F*ck Them Until You Change Them
I’m always talking about the transformative power of sex.
It’s where the whole “well-f**ked woman” and “well-f**ked man” memes comes from.
This is the idea that the changes and effects of really good lovemaking are written all over someone’s face and body.
And so are the bad ones.
It becomes so obvious that other people can see and feel them.
As a lover, it’s your duty to fuck your partner open.
To penetrate them (man or woman) so deeply, that they forget who they are, they drop all the preconceived, civilized notions of who they are, and a truer, deeper, more real and powerful version of themselves rises to the surface.
Fuck them until you change them.
If you’ve finished making love with your partner and they aren’t glowing, if they aren’t looking at you like you are some kind of messiah god (does this seem lofty? I promise you it isn’t), then you have further to go.
For women to reach the deep, internal, vaginal and life-changing orgasms, it can take time.
If her partner is ejaculating within a few minutes, she’s not going to get there.
The same thing goes for men.
Even though they might think they are satisfied with a three-minute pump, dump and schlump, they simply don’t know what they don’t know.
They don’t know that they are meant to feel like running a marathon after having sex, rather than needing a nap.
My big, barometric question is always: Does sex leave you feeling rejuvenated, energized, transformed, ecstatic and fuck-changed?
If not, you are doing it wrong.
My work is all about showing you how to do it right.
The beautiful thing is that the “fuck-changing” becomes effortless.
Meaning, you aren’t trying to “change” things about yourself; they just happen.
They are the natural by-product of good-fucking.
So what that means, is that the main thing you need to be focusing on is having epic sex.
Of all the years—about 30—and all the different therapies—a shit ton—that I’ve experimented with over the years, none have changed me so quickly, so profoundly and so permanently as really. good. fucking.
The kind of fucking that replaces addictive behaviours, loses weight, turns anger into patience and depression into action.
It’s all possible. And it just happens.
I speak to my clients (and I know from my own experiences) that the stuff they’ve struggled with and applied so much willpower to—with no success—and tried so hard to fix with their minds and best efforts…all of that fell flat.
Until they got well-f**ked.
Being well-f**ked can be scary.
It’s primal and messy and wet and totally out of control.
And that’s when the magic happens.
To help create the kind of fucking that changes you, here are a few tips:
1) Know thyself.
A woman has to be comfortable with herself: her body, her ideas about sexuality, her own vagina.
This applies to men too: he has to seek out his own beliefs and blind spots in sex and relationships, and cultivate a connection with and ownership of, his own cock.
I have worked with countless women who haven’t spent much time with their vaginas.
I know my vagina inside and out! I’ve spent A LOT of time with that thing, and so have my lovers. 🙂
I have brought myself to each type of orgasm—clitoral, G-Spot and cervical and my lovers have brought me there too.
You have to explore it, understand what it likes and use it as your power source.
Many men are victims of The Come Fairy.
You know. She’s that little fairy that dances around and magically shows up when you are about to come and POOF! she waves her magic wand and all of a sudden you ejaculate!
Men need to build stamina so they can go the long haul to fuck-change women, and they do this through having a conscious cock.
One they are in complete control of, that is the ACTUAL magic wand that can transform him and his woman.
This is all about knowing and owning. You need to know and own all your parts—especially your sexual ones in order to harness your superpowers.
If you are dissociated from parts of yourself—including your genitalia, which are the essence of who you are—remember, all of your creative and reproductive energy is housed here—you can’t capitalize on your true power.
One of the best tools for reconnecting to your genitals is yoni and lingam massage.
These practices awaken numb genitals, help to release past trauma and energetic imprinting.
They bring sensation back, increase your sensitivity and wildly boost your orgasmic potential.
You re-integrate your genitals and inhabit them.
Check out my YouTube videos on this:
Yoni Massage for Orgasms and Healing
Expert Penis/Lingam Massage
2) Penetration and radical honesty.
To get into the territory of transformational, life-changing sex, you have to be willing and courageous enough to go deep.
To expose yourself, and pry open the curtains that hide your partner too.
We all have them.
The best lovers softly—and sometimes forcefully—get us to open.
We do this for each other.
You don’t let each other hide.
You call each other out with love.
You hold each other down and love the fuck out of each other. And fuck the shit out of each other—and by this I mean headboard-slamming sex and I also mean that by fucking each other with intense love and admiration, you literally fuck the demons out of each other.
They just evaporate.
This is a quote from a Tantric text, that I love:
“Sex has the power of both illusion and liberation, depending on the participants’ degree of conscious awareness. Sexual initiation is the selfless bestowing of one’s sexuality on another.
When a person accepts a sexual act as a gift, exchanges take place on several different levels simultaneously.
There is a physical exchange and blending of secretions, a psychological exchange of life energies and polarities, a psychological exchange of attitudes, a Karmic exchange through a convergence of destinies—and there is a spiritual exchange, a communion between spirits.
On the highest level, all these exchanges add to the quality of the couple.
During high acts of Tantric sex, Karmas and unresolved personality conflicts can be totally transcended.”
3) Time and the 3-hour sex date
A lot of it simply comes down to the time you put in.
I’ll give you an example.
When I go for a massage, I always book 90 minutes – 2 hours.
Why? Because the first 30 minutes is me settling in, shutting off my mind and letting go of the dialogue in my head.
I’m sinking into my body.
After 30 minutes, I’m starting to arrive.
The same applies to sex and sexual play (not just intercourse).
The first 30 minutes is settling in, getting out of your heads, and your children’s heads, and your bosses heads.
And getting into your genitals.
Into the free flow. In The Zone.
If you quit before the 30 minutes are up, you’ll likely still be in your heads.
The free flow is where you can shut everything else out and just follow your deepest instincts.
You lose your inhibitions more and you get used to losing them.
Everything becomes intuitive and effortless and a dance.
My religion of the 3-hour-sex-date is all about expanding time and letting go.
You need this to nurture yourselves and create a sanctuary for the deeper stuff to rise to the surface.
4) Hit the edge and then keep going.
My life mantra is all about the idea that there is always another level to go.
In fact, that’s what “Anami” means in Sanskrit: that there is always another level(of evolution to get to.
Enlightenment isn’t a static destination, it’s always a work in progress.
So when you hit one wild, life-changing orgasm, keep going.
Hit the next one.
Sometimes we fear we may have reached a ceiling and that’s as good as it gets.
It gets even better.
Have the courage to trust it does.
When you are too tired and think you just can’t go any further, just can’t keep your legs open wide enough, or propped up in that position from behind where your inner thigh muscles are creaking, keep going even more.
The gold is just beyond the spot you didn’t think you can get to.
This is also good training for your outer life, in receiving more and more and more bliss and abundance, orgasms and ecstasy.
More life-changing epic-ness.
When I am speechless and drunk and saturated with good-fuck medicine, I’m a new person.
I radiate, I glow, I’m graceful and wittier and more eloquent than ever before.
Because I was fuck-changed.
When your partner is unusually kind and loving and pro-active after a great love-making session, it’s because they’ve been fuck-changed.
The world needs more well-fucked.
And you, my loves, can give it to them.