by magic—the magic of my own vagina.”
Since working with the jade egg, now all the regions of my vagina are awake to sensation, wet, and open. It’s like Kim says—I walk around turned on by/for life.”
As you self-experiment with what feels good, and at the same time you are using a jade egg and yoni massage to feng shui your vagina and awaken it, you’ll come to know your own pleasure zones and what arouses you.
Your turn-on is like a muscle.
You flex it and build it until it gives back to you in its strength and power.
Think of your sexual energy like superfuel.
And your vagina as the charging station.
Full of vital, life-force energy and sparkling with ecstasy.
Every time you self-pleasure you are going to the source to rev up your energy and bathe yourself in bliss.
It’s food. Of the deepest kind.
You train yourself to know that your power and your answers lie within.
4) Clear your blocks.
Everyone has sexual blocks.
Your vagina is the barometer for them.
If you have unresolved issues from the past, they will show up in your bed and in your vagina.
They look like: Low libido, lack of lubrication, difficult periods, PMS and menopause, painful sex or “vagina on lockdown”, urinary incontinence, which as I talked about last week in the episode A Strong Vagina Keeps the Botox Away, is all about energetic leakage.
All of the things I’ve mentioned so far can help you clear your blockages.
And there are e plethora of practices I recommend in all of my salons for this too.
The deeper, vaginal orgasms are a very special kind of barometer.
They only show up when a woman is in full truth and surrender.
Like an offering you bring to the altar.
If you build them, they will come.
If you are holding back, if you are afraid, if you are faking it; they won’t come.
If you are in full-throttled surrender, vulnerability and honesty, they will explode inside of you, rocking you to your core and shaking the foundations of who you are.
You’ll arise like the Phoenix from the flames and ashes as all of the false parts of you fall away, and the most pure and true ones remain.
You emerge as the most authentic version of your deepest self.
A sensual, free, joyous, ecstasy-filled, hip-swaying, I-can-handle-anything-because- I’m-unstoppable, force-of-nature.
THAT’S what vaginal orgasms give you.
If you aren’t ready for that and you don’t want it, you can stay in the kiddie pool of the clitoris.
Or you can dive into the wide open expanse of the wild, tempestuous, powerful sea-of-life that is your vagina.
In today’s all star segment, we’re featuring a selection of well-fucked, vaginal superstars.
They all beautifully articulate their journeys and transformations. Via their vaginas.
We have Sarah and Mara.
ALL STAR INTERVIEW: SARAH
SARAH: Exactly. You said it right. It was so frustrating, too, because in my mind, I’m thinking, well, if God made me that way—I’m a female. What am I supposed to do?
And I found this in a lot of my own sisters, too, where they hated it as well. Then I found out my friends hated being women as well; man, this sucks. What do we do about it?
It’s funny because even though I’m not religious, I am still spiritual and I do believe in God. I thought, All right, you know what? I’m just going to pray and ask God, because this loathing was carrying into other areas of my life. I hated dating. I hated opening myself up because I just didn’t feel comfortable in my own skin, which was really sad.
I remember praying: “God, angels, universe, whoever, can you help me out here? I hate feeling this way. Please send me something to help me feel better, to help me help myself.”
And literally the next day, this girl who I was following on Facebook said, “Oh my God, you guys need to check out this woman. She’s lifting a surfboard with her vagina.” This was back in 2014 or 2015 or something. I thought, Wait, what? And I clicked on it and I thought, Oh my God, that’s amazing. I thought it was the coolest thing ever. I was a little bit freaked out. Not in a bad way, but just kind of like, Wait, how is she doing that? It was more of a curiosity thing. I went to your website and just gorged on all your material. And then I discovered, “Oh, she has this salon!” And I consumed as much of your content as I could and then enrolled in your class, G-Spot Ecstasy.
It was really powerful for me, but then I realized I needed deeper work. I needed a complete rewiring and reprogramming of my subconscious mind, my body, everything.
KIM: Just so people understand, the G-Spot Ecstasy is a four-week, do-it-yourself, focusing-on-the G-spot program. And then you’re going to talk about Vaginal Kung Fu as the deeper, longer, more in-depth study.
SARAH: Exactly. G-Spot Ecstasy was amazing, but I knew I needed more groundwork because of my past, so I enrolled in Vaginal Kung Fu. I learned about jade eggs and lifting things with my vagina and all this crazy stuff and I healed so much. So, so, so, so much.
Then, right after taking Vaginal Kung Fu, I thought, Okay, I want to take The Well-F**ked Woman, because I felt like it was Part 1 and Part 2.
KIM: Yes, yes.
SARAH: It was honestly, Kim, the sex education I never had, that I always needed, and it just completely changed my life. I can see that, hand on heart.
At the time, I had a boyfriend. We’re no longer together; it’s been a couple years. But I told him about all these different ways that a woman could orgasm, because I thought you could only orgasm through your clit and that was it.
KIM: Right. That’s most people’s perception, yeah.
SARAH: Right! Yeah. My boyfriend at the time said, “No, actually you can have things called G-spot orgasms.” I said, “What? [Laughs] What are you talking about?” He said, “Yeah, I’ll show you.” And I said, “Oh okay. I didn’t know you could do this.” Then I thought, Oh, I need a man to do it, right? But then your work counteracted that and said, “No, you can have a man, or you can also do it by yourself.”
We started slow and worked up to G-spot orgasms and then my first cervical orgasm, I had with him. Funnily enough, a few weeks later, we ended up breaking up, and I remember thinking, Oh no, can I no longer have these? Because I’m not dating him again.
But then I just kept going back to your salon and I said, “Well, Kim says that she can have them when someone touches her arm, so if she can do that, I know I can. I know I can.” I just kept telling myself—and I know it might sound a little crazy—but I told myself, “I am a multiorgasmic woman! I am a well-fucked woman!” I literally said it to myself over and over and there’s so much power in your mind, because if you train your mind to believe something, your body will follow.
KIM: Vaginal orgasmic affirmations.
SARAH: Exactly. And then I would tell myself over and over again, “I have a woke-as-fuck vagina.”
KIM: A woke-as-fuck vagina. That’s such an awesome one. I love it.
SARAH: Exactly. I just kept telling myself that following your salon, just doing everything you said, and I said, “She’s right. She was right.” And then I started having cervical orgasms on my own and it was in that moment, even though I was grieving the heartbreak of this person, that we were no longer together, I knew I was going to be okay. Because I could have a lovely orgasm, but I also felt healed. I felt like I had access to something that I didn’t have before.
I honestly feel, in a way, closer to God. I said, “Wow, he didn’t make this to be bad; he made this to be pleasurable. I wouldn’t have the capability to do that if it wasn’t in me.” It just completely changed my life, so thank you. [Laughs]
KIM: Well, that’s amazing and I love that you liken it to being a spiritual experience because that was my own journey from the very beginning. Having my first cervical orgasm was actually the first orgasm I ever had.
SARAH: Oh wow.
KIM: It was a feeling like I was in this transcendent, ecstatic, super, all-is-one kind of place. That’s how we describe them as being these super powerful, connectors. The idea, at least in Taoist sexology, is the cervix, the point there is connected to the vagus nerve, which goes all the way up to the crown chakra and is often referred to as the spiritual nerve of the body. When we activate that energy, it goes all the way up to the crown chakra through the heart, so it helps to open the heart—we also need an open heart—and then it really just explodes out where we attain this sense of enlightenment from these orgasms. That’s why I say that these are some of the most powerful, self-actualizing, and personal growth tools that women have available to them and they only make us better people.
If women aren’t having cervical orgasms, I’d say they’re operating at a deficiency because they don’t have this extremely powerful tool and shortcut to these wild, amazing, higher-level places in themselves.
SARAH: Absolutely. For me it was the most powerful tool I had for personal transformation and spiritual evolution because not only did it heal me from the inside, but also the outside. That’s, I think, what your work is based on. You can’t sugarcoat stuff. You can’t just treat a symptom. We’re going to the root of the issues here and cervical orgasms, at least in my experience, amplify your life and all the good things. But then it’s also almost like dusting off these old cobwebs and dirty files that you haven’t really looked at and it causes you to go deeper and deeper and deeper. Like you said, it’s a self-actualizing tool that is just completely transformational.
KIM: Beautifully said. Yeah, I look at them as ways that I’ve worked through trauma and processing over the years, like you said, to process even your breakup. They’re really good at going through acute situations. We take our grief, our stress, our unresolved trauma, into the vagina, and it works as this alchemical cauldron to transform it into power, into bliss, into wisdom. We also are able to release these things. One of the hallmarks of cervical orgasms is having sometimes deep, guttural, crying tears that we often don’t know the source of, and we don’t need to know the source of. All we need to do is follow that trail into that feeling and then allow it to overtake us and move through us.
It’s this incredibly deep portal and vessel for transformation if we are able to go there. I think another really pivotal piece of getting to cervical orgasm is courage. Because when you’re standing at this abyss of emotion or unknown, you have to keep going. A lot of women maybe come up to this place in themselves and they feel some kind of fear or there’s a giant abyss and so they pause, and they contract, and they hold back and don’t go there.
I think the real price of admission is the sense of courage and continuing to open and trust and fall. I think that cervical orgasms are so much like spiritual experiences because they’re the same concept of opening to a power, opening to an energy greater than you. Whatever your spiritual belief system is, whether it’s a traditional religion or you just have a spiritual concept of life, you’re opening, “Thy will be done.” This energy, this presence, has some kind of greater knowledge and wisdom than us and we open to that.
That’s the same thing with the trust and the orgasm. In God and orgasm, we trust. [Laughs]
SARAH: Amen to that. I love what you said about it taking courage because I’m fascinated by words and languages. The Latin word for courage is “cor” and it means the heart. That’s what I felt cervical orgasms did for me because they opened up my heart. Just opened and opened it and opened it and that’s, I think, part of the formula to having them; you have to have an open heart and they can help you open your heart.
After my boyfriend and I broke up—I was really in love with that guy. I was the best girlfriend I could’ve ever been. My friends, after we broke up, said, “Oh well, just go date another guy.” I decided, No, I’m not going to get under someone to get over somebody else. I need to process this. I need to get through it.
He took that route, and then never dealt with the hurt and the pain of it and is apparently still dealing with that. Whereas I feel completely healed of it, stronger than before.
One of the greatest tools you can have, if you’re going through heartbreak, is to have a cervical orgasm or attend Kim’s salon, everyone, so that you can learn how to have them, and you’ll be just fine. They’re the ultimate heartbreak healer.
KIM: Yes. Can you describe for us how cervical orgasms feel to you? Physically, emotionally, spiritually. You’ve touched a bit on the spiritual element, but how do they also feel in these other realms?
SARAH: Sure, yeah. It’s kind of interesting because I remember when I first learned that they were even possible. I didn’t even know I had a cervix until I was19 or 20 years old, because all I was taught was I had a vagina.
SARAH: I didn’t know anything, any anatomy. For me, physically, they’re nothing like a clitoral orgasm, nothing. Clitoral orgasms kind of remind me of when you walk up a little 15-foot ledge and then you jump off a 10-foot waterfall. It’s like, “Whew!” And then it’s done—goodbye.
Whereas a cervical orgasm, to me, feels like you’re just going further and deeper and deeper. You’re vibrating and it’s consuming, it’s powerful, and it spreads throughout the entire body. It’s this orgasmic, spiritual, enlightening, intense, but also safe, in a way, climax. It lasts longer for me. I’ve had them last for hours at times. Not every single time, but they’re definitely something that you feel throughout your entire body. You get this incredible massage and spiritual tune-up, and you just let out all these tears of emotion and you don’t even know what you’re crying about.
It just feels incredible. I’ve never had anything like it, so it’s kind of hard to compare it to something else, because it’s not like anything else. Every time I have one, I feel healed. I feel like everything is going to be okay and everything is safe. But it’s not like a clitoral orgasm where it’s centrally located to the vagina. It’s literally inside out, every fiber of your being—your hair, your eyelashes, everything.
[Laughs] Does that make sense?
KIM: [Laughs] Yeah. I love it. In some ways it’s hard to describe it physically because it is physical, but to me, it’s always felt mostly spiritual, like an energetic. Yes, there’s physical pleasure. If you take a clitoral orgasm and spread it throughout your entire body, there’s a sense of it being a full-body orgasm, but what’s even stronger than that is more like what you said—waves of bliss and pleasure, but with a sense of serenity and deep faith in the world. As you just said, everything is safe and everything is going to be okay. It’s like having the most open, full heart you’ve ever had, multiplied by 10, and spread out all over your whole body. Like you said, every cell. You’re just existing on this different plane. I remember going out into the world after some of those early experiences and feeling like I was floating or I was in this divine absolute trust and faith. Every iota of circumstances in the world was lining up in a divine spiritual way and I had insight into that, and utter faith in life.
KIM: That’s versus the anxiety, scurrying kind of mentality or way of being that many people, I think, exist in. It’s very different, you know? That, to me, is the most powerful part of it. That’s why I’ve always downplayed the importance of clitoral orgasms because it’s a quick hit, and then a drop and it’s over. I’ve never really felt they contribute to my betterment as a person or the betterment of my life.
Because I was fortunate to have had cervical orgasms so early on, that was my template. “This is what sex is; this is what orgasms are.” It wasn’t until a few years later I even experienced a clitoral orgasm. I said, “Well, this is fun, but this isn’t really an orgasm.” [Laughs]
KIM: They’re good for a kick, but that isn’t really what orgasms are all about.
SARAH: Yeah. I think clitoral orgasms are good for when you go and visit in-laws and family members who are kind of annoying. I don’t do drugs or drink or anything, so I think, Okay, I’m not going to go smoke a cigarette. Let me go to the bathroom and touch my clit for a minute. Now I have a little bit of a way to mentally process being around these annoying people.
But that’s what they’re good for, in my opinion.
KIM: I use them for my coffee breaks. I talk about stimulating the clitoris, similar to what you’re saying, to get a burst of energy, to get a hit. I don’t do coffee, I do orgasms. I’ll go and stimulate myself to get this sense of pleasure and bliss and rejuvenation, but it’s not the deep, life-changing version that vaginal orgasms—and especially cervical orgasms—give a person.
KIM: There’s a time and a place, but to me, the real pursuit, the real holy grail is cervical orgasms.
ALL STAR INTERVIEW: MARA
I think I’ll start from the beginning. My husband and I would get into these fights. I’d say, “I’m not satisfied,” and he would say, “Well, I don’t know how to satisfy you. What do you want?” And I would say, “Well, I don’t know.”
I did not know what I needed. I would have clitoral orgasms with a vibrator only during intercourse and I thought that was it.
I don’t even know how I came across your course. It was divine intervention, I’m sure, because I don’t remember googling anything about sex, but I found your page and said, “I need to do this.”
I’d never heard of cervical orgasms before. I thought a G-spot was a myth, honestly. In the beginning of your course, I was afraid to even touch myself. Your daily self-pleasure challenge was a “Hell no” for me. I said, “Yeah, that’s not happening. I can’t even…”
So I started just massaging my legs and my arms and my belly and my butt. I did this every day, and I said, “This I can do. I can do this every day.”
Then, when I finally was able to get attention to my vagina, I said, “Oh my God, it’s numb! It’s completely numb. I have no feeling there.”
Once I realized what was going on, I said, “All right, babe, we’ve got to have lots of sex.” So we got to work. I had just had my baby. When I committed to it, he was four days old. I wrote an email to one of your staff and said, “Hey, I just had a baby, and my doctor says I shouldn’t have sex, but I feel like I want to.” [Laughs] Someone responded and said, “If you’re feeling good, go ahead,” and so I did. And I didn’t look back from there. It was just lots of practice and un-numbing my vagina.
He’s starting to get older now, five months, and so when we’re in the throes of passionate sex, I’m making loud noises, and he kind of gets scared. I said, “Maybe we need to get a babysitter or plan these sex dates out a little more,” whereas before, we would just plow through. “Baby’s awake? Let’s just keep going.”
Yes, it was pretty exciting. I did not know what to expect because I didn’t know what a cervical orgasm was. I was sobbing, and he said, “Are you okay?” I said, “I think so!” And then I just sobbed for 20 minutes and it was amazing. I was changed.
Because I knew that after we had sex, my baby blues would go away. I knew that after we had sex, I could still make it through the rest of the day for my four older kids on two hours of sleep. No problem. It would energize me; it would make me feel happy. I had all the patience in the world.
I need to mention, I had a cervical prolapse after my fourth child and they said, “At some point you’re going to need to get this fixed,” and it’s fixed already. [Laughs] We’re good! It’s all good. My doctor said, “Oh! This is not a thing anymore.” I said, “No, it’s not.”
He said, “Have you been going to pelvic floor therapy?” I said, “Well, sort of. I’ve been doing jade egg practices; I’ve been having a lot of orgasms. Just strengthening my pussy, basically.” I would definitely attribute it to that.
All of this work that I’ve been doing sexually and personally has transferred into my daily life. I just opened a bakery, and it’s becoming very successful. I’ve started hosting monthly women circles and having really great results with that. These are things that I never had the drive to do before and I never thought, especially with children, that I had the time and energy to do. But I hosted my first big bakery event when my baby was a week old. Who does that!
I said, “Let’s do this!” I made a hundred cinnamon rolls, and we had a great time, and everybody said, “I can’t believe you’re doing this.” And I said, “Oh yeah, that’s right; this is not normal.” And it’s because I was having orgasms. I have the energy, and so I’m going to use that energy to do what I want to do. It’s fantastic.
The more strides that you can take in your sex life, the more it’s a super pussy. When you have a super pussy and you’re willing to put in this work and go farther than you’ve ever gone before, it translates into your life. I’m making leaps and bounds in things that I’ve been afraid to do my entire life.
Go figure. But the nights that we get two hours of sleep, we’re doing okay, actually. We look at each other kind of in disbelief. Was it really the sex that we had last night? Maybe. [Laughs] Yeah. It’s pretty great.
Probably a few weeks ago, I said, “Honey, I need sex basically all the time.” And he said, “I just can’t keep up with you.” I said, “I’m kind of frustrated.” And he said, “Well, I don’t know what else to do.” I started to realize what was going on with me. Why am I hungry all the time? Why am I never satisfied?
But then I started tuning into my pussy and realizing that she’s throbbing constantly. She’s just awake, alive, and hungry all of the time. I said, “Well, I don’t necessarily need sex all of the time.”
I started breathing in that energy as you teach us to do and using it toward creativity, toward other things, and it’s really funny; it kind of calms down that frustration and that intense, all-the-time drive, realizing that this is what it feels like to have a turned-on pussy all the time. “I am driving down the street. I’m at a grocery store.” Is there something wrong with me? No, this is just what it feels like. I’m really getting used to that feeling, and it’s wonderful to feel turned on all the time.
This has completely changed the way I do everything in my life. Finding that depth in myself has awakened this desire to find depth in everything that I do, whether it be my relationship with my children or any project that I take on, my relationship with my husband, and especially my relationship with myself and my own body. My yoga practice has become so much deeper.
I found more progress at a quicker pace with my yoga practice and with my exercise as well, just because I’m able to go deeper. And my relationship with my kids has never been better. I have stories over the last few months about my kids as well, with them opening up to me and us having incredible experiences. It has changed the way that I do everything, and it’s incredible.
How inspiring are these all stars???
I LOVE the way they talk about their cervical orgasms and how they act as these alchemical transformers, elevating not only their sex lives, but every part of who they are.
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