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Cock Lovers of the World Unite!

Take your medicine.

Your cock medicine.

There is cock like.

And the, there is cock LOVE.

I used to be a cock liker.

Until I became a cock LOVER.

And my entire sex life has been transformed ever since.

Early on in my sex coaching career, I had a keen observation: all the fluff that you find in cheesy sex rags about “101 blow job tips” and the like, meant nothing if a woman didn’t want to go down on her man.

So why didn’t she want to?

That was the ultimate question that no one seemed to be asking.

What is the formula for pure, unbridled cock love? 

As an unstoppable force all on its own.

Not something that is faked or coerced.

It gushes out and all over the place, from the bed to the car to the boat to the kitchen table.

Receiving that kind of love is totally transformational for a man.

So many men don’t really love or own their cocks.

But you can help change all that.

It changes him from the inside out.

When he is seen, adored, cherished at his core, the benefits are epic.

For him and for you.

In this episode we explore:

  • How cock love makes cocks grow.
  • Increasing his masculine and power and confidence. Through your love of his cock.
  • Getting from cock like to cock love.
  • How oral sex can get you wet.
  • Sex as medicine: deep throating as the road to unlocking (uh, un-cockblocking) your true expression.

Listen now:

Or download and listen on the go: 

The Well-F**ked Woman Salon
is now open! 

In this 8-week how-to-live-love-and-orgasm-in-a-female-body education you never received, you’ll learn how to:

– Master the technical skills of oral pleasure, deep throating, anal sex and wild hand jobs and how to use these sex acts to accelerate your personal growth and transformation
– Achieve the deeper, life-changing, vaginal orgasms
– Channel your creative, orgasmic, sexual energy into your life and work, accessing your genius
– Clear sexual blocks and release your unprocessed “weight”
– Live and love in your feminine energy, accessing an even deeper and more magnetic power than you ever thought possible
– And much more!

Signup now! 

Kx

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COCK LOVERS OF THE WORLD UNITE! TRANSCRIPT.

There is cock like. 

And the, there is cock LOVE. 

I used to be a cock liker. 

Until I became a cock LOVER. 

And my entire sex life has been transformed ever since. 

The turning point came when I was with a man I was so utterly into mind, body, spirit. 

And cock. 

I couldn’t get enough of him. 

I was totally open to him on every level. 

In love with him on every level. 

His cock was a gorgeous expression of his being and his masculinity: strong, potent, wild, hard and fierce. 

I was smitten. 

With them both. 

I couldn’t walk past that cock without touching or loving it in some way. 

I’d fall to my knees in the middle of the room. 

To show it some love. 

It came to be that I had two distinct relationships: 

One with the man. 

The other with his cock. 

I missed them both when they weren’t around. 

Early on in my sex coaching career, I had a keen observation: all the fluff that you find in cheesy sex rags about “101 blow job tips” and the like, meant nothing if a woman didn’t want to go down on her man. 

So why didn’t she want to? 

That was the ultimate question that no one seemed to be asking. 

Instead, they were glossing over it with lists of techniques, which might even encourage a woman to override her lack of desire, rather than truly unlock it. 

I realized from my own experiences that the transition from like to love, from any sense of obligation or reciprocation was being wildly, deeply, madly in love with the man. 

And his cock. 

And being so open to both of them, that the idea of being penetrated anywhere, anytime, in any manner, was totally arousing to me. 

This meant that I had no barriers or inhibitions in myself. 

Or toward my man. 

And that is the formula for pure, unbridled cock love. 

It is an unstoppable force all on its own. 

Not something that can be faked or coerced. 

It gushes out and all over the place, from the bed to the car to the boat to the kitchen table. 

** 

Receiving that kind of love is totally transformational for a man. 

So many men don’t really love or own their cocks. 

I’d say a lot of that comes from early circumcision and sexual trauma, as well as the internalization of this idea of “toxic masculinity” and the concept that somehow the penis or the male body isn’t beautiful. 

But you can help change all that.

It changes him from the inside out. 

When he is seen, adored, cherished at his core, the benefits are epic. 

1.First off, his cock grows.

Physically.

Yep, it gets bigger.

Later in this episode, one of our well-f**ked all stars talks about how the size and strength of her man’s erection is the ultimate litmus test for their relationship. 

When they are going strong his cock is realizing its full potential and even growing beyond it. 

He’s fully occupied in his erections and in his masculine self. 

When they drift apart, his cock contracts. 

I have seen cocks gain a full inch in length and in girth, just from being well-loved. 

Yes, ladies, the power is in your hands. 

And mouths. 

Lots of love and connection = giant, solid cock and plentiful, rock hard erections. 

2. His overall confidence also grows.

When I’ve been on my retreats, and I’ve coached women in cock love, their men walk differently the next day. 

They are… cocky! More playful, outspoken. Bold. 

They strut around, and they lead with their cocks. 

The attention and adoration they’ve received enlivens them not just at the genitals, but it impacts how they show up in the world. 

They own what they’ve got and who they are and the infuse that in all of their interactions. 

3. And, cock love increases his masculine essence. 

The cock is the barometer of a man’s masculine expression in the world. 

When it is strong and formidable, so is he.

As you love up his cock, he embodies more of his masculine strength. 

He becomes more decisive, and takes action in his life. He’s going somewhere. 

All qualities a woman loves. 

The more you adore his cock, the more it loves you back and provides a solid masculine core that you can lean into. 

He can be the man. So you don’t have to. 

All of your cock love not only helps him, but as you can see, has tremendous benefits for you as well. 

1. You feel even more well-fucked and embodied. You are open in every way—in bed and in life. 

Good solid cock is the medicine that transforms you into a well-f**ked woman. 

All that you give to him comes back to you tenfold. A hundred fold. 

As I like to say, it’s not that behind every good man is a woman. 

Au contraire! Behind every good woman is a man, on his knees, giving her everything he’s got. 

His embodiment helps you with yours which helps him with his. 

It’s the gift that keeps on giving. 

2. Your perpetual openness and receptivity increase your feminine energy and flow.

You become more magnetic to abundance in your life to create what you want. 

COCK is good MEDICINE.  

The Taoists believe that our bodily fluids—our lubricating fluids, saliva and ejaculate—contain our respective yin and yang essences. 

By taking them in and exchanging them with each other, we nourish and balance ourselves. 

The cock is the yang to your yin. 

It’s our direct hit, our mainline of masculine love juice, of strong, powerful energy. 

Bottoms up, kids! I like to say. 

Especially with oral sex, the cock is the great opener and liberator. 

3. One of the best ways to “find your voice” is with a big cock down your throat. 

It helps you to clear your throat chakra and speak your truth. 

A glorious cock down the throat is the magic and medicine that every woman needs.

Being so open to your man to let him fully fuck your throat, or at the very least, to thoroughly enjoy is cock with your mouth, reverberates that energy of OPENNESS throughout your system. 

This is itself helps to release internal, emotional and psychological blockages. 

And, like I’ve said, a cock in the throat is a great remedy for CLEARING YOUR THROAT. 

It’s one of the best remedies actually! If you are feeling stuck in expressing yourself, especially verbally, oral sex and especially deep throating are the cure for what ails you. 

This direct stimulation of your throat chakra acts as an energetic catalyst. 

You’ll hear in today’s well-fucked all star, how Amanda—and her partner— even consciously KNOW they need some cock in her throat when they are having communication issues!

She also talks about how it is major foreplay for HER, and the exponential GROWTH effect on a partner who is on the receiving end of cock love. 

Sex as medicine, therapy and bodywork all in one. 

********* WELL-F**KED ALL STAR INTERVIEW *********

AMANDA:  I have always enjoyed cock love but not given myself permission to do so, or him. He hadn’t given himself permission, so it was always like a starter. It was always a beginner thing to do and then you move onto sex. Where now that can be the beginning, the middle, and the end, can be just me spending all that time on his cock.

Just this year for our wedding anniversary, we booked our very first sex weekend, because that, again, was a concept that I hadn’t even thought of, but it was so exciting to map it out in the calendar. We’re going to go on a sex weekend, this is where we’re going, and we went to a little cabin in the woods and had zero interaction with other human beings.

But before we left, I said to him, “I really want to work on deep throating,” because I’d done Well-F**ked Woman the year before and I still hadn’t done the deep throating. There’s so much in all the courses that like you have to pick what you’re going to do. But I was having communication issues and I was like, “I really need you to open up my throat. I really want to get deep down in there.” 

Over the course of that three-day weekend, we just spent so much time just going deeper and deeper into my throat. Yeah, we joke now that it used to be like you had to set aside to do time like anal sex or have deep throating or these bigger sex acts that aren’t your run of the mill, now it’s just like Wednesday night, like Tuesday afternoon. [Laughs] It’s just become part of the whole repertoire. It’s all really special, instead of you get to have anal sex for your birthday, it’s just you get to have anal sex this Wednesday. [Laughs] 

Yeah, it’s really cool.

In regard to the deep throating as well, I was really also working at the time on opening up my throat chakra and communicating better in my workplace and with my family. I actually had a goiter. That’s a lump that sits on your thyroid, so I was meditating and visualizing minimizing this lump that I had on my throat and working towards opening my throat chakra and then using the deep throating to help heal that as well. To really blow my throat open.

It just so happens I loved deep throating as well [laughs], so it’s become quite a regular thing in our bedroom, or anywhere really.

KIM:  Did it have an impact on the physical stuff that you were working on?

AMANDA:  It really did. I was able to, through the process of meditation and visualization and using the deep throating, I naturally got rid of the goiter. That lump fully went away.

But I would speak and as I was speaking, I would clear my throat every three or four words. It would be a consistent [clears throat] the whole time that I was talking, and I would drink a lot of water as well. Now that has totally gone within—it would’ve been a five-week period of a consistent protocol of using those modalities to get rid of the throat issue.

KIM:  Yeah, fantastic.

AMANDA:  Yeah, it was so good. Then on top of that, I found in the beginning using the deep throating, I found that I could really communicate. I felt like I was a bit louder, and I had actually, to me and my husband, we noticed that my voice itself sounded different. I don’t know if you physically shift your vocal cords or what goes on back there, [laughs] but something definitely changed.

Then that would’ve been like six months ago that we really started committing to the deep throating. Now I find that I would have a quieter voice and a much calmer voice, but I definitely get more out of my communication without needing to say as much. It really has—the energy behind deep throating has really shifted just what I feel I get out of my own communication skills.

I think it really gives me that well-fucked glow that means I just magnetize things to me anyway. It’s just not as much hard work anymore.

Now I can actually say, “I really need a cervical orgasm,” and he will know. [Laughs] Even just this week, I’m like, “Do you know what? I’m just in a funk. I don’t know what is wrong with me, but I just need you to fuck me.” [Laughs] And sometimes he’s really cheeky, he’ll be like, “Yeah, you need my cock in your mouth. That’s what’s happening here.”

But it’s true! I’ll go, “I know!” It’s a bit annoying. [Laughs] My throat chakra is all caught up, so yeah, go clear that.

KIM:  Right. What about then the impact on your husband?

AMANDA:  Well, first and foremost, he loves it. [Laughs] It used to be a bit of a plan, like we would have to sort of be like, okay, we’re going to try deep throating tonight or we would in the beginning set aside like, okay, Wednesday night and Friday night we’re going to do some deep throating. Because I would have to really work towards opening and opening. That would take maybe 45 minutes sometimes to get fully open in the throat.

KIM:  Right, yeah.

AMANDA:  And different positioning. We would have to make sure the kids are taken care of and entertained and not going to be interrupted during that process. But now it can, just without me—like if I’m just giving your every-day blow job, I can go really deep because I feel that that part of my throat has reached a new level of openness where it still needs some stretching to go all the way, but it’s never as closed as what my throat was previously.

KIM:  Right. Yeah.

AMANDA:  But in terms of him, other than truly enjoying the decadence of the act itself, I would say that his cock is larger in girth. I haven’t really noticed a lengthy difference, but he’s fairly well-endowed anyway [laughs], but yeah, the girth has definitely changed. 

In terms of the like energetically, if he’s having a tough week, I can actually see that in his cock as well. It’s less embodied. As much as he will say to me now, he can see that I’m feeling stuck and one of my go-tos is the deep throating to help me really surrender and just let go so that I can let the flow of the universe back in.

I can also see that I can use it for him, if he’s had something challenging at work or something’s come up for him, we can use the deep throating to bring him back into his full masculine power. At the same time as doing the deep throating for him in that regard, it drops me so deeply into this surrendered feminine state. It is just, for us, it’s a magnificent tool. In fact, it’s just so helpful to know, okay, let’s go do that because it will help me be lessen my do, do, do masculine mode, and it helps him step into his fully, “I am a man” mode. 

And I can hear myself even as I’m explaining it to you, like just the energy changes and it softens me and opens me right up, and yeah, I feel really surrendered. Even the breath is easier in my body. It just relaxes my whole system.

Actually, that’s something that I have said to my husband when I’m feeling a bit lost as well. It’s not just stuck in energy, but if I’m feeling a bit lost, sometimes in my feminine energy, I feel like I’m not sure where I am in like physical presence, but also energetically and emotionally. And I need him to fill me up anywhere really, to help me find my edges again so that I know where I am. It helps me feel contained as a woman and helps me. 

Does that make sense?

KIM:  Oh, it makes beautiful sense. You’re articulating it very well, because that’s a very subtle, rather sophisticated energetic concept, and you’re explaining it well. I think the whole essence of the feminine, that opening and surrender, and letting go, that’s what people are afraid of. Like especially in the feminine for women and letting go of that control. Now that you’re stepping into that territory, to feel and allow that openness and uncertainty and then realize that what helps ground it is the presence of the masculine, and the cock.

AMANDA:  Yeah, that’s exactly it. It’s the grounding. Because the feminine, it’s so expansive and it’s so wide and receptive. Then when I do receive him in, I can feel myself come back into my center again. It’s so delicious. We’re both just so grateful for the tools that we’ve learned from you that we can use them to help us both in that regard.

KIM:  What you’re saying, too, and I’m glad to hear that, but what you’re saying also is that that continual relationship is so important. Like I talk about daily sex connection, and I know you’ve talked about that, too, how it’s quite—you can feel the difference in yourself when you’re not having it.

AMANDA:  Yes.

KIM:  And how we really do nourish each other. I talk about the bed is the ultimate refueling station and sanctuary and recalibration space and that’s exactly what you’re talking about.

AMANDA:  It so is. I cannot express it enough. As you know, we have six children between us, and we are met with many challenges in our family and work life. Our old pattern, pre-Kim-work would be to push each other away and sort of just get into the work of daily living.

KIM:  When you’re feeling stressed, the impulse is like to almost separate, yeah.

AMANDA:  Yes, yes. That’s what it used to be. The impulse is still there. I would still, like even this week, have said, “I can feel my old patterns creeping in.” I really just want to be like, “Fuck off.” [Laughs] Then when I feel that creeping in, I actually know now that I need to lean into the other energies and the tools that we’ve learned to come back to each other. Then in coming back to each other and that relationship, we actually come back to ourselves and find ourselves, our bodies, again, **** [0:11:33.4]

KIM:  That’s so beautiful. I love it that you almost become that remembrance for each other because you’re so open to each other and the foundation of the relationship is so much honesty and clear communication that it’s a safe recharging place you can find each other back within yourselves. You’re a unit.

AMANDA:  Absolutely. But you do, you have to do the work as well. We have our connecting dates, which are communicative [laughs], like verbally, I mean. Then, yeah, we have—we do have a daily sex practice. Well, I have daily breast massage, and I do the yoni egg, and there’s self-pleasure. There’s all the things to stay centered and there’s so many options that you can do. 

This is why, in the beginning, to start with the deep throating, it would’ve been, I did the Well-F**ked Woman last year, and then it wasn’t until March this year that I said, right, I’m ready to do deep throating. Because there’s so many tools and so many beautiful things that you can use. I just wasn’t—I had wanted to do it, but I just wasn’t there yet in terms of timing of working through other amazing sexual acts as well.

Then once we tried the deep throating, I was like, this is something I can really use a lot of. [Laughs] 

I must say, one of the physical things of deep throating that I really love is that mucus that you get, the lubrication that you get from deep throating. It’s so good. It’s amazing.

KIM:  Some people think of that as the throat’s ejaculate.

AMANDA:  I totally believe it is. Because you reach a certain point and there’s sounds going on from both people, there’s moaning, and delicious groaning going on, and probably not only the lubrication in my throat, the lubrication that I get in my pussy is so definitive of how much I enjoy doing the deep throating. The wetness that I achieve from that. 

KIM:  That’s what I talk about, too, is how the great cock love, and especially deep throating, I think the level of surrender and openness, if you really sink into that, it activates your own arousal and the deliciousness of total surrender. Like at the epicenter, the peak experience of the feminine. Of receptivity, of opening, and letting your guard down totally is so arousing. It really does get exemplified in the deep throating act.

AMANDA:  The deep throating is really a true act of love, I feel. Like it’s a very surrendered, very trusting, very open. Like I’m trusting him to have his cock down my throat.

KIM:  Yeah.

AMANDA:  Yeah, it’s a beautiful—it’s a gift to him but it’s also the receiving of what I get out of it is so beautiful. Knowing that I can fully trust him and that also, like what we were saying before, how it affects you outside of the bedroom as well. The trust that I now have in being able to just—not just tasks, but just like I don’t need to communicate—again—I don’t need to communicate as much with him as I need. It’s just he’s there and it’s kind of the yin and the yang. You know, like I just feed into me, and we just keep helping each other along and things are going along without needing anywhere need as much communication. My level of trust that he’s just going to follow through and do what I need him to do is so heightened as a result of trusting him with such a beautiful and deep sexual act.

KIM:  Do you think, like what I’ve experienced and seen as well, is that when a woman truly opens and surrenders at that level, it evokes more integrity and strength and even follow through in the man. It’s like something gets activated in him, the extreme yin that he feels brings out his extreme yang, which I would say, or proper yang, is taking action and following through, being decisive, being someone whose word and actions we can rely on.

AMANDA:  100%. I even see it in his stride. I think he walks different. He also did Sexual Mastery for Men. When he did that, he was probably less committed to it at the time that he did it than he is now. Like when he did it, it was kind of because I did Well-F**ked Woman and then he was like—his response actually was, “How can I not do Sexual Mastery for Men when I’m seeing everything that’s happening with you because you’ve done Well-F**ked Woman. I’m going to have to sign up for it.”

KIM:  And didn’t it start where he originally said, “All right, you’re taking Well-F**ked Woman but I’m not going to take the men’s course.” But then once he saw the energy and result from you, he’s like, “Okay.” [Laughs] 

AMANDA:  One of the things with my darling husband is—one of the issues in the past has been money. There’s always just an attitude of lack. It’s always been, “Oh, but we don’t have enough money to do that.” We do, because my belief is, there’s just always enough money. It’s just priorities is where you’re going to place where you put the money. 

I really wanted to do, as I say, Well-F**ked Woman, and yes, when I came to him and we discussed it as a unit, like I want to put the money towards this. Definitely, it’s a really great investment. He said, “Okay, do it, happy for you to do it. This is going to be great. As a result, you’re going to want me to do it. I swear to God, you’re going to want me to do it and I’m telling you, I’m not doing it. We can’t afford it, I’m not going to do it.”

Anyway, I came home on a Friday night, and he was sitting at his computer, and he said, “I’m signing up for Sexual Mastery for Men. How could I not?” And I just looked at him. I had such love and my whole body was overwhelmed because I thought, “Go you! Like you’re not doing it.” He wasn’t doing it for me, he was just doing it because he actually did say, “It would be like saying no thank you to the universe, to whatever you want to offer me, no thanks, I don’t need it.” He’s like, “How could I do that? How could I say that?”

Then I did VKF. We’ve done them all except for Sexy Mama, but we’re done with having children. 

So yeah, then did VKF, and then while we were doing VKF, we actually watched a little free video series, the Coming Together, and that was so inspiring. Again, we were like, “We have to do this together. We need to do full circle and bring it all together as a unit.” 

There’s so many different elements in each of the salons that I can’t recommend enough just doing—just do them all. Just sign up. [Laughs] For all in sundry because it’s so great, it’s so amazing, and lifechanging. Yeah. We both have a different life now compared to just like even 18 months ago.

Not that it’s challenge-free. It still does have—like it’s work. As you say, you’ve got to do the work. When you put in the work, you get the results, and that’s not to say it’s all just cruising along, and everything is falling into our laps, and everything is going really well. We still have our challenges. When we have those challenges, it’s super fun because we can say, “Well, let’s go fuck on it.”

And I don’t know whether I can share this, but I’m going to anyway, but we actually work together. We do own the business, so it’s kind of more okay, but we know the places in the office that we can sneak off. I know one particular occasion, there has actually been a little bit of deep throating in one of the cleaning closets because there was some fairly heavy stuff happening in a meeting that was over the Zoom and it was like, “Let’s put a hold on this meeting and come back to it.” Yeah, we went and revved up a bit of energy and then went back to the meeting. Which I highly recommend it. [Laughs] 

KIM:  That is amazing! You guys both knew, you’re like, “Well, this is getting a bit much. Maybe we should do a little sex break, like communication is what we’re dealing here. Let’s go open up our throats and energies.”

AMANDA:  It totally was. It totally was. It started just with some really deep kissing, and it was just like, let’s just really move the energy and do our breath work through the orbit and move everything and just get it shifting. You’ve stirred up our sexual energy so much that it’s quite often—it can be impulsive. It’s done with intention but there’s also—you’re very revved up, that it’s like, well, let’s do it. [Laughs] 

KIM:  That’s such a great testament to what I am aiming for with people, is that A) The way you’re looking at and using your sexual energy as a power source, as an energy source. Like it doesn’t have all these other judgement, moral, taboo attachments to it. You recognize that this is a beautiful, transformational, super-powerful source of energy that you both have in your bodies, in yourselves, at your fingertips, and you’re using it that way. 

And that you’re hovering at this perpetual simmer. You’re constantly, because you’re so connected and you’re doing this ongoing work to clear space and to remain connected, is that it’s always there at the surface. You don’t have to start—take an ice pack and try to boil it up. You’re already simmering, and it just takes the slightest little bit of nudge [laughs] to enter into that space.

AMANDA:  Absolutely! And I mean, we do get comments from the guys at work and they’re just like, “Oh my god! Do you guys ever stop?” We’re just like, “No, not really. Why would you want to?” [Laughs] Even just last week, I had a lock put on my husband’s office door so that we can now lock it. While I was having that done, the operation manager has come past and he just kind of laughed and rolled his eyes, like, oh my god, are you serious?

I should mention, we’ve been together for 15 years, and we do have 6 children between us, so when people say, “Oh, once you get married, it’ll just die off,” it doesn’t have to. It just really doesn’t have to. You can stay so connected and not just connected like romantically. It can be really sexually ignited. It can be very, very sexy and very powerful.

We’ve now committed to four sex weekends a year and already committed my parents to having the younger children because the older—there’s four older ones—but the two younger ones still need to be cared for. But yeah, we’ve already lined it up, like it’s in the diary and people know we’re going away, and the phone will be off, and we won’t be contactable, just for—we still can’t manage a whole week date yet, but we can get to the three, four day mark. That’s so amazing for us anyway.

KIM:  Fantastic!

AMANDA:  I’ll just mention, on the older kids, we’re already sharing with the three older ones, but already sharing a fair bit of your work, and probably with the fourth eldest one as well. She knows a lot about your VKF, because we kind of walked hand in hand doing that one together. We would gift that to our children as they become more interested in it and when they’re ready for that sort of information. Our children will know about it and our children will hopefully use it in their own marriages and their own lives moving forward, to just—because we see it now as—I’m 44, so I’ve been working on this since I was 42. Would’ve been when I came across your work. We just think to start doing it in your twenties and your late teens is—imagine the life—I mean, you did it—but imagine the life that you can build from there with this work at the forefront, rather than sort of coming back to it after you’ve already got a bit of trauma to work through.

KIM:  Absolutely. I agree 100% and I love that you’re a model for that. I want to do a separate interview with you just on that topic because so many people, once they learn this work, they wonder how to deal with or share it with their children in a way that’s healthy and becomes—that’s who their teacher is. Like the teacher of children’s sexuality shouldn’t be the school board, nor should it be porn, or random urban myths. It ought to come from a really wonderfully-modeled source, their parents. I love, love that you do that.

AMANDA:  Exactly what you were saying. Totally what you were saying before, too, about it being a power source. It’s not just sex. Like it’s something that you can use in your life to magnetize other greatness going on, like outside of the bedroom. It’s not just about orgasms. Actually, can I…

KIM:  Yeah, go ahead.

AMANDA:  No, I was just going to say, when I signed up for Well-F**ked Woman, it was because we had a great sex life. Like I would’ve considered—I’ve always been multi-orgasmic, which is so lucky for me, and I don’t have any major traumas to work through sexually, but I signed up for these amazing orgasms. I was like, this is going to be great. I’m going to be having even better sex than what I’m having and it’s totally different. Like being a Well-F**ked Woman is not about orgasms at all. My whole life is so well-fucked in the most positive way. 

It’s so hard to explain what being well-fucked is like. I float. I don’t think I walk anymore on this earth. I just float across it. I do! People at work, they’re like, “You’re like the nicest and the healthiest person,” and the guys that work there, they like want to help me, they want to do things for me. Yeah, they think I speak so nicely, and I always look nice. I’m like, “Yeah, I’m just well-fucked.” [Laughs] I just am.

KIM:  Well, that’s it. I mean, the proof is in the pudding, right? It is the whole, like yes, I’d say orgasms are a pathway there and they’re a part of the process, but the ultimate is so much more than that. I think that’s one of the well-kept and deliberately-kept secrets about sexuality in general, is that we are mistakenly told or intentionally mistakenly told that sex is just about this, rather than it being this entire source of life. There’s all this intentional shame attached to it so that people do disassociate from it, they are afraid of it, they don’t want to touch it, and yet, it’s their greatest power source, and it’s this whole lifechanging, spiritually-transcendent lubrication fluid for everything that we do, and who we are. That’s why it’s so wonderful to be able to hear that directly from people like you, who have gone through that process, and had, even from wherever you are, for you guys, things were good, and you wanted to make them better, to have that really shown to others what’s possible.

AMANDA:  It’s also been so well-fucked, and my husband is as well now, also, that it gives us a greater understanding of what other people—maybe not understanding, but it gives me more patience for the world around me, because a lot of the time I can look and go, “That person is so under-fucked, I really feel for them.” [Laughs]  But it just has allowed me more patience because—I guess because I’m already feeling so fantastic. I have a greater bandwidth for other people around me but also a greater understanding for what they may not have in their lives and they’re not—it’s the not-knowing that this is so close. Like you could grab this with your own hands. You don’t need a partner to get to this well-fucked space, you can do this yourself.

I spread the word about Kim Anami’s work. I’m like, “Just go listen to some podcasts, start there.” Yeah. I tell anyone who is open enough to hearing it. It’s such great work.

KIM:  I love that and you’re such a great beacon for it. You’re such a wonderful example for it, that when you’re radiating that energy, people want to know, “What are you doing? Like what do you do that you are these things?”

AMANDA:  People do, yeah.

KIM:  Yeah.

AMANDA:  I must say, I’ve been doing—I’ve been very into fitness—I think I joined my first gym when I was 17. I’m 44 now and I’ve always worked out weights or yoga or aerobic, cardio. I love my fitness. In the last six months, my physique has changed to a point where it’s noticeable to the outside world. You know when they say, if you do something, like you’ll notice it in the first three weeks and then other people will start to notice or your closest family will notice, and then the outside world will begin to notice.

The physique of my body has changed. The shape, the flatness or my tummy, the tone in my legs, and the perkiness of my butt, which is very nice, and my breasts have changed shape. They’re just fuller, more perky, just more lively. It’s noticeable to the outside world. People do ask. “What program are you doing? What are you doing these days for fitness?” My husband and I just laugh, because we’re like, “Well, it’s actually…” I have not changed what I’ve been doing in the gym. It’s actually what I’ve been doing outside the gym that has—

KIM:  Do you tell them?

AMANDA:  Well, with some—it depends on who it is. Yes, most of the time, we will just say, “It’s actually—she’s really well-fucked.” [Laughs] Which most people handle it very well, but yeah, it depends on your audience. Yeah.

KIM:  I love that because that’s further acknowledgement of when we’re truly embodied, we really open up into that space and all that energy flows through us. It’s unstoppable. We occupy ourselves in a different way. But this is also the fact that it’s literal, tangible energy, and the more that we’re moving it and recirculating it, it is this truly rejuvenative force and it shows.

We wear it. I talk about the well-fucked glow, but I also talk about what you just said, the well-fucked body. People’s bodies begin to change. Often they lose weight, they get, like you’re saying, like breasts change shape, cocks get larger, it becomes just a more svelte kind of toned-ness to it, where we’re like really stepping in. Our physique is a truer representation of our inner alignment. We’re more in alignment in ourselves and our bodies show that, and I’ve seen it exactly the same, where people don’t change their diet, they don’t change their exercise. Yet they have this noticeably different change in their bodies.

AMANDA:  I actually did say that in my feedback to Well-F**ked Woman. It wasn’t that I had changed so much as I’d actually become who was underneath everything in the first place. With like all your traumas and every-day life, you pile on all these issues and that can take on physical form, the issues that you have. Like I had the lump on my throat and breastfeeding many babies changed the shape of my breasts.

But yeah, once I started doing this work, it was like the inner me evolved and you could see that inner glow just in my outside body, which is beautiful.

Just in regard to telling people I’m a Well-F**ked Woman, sometimes we do say I’m well-fucked, but if it’s not in those words, it will be, “We’re just in the best place that our marriage has ever been in. We’re so connected and we’re so together.” Yeah, we do share it. It just depends on the wording. [Laughs] 

KIM:  Right. Fantastic. I think you’ve covered a lot. Is there anything else you’d like to add?

AMANDA:  No, I don’t think so. I think I have covered—yeah, everything I can think of at this point. There is just so much. There are so many levels and so many layers to go and there is probably the one thing that I have learnt that I will share, is that there’s no destination. Like every single day there will be something and sometimes it can be a really big acknowledgement, something that’s like really shifting, that I’ll go, wow, I didn’t even realize that was an issue for me, or that I’d buried that so deeply. Then other times, there’ll just be a little thing, where somebody, like a guy might upset me at work, where I would never have said anything before, I can now speak myself without feeling any like jitters within my body. It just comes out so clearly because I feel well within my right to say what I want to say.

There’s little minor changes that happen every day and sometimes there’s really big things that happen. But something happens every single day. The deeper that Mark and I—that’s my husband—go with this work, the more connected we become, and the daily practices just become nonnegotiable. I actually don’t remember the last time that we missed a day. It would be—I’m talking months—that we missed a day of having sexual connection. It’s just part of the daily routine. Yeah, it’s not a decision to be like, “We have to go have sex,” or “We have to do something to connect.” It just is part of the energetic flow. It’s like that infinity symbol. I just feel like we flow in and around each other and you can just feel the pull and you can feel the flow and the push of each other and yeah, we just come back to each other and reconnect and it’s every single day. Which, thank you, is amazing. 

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