The Aphrodisiac of Truth – Transcript
Truth is beauty, and beauty is truth. We are living in a time when truth is a hot commodity! It’s scarce! We can’t get it from news outlets or politicians or so-called medical professionals. You can find some on the black market of Telegram and from the mouths of those who dare to speak it in the face of threats of being fired from their jobs, bodily harm, and murder. Yeah, murder.
The president of Tanzania was just murdered for daring to question the global narrative. If you remember him, last year he got a batch of the so-called latest, greatest viral sensation tests, and he tested a goat, a papaya, and a durian. He sent these away, and they all came back positive!
He announced these test results to the world, making a mockery of the latest, greatest viral sensation. The Guardian issued a stern warning to Mr. Magufuli on February 8, 2021. The headline said, “It’s time for Africa to rein in Tanzania’s president.” I guess he didn’t listen because now he’s dead.
You could say that the stakes are high when it comes to telling the truth. Many people fold. Instead of telling the truth, they cave to an under-fucked mob of angry orcs. As though the opinions of orcs are what anyone ought to care about. Some people, for fear of losing their income and their apparent reputation, fall into Stockholm Syndrome. They didn’t do anything wrong, but they start to believe that they did and so they apologize.
By the way, if you want to see the best apology video ever made, go watch the Kim Anami Apology Video. No one apologizes like me.
Then the apologizer—except not me—endures a compulsory walk of shame and ceremonial shit-throwing that eventually restores his or her membership into the ranks of the under-fucked conformity. And the world eventually forgets that these people once dared to speak up. Or does it? Do the accusers really forget, or do they now know that this person has no actual ethics or morals to stand by?
And the accused—do they ever forget that they completely whored themselves out to a mob of angry under-fucked orcs, or is their Stockholm Syndrome fear and utter lack of self-respect so high that they delude themselves into thinking they were violent racists or transphobes or whatever moronic, hyperbolic, and nonsensical, made-up term gets thrown at them? Oh, the lie of a lie.
Let’s bring this down to the microcosm of personal and intimate relationships. One of the foundations of my work in creating conscious intimacy is the idea of radical honesty. Telling the truth everywhere you can. This means that in dealing with your intimate partner, the modus operandi is truth. Not white lies or sins of omission or outright lies. It’s truth.
If you are living a life of integrity where you are in alignment with yourself and your purpose, there is no need to lie, is there? You don’t have anything to hide. You don’t have a secret life. You aren’t saying that you believe one thing and then acting opposite to that, unless you are.
You aren’t saying you believe one thing and then acting opposite to that, unless you are. So much of the modeling that we’ve seen for intimate relationships or even for interpersonal relationships in general in our culture is based on the belief that white lies are fine so as not to hurt someone’s feelings or the tacit giant lie of don’t ask/don’t tell is also fine.
Let me be clear. If this is the foundation of your relationship, you will never have good sex. I often use the metaphor of a clear pane of glass that exists between two people. When you are telling the truth to each other, this glass remains clear and clean. If you are in the habit of telling lies and white lies and holding back and obscuring the truth, the glass begins to accumulate splotches of mud on it. The longer you do this, the more the glass grows muddier and muddier. It starts to obscure your vision of each other. Eventually, the dirt and the grime grow so thick that you can’t even see each other through the glass. It has now become a wall.
The core of powerful, cataclysmic, life-changing sex is surrender. If you don’t trust your partner, you cannot surrender to them. Even if you don’t consciously know they are lying, you unconsciously do. We all know everything on some level, so you start distancing yourself from them. Maybe you begin telling your own lies or white lies and pretty soon, you have an un-fuckable relationship.
There are plenty of convenient excuses out there from babies to work to stress to menopause. They are all bullshit. The reason you aren’t fucking well or often is the lack of truth in your relationship. Not your hormones or your time of the month or your boss yelling at you. It’s just you and your lack or perhaps your unwillingness to tell the truth. Because guess what? There is no greater turn-on than the truth.
There is the truth of your heart, and there is the truth of your genitals. Heart truth is being honest about how you really feel, not pulling any punches. Not padding, side-stepping, or hiding. It’s throwing it out there, being vulnerable, and most of all, risking that if you tell the deep, honest truth, you may lose your partner.
Or maybe it’s not always a risk, but it’s confronting the fear. Often, I think people have a fear that if they tell the real truth, they’re going to lose their partner. Their partner will see this side of them and might not like it. They might not like you. For me, personally, and I think for most people, the truth is better than a lie. There is a divining fork of truth that when we hear it, something in us registers. We feel awakened; we feel reassured; and we open. In my experience, personally and professionally, being loyal to the truth is really all there is.
Another word for this is integrity. Being integral, being whole. Not having compartments that are hidden. You bring it all.
The universe rewards courage. The courage that it takes to express your truth and to stand behind it or in front of it. I’ve seen that lately in terms of people speaking up about the current global narrative. I have watched certain people take public stances to voice something that may not be popular, and I have watched how, despite the arrows slung at them, it doesn’t matter. By speaking their truth and standing with it, they are initiated into a new spiritual plane. They and their lives change. They pass the test.
I look at life as a spiritual journey. The hero or the warrior’s quest. We are here to learn and grow and evolve into the highest versions of ourselves, or not. We can view life as a series of challenges and tests that are there to see if we are worthy, if we have integrity and strength, or not. The person we need to answer to is not a mob of under-fucked orcs, and we don’t need the judgment and approval of anyone other than ourselves.
There is a concept that I refer to—the lie of a lie. This is the idea that people who lie, whether to themselves or others, think that they are getting away with it. They feel smug in the knowledge that they pulled one over on whomever. But the ethers register everything. This is how partners know when the other person is being unfaithful to them. They know something is amiss, and it begins to stain the relationship.
Even if the person lying thinks that they were so clever and they got away with it, this is the lie of a lie because we all pick up on these things, even if we aren’t fully conscious of what we know, but we know. There is this entire weight of truth unexpressed, which is very, very heavy.
There is a huge cost to not being truthful or expressing your truth. It often shows up in extra and literal weight on the body and depression. Our libido, which is our appetite for life, evaporates. But since people think they are getting away with the lie of a lie, they don’t understand the connection between the lack of truth in their lives and the overall depressive and growth-limiting effect that it has on them. Lies stop growth.
You have heard the spiritual axiom, “Grow or die.” Well, in this case, it’s grow or lie.
Let’s move into the realm of truth-telling. What happens when you tell the truth, or you hear the truth? It turns you on; it lights you up. It makes you laugh and cry and come.
When I send couples off to tell the truth to each other, it might take them hours or many hours and many days to plow through the life of lies and omissions that they have been living, often for years, but one of the sure ways to know that they have broken through is that they want to fuck each other again.
In fact, they will be in the middle of one of their truth-telling conversations and they cannot keep their hands off each other. Because now they are living in the terrain of raw, vulnerable, open, honest communication. Their walls are down. They’ve been dissolved. [Laughs] They feel so connected emotionally, and their hearts are so open because they have cleared away so much space that they now want to merge physically too.
The same thing applies to our genitals. They need truth. They thrive on it. This means listening to them and feeding them.
I am an anomaly in the world of sex ed because my message is that we listen to our bodies and our genitals. We do not override them. Our genitals, our whole bodies, are giving us messages constantly. If we listen to them, they become our allies. If we ignore them, they become cut off, and they actually often get cut off, literally.
Listening to them means that we don’t slather on the lube, and when we aren’t hard, we don’t pop pills. We ask why. We assume that there is a deeper truth to be told.
If a woman isn’t wet, it’s because she isn’t turned on emotionally or physically. If a man isn’t hard, it’s the same thing. The work I do is all about uncovering the lies so the truth can emerge.
What is going to make that pussy gushing wet or that 65-year-old cock rock hard and ready? Truth! [Laughs] The more we pretend, the more that we disown these parts of ourselves, which are our very essence—the more it becomes normalized in our culture to lie. To encourage our bodies to lie, to cover up the lies. But when we start telling the truth, we open the door to the flow of the universe to come through us, and this manifests in, like I said, solid erections and beautiful, flowing, gushing pussies. They are symbolic of this flow that is now happening within us.
The way I see it, there are three crucial layers of truth-telling that can help you to ascend spiritually and sexually. First, you tell the truth to yourself, and [laughs] that can be a challenge in and of itself. Then you tell it to your intimate partner and your genitals and the world at large in your universe, whether that’s socially, at your work, with your family.
Telling the truth is a medicine that heals many, if not all, ills. And I would say that a huge number of physical illnesses in the body could be attributed to some kind of suppression of truth. A lack of resolution, of trauma, of beliefs, of experiences, of desires, is suppressing that stuff. It’s suppressing truth.
Truth is this balm and medicine; it lines you up with the divining rod and the energetic flow of the universe. It puts you in that flow. Truth is the key. Because it’s such a feat of spiritual magnitude, it won’t be easy a lot of the time, but the good news is that once you start doing it, you get better at it, and it becomes your default way of life.
This is how you grow into a spiritual giant. No one reaches spiritual majesty through the weakness and cowardice of lying. You get there by brazenly and unabashedly having fun with the truth. It is a high. It really is. And it’s magnetic. People are starved for the truth, and they’ll clamor for it unless they are so delusional that they actually want more lies to support their delusions, for example, under-fucked orcs.
When I put out my faux apology video last week, I was so encouraged to see how many of you loved it, how many of you see and are hungry for the truth, and how enlivened and inspired it made you feel.
I invite you this week to go out and go hard with telling the truth. Tell it everywhere you can. Tell your friends, your lovers, and even those under-fucked, cowardly orcs who might be trying to bully you. Nothing has more power than the truth. Even if you think that you are losing a battle someplace, the larger war of you, your purpose in life, your spiritual destiny, is ultimately won by your truth. You will move faster, farther, and freer when you dare to tell it, and it will reward you with the highest pinnacle of a life and relationship that you have now earned.
The Coming Together Salon is coming soon! In my signature online 10-week course for couples, we cover everything from radically honest communication techniques to radically awesome Tantric pleasure skills and multiple orgasms. You can sign up for the free video preview series at KimAnami.com under Sexual Savant Salons and then look for the Coming Together for Couples Salon.
