Cock Cured My Depression – Transcript
Cock cured my depression. Cock is medicine. Sex is medicine. I have long spoken about the healing benefits of cock. From some of my earliest encounters, I experienced everything from addiction cures and weight loss to aches and pains disappearing. In fact, I would say that the missing healing force in all of modern health is exactly this.
But not just any cock or any sex. We are talking high-caliber, high-performing cocks full of love. Well-occupied cock that knows who it is and what it’s here to do.
Cock that obliterates a woman and slays all of her demons until the next day, when it gets to do it all over again. But that’s okay. That’s a great reason to get married and live together, to perpetually fuck each other into oblivion.
When a woman has her first healing by cock, it changes her forever. Now she knows of the magical, mystical power of cock. She knows what happens when the great cosmic plug-in happens, both people charge each other up, and she is forever smitten.
Over the years of the podcast and all the content that I’ve made, we have featured hundreds of stories of women being healed by cock and men being healed by pussy. That is what we are meant to do: Heal each other.
We only unlock that otherworldly power when we are in deep, surrendered, trusting union with each other. When we go all in and open ourselves up, that’s when all these cosmic superpowers can flow through us. Only then.
There’s another phrase I like to use to describe this phenomenon: Fuck them until you change them. As a lover, it is your duty to fuck your partner open. To penetrate them, man or woman, so deeply that they forget who they are. They drop all the preconceived, civilized notions of what they are in this world, and a truer, deeper, more real, and powerful version of themselves rises to the surface.
If you have finished making love with your partner and they aren’t glowing, if they aren’t looking at you like you are some messiah/god, then you have further to go.
Of all the years, about 30, and all the different techniques, a shit-ton, that I have experienced over the years, none have changed me so quickly, so profoundly, and so permanently as a really good fucking. Fucking replaces addictive behaviors, loses weight, turns anger into patience, and depression into action.
It’s all possible, and it just happens. I speak to my clients, and I know from my own experiences that the stuff they have struggled with and applied so much willpower to, with no success, and tried so hard to fix with their minds and their best efforts, all fell flat until they got well-fucked.
In today’s episode, we are speaking with our amazing Well-F**ked All Star, Keisha. I love her story. She shares really openly about the impact of being an under-fucked woman, or as she calls it, a raging bitch, and how she interacted with her husband and was about to start taking antidepressants. Then she and her husband dove into this work, and she never opened the bottle.
Such is the power of good-fuck medicine.
***Cock Cured My Depression Well-F**ked All Star Interview***
KIM: Welcome, Keisha!
KEISHA: Thank you, Kim.
KIM: You’re so radiant; you already look like such a Well-F**ked Woman.
KEISHA: I definitely am now, that’s for sure. I feel like it has changed my skin, to be honest. It was a little more dull.
KIM: You’re glowing!
KEISHA: And I think I had more acne before we got here.
KIM: Yeah, this is what I’d love to hear about, the before and the after. Before becoming well-fucked, what were things like for you in your life, in your relationship, and then after, how have they changed?
KEISHA: I’m sad to admit this, but before I was a raging bitch, and I’m sad about that, because I used to be this happy, flitting-about person. But then marriage, and two kids later, and I realized I was just constantly nagging my husband. Now I see it, but before, I was like, “Come on, come on, come on,” poke, poke, poke. It’s like, “No wonder he didn’t want to hook up with you! He doesn’t want to have sex with you because I wouldn’t want to have sex with you if I were a man. I’d be like, ‘Dude, you ride me from the minute I walk through the door until I exit the door again.’”
I didn’t see it, but I loved that in your class, you had us take accountability for once. Because all I was doing was finger-pointing and playing the victim, and “Who wouldn’t want to have sex with me? Come on, blah, blah, blah.” [Laughs] Which sounds conceited and messed up, whatever.
I try to take care of myself, and physical appearance isn’t everything, but I did try to present myself in a certain way. And I thought, “Come on, what’s your problem?” I realized, “Dude, you’re a ballbuster and completely emasculating. A control freak.” I couldn’t let anything go.
That’s probably the biggest change; before, I was a nightmare. I felt so bad for my husband. God bless him, he stayed with me, and he went through this process with me, and he’s so grateful because now, if I even go into that realm, he’ll check me. “Stop, no, you’re not going to talk to me like that.” And I’ll say, “Oh! What?”
When you’re not in it, that sounds like, “What? Your man is checking you?” But it’s so what I needed to just let go and stay in my feminine energy and realize, “Okay, yeah, I’m not going to talk to him like that.” He’s the man of this house. I respect him, A, and, B, I don’t want to cause this unnecessary drama for nothing.
KIM: Well, don’t you think that when women are acting out that way and testing their men, they’re actually looking for a reaction? They’re looking to be subdued. They’re looking for their man to stand up and say, “Yo, bitch, get your shit together. This is not acceptable here.”
The woman isn’t wanting the man to say, “Oh” [cringing] and scurry away and hide in the corner. That enrages her even more.
KEISHA: Exactly. The more that he said, “Okay, we’ll just do what you want,” the more I would just feel my eyebrows catching on fire! “What? Do what I want? Somebody needs to check me; otherwise, I’m going to go out of control.” And I was out of control, in my opinion.
KIM: So you said that he’ll check you. What’s the other thing he’ll do when you’re starting to ramp up?
KEISHA: Oh, he knows it’s on in the bedroom. “I’m literally going to have sex with you until the crazy person who was just in the kitchen is gone. She’s obliterated, and you’re back into a blissful, peaceful, ‘Oh, I love you’ state of mind.” [Laughs]
It just happened two days ago. He said, “You’re acting insane, so we’re going to have sex until you come multiple times and are not acting this way anymore.” I said, “I didn’t know you had a mission with this tonight.” He said, “You were on edge.”
KIM: You were asking for it. You were asking for it, really. Even if you’re not conscious of it. I have this expression I use, “Fuck them until you change them,” which seems to describe when you’re in that state of being all over the place emotionally, out of balance, and you need to have, like your partner said, enough sex until you fuck the crazy out or fuck the imbalance out and get back to a state of equilibrium and bliss, which is our natural state.
KEISHA: You literally feel like a different person. It’s not just talk. At the end, you think, “I seriously don’t care. Whatever I was whining about 20 minutes, 40 minutes, an hour, yesterday, three days ago, I literally don’t care. I don’t even remember what I was complaining about.”
KIM: Sometimes I think the whining, the complaining, or the nagging is really just a cry for that level of connection, a distorted one. Instead of, “I really need you to come and pound me doggie style for an hour,” it’s, “If I push up against you, will you hold firm? And then will you bring me that energy? Because I need that energy to help reconcile what I have going on inside of me.”
KEISHA: It really is, and it makes you feel so safe as a woman to bring all your ugly, whatever you’re feeling. Because I feel like we think so many thoughts and we’re planning, and we’re big picture. But it helps to just bring you back into your body, and also, you feel so supported and safe and loved and seen. Yeah, they’re going to catch you no matter how ugly you get. It’s fine; you can reset and start over. It’s just so nice now.
KIM: How did you get into the work? If you were in this place of feeling this angst—you’ve even mentioned depression, which we’ll talk about—how did you come into the work? Did you find it? Your partner found it?
KEISHA: I think I was late-night Google-searching in the corner—
KIM: “Why am I a crazy bitch?”
KEISHA: I love my husband. I think he is just a yummy snack. We had an instant attraction when we met. I just wanted to climb right on him. I still feel that way to this day, and I’ve never stopped feeling that way, but like the mess of life, I feel like societal norms tell us, “Oh, you’re married. You’ll have sex, and then you have kids, and yeah, you’ll have sex.”
KIM: Next year. [Laughs]
KEISHA: Yeah. Carve out some time when you’re not tired and all this stuff that we really did buy into. As much as I think we were in a conscious, monogamous relationship, maybe not as much as we are now, with some parameters and what our goals are, we did consciously choose each other, and we solidified that early on.
But we did fall into what society defines as a marriage instead of what we wanted out of our marriage, and we just let sex become a thing that we did once in a while. It was twice a month. I was counting because, hello, “Dude, come on!” I get it. I wasn’t in the best of shape because we’d just had our second kid, and I was going through a serious depressive episode. It wasn’t related to my child, but I had acne and then I got on birth control. It was a whole big thing.
Next thing you know, the birth control sent me into the depths of hell. I was so depressed; I could not get out of it. I’d never experienced that before in my life, and I thought, “Oh my gosh, it feels like nothing I am doing can get me out of this.” I still wanted to have sex with my partner, but I’m sure he thought, “Are you in a place for any of this right now? [Laughs] You’re unwell.”
I was late-night Google-searching “how to have sex with your husband” or “how to make your husband want to have sex with you,” and I found your podcast and your page randomly through all the algorithm shenanigans. So I started listening. I said, “What is she talking about?” First of all, a three-hour sex date?
I think our sex date was five, ten minutes. We were in and out now. We both knew what each other liked; we were just doing the usual positions. I had my little vibrator, and she was my best friend. My husband would even encourage bringing her in. He’d say, “Grab your vibrator; let’s go.” I’d have a little clitoral orgasm, and I’d be so happy too. “Yes! Yes! We did it!” Then off to bed. “Sayonara! I’ll see you in two to four weeks.”
It sounds so crazy now, but that was our reality. That was the real thing we were in. Then I was listening to this podcast. We were driving on a long trip to California. We live in Utah. I said, “Let’s just listen to this podcast together. Okay?”
And so I put on your podcast, and he said, “A three-hour sex date! Is this real?” I said, “This isn’t the only couple she has on here. She literally has hundreds of people with these testimonies. This is not a fluke.” He said, “Hmm, I don’t know.” And at that point, I said, “I’m doing Well-F**ked Woman next summer.” Because it was already August, so that session was over. I was texting my sister and saying, “We’re doing it. We’re doing Well-F**ked Woman. We’re not going to live like this. Come on, it’s a revolution.” She said, “What are you even talking about?” I said, “This class will change your life.”
Then I saw that you had the Jade Egg Salonette, and I thought maybe I should start there first. That was something I could do in the present moment and get started on some work while I was waiting for Well-F**ked Woman.
I did the Jade Egg Salonette. The thing is like an egg you crack for breakfast, and it’s heavy, and you can feel the weight to it. I put that thing in, and I could not feel it. I remember I was doing the exercises, and my husband was lying next to me, and I said, “You saw that thing I just pulled out. I cannot feel that at all. What? I’m numb. This is crazy.”
And so I just kept on with the jade egg work, thinking, “I hope I’m doing something down there,” because I couldn’t really tell at first. Until slowly, I realized, “Babe, I can feel it. I can feel it. I can feel this section. I think I’m getting stronger.” There was all this stuff as I was going through the salonette until I felt like I really had some articulation down there and strength, and I could feel my actual insides awakening instead of, “What was I doing before?” It’s crazy, but it’s true.
Then, after I did the Salonette, I saw that the next class after Vaginal Kung Fu was Coming Together. I said, “This is a two-for-one, and Dan’s in on the journey.” So I thought, “If I do all this awesome work, but he is just the same, it’s fine, but it’s not going to get us where I’m trying to go.” So I said, “Let’s get on board. This is better than therapy, but it’s like therapy. So why don’t we do this instead and put that money that we probably would’ve ended up in counseling toward this?” And he said, “Okay, yeah.”
And at that point, I had had a huge depressive episode, gone to the doctor, been diagnosed with moderate depression, had a prescription for Zoloft in my hand, and I said, “I really don’t want to get on antidepressants. Let’s try this class first. If it doesn’t work, I’ll take the pills.” But we didn’t have to go the pharmaceutical route. I’m just not into taking Big Pharma’s medicine. That’s neither here nor there, but it’s just who I am.
KIM: Yeah, I hear you.
And did you get that idea from other parts of my work, when I’ve talked about the different kinds of healings that people have had, or was that your own intuitive sense that maybe this could help? Or both?
KEISHA: Yeah. I hadn’t heard anybody say, “Oh, it cured my depression,” but I just thought if you’re going in and you’re healing all these traumas—people were sharing that it literally healed trauma. Clearly, this depression for me was similar in a sense; I couldn’t get out of it. Nothing had worked. My parents had tried helping. Everyone had offered me a helping hand. I lived in a great community, and I just felt like my ceiling was still in the basement.
I just felt like maybe it would work, and I was longing for that connection with my partner, so I thought maybe that would also pick things up.
KIM: So both you guys committed to going on the Coming Together journey. What happened then?
KEISHA: First of all, we said, “It has a 100% money-back guarantee, so if worse comes to worse, if nothing changes, we just get our money back, and we’re right where we were. I take the Zoloft. It is what it is.” And then we just said, “But if we’re going to do that, we have to do the whole class all the way through, every assignment, everything she tells us to do, and take it really seriously.”
My husband is a loyal guy, so if he signs up for something, he is committed. I said, “Okay, let’s do it.”
And those first few weeks were intense. You’re working through stuff that you didn’t even know you needed to work through that you’re dredging up. We’d been together seven years when we started the class, and it was seven years’ worth of stuff swept under the rug or pushed around the corner, shoved in a closet. And if you want it to work, you have to go in and dig it all out and say, “By the way, this dust bunny over here …” [Laughs]
There was stuff that we were diving deep into that we’d never talked about in seven years. Once those first three weeks of digging and mucking through and clearing your glass were over, we were sailing. It was this whole next level of a relationship being born, and it felt so good. I knew we were on the next track.
I wasn’t even feeling depressed by then, just from us getting rid of all that baggage we both had that we needed to talk through. It doesn’t have to be deep stuff, but you don’t realize every little thing that you don’t say to your partner in a moment, for whatever reason. I don’t know if you’re afraid of hurting their feelings, but your partner is a grown-up and can handle the truth. That makes so much sense now. But at the time, it was like, “I don’t want to hurt your feelings. Fine, I’ll just sit here in resentment instead.”
KIM: Right. That’s more of a sanctioned approach, I would say, at least in North American culture, this idea of tacit acceptance. Don’t ask/don’t tell. Better to white lie. There isn’t a value on radical honesty.
A former partner of mine was Italian, and he would talk about how everybody would just yell and scream and get everything out and then just be laughing five minutes later and sitting down for dinner, with everything gone. They just get it all out in the moment and move on. But that’s not the value of every culture.
And I was thinking as you were speaking about the notion that depression is really stagnant energy. It’s things that have become repressed and suppressed. Once you mobilize them, you can often lift the depression. Sexual energy is a major thing, so that can be emotions and unresolved issues; the way you described you and your partner dealing with all these dust bunnies or cardboard boxes or old furniture, whatever gets gathered up in the space. But even stuck sexual energy becomes a huge piece of immobilization, disease, and energy that eventually manifests in these physical depression symptoms in the body.
KEISHA: Which makes sense now that I’m on the other side. When you’re in it, you can’t see anything, to be honest.
KIM: Yeah. And you don’t know what you don’t know. If you’ve never really made that connection, or thought about it—like when you went to your doctor to talk about depression, I’m doubting they did anything but write you a prescription, rather than ask you about any things in your life you hadn’t dealt with that had been building up for you. “Are there any issues in your intimate relationship?” I highly doubt that conversation happened in the three-minute allocation you had. Just enough time for them to take a box and get out their prescription pad, which is probably half the length of the appointment; that’s how long it takes them to write the prescription on a piece of paper. [Laughs]
KEISHA: Absolutely, yeah.
KIM: Yeah. So within weeks, which is really exciting and amazing to hear, you were already feeling better and like these symptoms were lifting for you.
KEISHA: Yep. And we just kept with it. You also had everyone go sober for the full ten weeks, which we loved.
KIM: Well, I suggest it. I say that I believe the work is going to be much deeper and more effective if you abstain. People are free to do what they want, but yeah, that is my recommendation.
KEISHA: We took all the recommendations to heart, so we said, “We’re staying sober for ten weeks. Let’s do this.” And yeah, we just felt so close. Both of us felt uplifted. As we went through the class, our minds were blown; the class was amazing, and the therapies that were woven throughout were helping dig up things that I didn’t know I was sitting with and allowing them to stay in my space.
I’m still working on the full surrender idea because it’s a big one. I realize it’s in every facet of life, just surrendering to the universe, basically. The universe is well and coming into grace with everyday happenings. I met a lot of resistance when I added children into the picture. [Laughs] The idea of going with the flow. I’d feel like, “Ah! You’re touching everything.” [Laughs] Still working on that, but we’ve made so much progress, and I can let things go now. Yeah.
We have not fought since we took this class. So it’s been almost a full year, and we haven’t had a single fight. We just communicate now in a way that’s so authentic in the moment. We can still handle conflicts, but without getting into the messy place of wanting to demean one another.
KIM: You mentioned the idea of surrender, which we talk about a lot; especially for women, the archetypal feminine is all about surrender. So tell me about the evolution into that. Because often as well, what you were describing before, that rubbing up against or pushing up against the masculine—we’re not quite in touch enough with our own feminine to feel surrender, and I think on an instinctual level, we’re hoping for the man to subdue us. To throw us over his shoulder, spank us for being naughty, and toss us down onto the bed and show us who’s boss as a way to get you into our feminine energy. To really push the masculine to amplify his so that you can feel into yours.
Because you strike me, at least in speaking to you, as a very feminine woman. Was it like that before? Is this more newly evolved, or was it just covered over and needed to be unmasked again?
KEISHA: I feel like I definitely have always been very feminine. I called myself a butterfly for the longest time. I also didn’t have any running thoughts, which is crazy to say, but I just lived in the moment. I didn’t have a list going in my head, “I need to do this, this, this.” I didn’t have any anxieties. I was just here.
Then I had a kid. It’s like my brain turned on and I was like, “People have these thoughts all the time, like, ‘Ah, don’t touch that!’” And it kicked all of that into gear and also shot me into such a masculine, controlling energy. I wanted to control as many things as humanly possible. “I have to have my hands in all the different pots. Nothing goes to the kids without going through me.”
My husband was just supportive, I guess, in the sense that he was going with what he saw me doing. I’d say, “No, don’t do that. Don’t feed the kids this. Don’t look over here.” He’d say, “Okay, okay.”
But what was happening was that every time he didn’t say, “Stop being a loony-tune,” I was just getting more and more masculine, and then his energy was becoming more and more feminine. You can’t both just stand there in the face-off, and at the same time, your wife is going to be miserable because she literally is not meant to be doing all that. It’s so not natural, and it doesn’t feel good. It doesn’t feel right in your body. You’ll know it because you’re acting uncharacteristically. That’s not me. I’m actually not a rude person or naggy or a bitch. I’m actually really nice and kind and gracious when my energy is correct.
I don’t remember what week it was, but when you did the masculine and feminine energy work, we realized, “We are completely polarized, and we have to do a 180-degree flip.” It took some serious work and him catching me when I was doing it. Then me catching myself while I was doing it. “Okay, no, you got this.”
And then also learning that if I’m saying he’s got this, whatever it looks like, I have to just let it go and say, “Okay, that’s fun. This is new and different,” until we learned to trust the other. Okay, he’s got it. When he says he’s got it, he’s going to do it. I don’t have to worry and double-check and come back over and have my hand in it.
KIM: Beautiful. That polarity articulation is so important in a relationship because every couple has that dynamic to one degree or another, and they’ll have so much conflict over it, but they won’t understand it. They won’t understand what is going on. They just know that they’re not happy and things don’t feel right, and it can get beyond that into frustration and lots of conflict.
To have it spoken is such an aha-moment for so many couples of, “Oh, that’s what we’re doing. That is the thing that’s driving us nuts and creating such a wedge between us. Okay, here’s the solution.”
So you’d been having sex like, “See you in a couple weeks or next month.” And how is that different now? How often are you having sex?”
KEISHA: We’re definitely having sex three to four times a week. Not every day. We’re not there yet. But we are comfortably in three to four times a week. Not even two times a week. Three is the minimum because I think that’s all I can go before I become a little crazy. She creeps out, and he says, “No, absolutely not. She can never come back. She’s not welcome here.”
KIM: I love that people begin to self-diagnose, and they start to see that imbalance either in themselves or in the relationship. Or maybe they start bickering a little bit. “Oh, when’s the last time we had sex?” “Oh my god, it was three days ago. We need to get to bed right now.” They start to see what their minimum rhythm is for the relationship and for themselves to stay in balance and to function optimally.
KEISHA: Exactly. He travels a lot for work, so he’s out of town right now, and the day before he leaves, it’s go time. [Laughs] We call it my vitamin D. “I’ve got to take my vitamins before you leave so that I can make it through this trip.”
Then, immediately when he gets back, it’s like, “Okay, time for another dose because it’s been four days since I last saw you, which is a long time, and so I’m acting a little bit cranky.”
KIM: You need to double dose on the vitamin D. Yeah, I love that.
What are some of the other tools that you’ve incorporated into your relationship to stay connected? You mentioned that you guys really love the yoni and lingam massage.
KEISHA: Yes, we do. Those are staples, and our stock of coconut oil is hefty now. We just buy it in bulk because we both love giving and receiving. I just feel like that piece right there, first of all, should be talked about when you’re in sex-ed classes if you go to public school or whatever you choose to do. If you’re homeschooling, you need to include it in your curriculum because it’s something that I never had before I took the class. Mind you, I was 32 years old when we took this class, and I had never experienced a yoni massage. I’m sure we’d done a hand job, but that’s lame [laughs]; that’s not the same.
KIM: Well, it’s different. The intention is totally different with yoni and lingam massages, where you’re aiming to activate, heal, and release tension and trauma, rather than just get to orgasm as fast as possible.
KEISHA: Yeah. There’s so much more love and intention behind what we’re doing, so it’s not like, “Oh, I’m just going to use my fingers to get you off.” No, I’m actually sending you love and healing. It’s just a beautiful practice that gets you also turned on. I always get turned on when I’m doing lingam massage. I’m trying not to. “No, this isn’t about me. This is about him.” But then by the end, I’m thinking, “Can it be a little bit about me too?”
KIM: So what does that do for you guys, having these massages?
KEISHA: I feel like it strips off any layers that you might want to hide, because it’s just like, “Here I am. I’m splayed out. I’m uninhibited, and my partner is just loving me in a beautiful, pure way.”
KIM: I love that analogy. And how about your orgasmic journey? You mentioned you were very close to your vibrator in the past.
KEISHA: I threw it away.
KIM: Are you still friends? Sworn enemies now?
KEISHA: I threw it away. “Kim said not to use this during the class,” and like I said, it had a chokehold on me because I loved her. “No, she’s my special friend.”
KIM: “She’s never let me down.”
KEISHA: Yes. “She’s so fast at her work.” And then I said, “I’m going to possibly be tempted to pull her out while we’re doing this work,” so I threw her in the trash. Then I said, “I can’t believe I threw her in the trash!”
KIM: And you’re rifling through the trash. “What time and day is the trash pickup this week? I left something behind.”
KEISHA: No, we never looked back. I haven’t gotten another one. We never looked back because it’s so worth it. I tried to tell my sister because she’s the one who introduced me to vibrators. She said, “You should get a vibrator.” Then I did, and I said, “What?” And then I told her, “You should throw away your vibrator.” She said, “What?” like a crazy person. I said, “No, I’m telling you, there’s better out there than your vibrator.” She said, “With a man?” I said, “Yes! Or with yourself. You could use the dildo, but yes, I’m telling you it’s better. It’s better.”
So yeah, no vibrator now, and we only go for some G-spot orgasms. He attempts to make me come multiple times before he’ll even think about it. I have to say, “Okay, you can go now too, because I’m pooped. I can’t go anymore. I’m just going to fall off the bed and be somewhere.”
KIM: Yeah. Beautiful. What changes happened in your husband? Because you largely, it sounds like, started this journey for yourself, and overall, to benefit your relationship. And has he wonderfully committed and participated? What kinds of changes did he notice?
KEISHA: In himself? First of all, his stamina—he can go as long as I need. For any girl, that’s a dream. That’s what you want. You don’t know you want it, but you do want it. Now it’s like until I’m done, he’s not done, which is crazy and amazing. He loves your breathwork. “Look what I can do with my breath.” Even if he thinks he’s close to an orgasm, he can control it with his breath. He said it makes it way better because it’s called edging, so he gets really, really close, pulls back, gets really, really close, pulls back. Then, when he finally gets to go, he says, “It’s like a thousand times more powerful than it was before.”
These are just things he’s told me. Obviously, I’m not experiencing it for him. And yeah, he used to be quiet. He didn’t really talk about sex. He was a quiet, reserved church boy. Now, he’ll get up from a session, and he’ll say, “That was wild. Okay. That was mind-blowing.” I’ll say, “Yes, I know, right? Isn’t it crazy?” And then we gab about it.
He used to fall asleep afterward. We both did. So it wasn’t just a solo thing. We’d say, “Let’s bust one out and then go to bed.”
Now, it’s like you said, we’re harnessing all this energy. By the end, we’re up for hours. We’re saying, “It’s late at night; we should be going to bed. Our kids are going to wake up so early, but let’s just chit-chat for a couple of hours afterward and have a snack.”
KIM: Because you’ve actually been cultivating that energy and building it, and now you have it to use and exchange with each other instead of just dumping it out into the ethers. And we see that when people, especially men, just pass out after orgasm. Often, women can too, but it’s really just get there as fast as you can and then unconsciously eject it, wasting this energy. Literally flushing it down the toilet in a wad of toilet paper rather than building it and nourishing each other with it.
You mentioned the word reset. Now the intimate connection becomes a place where we recharge each other and heal each other, just the way you did with your health situations, and we get that vitamin D, that vitamin everything, that is the most powerful vitamin there is. I think it’s so overlooked, and when people are reaching for so many other things—whether it’s prescription antidepressants or hormones or weight loss drugs—they’re missing the most powerful secret weapon that they have at their fingertips, and they just have no clue.
And I love what you said, that even within weeks, you felt the shift. When people really do dive in and commit, they can have radical changes very quickly. And everyone’s different. Like you said, there are some things you’re still working on, and that’s totally fine. But I think people who really do dive in in a powerful way will see some important changes very quickly. Then it just keeps building and keeps getting better and better on that.
KEISHA: Yes. That’s what we say every time we’re finished with a session. We’ll just realize that every time, it gets better. Every time we think that the last time was the best time, then the next time beats it.
We’re not having sex with a goal in mind of, “Oh, I’m going to get you off; I’m going to make you come.” That’s not the goal. We’re actually connecting. Our bodies are communicating now, and we’re going with the flow of how things feel, and exploring. We’re trying new things out.
It’s not so much performance-based. We’re not just looking for the orgasm. That’ll come, but that’s not the main goal when we’re having sex now. I feel like that is the opposite of what you’re told the whole time. “It’s orgasm, it’s orgasm, it’s orgasm, it’s orgasm; go for it.” Then you’re just pounding it out, but not in the sense of making this beautiful, spiritual love connection that happens when you do this work.
When you strip off all the layers and you get rid of all the unnecessary junk that you didn’t need, it’s like two people literally coming together as one person, as the class suggests, and I’m telling you, it’s literally magic. It’s magic in your bedroom, and yeah, you’re in some sort of nirvana super-space-world. I don’t know how to explain it. [Laughs]
KIM: You are explaining it. That’s beautiful. You’re doing a great job explaining it.
KEISHA: That’s just what it feels like.
KIM: That’s a wonderful place to leave off, with what you just summarized. Is there anything else that you’d like to say that you feel you haven’t shared yet?
KEISHA: No. I’m just so grateful that you’re doing this work and putting all this out there. I know you get people who don’t understand it, and you still pursue this and help so many people.
KIM: Thank you so much for sharing, Keisha. This has been a beautiful story, and I loved hearing it.
KEISHA: All thanks to you.
KIM: The Coming Together for Couples Salon is open for registration now. In this ten-week online journey for couples, you will learn my guided step-by-step yoni and lingam massages; clarity and communication techniques to help you emotionally open; how to build stamina and become a marathon fucker for men; techniques to achieve the deeper, vaginal orgasms in women; my secrets to marathon sex and getting high via your three-hour sex dates; how to amplify your masculine and feminine essences; and a full Tantric primer, including sexual positions for orgasms and healing.
You have full lifetime access to all of the material in the salon. To register, go to KimAnami.com/lovers.
If you’d like to go deeper into all things orgasms, sign up for my free Orgasmapedia Series here, where you’ll learn about nine different types of orgasms everyone can have. Come one, come all.
