TRANSCRIPT – How to Invite Your Partner into Anami Land
This is a question we get asked ALL the time.
And it’s a great one.
If you’re even asking the question, then I assume the conversation about sex and your relationship overall isn’t as open as it could be.
So let’s get into it.
People are generally coming into this from one of two places:
The first:
1) You’ve NEVER had this conversation with your partner.
or
2) You HAVE had this conversation and it hasn’t gone well. They’ve shut you down and aren’t receptive to the idea of growth.
And what IS “The Conversation?”
Talking about how you could improve your sex life.
Looking at your relationship as a living entity; one that needs love and attention and food in order to grow. And then making that growth a CONSCIOUS priority in your life.
MOST people get together in their relationships and put in a a decent amount of work at the beginning, to “GET” that person.
They put their best foot forward.
They prioritize the relationship, putting it above other things in their lives.
And the relationship is off to a roaring start.
Then, once they feel they’re on solid ground, they slowly withdraw their attention and put it back into other things.
And, most people simply don’t have the tools to take a relationship into the next level of flourishing.
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Your relationship is meant to be a safe container where you can let all of you come out, your angels and your demons, and have that all thrown into the alchemical fire.
You heal. You grow.
You are reborn into the highest and best versions of yourselves, using the potent energy of your sexual and heart connection to quantum leap the process.
The big secret that most people have NO idea about, is that your relationship is your secret weapon.
It is your power source.
It’s the ultimate place for you to go to recharge.
Breathwork? Shadow work? Psychedelics? Nervous system resets? Therapy?
Nah.
Just get well-fucked instead.
I’m being a tad facetious here.
But not much.
Your relationship can do ALL of these things, much better and faster.
And so much more.
So KEEPING your relationship the priority is what will take you there.
Creating time and space for it to thrive.
And then so will you.
Most people will enter into relationships with whatever conditioning thy’ve absorbed from their families, from the TV and media, about what relationships are meant to look like.
Most of this conditioning is faulty.
Because most people are flailing around, with no idea what they are doing, operating on unconscious patterns and unresolved trauma.
Most people have shitty relationships.
So, understandably, if you do have this conversation, and your partner is surprised, because this wasn’t the name of the game when you came together—at the time, you were both more committed to stagnation than to growth—then this is definitely going to be a lane change for them.
If your partner LOVES the idea of growing and evolving IN GENERAL, then they’ll likely jump on this with a “FUCK YEAH! Let’s do it!”
More sex, better sex, happier us?
Why the fuck WOUDLN’T we do this?
Good question.
Why wouldn’t anyone?
Fear. Unhealed pain and trauma. Not knowing what they don’t know.
Ironically, these are all things that can be beautifully healed in the container of a conscious, alchemical, gourmet, Anami-style relationship.
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HOW TO HAVE AND FRAME “THE CONVERSATION”
Whichever category you are in, it’s important to frame the conversation positively.
You can say that you found my work and you’re really excited to explore these new things.
- Did you know that all women can orgasm? And they can have vaginal—G-Spot, squirting and cervical orgasms? I want to master these for you!
- Did you know that semen is an antidepressant? This woman thinks that I ought to be eating your come every day.
- Did you know that the state of a normal vagina is to be able to shoot ping pong balls? Every vagina can!
- Did you know that men are multi-orgasmic too? And that they can learn to separate orgasm from ejaculation?
- Don’t you want more blow job/s??
- I’d really love to become an expert cocksucker.
- This woman says that periods and menopause are supposed to get you high and they aren’t mean to be painful or difficult AT ALL
- Birth is meant to be the biggest orgasm of your life
- Your erection can last for hours—even as a 60 and 70-year-old!
- Having amazing sex is a fantastic weight loss tool. No need for Ozempic!
- Having a strong vagina gets rid of the need for Botox
- Did you know nipple-gasms are a thing?
- Men can orgasm from their asshole. How cool is that?
- This woman talks about sex being a pathway to God!
The key themes here are that:
- You want to uplevel the relationship and boost everything for the long haul
- We don’t know what we don’t know. Did YOU know about all of those things I just listed out?
- We’re aware that we need to put effort into all other areas of our lives: career, our health, fitness. This is one more place for us to keep learning and growing together
LET THE PODCAST DO THE TALKING FOR YOU
One of the best ways to introduce people to my work is to invite them to listen to my Orgasmic Enlightenment podcast.
You can listen together, or you can send them episodes to listen to on their own.
I say the things poetically and bluntly in the podcast that might feel like too much for you to say YET.
And, you have the added buffer of ME saying them, rather than YOU saying them.
My goal is for you to have a fully open and honest relationship where ANYTHING can and ought to be expressed.
But I’m happy to be the messenger in the meantime!
If you go to this episode page on my site, which is:
kimanami.com/invitepartner
I’ve made a list of episodes that are great summaries of my philosophy as well as conversation starters that you can give to your male or female partner to listen to on their own, and ones that you can listen to together and then discuss afterwards.
Feel free to peruse the podcast and choose whatever draws you.
We’re into the sixth season now, so there’s over 200 episodes to choose from, plus my YouTube channel library.
On the YouTube channel, the videos are also divided into playlists like Vaginal Kung Fu, Coming Together for Couples and Sexual Mastery for Men.
WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU INVITE AND THE CALL IS NOT ANSWERED
So let’s say you invite your partner onto this journey with you or at the very least, to check out some podcasts and they are resistant.
Either they reject the idea outright, or they acquiesce in the moment, but don’t follow through on anything.
Then you have a couple of choices.
First off, YOU listen to the podcast episodes “One Person Wants to Grow” which is Season 1, Episode 14, and “Should I Stay or Should I Go?” which is Season 4, Episode 34.
In these, I talk about how if you invite your partner and they don’t follow along, the first step is to pull back your energy and focus on your own journey.
And then you take next steps from there.
I break it all down in these episodes.
Secondly, if you’ve had this conversation before—and even several times—then you have some decisions to make.
I’d start with a “shit or get off the pot” talk.
Meaning, you be very clear.
“This is where I’m at. This is the kind of relationship I want—and NEED.
You are either on this journey with me or it’s time we went on our own separate journeys.”
Some people really need that kick in the ass.
In the episode: “My Cock Doubled in Size”, which is Season 6, Episode 24, Ethan shares how his wife gave him a clear ultimatum.
“You either get onboard with this, or I’m out.”
Ethan chose to get onboard, and not only saved his marriage, but got a giant cock out of the deal.
Win, win, wouldn’t you say?
He also talks about:
– Going from “constant nagging to daily shagging”
- Lasting 2-10 minutes in bed to being able to go for an hour, within weeks
- How he went from beta boy to masculine man
- And manifesting a salary raise of double!
All because he decided to throw his heart and cock into his woman.
I’m a big fan of the ultimatum, because it’s honest.
So long as you mean it, and you’re being authentic when you make it.
You are articulating the truth of:
“We’re on our last legs here. If we BOTH show up and commit to this, we may be able to save us. But if not, we’re done. I can’t go and won’t go on like this.”
THE ONLY ANSWER TO AN INVITATION TO GROW
The ONLY acceptable answer to the invitation to expand and grow in your relationship is:
“Fuck yes!”
Who wouldn’t want to grow closer, have blissful orgasms and be madly, wildly in love on the daily?
FUCK YES!
Do you want to grow a bigger cock?
FUCK YES!
Do you want to have cervical orgasms every day and radiate well-fucked beauty?
FUCK YES!
Do you want to lose those extra 20 pounds of old baggage through our transformational orgasms, which burn away debris and residue in the alchemical fire?
FUCK YES!
When you invite your partner to more growth and pleasure, it ought to be something that EXCITES them.
Honestly, it should never be about pulling teeth.
Again, if you ARE in this situation, check out my episodes “One Person Wants to Grow” and “Should I Stay or Should I Go?”
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I’ll make one more note about people who might have their feelings hurt or be insulted that you think they could be doing better in bed.
Yeah, they could be.
Everyone could be.
That’s the point.
There’s always another level to go.
There is always something more to learn and discover.
All of the things I listed are high-level, sexual self-actualization.
Worthy goals for anyone and everyone.
So say FUCK yes and demand a FUCK yes.
Because it’s the only game in town.
FUCK YES! Thank You Kim!!
I am having the conversation!