Men: Are you lasting long enough in bed?
One of the main reasons I learned Tantra was so I could have lovers who could have sex with me all night.
Yes, I liked the depth of Tantra. The expansion. Using sex as medicine.
And I loved the idea of marathon sex.
75% of men ejaculate within 3 minutes of intercourse.
I shudder to think that many women have started out their sexual lives thinking that three minutes is all there is to it.
That would explain a lifelong aversion to sex.
My early sexual experiences were with partners who were older than me. They had mastered the art of staying hard, firm and steady.
I thought that was what sex was supposed to be: hours and hours of life-changing bliss.
Then I met other men.
These ones were much less well-versed in the hard arts.
They were very quick to the draw.
The sex had barely even started and they were done.
And of course, so was I.
My view is that sex has the capacity to change your life. If you aren’t creating new life–i.e. babies—then that same powerful energy ought to be used to fuel your existence.
Three minutes isn’t going to do it. Or five. Or ten.
A minimum of 45 minutes of deep, soul-f**king will take you to cataclysmic places. Where you can begin to break down your artificial parts and strip to your true self.
Sex can do that to you.
Or, rather, marathon sex can do that to you.
One of the major intimate practices that men need to learn, is the building of stamina in bed.
Consider it the sexual equivalent of character building.
Your stamina truly does reflect your sexual character.
Can you take it fast, deep and out of control? Are you easily thrown off your game?
Your stamina is key in your woman’s ability to let go and truly surrender to you.
If you demonstrate, or she intuits, that you just can’t make it, she won’t open up to you on a deep level.
She’ll feel that she can’t trust you.
She’ll fear, that at some crucial moment, as she’s approaching one of the deepest orgasms of her life, as she’s all splayed out and vulnerable, that you’ll rip the rug out from underneath her.
That lack of trust will begin to spread. You’ll attempt to make other decisions; decisions about household affairs, about children, about your lives together. and she’ll overrule you. She’ll dismiss you. She’ll even sneer at you.
She (and you) may not even understand that the two are connected.
But they are.
A woman’s sexual work is cultivating a constant simmer—a warmth that allows her to be responsive anytime, anyplace.
A man’s sexual work is to build stamina. Sexually, and emotionally, you need to be able to go the distance.
You need to be able to choose when you orgasm. And, your orgasms ought to be those that energize you rather than deplete you.
Remember the barometer for “doing sex right?”
If your sex life/orgasms are energizing, rejuvenating and transformative, then you are doing them right.
If you feel depleted, tired or “checked out” after sex, then you are doing it wrong.
Men who collapse after ejaculation also cause women to feel abandoned in those immediate moments after sex.
Every man is capable of lasting for hours. Every man can be a marathon f**ker.
The truth is, we want more of you.
You turn us on the most, when you are unflappable. When you stand firm and hold your own, in every aspect of your life.
Then we feel that we, in turn, can lean on you.
Our hearts open. Our legs open.
That surrender is key to life-changing sex. It also cures your woman of FUKME.
The second video in my Sexual Mastery for Men series is up. This one’s on… you guessed it. Stamina.
In this most recent video, I share the biggest key and technique to orgasmic control.
Start practicing tonight!
Image: Nicola Ranaldi