Why I Don’t Use Lube
Haven’t for years.
I just don’t believe in the stuff.
Except for anal sex. Then I definitely believe. I believe very hard.
But for vaginal sex, I have a no-lube policy.
And I’ll tell you why.
Before I do, here’s a question:
“What does lubrication tell us?”
It says: “Hi! I’m excited. I’m ready. I want you to enter me.”
No, or not enough lubrication, says: “I’m not quite there yet. I need to feel more emotionally connected to you. And/or I need more physical stimulation before you enter me.”
One of my ATF lovers once said to me: “A hungry pussy is a happy pussy.”
Meaning, you want a pussy to be dripping wet and begging you to enter it.
Otherwise, it’s not yet time.
Pre-empting entry is not likely to lead to orgasm.
Or the most fulfilling sex.
Get her there first.
If there is no gush, no slick thighs, back up and do an inventory:
Does she need more stimulation? What really, really sends her over the edge?
Are you two very emotionally in tune? Have you had a good heart-opening conversation in the last couple of days?
Do the work and reap the rewards.
Perpetual wetness ought to be a perpetual state.
One of the most common questions I get is:
“But Kim! I’m a menopausal woman. My hormones are in flux and I just don’t lubricate naturally anymore. I’m aroused, but I need lubrication.”
I had a couple come to see me some years back. She was post-menopausal and gave me the same reasoning about why she needed lubricant.
The couple had a relatively great sex life. Frequent, but they also realized something was missing at a deep level. They communicated well and were still very attracted to each other, even after 30 years.
As we worked together, we uncovered a deep, long-standing block that had been in the space for years, which originated with the wife. They had gotten used to the block, they’d adapted to the block, so much that they’d almost forgotten it was there. It had become part of the furniture in the room.
We dismantled it, healed it and put it to bed.
After that, everything changed.
The wife was texting me telling me how much she was gushing. All the time.
Any unresolved emotional or mental blocks will impede your flow and your juiciness.
It could be an argument you didn’t work though at breakfast time. Or it could be an old, old wound.
Sometimes it’s physical.
Often, actually, it’s just a weak vagina.
One of the main physiological reasons why vaginas don’t lubricate properly is because they are atrophied, as most are.
If the vagina is weak, the circulation is minimal and the lubrication is too.
What’s the solution?
Vaginal kung fu, of course.
Not only does a solid, vaginal strengthening regime tone up your pelvic floor muscles and give you the best orgasms ever, the increased blood flow in the area will up your lubrication.
I’ve had many women go through my vaginal weight lifting regime and, at varying ages, including menopausal, have their natural lubrication return.
My approach is to tackle these things from all angles: emotional, mental, physical and spiritual.
Just like sex itself.
Then you have the best chance of really nailing it.
The Well-F**ked Woman Rides Again
The Well-F**ked Woman salon is now open.
One of the components of the salon is the vaginal weight lifting practice.
An essential life skill for all women. As is picking up furniture and shooting ping pong balls with your vagina.
We also examine and heal the common blocks that women have to claiming and harnessing their sexual power.
And their wetness.
Anyway, don’t just take it from me. Take it from the wetter-than-wet:
“An increase in wetness to tsunamic proportions.”
~ Joanne Davies
“I am wet, wet, wet—100% wetter.”
~ Emily Marynczak
“I remember something you said in a recent video about being wet practically all the time. When I first heard that I was like ‘What in the world is she talking about and how is that even possible?’ Well, I understand now. 🙂 “
~ Vanice Medley
This is one of my most popular salons and it only runs once a year. Registration is open for the next two weeks.