From Painful Sex to Squirting + F**king All Over the House TRANSCRIPT

Squirting is one of the sexual holy grails for women.
The stuff of legends.
In today’s episode, Vanessa shares her transformation from sex-fearing Christian and non-self toucher to squirting, yoni-sunning and vaginal orgasm queen.
She’s gone from never having touched her own vagina and having it feel like “shards of glass” when she tried, to leaving pee pads in every room so she and her husband can f*ck and squirt all over the house.
Kids happily playing?
Let’s dash into the bedroom and squirt it all out.
She also experienced:
- Her breasts becoming fuller
- Well-f**ked weight loss: “Lose belly fat overnight!”
- Manifesting cash through sex dates. She and her husband even tried an experiment to see how much they could manifest after each sexual encounter.
- Finding her “take no shit” voice in her vagina
- Getting wet only from the sound of his voice
So how does someone go from being in extreme vaginal pain to having exquisite pleasure and orgasms?
Here are five things she did to get there.
From Painful Sex to Squirting All Over the House Tip #1: She used the jade yoni egg.
The jade egg is a beautiful—and essential—tool for all women for self-exploration.
It can be used at various stages of your growth:
It de-numbs when you can’t feel anything, waking up every millimeter of your vagina so that it becomes a thousand points of light.
If you have a vagina-on-lockdown, it’s a very gentle and self-administered way to reduce that anxiety and open from pain to pleasure.
Our Well-Fucked All Star Katie shares how she used almost exclusively the egg as her main tool her healing past sexual trauma.
You can listen to her story in the episode Healing Sexual Trauma with the Jade Yoni Egg.
She was also someone who couldn’t put her fingers in her own vagina and now is gushing and orgasming all over the place.
Since the jade yoni egg strengthens your vaginal muscles and increases sensation, this is your number one tool for getting to deep vaginal orgasms.
As you exercise with the egg, you build your muscles and generate oxygen flow in your tissues.
Circulation = lubrication.
What was once a barren desert becomes a waterfall of lubrication, squirting AND ejaculation.
So yeah. Every woman ought to have a jade egg!
From Painful Sex to Squirting All Over the House Tip #2: She took my Anami Crystal Elixirs.
The one she used is called Luscious.
These are vibrational remedies that I created to help people with their inner work.
Confronting their demons, alchemizing their trauma, opening their hearts and healing on deeper emotional, mental and spiritual levels.
The crystals in the Luscious trinity elixirs include rhodochrosite, which is considered to be the most effective crystal on the planet for healing sexual abuse.
They also contains pink calcite, which connects the heart and cervix and helps to excavate trauma.
And pearl, which takes the grains of sand in your life and transforms them into pearls of beauty and wisdom.
A huge component of all the deeper orgasms for women is being able to open, surrender and let go of control.
From Painful Sex to Squirting All Over the House Tip #3: She sunned her yoni.
We’re big fans of genital sunning around here!
Which is exactly what it sounds like: getting sun where the sun don’t normally shine.
Even five minutes a day gives you a beautiful dose of yang energy and has been shown to have a beneficial effect on sex hormone production, particularly in testosterone building—which both men and women have and need.
Vanessa tells one of my favourite stories ever about yoni sunning and why it was so beneficial for her.
From Painful Sex to Squirting All Over the House Tip #4: Learning to surrender
The most important sexual skill for women isn’t learning how to rub your clitoris or how many fingers are ideal to stimulate your G-Spot.
It’s surrender.
Being able to let go of control.
Allowing yourself to be vulnerable and to be seen.
These are the keys to the queendom for all the deep vaginal orgasms: G-Spot, squirting and cervical.
They are all tied to deep emotional and spiritual catharsis.
Being unwound, undone, and fucked open.
If you can’t let go and jump into the abyss, you’ll never get there.
No matter how much “correct technique” you think you have.
In my work, we go into these deeper layers of the self, to remove the blockages and fear that hold you back from truly exposing yourself.
Daring to be raw and open and without constant protection.
It’s not a fun way to live.
The most pleasure—and orgasms—are found when you live with an open heart and vagina.
She started with VKF and then did How to Be a Well-F**ked Woman later that year.
She was determined to reconnect with her vagina and heal.
She showed up and did the work and the play.
She took radical self-responsibility.
This is the idea that YOU are responsible for your own healing.
Even if you’ve gone through trauma, and had things “done” to you, then you have two choices.
You can remain in a state of victimhood, lamenting your fate.
Or you seize the reins and do whatever repair work it’s going to take to optimize your life.
The Anami Guarantee is that EVERYONE can.
No matter what age or stage, no matter what trauma or beliefs you’ve absorbed, you can be a salacious, lubricating, ejaculating, multi-orgasmic, ping-pong ball shooting sexual superstar.
Let’s hear from Vanessa about her journey.
VANESSA WELL-F**KED ALL STAR INTERVIEW
KIM: Welcome, Vanessa. It is a pleasure to have you here. Thank you so much for coming on the show.
VANESSA: An absolute honor, Kim, finally meeting you and seeing you and having personal time with you. Thank you.
KIM: You have been in Anami Land for a couple of years now. You started with VKF, Vaginal Kung Fu, and then you moved on to the Well-F**ked Woman Salon. Tell us what brought you into this work initially.
VANESSA: It was a random find on Instagram. I said, “What on earth is Vaginal Kung Fu?” That piqued my interest. I said, “I’m going to click on the link and see where this takes me.” I think, universally and energetically, I was ready to step into this unknown space.
Never Touched Her Own Vagina Before:
I had never touched my vagina before that. I was very scared and skeptical of all the things because of my religious upbringing. I was brought up as a strict Christian.
Anyway, I clicked on the link, bought the salon, and started. The jade egg kit came, and then I decided to do a yoni egg practice before the salon started. I said, “Let me just put it in and see what this is going to give me.”
The first time I inserted it, it was like blades and knives poking my vagina, cutting. And I just screamed. I said, “This has to come out of me right now.” I had the thread attached to it and I almost yanked it out. I didn’t care to push it out. I just said, “This needs to come out now.” I was full-on in fear and too much pain.
Then I forced myself to do the salon because I said, “This is bullshit.” [Laughs] Because your Instagram talked about all the pleasure and things you would feel.
KIM: When you had that physical sensation, did you think the egg was hurting you, or did you have any sense that this might be psychosomatic, some kind of trauma residue, like a visceral reaction from the body? What was going through your mind?
VANESSA: I am aware of the trauma I have, and I’d been doing some work around it, so I knew it was something trauma-related or that I just wasn’t ready for. I knew there was something more to it; it wasn’t just the egg, but I was really mad at the egg. [Laughs] On the flip side, I was really mad that this completely smooth surface was jabbing me and cutting me. I wondered what was going on. “I don’t think this is how it’s supposed to feel.”
From Painful Sex to Squirting All Over the House Tip: Yoni Sunning
I did the salon and implemented all the other practices. I kind of shut down to put the egg back in me for a long time after the salon. But what really spoke to me was sunning your bum or your vagina. I loved that so much. Throughout the salon, that’s what I did the most. I refused to touch myself. I only okayed my husband touching me.
But the sun was something that just made me start oozing; I would start getting wet. I said, “What is going on? Is it sweat?” But it wasn’t. It was thicker and more like mucus. I thought, “What is happening? Why is this coming out?” I did the meditation and said, “Okay, mentally, I’m just not ready. How can I prepare myself for this physical experience?”
A full year later, I decided to go back to the egg. I thought, “Okay, I’m going to start really slowly.” I remember Katie, one of the podcast women, said, “Only 10 seconds, 30 seconds,” and eventually I did the same thing.
KIM: So I’ll just explain here. Katie was someone who had a history of sexual trauma as well, and she had a lot of anxiety around using the jade egg. She literally set the timer where one day she would put the egg in for 30 seconds and she would breathe through it, allow emotions and feelings and sensations to come up, and then stop. Then the next day she would do it for, say, a minute, and she would go through the same process until she got to the place where she was fully open and orgasmic, and her vagina was a pleasure center. Before that, she’d been unable to even touch herself.
You’ve talked about this very slow exposure—some might even consider the sun to be yang, male energy—to that and being penetrated by it, doing yoni sunning, and allowing that energy into you in the gentlest, subtlest way so you could integrate that.
VANESSA: That’s what I needed to begin with. Something that wasn’t touching me, but also penetrating at the same time.
KIM: Which is an oxymoron.
VANESSA: Right! [Laughs]
KIM: What exactly is that? That’s a riddle.
VANESSA: Yes. And then the egg, I took that even slower. For me it was just five seconds. Sometimes it was just a quick finger, a dip in and out. I would just massage around and let it be. Everything hurt. I couldn’t stretch, couldn’t move. Everything was just around my pelvis. Yeah, that whole area, inner thighs, outer thighs, hips, was all bad.
I started doing the yoni egg practice, and I would do the first three of the four you’ve given us, the fourth one being the standing one. I would do rotations between the first three, but then I realized that wasn’t working, so I would just do one at a time for one full month.
I’d just take the first practice and do it every day for one month. Then when I was ready, I would switch to another one every day for another month.
I kept doing that. Every month I was changing up the routine, but I just kept it at one practice.
KIM: That’s very dedicated. Every day for a month and then switching. You said you started at five seconds or a finger; you inserted the egg and then you took it out. I guess you slowly built up. Yeah?
VANESSA: Yeah. It came from an understanding that I had a fear of letting go and needing control, even though I had the string attached to the egg. I was so scared of thinking that I had to release an object into my vagina that I couldn’t. I held onto the string with a death grip. “You will come up when I’m done. You will not be staying there. You won’t get lost.” [Laughs] All the things.
I think four and a half months into doing that regularly, without missing a day, I had my first squirting orgasm. I started everything in April of this year, and some months later, there was an explosion. [Laughs] I said, “Did I just pee? What the fuck happened?” [Laughs] I was embarrassed with myself. I was alone. I said, “Oh my God, I’ve got to change all the sheets.” All the things started reeling in my brain. I said, “This is what she’s talking about.”
And then I had a conversation with you. I said, “Damn you, Kim, look what just happened. Thank you, Kim! I’m finally feeling the things that you’ve been talking about.” Yeah.
KIM: Damn, Kim? Why damn you, Kim?
VANESSA: Because I got scared, I think, when I exploded in the way I did. I said, “What is going on?” I said, “I have to talk to Kim.” I started hyperventilating. I didn’t know what was happening. I said, “Okay, just take a breath. You got this. It’s fine.”
KIM: Why were you saying to damn Kim?
VANESSA: [Laughs] It was just something that came out. It made me realize I was in this cycle of needing to blame someone for something I didn’t understand or take it out on someone.
KIM: When you were squirting? Why? Why then?
VANESSA: I got scared of my own squirting. I didn’t understand what was happening at the time. I said, “Huh. Is this what’s supposed to happen?” Then, as I did more of the program, especially WFW, I understood better that this was okay, natural, and supposed to happen. It’s one of the gateways to travel through. And then it was peaceful. [Laughs] There was no fear. But I came from so much fear.
KIM: Maybe just fear of uncertainty, something new, the unknown.
We talk about how squirting is a type of vaginal orgasm where women come upon this impasse or this crevasse where they have to dive into the void. A lot of women will retract back and then not make it over the edge into vaginal orgasms, but when they do, that is when they make it through to the promised land.
VANESSA: Yeah. Oh my God, promises, abundant promises. After that, I continued on. I kept doing the egg practice.
From Painful Sex to Squirting All Over the House Tip: Every single time I did the yoni egg practice, I would squirt. There was no stopping it.
I could feel it build up while the egg was in me, and I said, “Just hold it—you have one or two more reps to go. It’s going to come, it’s happening, just give it a minute.” [Laughs]
Sometimes I would actually have to stop my egg practice and release it, and the egg would come out, and I’d have to continue the egg practice after. So that was a thing.
Out-of-Body Experience Orgasms:
Then I also remember the first time I squirted with my husband, my whole body started shaking. I was almost crying myself off the bed. I had this massive out-of-body experience. I couldn’t control anything. He just had to hold me tight because I was shaking uncontrollably. I felt cold, I felt scared, and I couldn’t stop. I said, “Something is happening on the inside. What do I do?” [Taking deep breaths] Then he just kept reminding me, “Slow your breath down. I’m here. We got this. It’s okay.” And I just sobbed. I ugly cried. I’ve never ugly cried in front of him. That was a whole other level of ugly crying.
Supercharged After the Yoni Egg Practice: “What do I do with all this energy!?”
KIM: Then how did you feel afterward?
VANESSA: Oh my gosh, I had to get up and go for a run. I said, “Something’s going on. I don’t know what to do with all this energy.” I felt like steam was coming off my head. So I did. That was the first time I had run in three and a half years.
KIM: And how was the run?
VANESSA: Oh, I was so light on my feet. My ankles didn’t hurt. My knees didn’t hurt. My hips were flying out.
There’s a point in running, if you do it long enough, where you feel like you’re floating off the ground. That’s how I felt. I hadn’t felt that since I was 19. [Laughs]
KIM: When you said you hadn’t run in three and a half years, was it because you were having issues with all these body parts that you just mentioned? You said your knees and your ankles and your hips.
VANESSA: Yeah. After my second baby, things took a downhill turn in terms of how my body was healing and the way it was putting itself back together. With her, I did a home birth, zero medication. All I got was a cool cloth on my neck. [Laughs] I screamed so loud I saw a blue-white light going through me and a voice telling me, “Everything is going to change. Your body is going to heal. Everything you have hidden is going to come up to the surface.”
Ever since having her, I’ve been on a bedrest, kind of handicap healing journey, if you will. I’ve had to completely dial down my life, not amp it up. For the first two years, I didn’t listen. I said, “I’m going to amp it up and do all the things I normally do.” Then when VKF happened, I realized, “You have to stop all your crap. You are hurting your body more than you’re helping it. Everything has to stop.” And so that’s what I did.
KIM: Then after that squirting orgasm, your energy was aligned and back?
From Painful Sex to Squirting All Over the House Tip: Anami Crystal Elixirs to Transform Trauma:
VANESSA: Oh man, it was just like “This is what normal feels like.” I had no idea what normal felt like ever since I was a teenager, because I’ve had multiple injuries. I had a frozen right ankle. This work, the jade egg, has opened up my ankle. I can’t even explain my hips. The elixirs just broke through when I did the meditation that you sent with them.
KIM: You’re mentioning elixirs, so let’s explain to people what those are. I made a whole series of accessories in my Anami Alchemia Shop that were created to help people as companions to their sexual healing journey, especially in my online salons, although the shop is available for anyone to buy things.
You took a particular one called Luscious. It’s got different crystals in it, rhodochrosite, clear quartz, and pink calcite, and pearl. The combination is designed to help people work through sexual abuse and trauma, to activate the cervix all the way up to the crown chakra. Also to help women really own their beauty and sensuality and their feminine energy.
It’s in our Deep Healer Series, and it works as an excavating tool to help you go deep and potentially stir up things that have been lingering in the tissues in our body and our bone marrow. It brings those up to the surface so they can be illuminated and alchemized and healed.
You took two rounds of that trilogy of Luscious during this work. So tell us your impression of how that amplified the process.
VANESSA: My whole right side is kind of jammed shut, and I don’t have much motion around there. When I took the elixirs the first time, my lower back on the right side just broke. I had this really bad catch at the gym. I had to walk out very slowly, and for two weeks, through a lot of chiropractic work and massages, I had to undo it.
During those two weeks, I did the Luscious meditation every day, and I kept taking the elixirs. I was in the process of the 21 days. The image that came to me was a wrecking ball destroying a building. The moment everything crumbled from that building, there was a field of yellow flowers. I don’t know why yellow specifically, but there were just yellow flowers everywhere. Every time the ball hit the building and everything fell, tons of flowers bloomed all over the place and then the voice said, “This is what’s going to happen. More growth is coming through. Something is breaking down.”
That was the full-on, very hard two and a half weeks, because I have two kids and, I heard, “You are done. You have to rest. No more overworking and pushing. Over, over, over.” And then my body just did it for me. I literally couldn’t move for two weeks.
That was the first time I understood, without shaming myself, what actual rest means. What it is to rest and just be and let the house get dirty, let the kids be dirty or messy. Let it go. Let it just be.
KIM: It sounds like your higher self and your body were communicating to you. With people who’ve had severe trauma or trauma, period, unless they have the awareness, or somebody around them has the awareness to help them to stop, drop, address it, heal it, and integrate it, then they just keep going.
A lot of times people’s own antidote is just getting busier and burying something further and further beneath the surface. And do you think perhaps the message of stillness was to allow things to come up to the surface?
From Painful Sex to Squirting All Over the House Tip: The Body Doesn’t Lie:
VANESSA: 100%. Because all my life, I did the mental work, the talk therapy, and I’d done all those things for years.
But then there comes a point where they say the body doesn’t lie. Once you tap into that part of your healing, you have to face it. There’s no other way. Because the pain comes up, the excavation happens, the destruction happens for new reconstruction, and it just goes on and on and on. There’s no stopping it.
When that happened, it was kind of like an avalanche, but in a good way, of me needing to see all the things I had distracted myself from, overworked through, and just didn’t want to face. With the jade egg, I started crying. I never used to cry. That was a definite “Damn you, Kim,” [laughs] in the most loving way though. I said, “You’re making me cry!”
But I just cry now. I don’t stop it. If it comes, it comes. My kids ask, “Mommy, are you okay? Why are you crying?” I say, “This is just happening. My body is releasing something.” I’m very honest with them and open.
I want to segue into my kids for a second. When I did the yoni sunning, they were so inquisitive. “Ooh, look at your bum. Is this where your poop comes out from? Is this where the baby comes out?” I say this because it felt so innocent. For the first time in my life, no one looked at my vagina in a sexual, “I want something from it. I’m going to hurt it,” kind of way.
They were so curious. “Mommy, can we touch it? Mommy, why do you have so much hair?” Just all these questions and it was so sweet. I was literally legs wide open, giving them a little science lesson of, “This is the labia. This is the vagina.”
Now all three of us sun our bums together. They’re seven and four.
KIM: Oh, I love it!
VANESSA: “Mom, the sun is out. It’s calling your yoni! Your labia are waiting!” [Laughs] Even sometimes by the park and the playground in the bright sun, they’ll say, “Mom, your labia,” and point to the sun. I’ll say, “Oh my God, kids, everyone doesn’t really understand.” Two moms did give me weird looks. I said, “No, no, no, shh, come on, we’ll do this in the house. Don’t be too loud.” It’s so funny.
But they love sunning their bums. Now if they see any sun through a window, their underwear is off and they open their legs. And I’ll do it too. I’ve learned how to drop everything and go and do something that is pleasurable and restful without needing to attach any guilt or shame or “I didn’t do enough work around it,” because they are leading the way for me in that sense. That has really helped.
KIM: I love that! That is so beautiful, that whole story. I’ve never heard anything like that before in terms of people’s experiences with genital sunning, but I think that’s now my favorite story.
Talking to Her Daughter About The Jade Yoni Egg:
VANESSA: [Laughs] Oh my God, my kids. And they even saw the egg one day and said, “What is this?” And I said, “I put this in my vagina.” They said, “What? Does it even fit? Does it hurt you?” I said, “Do you see Mommy do exercise in the Pilates room?” I’m a Pilates instructor and I teach from my home. “Do you see Mommy do exercise for her arms and legs? This is for my vagina on the inside to make it strong and to keep it happy.” They said, “Can we do it one day?” I said, “Absolutely, you can.” And they said, “We cannot wait.” They’ll touch the egg. They’ll hold it.
Especially my four-year-old. She will always stare at it. She’ll want to play with it. I just let them.
We have to be comfortable in our own sexuality to help our kids, and this is helping encourage so much honesty and openness with them. It’s so sweet and precious. It’s healing me, because I was very closed, don’t say anything, don’t speak, don’t show yourself, don’t have an opinion. I was like that my whole life.
Now my kids, they’re the complete opposite of me. I have to match their energy. I don’t see it any other way. All this healing has helped so much.
KIM: That is so beautiful and such a great example of when you use those opportunities when your children are naturally curious to be really honest and authentic with them, and they take in that information. And then that’s going to set them up for such a different experience with their bodies and their own reproductive lives. You’ve created this full openness, no shame, no secrecy, no negativity. It’s all really positive and health-focused. So wonderful. Well done, Mama.
VANESSA: Oh, thank you. Yeah, it’s going so well. They love it. [Laughs]
KIM: We have this joke where we talk about the “two-pump chump” in men’s stamina. We are encouraging them to build more stamina, and guys who are premature ejaculators, we’ll call two-pump chumps, especially when they’re just not motivated to really work on it.
But you call yourself a four-pump chump. Explain what the significance of that is.
VANESSA: So we finished a session, my husband and I, and I said, “I feel like a four-pump chump.” I need nothing now to just have these squirting orgasms happen.” And he had such a laugh about it. We both laughed.
From Painful Sex to Squirting All Over the House Tip: The Perpetual Sexual Simmer:
KIM: So you can come very quickly. In Anami Land, we talk about living at the sexual simmer, where your libido, your desire, is existing in what we consider the normal baseline here in Anami land, at an eight-plus. So it doesn’t take tons of foreplay and effort and exertion to get you to this place of orgasm. You’re hovering in this perpetual, erotic, aroused state in your life. You’re feeling that energy humming all the time so that when you do become sexual, it’s right there.
Getting Wet from the Sound of His Voice:
VANESSA: It is. Sometimes he will just say, “I’m finishing a meeting—go wait for me in the room.” That’s all that’s needed. I am just dripping already. Oh my God! I didn’t realize that’s all it took sometimes.
Then this one time I was waiting for him with my pants down, bent over on the bed before he even came in, and it was all dripping and ready. I said, “Oh my God, I’m not ready! He’s not even here!” [Laughs] Holding it in. So funny.
F**king and Squirting All Over The House:
But yeah, so he would literally sometimes just do four thrusts, no warm-up, no foreplay, no nothing. We would just go straight for it. He was also ready. I said, “Oh my God, it’s happening already! What the fuck?” He said, “That’s great! Let it go, let it happen.”
Because it was happening so quickly, we decided to buy these reusable, absorbent sheets that people use in senior living. They put them on the beds so you can literally pour a whole bucket of water on it, and it absorbs everything.
KIM: Handy for you.
VANESSA: [Laughs] And we keep two of them in every room because we don’t know which room we fancy going in and which one is available because we have our kids around. Then we always have the sheets ready.
My husband says, “I’m so motivated to do laundry now,” which has never been the case. [Laughs] Because he wants the sheets ready to go, he will do the laundry for us. It’s so sweet.
That’s how the four-pump chump name came along. He said, “I’m Googling. Get the sheets ready; we’re doing this.” [Laughs]
KIM: That’s amazing. I love that. The best possible definition of a four-pump chump.
As these experiences and breakthroughs happen sexually for us, we talk so much about the parallel between the Well-F**ked Woman and the Well-F**ked life. What did you see happen in your outer life in terms of changes and transformations that you would say are connected to opening up and shedding these inhibitions, finding that unstoppable flow that you’ve experienced? How did that show up in your outer life?
VANESSA: It felt like a dam releasing because I had so much pent-up stuff. The first thing I noticed was my physical symptoms. My breasts started getting plumper and fuller, and I said, “I’m doing a pregnancy test,” because that’s the only other time my breasts have been full. That was one of the pregnancy symptoms, but I wasn’t pregnant. I would do them regularly every month, thinking I was pregnant because—
KIM: Doing a pregnancy test every month?
VANESSA: Yeah. Because I said, “What is happening? Why is this happening? Where is the fullness coming from?” Sometimes some of my bras didn’t fit. They grew, I think. Some of my clothes didn’t fit. I said, “What is going on?” So that was the first thing I noticed.
The other thing was losing weight around my belly. I was one of those people who gathered a lot of weight on my belly, but my arms and legs were really skinny. The hardness around my belly started to soften with every squirting ejaculation, and that was another thing I noticed. There was no hard anything around my belly.
After that, I noticed I had more courage to face situations and people, things I did not have a voice for and courage for before. Then it opened out to my extended family and my work. And people on the street.
Then the big one was money and opportunities coming in and how that played out. There’s a funny story. Can I tell it?
KIM: Of course.
VANESSA: We have this car that my husband wanted to rent just to make some extra money for us and I said, “It’s a bad idea.”
KIM: Rent out your car, you mean?
VANESSA: Rent out the car, yes. I had just done VKF, and I said, “You know what? I’m going to put this to the test. Let’s see if all this is true.” [Laughs] Because part of me was still skeptical. I said, “Okay, I’m going to meditate about getting a booking for the rental, and let’s have sex based on that thought and intention.”
And literally, every time we had sex, we would get two to three bookings easily after each session.
So then I said, “Okay, let’s test this a little bit more. Let’s not have sex for a whole week and see if we get any bookings.” No bookings. It was insane. I said, “What is going on? Kim?” [Laughs] We always talk to you, my husband and I. [Laughs]
And so my husband got really curious about all the changes I was going through physically, mentally, and energetically. He decided to do Sexual Mastery for Men, and he’s in it now. I think it just ended.
So we are just having great sex and getting more money. We’ve been getting a lot of opportunities to change up our lifestyle and to plug where we’ve been leaking financially, emotionally, and energetically. Your work is not just one area; it’s all-encompassing. If one area starts to show, everything is going to start to show.
Because I was changing so much physically and mentally, the financial aspect just came in like a train. We were in so much debt. We just couldn’t afford certain things. We couldn’t go on vacations and holidays. It was very reflective of my mental and physical state.
KIM: Blockage. Blockage.
Energy Leaks and Money Leaks:
VANESSA: Tons of blockage. Now that we’re clearing things and plugging the leaks, so much is opening up. We’re saying, “What do we do with all these things?” We have this choice and that choice. We just wanted one option. But now we have ten choices. We have money coming in to clear all our debts. We’re not working any extra, but it’s showing up. He’s getting bonuses at work. He’s going to get a promotion at the end of this year.
I thought, okay, so the money is coming in in this way. This is what she’s talking about. We were expecting manna to fall from heaven and get a basket and start collecting. And it’s happening. We haven’t reached the fixed point yet, but we’re very much plugging all our leaks, allotting our finances toward all our debt clearing, opening up opportunities to work. That’s the phase we’re in right now, with all our opportunities.
KIM: That’s amazing.
I love that. And that symbolic language of the blocks and leakages. When we’re disassociated, which is connected to trauma, and we become whole and we occupy all of these parts of ourselves, we start to shore up these energetic leaks.
For women, they can often be literal leaks, where they’re leaking urine. They have urinary incontinence because they can’t generate the support within themselves or an ownership of these body parts, and energy and fluid are literally leaking out of them.
I love how you described it—that’s what abundance really is. It’s even more than you can imagine, more than you could have conceived of, because there’s a survival mindset of just enough and not being in debt, which is a really common mindset in North America. It’s the norm. But there are many levels beyond that of true abundance.
VANESSA: We seem to be getting through those layers one at a time, and we suddenly now know that there are more ways to think and open ourselves up to in terms of money and life experiences and other ways of living and existing internally with integrity and openness and honesty. Things start coming to you. I think that was the key for me specifically because I was extremely shut down, disassociated, and highly traumatized from sexual abuse, tons of emotional abuse, and yeah. It was a complete 360 or 180. All the things. [Laughs]
KIM: Beautiful. Is there anything else you’d like to add that was part of your transformative experience or that highlights where you were and where you’ve come to?
Partners Being Inspired by the Work and Results to do Their Own:
VANESSA: After I did VKF, my husband was so fascinated with all the changes I’d been going through that he said, “What is this?” So I said, “The next program is Coming Together—let’s do that.” We did three weeks of that, and it completely crashed for us. We said, “This is not working,” because he was not fully open.
And so, okay, we needed to do our separate things first and then come back for Coming Together. That’s when he chose Sexual Mastery, and I did WFW this year. Now we’re going to do Coming Together this coming year. That helped massively with his blocks and his leaks. We’ll bring our transformations into Coming Together. It’s completely different.
KIM: I talk about how in partnership, in relationship, we have three entities. There’s you, me, and the entity of the relationship itself. Each of those thirds needs to be there to have a successful, gourmet-style, off-the-charts, Anami Land relationship. Each of us needs to be doing our part. You’re doing your work, I’m doing mine, and we’re working on the relationship collectively as its own entity.
I love what you’re saying because that speaks to the idea that everyone has to be pulling their weight.
VANESSA: Yes. And the radical responsibility part that you talk about. Because I only ever knew sex as, “It’s all him. It’s all up to him. If I have to feel any pleasure, it’s all his.” But you taught me how to take responsibility for my own pleasure, and now I know it’s up to me and what I bring to the table, and I get to share my pleasure with him once I’ve experienced it.
That really spoke to me, and now we’re coming together in such a different way. He comes ready on his own, not thinking, “Oh yeah, quickly give me a blow job and then we’ll begin.” It’s not like that. He first takes care of me and then, because he does it in such an open way, I’m ready to give back. We bounce off each other’s energies like that and we have such great sessions. Yeah, it’s so good.
Kim says “Dick” and “Pussy” a lot:
I mentioned this program to some of my friends and they got on Instagram, and they were overwhelmed with all the dick and pussy language because they’re not used to hearing it so much.
But I would urge anyone who’s resisting to please push through because the meat and the juiciness of Kim’s work is in the salon. Don’t get overwhelmed with Instagram too much. It’s all in the work, and it’s everything. Everything.
More on Luscious Anami Crystal Elixir Healing:
KIM: What was the elixir experience like for you?
From Painful Sex to Squirting All Over the House Tip: Gotta Sore Throat? Suck a Dick:
VANESSA: So when I started taking them, I immediately also started the meditations that come with them. I noticed my throat was getting very dry and itchy at first. Then I realized there was something that needed to be done, so I went to do my blow jobs. [Laughs] And that kind of eased the dry itchiness I was feeling.
I would feel a thick kind of mucus every time I did a blow job, and I continued the elixirs, and then it went away.
After my lower back opened out and burst at the gym, the second layer was up through my sternum and my midsection. I have a twisted spine through my center. And it untwisted. No doctor in my whole life has done that. I have gone to so many doctors. I still go to one chiropractor who I’ve been going to for four years. But not one doctor has untwisted my spine.
I don’t know what’s in the elixirs, Kim, but they’re absolute magic. My spine has completely untwisted. I had a big accident or something when I was 12. Nothing could untwist it. And everything is changing. The way I hold myself has changed. My voice has changed. The way I show up has changed. I’m manifesting, bringing things to life that I couldn’t do before. It was just always stuck in a twist.
KIM: Wow. Powerful. Is there anything else that you would like to share?
Processing a Miscarriage from the Lens of Self-responsibility:
VANESSA: I had a miscarriage and did your Sexy Mama Salon, and that’s been a whole other journey for me in terms of speaking to my baby and why I miscarried. I was going to run to doctors and midwives, and I pulled myself back from it and said, “No, I am resourced. I have all the tools. I’ll keep listening to the videos.” I have chosen now not to see any doctor. They recommended a D&C. “You’ve got to do an ultrasound to check if there’s any residue left.” I said, “No.”
Yoni Steaming Post Miscarriage:
I’ve been yoni steaming for 30 days straight since my miscarriage. I’m waiting on my first period since then because it happened recently. While I do have doubts creeping up every now and then, I just put them to rest by doing the yoni massage or an egg practice or bringing out my crystal dildo. That has been a whole other transformation. I’ve been learning about where I am unhealthy and what needs to change so this third child will happen.
I’ve been doing all the things, taking all the supplements, changing up my lifestyle, sleeping more, exercising more, and it’s working. And I haven’t outsourced. That’s what I’m trying to get at. I did not outsource. This baby said, “You have to find what’s not working and why I couldn’t stay.” It was a massive, eye-opening moment for me, and I said, “I have to pull my shit together; otherwise this is not going to happen.”
KIM: That’s amazing. I think we ought to do another episode and talk more deeply about that because a lot of people experience miscarriages. And to come out of it with an empowered viewpoint and to really take it as a stepping stone is unusual and such a great thing. I think it would be inspiring for a lot of people.
Thank you so much for doing this. You’ve had a lot of great stories to share and to inspire others. It’s been a pleasure to have you here, Vanessa.
VANESSA: Thank you so much, Kim. I’m looking forward to being back. [Laughs]
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Vaginal Kung Fu is open for registration NOW and it closes January 31st at midnight PST.
In the salon, you’ll become a maestro of all things vaginal and sexual.
You’ll learn:
- My step-by-step guided vaginal weight lifting routine with the jade yoni egg.
- Yoni massage to de-numb and activate your vagina
- Quantum techniques to clear your blocks and illuminate your sexual shadow
- Breast massage techniques to tone, lift and enlarge the breasts
- Natural birth control and detoxing off The Pill
- How to make menstruation and menopause the energizing and rejuvenating portals they were meant to be
- How to give a vaginal handjob
- How to use your sexual energy to heal yourself, including my sex position mood guide.
To signup for the salon go to Vaginal Kung Fu.