21st Century Tantra TRANSCRIPT
Don’t let the incense and Mrs. Roper caftans fool you.
Sometimes people ask me if I can recommend a Tantra teacher.
I tell them I am one.
I’ve been studying and practicing Tantra for over 30 years.
Just because I dress well and don’t wear sarongs as an outfit in public, or hold my hands up in prayer all the time, doesn’t mean I don’t do Tantra.
I do a modern, sophisticated version of it.
And that’s a lot of what people love about my work.
I remove the fluff and cut to the chase.
Don’t let the lack of incense and Mrs. Roper caftans fool you.
When I used to do private coaching back in the day, high-powered people came to see me BECAUSE I could teach them how to fuck better, minus the incense and shitty clothes.
When you stay up all night having sex with your partner and in the morning you not only aren’t tired, but you are high, energized, brilliant and brimming with creative genius.
That’s Tantra.
When you grow so close to your partner and remove all the walls and guarding between you that you can telepathically communicate with them.
That’s Tantra.
When you have cervical orgasms and feel like you’ve seen God, feel more spiritually awakened than you ever have in your life.
That’s Tantra.
When you have sex as a man and have so much energy that you spring out of bed and literally run a marathon afterwards.
That’s Tantra.
When you lose the extra 30 pounds you’ve been carrying around without changing your diet or exercise even one little bit, but you’ve been having amazing sex and that seems to have acted like a baggage-burning catalyst and zapped away all of your excess heaviness.
That’s Tantra.
When you squirt into your partner’s mouth and feel like you worked through the equivalent 25 session of therapy and 200 years of ancestral trauma.
That’s Tantra.
When you are feeling financially stuck and at the precipice of a new reality, so you commit to having 90-minute oral sex sessions for the next week, and then land the biggest multi-million dollar deal of your lives.
That’s Tantra.
When you’ve increased your stamina as a man and now can give your woman G-Spot orgasms, cervical orgasms and make her squirt and cry at the same time, and she transforms into the most soft and supportive well-fucked woman of your dreams.
That’s Tantra.
When you’ve been clinically depressed but you decided to go on The Come Diet—having plenty of vaginal orgasms and eating your man’s ejaculate every day, and you cure your depression.
That’s Tantra.
The essence of Tantric sex is learning to use the power of your sexual energy for creation.
For healing.
For spiritual awakening.
And living a life that is so rich and pleasurable, that it feels like a constant orgasm.
Most people use sex to put themselves to sleep.
Energetically and literally.
It’s an escape. They check out. They jerk off to relieve stress.
In Tantra, we use sex to wake us up out of a millennia-long slumber.
To get high. To heal ourselves. To reach altered states of consciousness. To clear trauma.
To harness and channel this energy into ourselves, our partners and our lives.
And yes, to experience ecstasy and the feeling of oneness and connection every day.
As I always say, if sex isn’t changing your life, you’re doing it wrong.
Here’s how we do that:
21st Century Tantra Tip #1: Intention.
A lot of what I do is SHOWING people what’s possible in their sex lives.
Beyond a pump, dump and pass-out session.
Which doesn’t even graze the surface of what sex can be.
Tantra is about consciously recognizing the power you have between your legs.
And cultivating it with each other so that it grows exponentially.
You go deeper and wilder with your partner.
And take them into new territories within themselves they didn’t even know existed.
You light them up, bringing their dormant parts to life.
You use your genitals as healing balm and discover just how much you can open your heart, how much you can surrender and be vulnerable.
And find out that all your power lies in these places.
You start with believing something different might be possible.
That if our Well-F**ked All Stars can do it, with their six kids and their business empires, and their health challenges.
So can you.
So you commit.
21st Century Tantra Tip #2: Make time.
“We don’t have time!” is the biggest crock of shit I ever hear.
You’re right in a sense.
You don’t “have time”.
You MAKE time.
You carve it out and deem it sacrosanct and NOTHING can tread on your sacred fuck portal.
Nothing. Not ever.
It’s the most valuable thing you have.
Your most precious resource and life hack.
I often use the analogy of when I get a massage.
I would never book 30 minutes. Or 60 minutes.
I go for a minimum 90 minutes.
I need time to open up and unwind. To shut my mind off and let go of any distractions.
This is why I recommend weekly 3-hour sex dates for couples.
The most sexual discovery happens in these extended sessions.
You need uninterrupted, no-pressure time and space to explore and go deeper.
At first it can seem like “Man how are we going to fill up all that time?”
And then as you learn to open up and go deeper with each other, you find that it passes in the blink of an eye.
4 hours seems like 30 minutes.
You’ve time-warped.
In fact, this is when you know you’ve hit the high zone in your lovemaking.
Because something odd just happened with time and space.
You transcended it.
You altered it.
You emerge from your sex cocoon, transformed.
This is what we’re aiming for.
You need enough time for the metamorphosis to be completed.
Magic unfolds in these liminal spaces where you you can open and open and open.
The more time you spend having sex, the more energy you harvest.
The old joke of Sting having Tantric sex for eight hours at a time that’s been etched into the cultural landscape is a worthy goal.
A bare minimum for any man is to be able to have intercourse for a solid hour.
At least.
And in full control.
This is crucial.
You’ll NEVER reach any level of sexual mastery without this.
Women will shut down toward you if you keep bailing on them in important moments.
Before they come. When they’re about to come.
You do this a few times and it’s game over.
They don’t trust you anymore.
You’ll think they aren’t having sex with you because they don’t like sex.
Nah. That’s not it.
They just don’t like having sex with you, when you are basically having sex with yourself.
Learn how to become a Supercock.
I’ll teach you all about superstar stamina and how to orgasm without ejaculation in my Coming Together Salon.
21st Century Tantra Tip #3: Slow down
Tantra is all about expanding the moment.
Foreplay isn’t a cursory nipple grab or a two-minute blow job.
Foreplay starts outside of the bedroom.
It’s the way you talk to each other.
The looks you give each other from across the room at a crowded party.
It’s the hand-up-the skirt in the car.
It’s the sexy photo you sent at lunchtime.
It’s a passionate kiss and pin up against the wall in the hallway.
And then!
Once you do get into bed.
Forget the two-minute blow job.
Aim for 45 minutes.
And you’ll unlock the secrets of the universe.
The more time you spend, you crack open all these doorways and superpowers within you.
Being loved, adored and cherished in all your most intimate places, having someone REALLY see you is the medicine you never knew you needed.
Give your partner a 30-minute yoni massage.
And once you do have intercourse, how slow can you go?
I’m not saying that we’re always aiming for super slow.
But we definitely don’t want a five-minute finish or even 15 minutes.
Like I said, minimum one hour.
In that hour or three hours, take your time.
This is where we play with the edge.
We build up to it.
We back away from it.
WE build up to it. We ride it.
We get very adept at dancing all over it.
We TRAIN ourselves to be able to accept so much pleasure and intensity.
We increase our pleasure endurance.
So we can have more of it in our lives.
This becomes our default and a place we can live.
Rather than it being a split-second explosion, we can take that orgasmic moment and expand it into an hour, three hours.
Eight hours.
Hello Sting.
If you’ve ever entered into this bliss portal and time warp, you know of what I speak.
Yes, you can have an eight-hour orgasm.
When you do make it out of your bed, you exist in some world-between-worlds, world-above-worlds, liminal space.
Everything looks different.
You feel different.
This sensual current still runs through you and connects you to your partner.
it’s like an electric charge that keeps you plugged in, feeding each other.
You become so close and connected that you begin to communicate telepathically.
You think of him and he calls.
You need to ask her sage opinion on something and she texts you the answer out of the blue.
Your inner need for them becomes so all-encompassing, that they just know, and they take you to bed.
Where all the magic and medicine happens.
21st Century Tantra Tip #4: We want it raw.
No performance. No acting. No pretending. No hiding.
People who have quick sex, are simply hiding.
In a few minutes, they can get in and out and you never even saw them.
Or felt them.
When you spend hours with someone: Naked. Intimate. Exposed.
You can’t fake it.
All the secrets of who you are come out.
In a Tantric relationship, you eat it all up.
It’s dripping from your face.
The good, the bad and the ugly.
You love it all up and in this love/fuck alchemy, you hold each other.
You exalt each other.
And bit by bit, you learn to live in this place too.
Where you can be softer. More real. More open. More honest.
Because the more vulnerable you are and someone loves you in this space, you get better at being that in the outer world.
You don’t feel the need anymore to put on armour.
You don’t need it.
You’re discovered the secret that you are actually more protected when you are vulnerable and raw.
Because you open yourself to the universal flow.
And it guides you. Protects you. Shows you the way.
21st Century Tantra Tip #5: Breathe motherfucka as Wim Hof would say.
The easiest and most effective way to MOVE sexual energy in your body, through your energy meridians and USE it to get high, lose weight, harness your creative genius and become a multi-millionaire, is to breathe.
Yep.
Breathing + sexual energy = manifestation maestro.
Most people DUMP all of their pro-creative sexual energy out of them during sex.
Hence the passing out.
It depletes them.
Obviously!
Or they wouldn’t be keeling over like they’re dead.
But you as a smart, sophisticated Tantric fucker, you breathe and recirculate that energy in your system.
I teach advanced practices in my salons to move and direct this energy.
But the first step—and it’s a huge step—is to breathe.
For most people, this is really challenging.
They’ve developed the habit of holding the breath, taking really shallow breaths and clenching up their bodies.
All of these things curtail the flow of energy.
Breathe deeply.
Not only will it help you to be more present, it brings you into your body and moves your sexual energy.
This is the first step to creating full-body orgasms.
You’ll know you’ve done it right when you want to go the to gym after sex, rather than take a nap.
21st Century Tantra Tip #6: Healing sexual positions.
Let your sex be your medicine and your medicine be your sex.
We can get so aware of and consciously harness the healing power of sex, that we can even use different sexual positions to move energy.
Did you know that ancient Taoist physicians in China used to prescribe different sexual positions to heal ailments?
Yes, sex truly was—and is—medicine.
A woman can use doggie-style to bust through anger and help open her heart.
A man can benefit from The Waterfall position to increase focus, concentration and mental acumen.
I give you a full pocket guidebook of sexual prescriptions for different moods and ailments in my Coming Together for Couples Salon.
Including sex positions to make you smarter, richer and how to open your heart.
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So what does all this do for you?
In Tantra and conscious sexuality practices the name of the game is self-actualization.
I guarantee that your pleasure will increase a thousand fold.
The paltry orgasms you have now are in another, inferior galaxy compared to what you CAN have.
So yes, exponential pleasure.
But deeper than that, sex now changes and creates your life.
This is because you’ve now learned how to be a conduit for the very life-force, pro-creative energy of the universe.
It’s flowing through you and moving you and rebirthing you and everything in your wake.
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So what is Tantra?
ALL of this.
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My Coming Together for Couples Salon is Tantra 101 and Tantra 1001 nights.
In this 10-week online salon, you’ll learn:
- How to harness the healing and creative power of your sexual energy
- Sexual reflexology maps of the genitals
- My sexual position prescription guide
- The full orgasmapedia—all of the life-changing vaginal orgasms for women
- Superstar stamina techniques for men to last for hours
- How to transmute your sexual energy into more cash and abundance in your lives.
The salon is open for registration NOW.
To signup, go to kimanami.com/lovers
