Healing Sexual Trauma TRANSCRIPT
In today’s episode we’re diving right in with our epic all star interview.
Katie has so perfectly illustrated the process of someone self-healing from sexual abuse, that I’m going to let her share her story and then I will chime in afterwards.
This interview is amazing because she speaks to it all:
Having a history of sexual trauma, how the impact of that showed up in her body, her physical and emotional symptoms and in her overall life, and then how all of these things changed because of the inner healing she did.
In her vagina.
ALL STAR KATIE:
KIM: Welcome, Katie! So excited to have you here.
KATIE: Thank you, Kim. I’m so excited to be here with you, and I just wanted to share with you a funny story that happened as I was anticipating sitting down and speaking to you today.
Yesterday, I woke up and I had no voice. My voice was entirely gone. It felt very much spiritual and energetic because I knew I was going to sit down with you. I knew I was going to be talking to you about some deep emotional stuff, and so my voice—poof—vanished.
I sat there and I said to myself, “What would Kim Anami do?” And I knew what she would do. She would deep throat a cock. So I told my husband, “Get over here. I’m going to get my voice back,” and I have a voice today. [Laughs]
It speaks to the power of this work, that sex is really healing magic for everything that ails us.
KIM: That is so incredible. Perfect example—and what a great student. “Of course, I find the answer in my own body and use some additional cock medicine on top of that.” That’s beautiful. Well done.
KATIE: Thank you.
KIM: Let’s start out with how your vagina felt before starting this work. How would you describe yourself sexually and, in particular, your vagina?
KATIE: I feel that my vagina was completely numbed out. My vagina was disconnected, or I was disconnected from my vagina. I had no sense of her. I was living this life from my head up. There was no connection to the rest of my body.
And the worst part was that she was full of all of this sexual trauma and crying out for my attention before I started Vaginal Kung Fu. But I was not listening for 30 years. The symptoms were increasing. For example, I had really bad endometriosis, so really painful periods. Really heavy bleeding. And you know, you think that’s normal. “Oh well, I just have difficult periods in my matrilineal line, and I don’t really feel anything in my vagina, but it’s okay because I have a vibrator, so I can still have orgasms that way.”
So yeah, it was all sort of fine, except it wasn’t. Except I was deeply unhappy living that way and then I found your work. I think when I first found your work, I got this magical little sparkle that came down on me, like, “Whoa, something really important is happening here.”
But even when I found your work, at first I was totally the girl who said, “I’m going to do Well-F**ked Woman someday. But you know what? I’m not doing Vaginal Kung Fu. What is this kung fu vagina surfboard thing? With the jade eggs!” [Laughs] I’m not doing that, right?
KIM: [Laughs] Scary! The big bad scary jade egg.
KATIE: [Laughs] Yeah, right. It was this bravado that I had; even though I was suffering and you were providing an answer, why did I have this weird bravado? Because I was afraid.
And so we use these coping mechanisms to try to avoid facing all of those symptoms, all of that reality that we’re carrying.
So yeah, it was total bravado for me.
KIM: Right. And people have that initial resistance, that fear, and then whatever rationalizations emerge out of that, which we may or may not break through.
You said that you were having clitoral orgasms, and you could use the vibrator to get there. You were having sex, but did you ever touch yourself, did you ever self-pleasure, did you look at your own vagina? Could you put your fingers in your own vagina? Or was it a no-woman’s-land with that disassociation that you’ve described?
KATIE: Yeah, that was my biggest problem.
I was one of those women that you talk about who could not touch their own vagina. I was terrified to do it. I never even looked at my own vagina. It’s so crazy to think about now, but I never even looked at it.
I couldn’t touch myself because of a longstanding history of childhood sexual trauma. Whenever I would touch myself, or a partner would, on those very few occasions where I would let that happen, I would immediately have a PTSD response. I would feel nauseous. I would feel like I was going to pass out. I would feel really hot in a bad way, and I would just stop.
I would occasionally try to cross that barrier. I would try to have a partner cross that barrier.
KIM: Are you saying that even a partner couldn’t manually touch you? They could penetrate you with their cock, but they couldn’t manually touch you?
KATIE: Yep. They could not.
And that was because of the trauma that happened to me when I was a young girl. It happened with hands. Hands on me would bring back that trauma in a huge way.
I would sometimes try to cross that barrier, and then I just gave up. And I just decided that wasn’t for me, and I was never going to have that in my life, and I was just always going to be broken in this way.
I dabbled sometimes in healing things. Nothing worked. Yeah, I was just sort of resigned to it until I decided to do VKF, and I remember the day that I decided to do it. I had been devouring all of your content like a crazy person. Like a starving woman! And I was sitting there and saying, “Why? Why is this happening, Katie? Why are you devouring it to this extent? What’s going on?”
In yoga, there’s this term, the “inner spanda”, and it’s this great leaping of the heart. I would describe it as the great leaping of my vagina. She said, “You need to do this. You need to do this.”
That was the first time that I said, “Okay, I’ve tried everything else, maybe I’ll try this jade egg thing. Maybe I can actually do this and heal this. Maybe I could be at a place where I could touch myself? Is that possible for me? I’m still not sure.” I felt this willingness to try.
It was such an interesting moment when I decided to take VKF, because the pain always felt so strong, and the PTSD symptoms were so strong, and it was so involuntary, and it felt so much bigger than me.
But in that moment, when I decided that I was going to do this and go down this healing path, I tapped into this power inside me that was bigger. I believe that we all have this space inside of us that is bigger than any pain, than any trauma, that wants to heal us more than the power of the pain or the power of the trauma. If we can tap into that, that can start pulling us forward, and that’s what started pulling me forward on the beginning of that healing journey.
KIM: That’s so beautiful and such a lovely way to describe it. And it also acts as a beacon of inspiration for other people who might feel lost in that place you mentioned earlier, of despondency and just giving up. “That’s something I can’t do, obviously. There are other things I can do, and I’ll just get by with that.”
I love that you found that, and you grabbed hold of it and rode that current all the way home.
Before you go further into the transformation, I’m curious. When you did have sex, would you get wet or would you use lube? Did you enjoy it? Did you feel anything or was it more, “Well, I have a partner; they like it”? What was that like?
KATIE: It was a lot of “shoulds.”
My vagina was totally dry. I would have to use lubrication, and when I think about it now, it literally makes me cringe. All the times that I said yes to sex when it was clearly a no. I never went in and asked my vagina, are you ready?
Because we’re not trained for that. We’re trained for some dumb form of consent where it’s like, “Yes,” or “No,” or whatever. We’re not trained to actually tap into our body and say, “Hey, body, what’s up? You’re totally dry. You don’t seem into this at all. You’re saying, ‘Please get this over with.’”
If I felt anything, I felt I was using sex to feel nothing. I wanted to use sex to numb out further. That was with my partner; that was with a vibrator. It was all just about numbing out. Terrible! What kind of sex is this? What kind of life is that?
KIM: That’s so interesting. I was speaking to somebody yesterday, talking about how in my work it’s about having sex to become more conscious. In most forms of sex, including using porn or the idea to quickly just bust out an orgasm, it’s about using sex to become unconscious. To disassociate and disconnect more, which is what you are describing.
I think a lot of people unknowingly are using sex as an escape and a disconnect and a checking out, rather than using it to become more and more conscious. But it would be such a challenge for anyone with trauma, and especially significant sexual trauma, to want to open up those gates of consciousness. That’s the last fucking thing you want.
KATIE: Keep ’em closed. Keep ’em closed. I don’t want to know that. I don’t want to feel that. That’s what’s so interesting because I knew that touching was the trauma. But it took me so long to realize that the way I was having sex was also because I was terrified of feeling, and that was also part of the trauma, because, like you said, our culture is so set up for that to be normalized. For us not to make those connections or want to connect with ourselves.
KIM: Absolutely. So you went into this place of saying yes. What started to happen differently in your vagina and your body overall?
KATIE: It was a very slow journey at first. Because like I said, I couldn’t touch myself, couldn’t look at myself. I said, all right! I’ve just got to be honest about where I am, feeling embarrassed or sad about it at first. “This is where I am, man. Let’s do this.”
I would sit down in the beginning, and those early sessions of the egg were so pitiful. I would set a timer. I’d say, “Okay, let’s set a container so it will be really safe.” I’d set a timer for three minutes. “Let’s go. Can we last three minutes?”
KIM: Well, baby steps, I love it. That’s great. It’s better than nothing. Right?
KATIE: It’s better than nothing.
KIM: And that works. That’s great.
KATIE: I would just sit there, and I would just breathe. And I would have all of the feelings come up. I remember the first time I did it, all of those symptoms I described came up. It was like a panic attack. I was going to pass out. All of those symptoms were coming up, and I was just sitting there and saying, “Okay, you can do it. We’re going to stay through the experience.” I made it to the end, and I pulled out the egg and I didn’t die, and I didn’t pass out.
They say fear is False Evidence Acting Real. I was utterly giving myself new evidence. “Look, it’s okay.” [Laughs]
Slowly I would just increase from there. Each time I would sort of establish what felt safe. “I could do the egg for three minutes this time, so next time I’m just going to push the boundary in one small way and I’m going to do four minutes. I’m just going to keep showing up each day, and it’s going to grow. My capacity is going to grow. I trust that.”
Mostly what started to happen in the beginning was all of the trauma stored inside my vagina, all of those unfelt feelings came rushing out.
Our bodies hold all that trauma, and I just held myself through it. The trauma would start to come out. I would feel those symptoms. Sometimes I would just weep. There was a lot of just lying on the floor weeping.
At one point in one of the live coaching calls that we did, I had been weeping a lot, and I said to you, “Kim, all I’m doing is weeping. This feels really far away from pleasure.” [Laughs] And you said, “No, this is so good. You’re going in and there’s movement. It’s starting to happen.” So I held onto that, and I said, “Okay, all right, this is good. This apparently is good. I’m going to keep going through this.”
And it wasn’t long before the crying actually started to feel good. It felt good to cry.
There’s something you say a lot. You say if we give these parts of our bodies just a tiny bit of attention, they’re so resilient, and they will start doing the healing for us.
That’s what started happening to me. The healing started coming very, very quickly. There was the crying and then, slowly.
The extreme symptoms that were with me for 30 years of my life—they stopped.
I began to have sensation! [Laughs] Some of it was so startling. I didn’t realize that I walked around with a clenched, closed-up vagina. It was so weird. I’d say “What’s happening?” [laughs] And it was my vagina.
And the wetness started coming. It came so fast because it’s like that part of me was just waiting for me to come. Just waiting for me to put a little attention there, and she knew what to do. The jade egg knew what to do. It knew how to help clear all of that out.
Someone asked me, “How does it work? How does it happen?” I said, it’s like vagina magic. [Laughs] They didn’t quite get it, so I said, “Okay, it’s like this. How do your lungs know how to breathe? How does your heart know how to beat? How do your ovaries know how to make eggs that turn into a baby?” Your body knows. If you show up for your body, if you put a little bit of attention there, she will lead you. “My vagina just told me what to do. My body just told me what to do.”
I can touch myself now. I don’t have any symptoms. My partner can touch me and it’s not scary. I can look at my own vagina.
In fact, I don’t stargaze; I vagina-gaze.
[Laughs] I sit down some days, and I just connect with that part of myself, and it just brings me back into my body. It brings me such a sense of bliss and peace. I know where I would’ve been if I hadn’t done this work. In a horrible place.
KIM: Wow. I have tears coming to my eyes listening to this.
KATIE: Yeah, me too.
KIM: Because it’s just so beautiful and strong and courageous of you to go through that on your own and to really trust. I love what you said about that analogy of how does your heart know how to beat? How do your lungs know how to breathe? Your vagina knows how to heal. It knows how to orient itself toward pleasure and being a channel for life force energy. That’s just so beautiful.
You talked about your relationship with other body parts, like your breasts. And I love what you said about vagina-gazing; that’s my favorite quote so far. What happened with other parts of your body? How did your relationship change in terms of owning yourself?
KATIE: Oh my God. You offer all this beautiful healing for our breasts, and I began doing that diligently, too, especially in the beginning, when I was using three-minute egg timers. I could touch my breasts, baby! I could do that. I would show up for that every day. I’m not a large-chested person, but suddenly, my breasts had this new presence. I just remember my husband saying, “What’s going on with your breasts?” [Laughs] I said, “Aren’t they amazing suddenly?” You’re starting to circulate the energy, and they just come back to life. You talk about all the lymphatic drainage that happens there, all the toxins that are stored.
Also, in the beginning, especially when I would really massage my breasts, a lot of emotions would come up, too, because there are a lot of emotions stored, especially where my heart is. I would just feel so energized after because now my body was free of all this junk that I was carrying.
I quit bras. Bras are dead to me. [Laughs] Even if I sometimes have to put one on, afterward I come home, and my breasts look sad. They look like they’ve been all squeezed down. And I’ll say, “No, breasts, no more for you!” They just feel alive.
For the first time in my life, I actually understand what it means to be embodied. What it means to actually be in your body. When you can’t touch your own vagina, when you’re terrified of this part of yourself, you’re not in your body. How can you inhabit your body fully if you’re scared of part of your body? If you don’t know part of yourself? You can’t be in your body.
And then if you’re not in your body, forget healing pleasure. You don’t feel anything. You’re just walking around. What kind of experiences of life are you having behind some kind of glass wall?
Anyway, so when I would do the jade egg practices, I found myself actually being grounded in my feet and in my body for the very first time. And this was huge for me. I identify as a highly sensitive person and if you’re not in your body, if you’re up here or whatever, you’re disassociated, everyone else’s energies will glom onto your body. You will be carrying around all these other people’s junk. You will not be with yourself.
Then how can you be your authentic self in the world if you’re not in your body? If you have everyone else’s crap stuck to you? You can’t. That was one of the side effects. My breasts were one of my favorites, because that was just, ooh.
But one of the shocking side effects was how grounded I became and how much it did to bring me into my body. And as someone who tends to be more intuitive and empathic, I tried everything to deal with that, so that other people’s energies wouldn’t come into my body. I would do shielding, and I would wear crystals, and I would say mantras. No. [Laughs] Get the jade egg. Get the jade egg.
I have this corny joke I’m going to share with you, because you like puns. And you’ve got to have some jokes to get through all of this. A sense of humor is so important.
KIM: Absolutely.
KATIE: I went from being a highly sensitive person to having a highly sensitive pussy.
KIM: I love it. Oh my gosh, that is incredible. And what a profound observation. I would identify the same way, as highly sensitive and empathic. I talk about how sexual energy creates its own shielding. When you are inhabiting your sexual energy and you are well-fucked, whether single or coupled, you create this impermeability around you. But I hadn’t really thought of that in terms of being a highly sensitive person and being hyper-aware of other people’s states of energy and emotion.
I love that you observed that and made that connection because that’s so brilliant. And what a gift to know that, for anyone who is in that same position, which is a beautiful state to be in, to have that level of sensitivity. But sometimes the cost of that is being sensitive to things you don’t want to be sensitive to and picking up on things you’d rather not. It is just amazing that you perceived it. Without having that strength of the sexual energy, that shielding of it, there’s a void inside that can be filled by wayward energies.
We talk a lot in my work about how we go in, we do the sexual work, we see all these changes and benefits in our bodies, in our sexuality, in our reproductive organs. Then the extension of that is how all of the things in our outer life begin to change. That can be everything from our work, our creative expression, to financial opportunities, to our family, to our social situation. So what other impact did you see? I know you shared something about business and your creative process.
KATIE: Yeah. I also want to say that my endometriosis, by the way, is gone. Gone. No heavy periods, no painful bleeding. It is normal and healthy. I, again, did lots of remedies, lots of herbs and stuff. It was looking at the sexual trauma. It was sexual trauma healing. That’s what my body was crying out for.
That’s one of the changes physically that has happened. It’s pretty wild. Another one of those things that you think it’ll just be that way for life. But no, actually, it won’t. This stuff really quantum leaps all of your healing in ways that you never expected.
KIM: I was talking to a friend yesterday and she’s in her late forties. The things that people start telling her are perimenopause and hormonal stuff to explain dues she is having. She’s been sexually inactive for a while. I said, “Look, what if the actual key to all of this hormonal balance, all of your internal health, is really your sexual health and your sexual energy? And when that gets upleveled and brought into balance, in its true rightful power, it’s the master hormone. The master switch in your entire body as that life force channel. It governs everything more than anything else.
What you’re saying is really speaking to clearing that out.
KATIE: 100%. 100%. I couldn’t agree more. There’s that change. I am a creative and would use your Meditate/Masturbate/Create all the time. Even early on, it was something that I could do. I have this yearly project that I do. It would normally take me six weeks to do it, and last year, during VKF, it took me two weeks—done. Done. Wow. Where did it come from? All of that energy was just moving, and I was so aligned with myself and my creativity that it just moved like that.
I’m a writer, and I’ve always prided myself on my voice. In my writing, that’s always what people praise. I have a really strong voice, or so I thought. I realize now, in looking back, that I wasn’t really inhabiting my true self and the fullness of my own body. I wasn’t really writing from that deep core. Suddenly, my writing has changed, the quality of it. I’m now writing from this deep core place.
When it comes to business opportunities, I was trying to calculate this. It’s so wild. Within three months of finishing the course, I was starting to have the deeper, vaginal orgasms. Within three months of those orgasms starting, we had over a $100,000 increase in our household income, and that continues to rise. I wasn’t looking for it. I wasn’t trying to find that. It was just another one of those benefits which rushed in.
I’m trying to think what else. I no longer use sex to numb. I actually feel things during sex. I quit my vibrator during this process. This is something that’s really important too. In the course, you say quit your vibrator, and when you said it, I got really angry. “Don’t take my vibrator away!” [Laughs]
KIM: [Laughs] The vibrator death grip. Yep, it’s a thing. You can pry it out of my cold dead hands! [Laughs]
KATIE: “No! I will not give it up!” And then I said, maybe I should look at if I’m that attached to it. This is so wild to me.
All this time, I didn’t want to give it up because I said, “Oh, Kim, you’re going to take my orgasms away and take my pleasure away.” But I went all in. I was showing up for this. I threw out the vibrator so I wasn’t tempted, and something wild started to happen very quickly.
I realized that, yeah, I was having orgasms from a vibrator. I was not having anything that resembled pleasure from a vibrator. Those two things are very different.
The sheer pleasure that I felt from using my jade egg and using my vagina to start to come to life was a thousand times more pleasurable than any stupid, quick, numbed-out vibrator orgasm.
Suddenly, I realized I wasn’t having pleasure. I was having orgasms, and they can actually be very, very different experiences. So I suddenly had access to this new sense of bliss that I had never had before. [Laughs] And it’s a bliss that comes from within and that can be tapped at any time, and it’s dependent on no one and nothing. It comes from me being tuned in and connected with my own self and having my own sexual energies flow. That is a pleasure that cannot be described.
KIM: Well, you’ve done a really epic job describing it. [Laughs]
KATIE: [Laughs] Thank you.
KIM: I appreciate the depth of what you’re saying; you have conveyed really powerfully exactly what your process has been and the shifts that you’ve experienced.
Is there anything else that you feel we haven’t touched upon in your story?
KATIE: Yeah, I would just say one more thing, which is that you always say that every woman can, and I know what it’s like to feel like you’re the one woman who can’t and who won’t.
I just feel like, from my experience, if I can, anyone can. If you keep showing up for yourself, your body will show up for you and you can be part of that Anami guarantee. [Laughs]
KIM: I love it. And I love what we said earlier, you taking baby steps. Even if that means three minutes. Even if you lie there with the egg inside of you and just breathe and get used to it, because especially for someone coming with a history of sexual trauma, insertion and penetration itself can be massively triggering. Just be conscious and present and breathe through that and very, very bravely decide to go through that on your own and allow those feelings to come out and have this trust that there is a navigation system in your body, in your sexual organs, that will guide you through it. They will guide you home.
KATIE: Well, you provided that container, and you held that line of faith. That’s one of the most powerful things that you give. You hold the standard, and you hold this line of faith, and so when mine would waver, I would just hold onto yours and use that to help guide me forward.
KIM: You mentioned something about being in the breakout calls, which I think would be great to have people hear in terms of being in the salon.
KATIE: I’m not traditionally a joiner, and we have the option in VKF to gather in small breakout rooms with other women. At first, I said, I don’t know. I’m kind of introverted. I don’t love kumbaya womanhood things. [Laughs]
But you know what? I said, I’m going all in, so let me give it a try. And it was amazing because it wasn’t this place where we were doing small talk. It wasn’t this place where people weren’t really doing the work and it was just lip service. You come into the group, and you just say, “Hi, my name is Katie; this is what’s up with my vagina. What’s up with your vagina?” [Laughs]
We spend so much time as women pretending we don’t have vaginas. They smell; we’re not supposed to talk about them; let’s hide all this stuff about them. And then to just walk into this virtual room and just lay it all out there, it is so freeing.
It really does make you feel very seen. I remember I was in this one group and there were four women, and it came out that all four of us had experienced some kind of sexual trauma. There wasn’t shame about it; there was just understanding and support, and there is such power in speaking something that has been locked away. When it’s locked away inside you, it starts to eat you up, and it’s like this darkness that you’re carrying around. The second you speak it, it bursts into light.
To have other women witness that, too, was so incredible. Even though the course has been over for a year, I am still in contact with some of the women and we still have this Telegram chat. Again, it’s not some kind of kumbaya thing; it’s not lip service; it’s all women who are committed to doing the same work as you and they share ideas, and they brainstorm.
Having that community piece, I didn’t think it would matter so much to me, but in the end, I was so, so grateful for it, and it has carried on since the course has ended. I’m so grateful for the kindness and the witnessing of those women.
KIM: That’s amazing. I’m so glad to hear that. Tell me, you talked about how you crossed the line from not being able to touch yourself at all and then going into being able to self-pleasure, being able to have actual pleasure from touching yourself. And then, taking it even to the next level, you said, “I wanted to be with the real me, in all her messy, radiant, untamed glory. I had a wall up, and it was time to take it the fuck down. I wanted to hold her and know her and fuck her. Suddenly, I got self-pleasuring and became insanely, delightfully hot for myself.”
That’s a whole other energy that we would really associate with being that way, really desirous for a love. “Oh, I can’t wait to see them. I get wet when I think about them.” But you’re describing that in having that relationship with your own self and body. So tell me more about that.
KATIE: Yes. So at first with the self-pleasuring, it was definitely very lame. “What am I doing? What is happening? Why am I doing this?” Again, I set a time for ten minutes; let’s see what happens. And mostly, nothing was really that great happened for a while. But I was going to keep showing up.
Then this one day I just had this breakthrough that I was treating myself basically like a really crappy lover. I wasn’t interested in myself. I was bored. I didn’t want to put the time into it. “Where’s the orgasm? Let’s get it going.” [Laughs] Right? And I just realized, “Wow, I am treating myself terribly. Is that how I actually want to be with myself? How would I want a lover to be with me?”
I realized that I had this huge wall up. I wasn’t really committing to being with myself or holding myself. I was just going through the motions. It was very, very performative, and I didn’t really know what it meant to spend time with my body. I didn’t know what it meant to really be with myself.
Then this one day I was there, and the usual stuff was happening, which wasn’t very much, but I had been thinking about these ideas and it just came over me in this wave. “Oh my gosh, what if I was the way I want my lover to be? What if I could be really turned on for myself? Why couldn’t I be turned on for myself?” And my whole body responded. It just lit up. I felt so radiant. And suddenly, when I was sort of lamely touching my breasts, I suddenly wanted to touch them in this loving way and I wanted to be with myself.
And that was when I made that shift, when the orgasms started happening without the vibrators. And they weren’t orgasms that were lame and numbed out. They were the kind where your whole body is lit up because you are really connected, and you are really holding yourself and you are really there. I was really there with myself.
And it is so hot to be there with yourself. If you’re turned on for yourself, imagine how other people will respond as a result, versus if you’re not turned on for yourself. It’s so powerful and magical and makes you feel alive. I get masturbating now! [Laughs]
KIM: [Laughs] You get *conscious* masturbating now.
KATIE: Yes!
KIM: Versus unconscious.
KATIE: Yes. Such a great distinction.
KIM: Let’s conclude with this quote. You said, “I used to associate being a woman with pain and trauma and blood. But now I dance around the house naked, reveling in the magical, sacred, special witchiness of this woman’s body.”
KATIE: It’s so true. I was just full of trauma and endometriosis, and I thought that was what my body was for. I was disconnected and disassociated from my body. And now I get to enjoy her. Our first relationship in our lives is with our own body, and I am so glad that I found her and that I get to have a really life-giving and joyous relationship with her. It really is a relationship. Your body talks back to you. Your vagina has wisdom to offer. If I have questions, she will help guide me. I’m never alone. She’s always got my back, and I feel like I’ve got her back. And that’s part of the witchy magic.
KIM: I love that. That’s such a beautiful, empowering thought, and one that I think is so opposite to all of the programming and the experiences and the trauma that women experience, where I think their vaginas become like adversaries or enemies or, at best, just disassociated entities.
What you’re describing is so inspiring. Having a vagina that you have a relationship with, and it can guide you and you’re connected to each other. That’s so beautiful. Well done.
Oh, Katie, it just moves me to no end, such a beautiful interview. Thank you so much for sharing your experience and being that beacon of hope and inspiration for other women and men to know there’s a way out of these experiences, and it’s through your own body.
KATIE: Absolutely. Thank you so much for this opportunity to share my story and for all of the healing magic that you have brought to my life, Kim.
***
I love everything that Katie’s shared.
I love how she took on this challenge herself.
She’d tried countless other therapies to address not only her trauma history, but the resulting expressions of it, like her endometriosis and painful periods.
I always say that ALL reproductive ailments are symptoms of stuck sexual energy.
And often that comes from unresolved trauma.
Sometimes it can come from limiting beliefs we’ve absorbed around sexuality, and the imprinting we receive from our family of origin and the culture around us.
But…most of the time, it’s from whatever injuries, violations and mistreatment we’ve received ourselves.
All of that gets lodged in the body.
And to the body we must go, in order to find it, illuminate it, and transform it.
Exactly as Katie has done.
In Katie’s process, and through taking both VKF and WFW, she threw herself into this and applied ALL of the tools I offered her.
In recovering from sexual abuse, using the jade egg is a beautiful way to ease into self-guided penetration, especially for women who are rebuilding trust with their own vagina—and those who have “vaginas on lockdown”, which is a very obvious symptom of sexual abuse that hasn’t been cleared.
Easing into gentle insertion gives them a sense of autonomy and getting their power back.
Even if Katie was intimidated or skeptical at first, she went for it anyway.
From yoni and breast massage, to self-pleasuring, to putting down her vibrator:
She committed.
And she did it all within the loving and supportive container of the salons, surrounded by a multitude of women of all ages and stages of their evolution—which in itself if a form of healing to be seen and witnessed—and journey with the collective energy of an open and vulnerable community.
All there for the same thing:
Because… they dared to believe there was more.
More than their symptoms and their chronic pain, more than their bodies feeling as though they betrayed them.
More than paltry clitoral orgasms from a vibrator.
More than feeling like sex is something to be endured.
More than using lube for every act of penetration.
More than feeling like their bodies and vaginas are a great, terrifying abyss that they cannot look at.
More than feeling like they are the only woman this happens to and the only one it won’t work for.
Instead they become vaginal kung fu masters, lubricating and ejaculating all over the place.
Truly feeling at home in their own bodies and vaginas, with voracious libidos,
Having the sense of their vagina guiding them like a compass, toward bliss in every part of their lives.
Their vaginas become the stuff of legend that give hand jobs and shoot ping pong balls.
Their bodies magically sculpt and reshape themselves with the adornment of self-love.
Their orgasms transform from genitals sneezes that put them to sleep—in more ways than one—to psychedelic, ecstatic, self-actualizing, rebirthing adventures.
They don’t give any fucks about what people think about them because they are too busy giving all the fucks to themselves and their partners.
They change careers if they are in one they don’t love, or they become even more successful in the one they do love.
Cash magically falls into their laps, because their laps are what attracted it.
The great thing about these well-fucked all-star interviews is that you get to hear it directly from the women and vaginas who went on these odysseys, lived to tell the tale, hahaha, and emerged out of the chrysalis, reborn into the best versions of themselves.
I have another episode on this topic called Self-Healing Sexual Trauma for Women, and Sexual Healing for Men which are also worth the listen.
And if you’re ready for your own vaginal odyssey, you can join in Vaginal Kung Fu now.
In the salon, I give you:
– The tools and techniques to uncover and recover from sexual trauma.
– Guided instructions to perform your own healing yoni massage
– Full jade egg workout routines
– Guided visualizations to help you with higher level subconscious healing and re-patterning: As above, so below.
– Breast massage techniques to
– Sexual position prescription mood guide – this tells you which sexual positions to be in to balance out different moods. For example, if you are angry, sad, depressed.
– Taoist qi gong practices to rid yourself of difficult PMS, periods and menopause
– How to use your sexual energy to create and attract abundance in your life
All this and more!
The salon is open for registration for another week, until Feb 4th. You can signup at Vaginal Kung Fu.
