THE ANAMI GUARANTEE: TRANSCRIPT
Every woman can.
This is one of my favourite things to put out there to people:
The promise that everyone CAN.
Whatever age or stage you are in your life, you can achieve all of the epic sexual adventures and milestones I talk about.
I guarantee it.
All women can:
These things are possible for every woman.
Some women will go home and have their very first G-Spot or squirting experience after hearing me tell them they can, that same day.
All they needed was permission.
And to know that it’s possible.
In the Western allopathic vernacular, the message is that “some women can, some women can’t. Some women have G-Spots and others don’t. As well as, there, there, little girl. Don’t feel bad if you can’t. It’s okay! There are other fun things you can do too!”
I find this messaging to be uber-insulting, as it’s ignorant and depriving women of the truth and power of their own bodies.
If you find a sex coach or so-called “sex expert” who tells you that “not all women can” or that the “G-Spot doesn’t exist” my advice is:
It’s pretty embarrassing actually, but all they are revealing to you is how underfucked they are and how woefully misinformed and inexperienced they are with their own bodies and vaginas.
Luckily you have me. 🙂
I discovered these orgasms at an early age, and they’ve been my benchmark for what is possible in sex.
First off, there are some women who have never had any kind of orgasm at all.
And then there are those who have clitoral orgasms, but have no idea they could have G-spot, cervical and squirting orgasms.
They may have tried once or twice, with no success, and then bought into the narrative that they were “just one of those women who couldn’t”.
Many woman have never even heard of cervical orgasms. Or energy orgasms.
Or thought it was possible to have anal orgasms.
But it is.
I often say that if women has been existing on a steady diet of clitoral—or no—orgasms, she’s going to be underfucked.
Because the clitoris is literally the tip of the iceberg.
It’s 1/10 of the pleasure that a woman is capable of experiencing.
Like I always say, “all the good stuff is in the vagina”.
The life-changing, psychedelic, reality-bending, self-actualizing, vibrating with ecstasy for days and awakening your deep self, orgasms are ALL located in the vagina.
Especially the cervix, which truly is the gateway to your queendom.
I have other podcasts where I go into more detail about how these orgasms feel and what they look like, like Amanda’s journey, which you can hear about in the How to Have Vaginal Orgasms episode.
In today’s episode, we’re speaking with Mila.
She’s a stay-at-home mom, homeschooling her two children, and currently pregnant with her third. She started the salon work thinking and I quote:
I felt like I would probably be that one woman who didn’t get there.
I didn’t feel like I could do it. I thought it was probably true for everybody, but given my whole sexual history from childhood onward and how I’ve always thought about sex, I didn’t think it was possible for me.
She had a history of some traumatic experiences that she was able to clear out doing the salon work. She started discovering herself and her vagina at age 38, and prior to that didn’t touch herself at all.
She now says things like:
“I want to have sex every single day.”
“I want to get my husband’s pants off as soon as possible. I love giving him blow jobs.”
“I’m pretty much always turned on.”
“I look forward to self-pleasure time so that I can go and be with myself and enjoy my body and make myself feel amazing.
She had her first cervical orgasm five weeks into the course and says this:
“It was about 100 times more powerful (than a clitoral orgasm), and the way that it made me feel emotionally was completely mind-blowing. I had the orgasm, and I started crying. I cried for about five minutes. Then that crying turned into laughing, and I laughed for about 20 minutes.”
All of these practices came together in the most amazing way that not only grew me sexually, but also grew my husband and me sexually together because the more sexual I become—and he’s doing his own work as well—the more magic we create together.”
So how did she get there? Let’s hear from Mila and find out!
MILA ALL STAR INTERVIEW
KIM: Welcome, Mila! It’s fabulous to have you here!
MILA: Hi! Thank you for having me.
KIM: I’d like to hear all about your journey to becoming a Well-F**ked Woman. Before you began this work, would you have considered yourself to be under-fucked in the Anami clinical definition?
MILA: By your definition, yes, absolutely. Definitely.
KIM: And so what was that like? What was going on for you?
MILA: Well, my husband and I love each other very much. We’re very attracted to each other, and we’ve always loved being intimate, but I think as society kind of expects us to think, you get the idea that once you have a family, sex once a week is great.
Prior to my husband doing Sexual Mastery for Men, we also both believed that once a week meant that we went upstairs to the bedroom, and we started having sex right then and there. It was always enjoyable for me because I loved being with my husband. I loved being intimate with him, and I thought that’s what sex was all about.
But because it wasn’t as fulfilling to me, it didn’t feel back then the way that it feels now. I guess I didn’t really have the drive to do it more often than that, although I was happy to do it once a week.
Then we learned from you that it’s normal for the woman to take a lot longer to get turned on and want to have sex and all these things that we learned in Sexual Mastery for Men, not to mention all the clearing of the blocks and the glass.
All of that stuff just set the stage for VKF in the most amazing way. Those two courses together have completely transformed our sex life and how sex feels, most importantly. I want to have sex every single day, and I want to get my husband’s pants off as soon as possible. [Laughs] Before, that was not the case at all. So it transformed, for sure.
KIM: Excellent. When I talk about the Anami Guarantee, it’s the notion that all women are multi-orgasmic. They can have G-Spot orgasms, cervical orgasms, ejaculate across the room. They can have full-body orgasms, shoot ping-pong balls with their vagina, have massively high libidos, and want to have sex every day. Before you began doing this work, what would you have thought if you’d heard that?
MILA: Well, I did hear that, and I thought it sounded really wonderful. I’m very trusting, so I kind of believed you right away, but even starting VKF, not being a very optimistic person, I felt like I would probably be that one woman who didn’t get there. [Laughs]
So I had those expectations. I didn’t feel like I could do it. I thought it was probably true for everybody, but given my whole sexual history from childhood onward and how I’ve always thought about sex, I didn’t think it was possible for me.
But as I was doing the Vaginal Kung Fu course, literally every week my husband would say, “Wow, Kim was right. Wow, she was telling the truth.” We kept saying that, and it’s so cool. [Laughs] Yeah.
KIM: Amazing. When you say your history and childhood background, is there anything you want to share about that?
MILA: My earliest childhood memory is when I was three, and I was napping. I decided to play with myself, and then my mom came into the room and caught me, and she said, “Don’t you ever, ever, ever do that again! That’s really, really, really bad!” I listened to her. I was the type of child that did everything my parents ever said. So I never did that again.
Also, I had a traumatic sexual event when I was around four. That one event affected how I viewed sex and viewed my sexual organs or sexual body parts throughout my teenage years. So I never touched myself, ever.
I actually didn’t touch myself at all. I had sex when I was 18 for the first time, and it was a really wonderful experience because I had a boyfriend that loved me and that I loved, and it lasted for three years. But I definitely went in there not knowing anything about myself.
I had two kids, and with both of them, when I gave birth, I had no idea what the cervix was; I had no idea how anything worked. I think I tried to suppress everything related to that and not learn anything about it, because it did bring up traumatic feelings.
I was in a pretty good place in regard to that by the time I started your course, but not having touched myself ever, and suppressing everything sexual about me for such a long time, definitely shaped how I viewed sex. And my vagina was completely numb.
KIM: Right. You went from having a numb vagina to working with the jade egg, working on your sexual blocks and issues and practices that we do in the course. What was that transformation like for you? And you say you now enjoy self-pleasuring, coming from a background of not doing that, having a lot of dark suppression around the idea of touching yourself.
Let’s start with the transformation from a numb vagina to a pleasured vagina.
MILA: Numb vagina basically meant that the only way I could reach orgasm before was if my husband went down on me. Even then, he would have to do it for at least 20 minutes, and I didn’t enjoy it. I feel like that’s the worst part. I heard women say they enjoyed oral sex, but for me, it was, “Okay, I’m going to lie here for 20 minutes, and I’m going to look like I enjoy it, and then I’ll have an orgasm, and then that will be great.”
Then as far as intercourse, I didn’t have feelings and sensations that could potentially bring on an orgasm.
So before VKF started, I went to your website and got that mini salonette.
I bought an egg, and that was my first experience with really doing anything with my vagina on my own. I realized that just putting my fingers in there, touching myself in that way, was all strange. I use tampons, but that’s very, very different.
I guess I started discovering myself and my vagina at almost 38. Just doing the egg from that little salonette that you had for two weeks, all of a sudden, my husband and I were having sex, and I was actually feeling something.
Just a couple of weeks into using the egg, I started gaining sensation in my vagina. I realized while having sex with my husband, all of a sudden, I could feel things. All of a sudden, there was that possibility that I could actually have an orgasm from intercourse. I thought, “Wow. I actually believe that it’s possible.”
And then, at that point, I actually thought, “Well, you know what? This is enough. I probably don’t really need to do VKF because I’ll just do this a lot, and I’ll get there.”
But then I thought, “No, that’s probably not true. I should go do the course.” And oh my goodness, it is massive. The things that I would have missed! Because it took me so much further than just discovering my vagina and into all of these sensations and feelings that I had and didn’t know before, and also the breast massage. That’s huge.
Self-pleasuring and getting comfortable with touching myself. I didn’t really have issues with touching myself. It’s not like I put my fingers inside me and thought, “Oh, this feels bad.” But it was unusual. Little by little, I started feeling things, and I started enjoying things.
KIM: Excellent. Describe how you went from only ever having clitoral orgasms to then having cervical orgasms. How did that feel?
MILA: My first experience with a cervical orgasm was about five weeks into the course. At that point, it was a couple of weeks since we had had sex because I was in the middle of my first trimester, feeling endless fatigue and not feeling great. My husband took me by surprise, and we ended up having this incredible, incredible sex where I was feeling everything.
I was feeling a lot by the fifth week in the course, and I did feel that buildup toward an orgasm pretty much every time we had sex. But I didn’t expect to have sex in that moment. He took me by surprise, and I didn’t expect or think about having an orgasm, which I think was such a huge part of it.
About 20 minutes into having sex, I had my first cervical orgasm.
And the reason why I know it was a cervical orgasm is because prior to that moment, I’d never, ever had an orgasm just from my husband being inside me. It was only ever through oral sex before or lots and lots of oral sex, and then, just before I came, he would enter me. We were occasionally able to reach that, but this was just us having sex.
The second reason I know it was a cervical orgasm is because it was about 100 times more powerful, and the way that it made me feel emotionally was completely mind-blowing. I had the orgasm, and I started crying. I cried for about five minutes. Then that crying turned into laughing, and I laughed for about 20 minutes. But honestly, I feel like I could’ve laughed for longer.
My husband is amazing; especially because he did Sexual Mastery for Men, he knew exactly what to do. Through the five minutes of crying and 20 minutes of laughing, he was just going at it harder, and he made me feel like I was able to keep going.
It was an incredible experience, and I’m happy to be able to share it.
KIM: I love that because he had done Sexual Mastery for Men, he was able to hold you through that. Because that’s what I teach guys to do when a woman does reach these cataclysmic, breakthrough places, especially during sex and during vaginal and cervical orgasms. I love that he was able to really hold you there.
MILA: Yeah. Thank you for that. I mean, knowing my husband, he would have just done that anyway, honestly, but I know a lot of men wouldn’t have.
KIM: Amazing. And now you have them all the time?
KIM: Before, you were averse to touching yourself, and then you got to a place where you really enjoy self-pleasuring and have now made it part of your self-care routine. Tell us about that.
MILA: One of the things that I love so much about all the practices that I learned in your course is that when I do have time to myself—and my husband has always been incredible and given me at least two hours to myself every single day when he comes home at four—I have a purpose, and I get to not just do the self-pleasuring but also the egg routine. And of course, the egg routine comes with breathing. My husband and I keep trying to get into meditating. I feel like meditating, self-pleasuring, breathing, breathwork, and the jade egg practice all just kind of come together. They give me a lot more purpose than just meditation itself. I feel very driven. I feel the effects of it. And I absolutely love doing it.
I feel like in the past, when it came to something like meditating, if my husband were to take the kids somewhere, like he often does, to give me time to myself, meditating would be a bit like, “Oh, I better go do that. It’ll be good for me.” Sometimes I did it; sometimes I didn’t.
But I want to do the practices from your course. I look forward to them giving me the time so that I can go and be with myself and enjoy my body and make myself feel amazing.
That was something else with the breast massage. When I knew that it was going to be part of the course, I started doing it right away. It didn’t feel satisfying, and it also felt boring, and I didn’t enjoy it. I kept thinking that I could make myself do this, I could get used to it, but it was always kind of a drag.
But then, once I finally got to the part in the course where you teach the techniques, wow, what a huge difference. I skipped a day yesterday, and I don’t remember what the reason was, but I never, ever skip that. It is one of the most incredible ways for me to connect with myself, and it’s probably the best way for me to get turned on. I’ve absolutely been able to self-pleasure after that. I have to! [Laughs]
All of these practices came together in the most amazing way that not only grew me sexually, but also grew my husband and me sexually together because the more sexual I become—and he’s doing his own work as well—the more magic we create together. Thank you for all these things.
KIM: I love it! Is there anything more you would say about what you just said? Because you’re both doing this conscious work. Have you noticed that you both being centered in this work and conscious of using your sexual energy in a creative way has changed your lives? Not just your relationship, but your outer lives.
MILA: I am a stay-at-home, homeschooling mom. I have a two-and-a-half-year-old son and a five-and-a-half-year-old daughter, and I’m also pregnant right now. My passion right now is being with my kids and teaching them the stuff that they want to learn and just giving them this really awesome childhood.
Prior to doing your work, I definitely had a lot less energy for those things. I think one of the ways the practices help is that they help me channel my own energy in a way where I can be with myself through these practices, gain all of this energy and inspiration, and then create things with my kids.
Right now, that’s where I am. Eventually, I do want to get into something once they’re a little bit older, something that will make me money. But right now, this is what makes me happy, and this is how I’m using this newfound energy. I always had energy for my kids; it’s just a whole other level right now.
KIM: Right. That’s what happens when you’re taking that life-force energy and translating it into creative power. You are more inspired by all of your projects. I always tell people, it’s not just about these classic artistic pursuits like painting or sculpting or drawing, but we can channel that energy into everything we do. Whether it’s cooking, parenting, gardening, exercising, or writing, all of that benefits from this overflow of creative brilliance that we’re now tapping into via our conscious sex lives.
MILA: Exactly. Yes. Every time you say in the podcast or somewhere to do the Meditate, Masturbate, Create, and whenever you say create or go play with your kids, I’ll say, “Yeah, that applies to me.” I go play with my kids.
KIM: Beautiful. I love it.
What else would you say about the improvement in your sex life with your partner overall?
MILA: Overall, we love each other and enjoy each other’s company and enjoy touching each other. That hasn’t changed; that has always been like that. But the effect that it has on me in terms of how different it feels…it makes me want to have that constantly.
Basically, in the past, the way that I felt about sex didn’t actually drive me to want to have sex, but now when I think about sex with my husband, when I think about his cock, I want to have sex. My husband sees that I am obsessed with his penis. I’m excited to see his penis. I’m excited to have sex with his penis. I love giving him blow jobs. Before, giving a blow job was really about making him happy, and the fact that he was happy made me happy. But now it’s different. Now it’s not just about making him happy. I genuinely want to give him blow jobs. It brings me such joy to do that now.
Of course, you can imagine, he doesn’t complain about that, and he loves it too. I think that’s how the work has impacted us sexually as a couple; we have sex all the time now.
KIM: I love that you get turned on just at the thought of your husband’s penis.
MILA: Yes, absolutely. That’s where I think that sentience that you talk about comes into play because I’m pretty much always turned on because my husband is pretty much always on my mind. I think it’s that turned-on feeling that makes you feel like you’re not alone. I have my vagina right there with me all throughout the day, and it’s really cool. I totally understand what you mean about sentience, and she’s not just there. It’s her and me, and it’s a really cool feeling.
KIM: To expand on that for people who may not have heard me talk about that before, it’s the idea that once you really inhabit and enliven and connect to your genitals, they become this conscious presence within you. Most people are quite numb and disconnected from their genitals. Through doing this enlivening, we develop not only a relationship with them, but it’s almost like they have their own consciousness and their own awareness. We begin to have relationships not just with our partners, but with their genitals. And with our own genitals. Would you say that sums it up?
MILA: Completely true. I now have a relationship with my husband and with his penis. And I also have a relationship with my vagina. Sometimes I tell my husband that it’s okay if he had a really hard day at work. “Once you get to bed, you can go straight to sleep. I’m just going to pay with your cock. You don’t have to even know that I’m there.” He always says yes, and despite how tired he sometimes might be, he always gets up for it.
KIM: I love it. That’s so awesome. I love the spirit of play that you’re weaving throughout your intimate life with each other.
Is there anything else that you feel like we haven’t covered in your story?
MILA: Yeah, absolutely. Given my upbringing and the way that I thought about sex, it was really important for me to be different with my daughter in regard to sex and our sexual organs. Even prior to learning about your work, I already sort of felt comfortable about that, and I knew that she would have it different in that regard.
But getting to know your work just took it to a completely different level, and I’m committed to making sure that she’s 100% comfortable with her vulva and with everything wonderful that comes with her vulva. She’s only five, and I’m also going to have another daughter. I’m happy to be able to let them grow up in a way where they don’t feel like they need to suppress those feelings or like they’re awkward or strange in any way. My husband is 100% on board with that, too.
KIM: That’s beautiful. I love that you’re taking that knowledge and wisdom and sharing it. You’ll already be modelling that in your own energy and your own relationship. But to then take that further into being open and inviting those conversations, the openness and healthiness of it all is completely normalized within your household. That’s beautiful.
MILA: Yeah. 100%.
KIM: Fantastic! Thank you so much for sharing your journey with us today, Mila.
MILA: You’re so welcome. Kim, thank you so much for your work and for making such a huge difference in our lives. It’s something that we’ll take with us for the rest of our lives, and that’s really cool.