Well-F**ked Weight Loss – Transcript
Well-f**ked weight loss. I often talk in my work about the life-altering power of cataclysmic sex. Not only does it give you ecstatic orgasms, but it changes you as a person. The things that no longer serve you, that aren’t an expression of who you really are, drop away, and you become a more authentic, true version of yourself without even trying to do it.
An example of this is not giving a f**k. A major hallmark of becoming a Well-F**ked Woman and person who is emerging into their true self is truly not giving a f**k what other people think of you. You don’t try not to care; you just don’t care. [Laughs]
Another area of radical transformation we often see is in well-f**ked weight loss. When people are well-f**ked and really tapping into their sexual energy, the extra pounds just drop off them. The fascinating thing is, they don’t even change their diets or exercise more, even though they’ve usually tried all those things.
They don’t do anything different except that they start having gourmet sex. Gourmet sex is the kind of sex that involves all parts of you. Emotions, mind, spirit, and body. It’s the equivalent of a gourmet meal versus a junk food one. It’s full of openness and heart and surrender and connection. The best kind of food.
When people have a steady diet of this, they stop reaching for other things to fill them up. They feel full, fulfilled, and satiated.
So that’s one part of the equation. You stop substituting food for well-f**ked love. Then you have all the hormonal and neurotransmitter benefits of sex and orgasms. Every high-quality sexual encounter generates a slew of mood-boosting chemicals that get you so high, your cravings for other ways to get high evaporate.
Instead, you build that beautiful energy from within. Did you know that every time you have an orgasm, you flood your system with oxytocin? Oxytocin is the well-being hormone. This makes you feel contented and at peace. It also has the effect of wiping out cortisol, which is your stress hormone.
If you’re operating on a steady diet of cortisol, one of the side effects shows up as a protruding belly. A paunch, if you will. You can orgasm your way to a flat stomach.
But let’s go deeper than all of that. The most important part of the great sex equals weight loss equation is more mysterious and energetic. It defies the laws of calories in, calories out. It’s more like the laws of orgasms in, orgasms out.
What I have seen over and over again is how pounds just drop off more than with any kind of direct weight loss effort. Sexual energy is powerful energy, and when you start to tap into it and harvest it, it recirculates through your body. It acts as this powerful combustion engine.
It burns through all your stagnation and heaviness. It scours through your energy pathways and meridians, and it blasts through stuckness.
Remember, this is your life force energy that you are now beginning to tap into and recirculate and redistribute through your entire system and your entire life.
A client I’d been working with shimmied her way into my studio. As soon as she walked in, she immediately pulled up her shirt and said, “Look, I’ve lost 10 pounds,” and she was wearing this gorgeous, lacy bra and had this beautiful, svelte belly. Her face was totally radiant. All of it was stunning.
She’d been going to trainers and nutritionists over the past year. She was exercising regularly; she ate quite well. She was very well-versed in personal growth, and she led women in her own classes for a living. Yet, she struggled with this seemingly impossible-to-lose extra 10 pounds on her frame.
And she’d recently met a new man, and she was applying the principles of well-f**ked woman-ness she’d been learning through our work together. She was holding her own with this guy, asking for what she wanted, being radically open and honest, and allowing herself to truly open and let go, emotionally and sexually.
Then, suddenly, she realized that she was 10 pounds lighter. The weight had evaporated!
So what happened? She’d had that last 10 pounds loved and f**ked out of her. The weight in people is the accumulation of all their unresolved stuff. Instead of processing their wounds and their hurts, they file them away in their thighs, in their butts, and their bellies, and there they stay until we heal and love them away.
Our defenses and the stories we tell ourselves all take up energetic and physical space. “Unlovable. I can’t open my heart. It’s not safe for me to be with someone. Everyone always leaves me.” We wear these things on us like armor until the days and nights when we dare to open up again. Then we let them fall by the wayside.
How many pounds are in years of grief or resentment? 10, 20, 50, 100, 200? When you open your heart and your genitals to someone, not only do you heal a world of past hurt and trauma, but you tap into your superpowers. There is no greater and faster healing balm than sexual love. The proof is always in the pudding.
When you are truly in this magical state of openness, you transcend physical laws. You create magnificent things. Your calorie count and your exercise-burning count are irrelevant because now you are burning off karma and emotional waste and psychic pain, all tossed into the alchemical f**k fire and reborn.
The gourmet sex I speak of is the food of life. This is what feeds you more deeply than anything you could eat, consume, or do in your life. It really is the food of the gods. I suggest you have a steady diet of it.
Today we’re speaking with Mollie, who’s going to share her magical weight loss, voice-finding, and well-f**ked story.
***Well-F**ked Weight Loss All Star Interview***
KIM: Hello, Mollie, welcome.
MOLLIE: Hi, Kim, thanks for having me.
KIM: It’s a pleasure to have you here. Mollie is an alumnus of Vaginal Kung Fu, Coming Together, and The Well-F**ked Woman. How is it going, Mollie?
MOLLIE: It’s been going really amazing. Last year, I called it the year of Kim Anami. I started with you in January, and you basically took me through a transformation over the past year, and it was stuff that I didn’t even realize I needed to change and own in my life. But yeah, it’s been incredible.
KIM: What I’m always looking for when I talk to people is, where did reconnecting to your sexual energy create changes in your life? I always talk about sexual energy as this incredible catalyst. When people get conscious of their sexual energy, when they activate it, when they wake it up, when they wake up their genitalia—which is what we do in Vaginal Kung Fu, especially—they start to see shifts in different areas of their lives. That energy starts to have a real flow source now. It has a place it can actually come out and express itself, and we see those changes and transformations in all areas of your life.
Where would you say you saw that most happen in your life?
MOLLIE: Well, I’ll focus on, as I like to call it, the shiny penny results first. After I got married, I gained 40 pounds. Within a two-year period, I was super stressed out at my job, and there were parts of my relationship and my life that I wasn’t really owning or dealing with, and trying to kind of numb and ignore, and it obviously caught up with me.
Over the past year, I’ve lost 20 pounds just from doing this work and facing the stuff that I really wasn’t willing to look at and didn’t even know that I needed to look at.
It’s been a journey of finding my voice and really owning my truth. There were so many things and dynamics in my relationship with my husband and with other people that I wasn’t speaking up for myself. I’m a total people pleaser. I didn’t want to ruffle feathers or rock the boat or anything like that.
Every time that I’ve started to speak up for myself and own who I am and what I want, it’s been so much better. It’s brought me and my husband closer. It’s repaired relationships.
It’s also helped me in my business. I own a business, and in the past couple of months, after finishing the salons, I really gained some momentum. I started bringing in income. I had my three highest-income months.
I didn’t understand some of the things that were holding me back, and when I first heard you and the way that you talk about sexuality and how it’s so holistic, I mean, it truly is, and that’s kind of the way that I feel this work has impacted me holistically throughout my entire life, my relationship, my business, my body.
There were so many things that I just couldn’t put words to. I knew something wasn’t right, but I didn’t quite know what it was. And I also didn’t know that it was okay to not be okay with the things that weren’t right. I had blinders on, and it was almost like I could only see what was right in front of me. You helped me see, “No, that’s actually kind of f**ked up.”
You’ve got to own that, and you’ve got to deal with that, and you’ve got to look at that and speak up for yourself in that way.
I can’t say enough about this work, and I think that if people hear you and you speak to them, they need to just dive in and do the work. I really wanted to do Well-F**ked Woman, but Vaginal Kung Fu came up first, after I had spent weeks going through all your YouTube material and every single podcast you’d ever been on. I listened to all of it. I just knew, “I have to work with this woman.”
And so I did Vaginal Kung Fu first, and then realized I needed to keep going. I don’t know what life looks like without Kim.
So I went through the other two, and it was a beautiful progression because it kind of just met me where I was at and helped me get to the place where I needed to be.
KIM: Something that I hear and know from my own experience as well is when you start to get more in touch with your sexual energy, these things, these changes, just start to manifest without you necessarily having to try really hard to make them happen.
For example, you said some things about being a people pleaser or losing weight. Would you say that you were super-focused on changing those things or that they seem to erupt naturally out of the fact that you were—well, part of it is consciousness.
Sometimes I think about the metaphor of weight as being the things that we try to store away and don’t deal with. Then they literally manifest as physical weight on our body, in our being and our psyche.
Then, as we are willing to confront that and open these old doors, the weight can drop off. Often, with people, it has nothing to do with the fact that they exercised more and they got a trainer and they ate less. Obviously, those are really important elements to a healthy lifestyle and diet and weight loss.
But some people do all those things, and they still hold onto weight. As they do deeper inner work, often I’ve seen the sexual work be a really pivotal piece of this, and pounds evaporate off them because it’s the energetic that they’re holding onto. It’s the energetic weight that’s holding them down, rather than extra food.
MOLLIE: And that’s exactly what was happening with me. I mean, I had worked out twice a day and watched every single thing I ate, and it still wasn’t coming off. I had gone to see doctors and this and that. One of my doctors actually said to me, “You’re 30. That’s what happens when you turn 30.” And I said, “I refuse to accept that.”
But I knew, and so as soon as you said in the salon that it was issues that you’re holding in your tissues, I thought, “Oh my god, I know that’s what it is.” It was kind of like, “Yeah, that’s it.”
So no, it wasn’t anything more than I had been doing, and that was the piece that was so frustrating about not being able to lose the weight for the couple of years prior to that. I knew how to lose weight. Why was I not losing it? Why was it not coming off?
Through doing this work and coming back to my body, it was still doing the stuff that I normally did, but it was working because I knew that the weight was more emotional and energetic as opposed to being because I was having too many cookies.
KIM: Right, exactly. Even what you described, this energy of being a people pleaser. Because to me, that would be putting our needs aside and not dealing with them. And again, that would be like this energetic weight, this stuff that we’re not processing, we’re not receiving. The internalizing of whatever resentment we might have and just putting it to the side, which again, would show up as weight.
Tell me about finding your voice.
MOLLIE: I think that was kind of the most pivotal thing for me, and it wasn’t even something that I fully realized I wasn’t doing. Again, I kind of equate that to being so blinded. “This is all I can see.” In my relationship, I wouldn’t speak up about certain things. I wouldn’t speak up about my experience having sex, and I wouldn’t really speak up if he didn’t want to have sex, and that would hurt my feelings.
It was a case of off-the-table-itis. He would take issues off the table that I’d want to talk about, and I just kind of got so used to that dynamic, and that’s the way it was. It wasn’t until I said, “Wait a second. That’s not the dynamic that I want. This is what I want,” and I really owned that instead of tiptoeing around it. Just standing in my own energy and being aware that these dynamics are not okay. They’re not what I want, and it’s okay to have them not be what I want, and I can change them. I just need to actually own that for myself and say that, and then be willing to deal with the consequences on the other side of that.
KIM: That’s a really courageous thing because we live in a culture that is white-lie-itis, you could say, where it’s considered more valuable or socially accepted to not rock the boat and to just go along with the status quo and not really tell the truth. Tell some of the truth, but if the truth could hurt someone or create a disturbance in some way—which we don’t really know, but we have that fear—then we don’t say it, and people put it under the rug.
I feel like living a radically honest life is a very conscious decision and a very courageous decision because you’re trusting in the concept of the truth as being your guiding compass more than I think what your mind might say. So the mind has fears and ideas about what direction we ought to go in.
But if you’re trying to identify and then express your truth, you’re putting your faith in a higher self, really. Your higher self. I think anyone’s higher self. Because they’re trusting that somehow that’s the most important thing to follow, rather than these other, more socially acceptable negotiations.
MOLLIE: Absolutely. I feel like doing that wasn’t necessarily making me happy. It was coming to terms with, “Okay, well, I’m not happy now, so at least if I say what I need to say, then I have a chance of fixing it and making it better.”
Surprisingly, every time I did that, because it was truth that I was speaking, it resonated differently with the person who was receiving it because it wasn’t that sugar-coated, half-truth bullsh*t. It was speaking from my heart to the other person’s heart, “This is how I feel,” and I was afraid of how that would land, but it was always received in such an unexpected and positive way that I thought, “Why the f**k wasn’t I doing this earlier?”
KIM: It’s interesting because I feel like we all have this divining rod of truth, and when we hear truth, even if it might not be exactly what we thought we wanted to hear, something in us responds to it positively. At least we know it’s the truth. Something in us feels safe and acknowledged because we know at least we’re dealing with the truth.
But when we’re dancing around all these things, it’s very unsafe. You know what I mean? Because we’re living in this web of lies and dishonesty and uncertainty.
But at least when you have the truth out in the open, you can work with that. That’s real, tangible, raw material.
MOLLIE: Yeah, absolutely. I think it just comes back to fear. We’re all so scared sometimes to say or do certain things. I think this work empowered me to realize, “I don’t want to come from a place of fear. That’s not going to get me what I want, and that’s not who I want to be.” Just checking back in with myself and saying, “What feels right to me?” and trusting that has been really amazing.
Yeah, it’s definitely an overall holistic approach, and the things that I needed to get were the things that I got. Sometimes we don’t even know what that is when we come into this work. “What do I really need?” We come in having this kind of external problem of, “I want to have a better sex life,” or this and that. Then we come out on the other side, and we realize, “That all happened, but that wasn’t actually the issue that I needed to fix. It was some other part of myself that I needed to own or accept that, through this work, I was able to do.”
KIM: That’s beautiful. It’s like the core issue, the source, rather than a Band-Aid or superfluous issues. It’s the real core of where these problems are coming from, which are then having a shaping effect on a person’s entire life.
I love when you talk about finding your voice and speaking up, all these throat analogies. We talk about the connection between the throat and the vagina. Once you start to connect with and open up the vagina, you tend to open up the throat chakra, in terms of self-expression and truth-telling.
How did you see that connection as your vagina woke up and became more activated?
MOLLIE: It couldn’t be truer. It’s interesting, too, how you talk about a Well-F**ked Woman not giving a f**k about anything. It was kind of like starting to own and embody that energy. It did start to come out in ways where I said, “Okay, this is who I am. This is who I am at my core, and this is who I’ve been.” Through life and stuff, you lose that. You lose that person, and then you’re wondering, “Where is she? I know she was in there at one point, but I can’t find her anymore.”
Doing this work and coming back to myself and my vagina and all that helped me realize, “That’s who I am again.”
KIM: Beautiful. I love that. I really love hearing that idea of finding your true voice, because the other connection that I see is that our sexual energy is our blueprint. This is our genetic coding. This is the actual essence of who we are, and when we get more in touch with that energy, we start to become more of who we really are and express that out into the world. It sounds like that’s what’s happened with you too.
MOLLIE: Yeah, exactly.
KIM: Wonderful. Is there anything else that you’d like to share about your journey to well-f**kedness? And let me just say here, too, that being well-f**ked isn’t necessarily the idea of having lots and lots of sex and being with your partner constantly. It’s about you embodying and owning your sexual energy. You get to this point where you radiate and wear that energy, and that’s what we call a Well-F**ked Woman or a Well-F**ked Man, somebody who is truly embodying that because they inhabit that part of themselves, where before they did not.
Anything else you want to add to the mix?
MOLLIE: I would just say that if people are listening and they’re really resonating with you, they have to take the step and invest and do the work because it really does help you get to the next level and iteration of who you’re supposed to be in this world, so you can share your gifts and follow your path and find that.
When I did that, things started clicking back into place.
KIM: So beautiful. Thank you so much, Mollie. It’s been lovely to have you here.
MOLLIE: Thank you, Kim.
***
If you’re familiar with my work, you know that I say over and over again that you can get to these places on your own or with your partner. You can be a Well-F**ked Woman or person doing all the practices I recommend, from using a yoni egg, self-pleasuring, and yoni massage. And as a man, the process is similar, whether it’s conscious self-pleasuring, cock massage, and cock lengthening/ strengthening exercises to reconnect with that part of your anatomy.
In the next few weeks, we are focusing on the ladies because the Well-F**ked Woman Salon opens soon for registration. This is my signature ten-week salon for women. In it, we explore all your inner worlds, emotional and vaginal. You will learn how to clear sexual blocks and release your unprocessed weight and channel your sexual, creative, and orgasmic energy into your life and work, allowing you to access your genius. Achieve the deeper, life-changing orgasms. Master the technical skills of deep throating, anal sex, and wild hand-jobs, and use these sex acts to accelerate your personal growth and transformation. Come one, come all.
