MEET ANOTHER WELL-F**KED MAN FULL TRANSCRIPT
Today we are speaking to another well-f**ked man!
Paul is a Sexual Mastery for Men alumni and has also done Coming Together. His wife Barbara has done the Well-F**ked Woman and Vaginal Kung Fu.
You could said they are Anami devotees!
In fact, Paul references life “before Anami” and “after Anami’.
I ask Paul: What was your greatest motivation in doing this work?
He answers: “I want my wife to be a well-f**kd woman.”
And she is.
I often talk about how vaginal orgasms are essential good-fuck medicine for women.
This is what she really needs to feel sexually satisfied and transform her into being a radiant, glowing, gorgeously well-fucked woman.
In our conversation, we chat about:
Everyone LOVED the well-f**ked man interview I did last week.
So, I’m giving you another.
These well-f**ked Anami all stars shine their light and lead the way to show you what is possible.
FOR EVERYONE!
It’s the Anami Guarantee:
Everyone can reach these places. If you put in the time and energy.
KIM: Welcome, Paul! It’s fantastic to have you here.
PAUL: Fantastic to be back. Great to see you.
KIM: Tell me, what was the main motivation for you in doing this work?
PAUL: Well, I got an email a little over a year ago from someone that I really respect, talking about this program called The Well-F**ked Woman. I said, “I really want my wife to be a Well-F**ked Woman. What is this all about?”
We looked into it, and she started it. She really engages in whatever she’s into. If she’s into it, she’s into it, and she was very much into the idea of being a Well-F**ked Woman.
I quickly realized while she was doing Well-F**ked Woman that I was going to be behind the curve if I didn’t sign up for Sexual Mastery right after that. It just kind of worked together for us to do this. It kind of culminated with the Coming Together Salon, and our lives have transformed dramatically in the last year or so.
KIM: I love that. There’s this idea, spiritually speaking in a lot of different cultures, that the woman leads the man home to God or into growth or she inspires him to up-level himself. You’re the second person I’ve talked to recently whose wife was the impetus. His wife did Well-F**ked Woman and then he did Sexual Mastery for Men; the way we run our salons through the year, one follows the other.
The men have said, “Oh, okay, I’m going to get onto this; this is amazing.” They’ve been inspired by the changes that they’ve seen in their partners and in their relationships. Then they’re super motivated to also do this, something that they might not have had the impetus to do before.
Or you don’t know what you don’t know. Somebody comes along and says, “Your wife can be extremely well-fucked. There’s a way to up-level your sex life, and here it is,” and then people take that invite and say, “Well, why not? How could I refuse?” [Laughs]
PAUL: Yeah, exactly. The changes came from literally week one of Well-F**ked Woman. She had a major breakthrough that has completely reformed our sex life, just from the first week of Well-F**ked Woman.
Everybody’s got these weird blocks, and once you figure out what they are and where to go from there, it’s just off to the races.
KIM: That’s fabulous. We were chatting before this and you said that your wife was away for a few days; she got back really late at night and knew that you had this giant work gig early in the morning. She said, “Okay, honey, I’ll come in and I won’t wake you up.” But what happened, Paul?
PAUL: [Laughs] Well, I think we both kind of knew that I was not going to stay asleep. In before-Anami times, maybe I would’ve stayed asleep and said, “Oh, whatever, I got stuff to do.” But a major thing that has changed for us is what I call the 24/7 simmer. It’s like we are constantly flirting, and the funny thing is, we have kids that are 11 and 13, and they actually encourage it. They’ll actually come up and say, “Give Mommy a hug.”
KIM: Really?
PAUL: “Now give her a smooch. Dad, you’ve got to give her a better one than that.” It’s awesome. I think the kids understand when the parents are happy—it just is what it is. If the mom is well-fucked, the house is happier. It’s as simple as that. It really is. You can talk about this happy wife, whatever, thing, but people know. Kids are so in tune to all this, and they actually encourage us.
Anyway, the three days that she was out of town, the phone calls and the texts just got flirtier and flirtier and hotter and hotter. We’d FaceTime at night and talk about what was happening. We didn’t have the physical-ness of the simmer that we usually have on a day-to-day basis, but we had that. And I knew that we were both going to be dying for it.
She got home at 12:15, and I’m usually in bed earlier than that, especially if I have to work at seven in the morning. She had her first orgasm within 20 minutes, and by 1 AM, we’d lost count. I knew that we weren’t going to be going until five in the morning, but we didn’t wrap it up until an hour after that. The way that I feel about it, the Well-F**ked Woman means you don’t finish until she is done. And I don’t mean she’s had one; I don’t mean she’s had a handful; I mean, she’s done. She says, “Honey, you’re good to go.” [Laughs]
Holding off until that point is, to me, the number one thing that you can give your woman. You want her to be a Well-F**ked Woman? You’ve got to let her choose when that time is going to be.
KIM:
She comes first, and she comes many. That’s one of my golden rules of orgasms. People think one is enough, especially if it was a clitoral orgasm, which isn’t true. That would leave a woman feeling quite hungry and probably resentful.
I love that you’ve taken that on board as your sexual mantra; not until she is fully satiated and spent and can take no more do you say, “Okay, my work here is done.”
PAUL: Yeah. It’s a completely different perspective. In the pre-Anami times, what would be normal for us was she would have two clitoral orgasms and I’d finish. That would be a typical night for us. And my attitude was, she had two and I had one. She can’t complain about anything. I just didn’t know any better. She’d had the occasional cervical orgasm, but we didn’t even know what it was. She’d never had a G-spot orgasm, because neither one of us knew how to do it.
That’s just turned into a whole huge adventure for us, and it’s funny because in the work, when you’re doing Well-F**ked Woman or Sexual Mastery, they said at one point, “The number one toy you need to get is this G-spot stimulator, a dildo or something.” Because a guy just can’t do it forever. His fingers are just going to get tired.
KIM: Only human.
PAUL: I said, “What the hell is that? What are they talking about? I have no idea what they’re talking about.” And it took us six months to realize, oh, I’m a piano player. That’s kind of a thing for us.
KIM: What you’re saying is you have extreme finger stamina, and so when it comes to stimulating a woman’s G-spot manually, you can go and go and go and go and give her multiple, multiple orgasms. I talked in the salon about how a lot of guys might need a pinch hitter [laughs]; in between the manual stimulation, they might need a special G-spot toy, like our Akasha in the Anami Alchemia Shop.
You guys said, “We don’t need some extra implement; what is this all about?” And then you finally figured out, as a professional pianist, your fingers are ultra-strong and agile.
PAUL: I’ve been playing piano for 50 years. [Laughs] It’s been a great advantage for us, that’s for sure.
KIM: A vaginal maestro.
PAUL: [Laughs] I do my best.
KIM: That’s amazing. What would you say have been some of the biggest changes in your sex life? It sounds like you came to the place of having G-spot orgasms and many of them. Your attitude has changed. How about your stamina? Because I know you guys went from having a decent amount of sex to having two- to three-hour sex dates as a regular thing, no problem.
What would you say some of the biggest transformations have been in your sex life?
PAUL: Probably the biggest one is just the amount of time that we spend actually having sex. In the before-times, before Well-F**ked Woman, an hour would seem like an incredibly long time, like this crazy night that we had.
KIM: Epic, yeah.
PAUL: Thirty to 40 minutes would be like a normal thing. We were used to each other; we knew what to do, and it was all fine. Last night was maybe an hour and 45 minutes total. But that was the middle of the night, and she’d been driving for over seven hours, and I had already been asleep for two hours. It’s not our longest, [laughs] but yeah, it’s dedicating the time and putting in a few hours. For sure. A typical weekend for us would be at least two and a half hours. At that point, we’re pretty spent.
We’re active. We’re physical. We’re both very much into being fit. I don’t know how athletic we are compared to other couples, but we do like to have the stamina and the wherewithal to keep it going for a long time.
KIM: You talked about prioritizing that; you make your physical fitness a priority, not just to remain healthy, but also to remain as that person who can go the distance with your partner physically.
PAUL: Absolutely. It’s not just that Barbara is younger; it’s that I am just interested in fitness and in longevity and natural healing and everything like that. That’s been my thing for a really long time. I was a teenager when I bought Durk Pearson’s Life Extension book. This has been a lifelong thing for me. I want to be as healthy as I can. Almost my entire family is completely unhealthy, and nobody likes to see their parents die painfully and horribly. I said, “What did he do wrong?” Well, the list of things is very wrong, and I just didn’t want to follow that pattern. And I did not want to burden a partner with that.
So there’s that thing where I just feel I need to prioritize this in my life, period. But how sex comes into that is what I quickly understood when I started doing the work, especially when you started talking about lengthening and strengthening the cock.
It’s quite something to say, “Your cock can get bigger,” because that really gets a guy’s attention, for sure. That’s really going to work. But what I realized in that time is that if your cock is healthy, if you get that blood flow going—I had an issue with blood clots some years ago, and so this is something I started doing. I didn’t do the drugs; I did nattokinase and black seed oil and different things like that to try to treat it, because that is what I do.
And if the blood flow is good in your cock, it’s good in your heart. You want good health, you want good cardiovascular health, you can’t have one without the other. Of course, there’s a flip side to that: you need good cardiovascular health if you want to have a long, long, long-lasting sex life. I never want to stop having sex, and who would? Especially if you’ve met Barbara. I mean, come on! [Laughs]
It’s amazing, and I want to be there and available every night, and it takes work.
KIM: Yeah. You said that one of your big goals was you want your wife to be a Well-F**ked Woman. It sounds like you guys had a decent sex life already. You weren’t in dire straits. But it’s like, how can we get better? How can she become even more well-fucked? What changes did you notice in her as you took on this work and you started to evolve in your sex life? What did it look like for her in becoming more of a Well-F**ked Woman?
PAUL: [Laughs] Let’s just say she was in a better mood all the time. She’s never been extremely difficult to get along with or bitchy or anything like that. But there were times before, for sure, where if I let her down, if I didn’t do what I needed to do to get her well-satisfied, which was way too often at the time, she’d be crabby. That’s a natural consequence.
It’s another huge motivator; the house is happier for everybody if she’s well-fucked, period. That’s just the way it is. It’s better for me, better for her, and better for the kids.
KIM: Yeah. Happy wife, happy life.
Well-f**ked wife, ecstatic life.
PAUL: Yeah, for sure. It’s funny; the well-f**ked life extends. It spills over into other things you wouldn’t necessarily connect with sex.
When we talked before, we talked about landing a great job. I had this great gig that came up the night after we’d had this amazing sex.
KIM: Describe that again for us. You guys had this epic sex date night and extended sex and then the next day you got this really amazing career invitation, like a real career moment, and you said, “Did that just come to us because of this epic sex we had last night?” I would say yes, it did.
PAUL: Right. It was the Abbey Road gig.
KIM: Yeah. An Abbey Road gig as a musician, so a crowning achievement in your career.
PAUL: Yeah, it’s pretty great. It’s kind of funny because I did a recording session to Budapest this morning. We did a remote recording and right after the session, the guy who brought me onto that session said, “Hey, I’ve got this new thing that just came up.” [Laughs] Is that from last night?
It’s one of those things that’s weird. This is something I’ve always struggled with because it isn’t normal human stuff; you have great sex and then something amazing happens.
But when it happens again and again, it just really makes you want to keep on having amazing sex. And honestly, the jobs are great. The jobs have been amazing, and I’m super happy with them. But there was one thing that was significantly more amazing than that. About nine, ten months ago we made the decision to get out of Los Angeles. I’ve lived there all my life; my career was there. Her career was there. We decided that it would be best for our family if we left.
This was a huge thing for us because we had never lived outside of this one little pocket on the north end of LA. So we started looking in this one area in Southern Utah that we really liked because we’d vacationed there. I said, “This place is gorgeous. My grandfather used to live here. We love it here, and the people are amazing. We can really find our people here.” And we felt a really strong connection with the place.
Our realtor that we had met by complete accident—that’s a whole other story—said, “There are 1,600 people looking for houses in your price range, and there are only 180 properties available.”
We bid on a property, didn’t get it. We bid on a property, didn’t get it. We bid on another one, sight unseen, got outbid by 40 grand on five properties.
This kept on happening, and our house had sold. I said, “We’re going to be homeless. We’ve got to be out of our house.” And we literally had no place to go. I said to Barbara—
KIM: We’ve got to get fucking! [Laughs] We’ve got to get fucking!
PAUL: Absolutely! And we did. We talked about it; we tried to really connect before we did. We had a great night, and the next morning the deal came through. Out of all this, that is one of the most amazing things. We got it for under asking, which is impossible.
KIM: Yeah!
PAUL: But it was a situation where I just accidentally happened upon this place for sale by the owner. The realtor went by and talked to the guy. It turns out that his best friend coached baseball with him, and so there was that instant connection. And the guy wanted to get out of the house. He said, “I’ve got somebody for you right here,” and so we got it.
It’s a great place. We love it here, and that’s honestly the biggest life change. How can you manifest that significant of a thing, you know? But I feel like we were desperate; our family needed this. We had to do something. And if you can get it through great fucking, then that’s great. [Laughs]
KIM: That’s incredible because I talk about that all the time. I can see how for people, even you, there can be a degree of skepticism. “Okay, we’ve tried everything; we’ve done all of these physical steps to achieve this thing in our life; we’re coming up against a wall. What’s the solution?” And the average person wouldn’t be thinking—and even you half-weren’t, right?—
“Well, maybe we need to go and have some epic sex, and maybe that will generate that creative, super flow of the universe that will enable us to magnetize to us our heart’s desires.”
You obviously had that experience before, landing that big Abbey Road gig. But even then you kind of thought, “Did that really happen?” But you know it did. For the human mind and how we’re trained to think about what our sexual energy really is and what our creative powers are, that would be a total nonscientific no-go. “Well, that’s completely fruity, la-la-land kind of stuff.”
Except that over the years, in my work, watching this take place and play out in people’s lives over and over and over again, I speak about it so confidently. And then it’s such a delight to watch people have it play out in their lives when they either accidentally do it because they’re having better sex and they just start to see all of this abundance come in, and then at times, start to consciously use it. “Well, nothing else is working; we better be upping the orgasm quotient and the ecstasy quotient in our bedroom, and that might just be the thing that notches it over into the realm of manifesting as reality.”
PAUL: Yeah. It’s very mysterious to me still. If somebody else told me, “Yeah, I did this,” I’d say, “Whatever, it’s a coincidence.” When it’s coincidence after coincidence, though, at some point you realize there’s really something to this.
KIM: Yeah, absolutely. I love that.
PAUL: So yeah, we really try to consciously make that happen.
KIM: What else would you say about any other shifts that you’ve seen in your outer life? You mentioned that your children seem to be harmonious in terms of reacting to the shifts in you. The more in tune that you guys are, the more they feel that intuitively; when you guys are really loved up, that makes the whole family atmosphere even more blissful.
PAUL: Absolutely. That totally happens. There are actually tons of changes in our life over this year.
KIM: Share! What else is there?
PAUL: One of the big things is that we’ve started homeschooling and that freedom has been amazing for us. The kids love it, and it allows us so much flexibility, so much freedom. They’re learning way, way, more than they would in a public school where they’re homogenized into this group.
That was Barbara’s old job. She was a kindergarten teacher. She would get a couple of kids that could read, a couple of kids that had never seen a letter before, depending on what they were before. And her job was to homogenize those kids into one group that was ready for first grade.
She was so great at her job and made the kids feel so loved that everybody loved her. But she realized, “I’m basically taking away individuality. I’m putting my stamp on all these little people, and their parents are the perfect people to do. I’m kind of taking over that role in this busy LA vibe where both parents are working and there’s all this stuff going on.”
We were able to do that. That we were able to change over to a single income and make that happen has been amazing for us. It’s been amazing for the kids. It’s just better for them. She’s not as tired and worn out and pissed off at the system all the time, which just leads to more sex for us, which leads to more happiness in the house, and more bliss all around.
There’s no price you could put on that. It’s an amazing part of the work that we could’ve never predicted. When we started this, we said, “We could have better orgasms,” and that was the goal, right? And it’s been so much beyond that.
Especially for men, if you’re focused on being the best lover you can possibly be, it’s going to spill out into every other aspect of your life.
It’s just going to be part of who you are every day. If you have that simmering going on all the time and you’re always down for it, that energy plays out into everything else you’re doing.
That’s the experience that we’ve had. We just want to keep that going forever.
KIM: For people who may not know, I use a term, “the simmer,” to describe that there’s always this hum of sexual charge and energy flowing between the couples. For many people there’s a deliberate, “Okay, we’re having sex now,” and then they start from scratch in terms of their flow and connection with each other and have to build up this big charge. But in a Well-F**ked Relationship, in a Well-F**ked Couple, you’ve always got that hum, that attraction between you that you could basically, anytime, anywhere just drop and make love because you’re doing all of this preliminary clearing work to make sure that there’s nothing in the way, no past resentments, no unresolved issues between you. And you’re then just really available to each other, emotionally, sexually.
So that’s the ultimate state, I believe, and can be a permanent state for a couple, where they’re always in that place that we would think of as being the beginning of a relationship for most people. You prioritize the connection; you’re very present for each other; you’ll drop everything to attend to your partner and make them happy. We then think that everything changes and that it’s a thing of the past, something that doesn’t happen anymore.
But in these well-fucked, holy-fucked-type relationships, that becomes the norm; we’re in that level of total attraction and kinetic energy flowing between us and anytime, let’s jump on the kitchen counter and do it right here, right now, in the middle of making dinner kind of energy. That’s normal for people.
PAUL: Yeah, like you said, everybody kind of has that at the beginning, where they just can’t get enough of each other, and then I think a normal couple would say, “Oh well, real life got in the way and so we just don’t do that as often or whatever,” but if you are actively promoting the simmer in your daily life, it doesn’t ever have to change.
Barbara and I have been married for over 16 years; we’ve been together for 20-plus. It is definitely not something that ever has to go, but it is something you work on. And it is so worth it.
KIM: Is there anything you would like to share about your evolution in erections after doing these practices? Did any stamina and length or strength increase that you noticed?
PAUL: It’s a funny thing because in the salon, you talked about one lover that you had who’d been doing the lengthening and strengthening exercise that you were talking about, and he kind of caught you by surprise.
I did not actually measure before I started doing any of this, but you notice it, and your lover notices it just because there’s more length and more girth.
It’s not like it happens overnight. You don’t take a pill and—boom—you’re bigger. You work on it. It’s like anything else; if it’s worth doing, you have to work on it. You want to be good at shooting free throws? You have to work on it. It’s like that. And you can get bigger and stronger.
I don’t know how to describe it except it just feels heavier in my hand. It’s not just erections; it’s all day long too. For me, it just feels heavier, and it’s stronger, and we keep that up. I keep it up. It’s not something I did for a couple of weeks in your salon and then said, “Okay, well, that’s fine.” It’s something I still do.
KIM: Part of your workout routine.
PAUL: I did it with Barbara in the shower an hour and a half ago. [Laughs]
KIM: Awesome! Love it.
PAUL: You just think 50 times, “Can I use you instead?” [Laughs]
KIM: [Laughs] Using whatever is available at the moment. I love it.
PAUL: Yeah. If it’s her leg instead of my leg, it’s all good.
KIM: With G-spot orgasms, it sounds like she can have many at a time these days.
PAUL: Oh yeah. It’s just really a different thing. It’s not something that I understood at first because the clitoris is just the tip of the iceberg at most. You know what I mean? Sometimes she won’t even have a clitoral first.
It’s like in the Playboy article you talked about stage one, the clitoral, stage two, the G-spot, and stage three, the cervical. A lot of times with us, we’ll go straight into the G-spot stuff. We’ll fool around. She’s got to be ready for it. But then we’ll do a bonus clitoral at the end, once the G-spot is all lit up and the cervix is all lit up and everything inside is all lit up. Then a bonus clitoral at the end for her becomes this blended thing where everything is happening. Sometimes we’ll do that.
With the G-spot specifically, we do like to do it for a while. It usually happens until she tells me to stop. She describes it as van Gogh’s the Starry Night, where it’s fireworks going off. But it’s not peak, down, peak, down; it’s more here and roll and then roll up again and then roll up again. So we’ve got these waves and waves and waves. That’s just the way we like to roll. [Laughs]
KIM: It’s more Tantric style rather than a peak and a finite conclusion; you just keep going infinitely. You keep expanding at the experience of orgasm and your sex life in general. It’s a very different approach, this infinite orgasm, the ever-present orgasm that then even carries out into your daily life with that attraction and that energy that’s flowing between the two of you. The constant simmer.
PAUL: For sure.
KIM: Then your stamina. What would you say is easy for you to do? An hour, two hours, three hours? Anytime you want? You have full control?
PAUL: When you say stamina, how long can I go for all in one time?
KIM: Yeah.
PAUL: For me, it depends. If you say full-on, hard erection, full attention, that will come in bursts, honestly. I’ve never done three hours at a time. I’m more 40 minutes to an hour, take a little break, then go in for another 40 minutes to an hour. That’s doable. But we have lots of options in the in-between, and we take advantage of them. So that’s kind of where we live.
KIM: Fantastic.
PAUL: That’s quite a bit more than I was doing before, but also a part of that is just controlling when you finish, which is another thing you practice. That’s one of the things that you talked about right away.
This is a big thrust of SMM—no pun intended—you keep on increasing and increasing and increasing the time that you can be there and available.
Like last night, how long was it? I don’t know. There’s cervical after cervical after cervical until she finally says, “I’m all good if you’re waiting for me.” [Laughs] When that happens, it’s great, and sometimes those are more waves too; the really, really big ones are more like explosions.
You know what’s happened in the last year? We had never before uttered the words “What was that?” And that is kind of the routine experience for us now. It’s like the first time where she had that world-rocking cervical. It hit us both so hard that our bodies just went, “Oh my God. What the hell was that?” Because we had never experienced that before.
We still have that. There was one night a few weeks ago when I tried something I hadn’t tried before. I said, “Well, let’s see how this works out.” And afterward, she didn’t move for like three minutes. She just sat there like…[laughs] and those “what was that?” moments, we’re still having them, and we’re still learning and still up-leveling. Even though we did the work for a year, we’re still up-leveling. There’s still more to do.
KIM: I love that “I saw God” face, which is what I often describe for cervical orgasms for women. It’s a stupor, but a blissful one.
PAUL: Yeah, I can’t think of a single time before this that she had ever cried during sex. Now that’s become a lot more routine. When I say cry, I’m not saying in a bad way. It’s “Oh my God.” You know what I’m talking about. It’s like the emotional overwhelm cry, and I definitely take your advice when that happens.
KIM: I know the advice of which you speak. For people who may not be that familiar with cervical orgasms, when a woman has these really deep, transcendent orgasms, she’ll often cry the way that we cry tears of joy. When our heart opens or we’re just having this release and intense emotional overflow of stuckness that might be lodged inside of us, the cervical orgasm triggers that to open and to let go. Those orgasms are very, very cathartic and therapeutic for women, and I often say they’re like a substitute or a shortcut to hours of therapy.
We can fuck our way through things because these orgasms are really essential medicine for women. They’re that important and therapeutic.
That’s why I’m such a massive proponent of them; if a woman isn’t getting them, she’s really operating at a deficiency. These are the orgasms that really change her life and transform her into that effervescent, glowing, radiant, Well-F**ked Woman that is such a pleasure to be around. That woman is not naggy; she’s not whining; she’s not complaining. She’s just lubricating the flow of everyone around her. Especially her man.
PAUL: Yeah. It’s pretty great.
KIM: How would you describe a Well-F**ked Man?
PAUL: A Well-F**ked Man is someone who can—I don’t know, does it sound narcissistic to say make his woman get off any time he wants?
KIM: That’s a good start. Keep going.
PAUL: Being a Well-F**ked Man means you’re doing your job right. The thing is, any man will know, you’re going to get yours. It’s just going to happen. If you want to finish, if you want to do that, men can do that so much more easily.
For me, a Well-F**ked Man is someone who has the satisfaction of having a Well-F**ked Partner.
He can go as long as she wants to go. Once you ejaculate, it’s game over. You’re done. Being able to control that and make that happen when you want it to happen or if you want it to happen, that’s what a Well-F**ked Man does.
A Well-F**ked Man has a partner who is on the journey with him. That’s crazy important because maybe you’re with a woman that doesn’t care. I can’t imagine that a woman exists who would have a cervical and say, “No, I’m good with clitoral.” I don’t think it’s possible, but I don’t know.
KIM: I think they’re out there; they just don’t know what they don’t know, and they buy into this narrative that it doesn’t exist and clitoris is just fine. Or they’re really cut off and scared of the power of their own sexuality. I think they’re definitely out there.
PAUL: Sure. That was another concept I’d never heard of before, the numb vagina. There are parts in there that really can’t feel what they’re supposed to be feeling.
I didn’t know how to give someone a G-spot orgasm. But once we started doing it, we realized, this is great. This is natural for us, and it works great.
The other thing that happened that was amazing for me, probably a few weeks into Sexual Mastery last year, was that we were trying some funny sideways thing or something, and she said, “Oh my God, I think you found a new spot.”
We talked about this on the call; the entire vagina is just like this gold mine of things to find that she can wake up, get the whole thing lit up, and that’s the goal. If you can do that, then you’re doing your job as a Well-F**ked Man.
Plus, as a Well-F**ked Man, your partner is never going to say no if you want her to go down on you. It’s just not going to happen. You guys are in this thing together and it’s not, “Oh, baby, would you mind…” It just happens, and it happens all the time. For us in particular, it’s a huge part of what we do. Every couple is different, I’m sure, but I’ve never met a man who doesn’t like it. I don’t think that exists, but I feel very, very, very well taken care of all of the time.
KIM: You’re saying that being a Well-F**ked Man is having your woman open to you and voracious and available and open to these things. She’s absolutely ready to and eager and loves pleasuring you because she’s been well-pleasured as well. She’s been opened up on this journey, and these aren’t like chores to her or duty or obligation, the way they might be for some people. Instead, it’s an absolute pleasure and a gift. She loves every moment of it.
PAUL: And I love every moment of it, too, giving her pleasure. The give and take, just our interaction, is great. It’s just what makes us who we are, and it’s what makes our whole household what we are, and it just spills out into everything.
Our intimate life is the priority and is the thing that all that grows from.
KIM: Beautifully said because that’s something I try to tell people about—their sex life really is the core, and in a Well-F**ked Couple, that is where everything emerges from. The more time and energy that they put into their well-fucked-ness, into elevating their sex life and making it this superpower source, the more it is the creative generator for everything else that they do. Whether it’s their career, their financial situation, their ability to magnetize opportunities in their lives, their children; everything reverts back to the strength of their intimate connection. That’s where most people are completely amiss because don’t make that association.
Our culture at large would never really make that association. It would tell you the opposite, that you just do your duty and have this partner, but your sex life is a small, perhaps insignificant part of a relationship. Don’t be hung up on sex [laughs]; there’s a moral attachment to that as well.
The opposite is true; the more that you nurture that and make it a healthy, conscious, transcendent experience, the more it gives tenfold, a hundredfold back into your life.
PAUL: Yeah. For sure. Every aspect. It’s hard to explain. I know so many people that it’s just faded away for after time. I cannot imagine just stopping having sex. I just don’t get it at all. They don’t know what they’re missing. They don’t know that the great things they can have in their life are beyond what happens in the bedroom.
KIM: Yeah. Fantastic. Is there anything else that you would like to add that we haven’t covered?
PAUL: I think that’s about it. Our life has changed a lot in the last 13–14 months, whenever it was that Well-F**ked Woman started. We’ve been on this journey, and the journey continues, and we’re loving every minute of it. It’s just been great for us.
KIM: Awesome. Thank you so much, Paul.
PAUL: Sure. I love being a part of it.
