Reclaiming the sacred power and pleasure of your breasts
As beacons of femininity and sexuality—and alchemizers that create the most powerful manna food a human can ingest—breasts are all powerful.
When I was in sixth grade, and we were having some version of a sex ed talk from my elementary school teacher, she encouraged us to use the term “breasts” rather than “boobs”.
Over the years, that has always stuck with me, and I honestly don’t think I’ve ever used the term “boobs” or even said it out loud, except for this podcast title!
Her rationale was that “breasts” is a respectful, honouring word and “boob” was a cheapening one.
And she’s right.
Calling someone a “boob” is… an insult.
A boob is defined as “a stupid person; fool; dunce” and also as “an embarrassing mistake, or blunder”.
Isn’t it crazy how so many of our cuss words in English are genitalia?
- Cunt, pussy
- Dickhead, cocksucker
How did that even come to be???
A woman’s breasts are the most visible expression of human sexuality.
A young girl’s development and transition into puberty is noticed by all.
And, she feels and internalizes all of the new sexual energy and thoughts that are coming her way, initiated by her new breasts appearing.
Breasts are also one of the most commodified expressions of sexuality in marketing.
Cleavage sells everything from cars to beer to toothbrushes.
Breasts become public property, with the promise of sexuality.
A woman is allowed to show nearly all of her breast tissue publicly, except for her nipple—or the hint of it—is considered to cross over the line into the obscene.
Women are chastised and shamed for public breastfeeding, and the age and stage of weaning their children is heavily controlled through pubic opinion.
The size and shape of women’s breasts are also so impacted by cultural ideals, that women will cut open their own bodies and surgically insert plastic bags—the ultimate bra stuffing—risking serious health consequences, in order to receive the external validation of having “nice tits.”
The true metaphysical power and purpose of a woman’s breasts has largely been diminished to objects that belong to others, and are meant to receive other people’s projections.
All of their validation and power comes from without.
I often joke, that in women who have purchased new breasts, instead of the cliche where a woman points to her eyes to direct a man’s attention there, to say, “hey don’t look at my breasts, my eyes are up here.”
But with women who purchase their breasts, it’s now:
“Don’t look here” — motioning to her eyes. “Look here”— motioning to her breasts.
I know that many women like to insist they “did it for themselves” but the women who ultimately put their ‘boobs” out there in the most obvious “please look at me” ways, are those who have bought and paid for them.
My point is, that buying new titties at the titty store, isn’t true reclamation.
It’s an imitation of it.
What I’ve seen over the years in my work is that both women who grow up with small breasts, feel the need to hide them, or they feel like they don’t really own them.
And…. women with large breasts feel the same way.
They wear baggy clothes, they hunch their shoulders.
They don’t want excessive attention on their chests.
Neither of them is fully owning and inhabiting their breasts.
In the same way that there is a concerted effort to block people from the true power of their sexual energy, I believe that extends to the breasts.
Whether we say that’s something deliberate, or just an offshoot of the same overall sexual suppression we see in the world, the results are the same:
People have all this power and energy portals at their actual fingertips and instead of using it, they disown and deflect it.
So much so that in many cases, women are dissociated and “cut off” from this power and these areas of their bodies to the degree that they have their breasts and other reproductive organs—cut OFF of them.
Or, they voluntarily cut into the tissue to augment it.
In the Taoist sexual philosophy, they look at the breasts as the windows of female orgasm.
Six energy meridians run through the breasts, including ones responsible for sexual arousal.
The breasts are also seen as expressions of the heart.
I know myself that when I’m feeling open-hearted and raw in the world, my posture straightens, my chest expands and my breasts become portals that receive and give energy.
Most people would be totally cut off from these perceptions of their breasts being alive and another sensory organ.
Until… they begin to reclaim their breasts or, for the first time, establish a loving relationship with them.
Where they go from “boobs—these inanimate objects that are the brunt of many jokes, to “breasts”—sacred, alchemical, life, and love-giving orgasmic portals.
In MRIs, we see the same areas light up in the brain with breast stimulation, as with G-Spot and cervical stimulation.
The orgasmic potential of the breast, which can have nipple-gasms and full breast-gasms, is immense. And. often totally overlooked as a quick pit stop on the way to the promised land of the vagina.
The irony is, if people spent much more time with the breasts, the vagina would be even more responsive.
In both my salons for women: How to Be a Well-Fucked Woman, and Vaginal Kung Fu, I teach breast massage. I walk women through a variety of techniques to reconnect to their breasts, to open and stimulate these energy meridians, and clear stagnation.
And ultimately, to experience their breasts as radiant, luscious and orgasmic pleasure centres that they own and love, whatever their size or shape.
And often, the size and shape of women’s breasts CHANGE after doing regular breast massage and reconnecting to their sexual energy overall.
Women have gained entire cup size, they have lifted gravity-worn breasts and made large breasts firm and supple.
They have balanced out size differences in each of their breasts, making them more symmetrical.
All through love, attention and their own healing hands.
Through OWNING and adoring themselves.
What you focus on grows.
And firms. 🙂
In today’s episode we’re chatting with Well-F**ked All Star Sarah. She’s had amazing experiences with her breasts, watching them transform from buddies, to lovers.
KIM: Welcome, Sarah. I am delighted to have you here.
SARAH: Thanks for having me.
KIM: Let’s hear all about your experiences and transformations with your relationship with your breasts and any physical changes that you had as a result of deepening your connection with your sexual energy.
SARAH: When I think back on my relationship to my breasts before VKF, I was cohabitating with them. It was like they were roommates that I liked, and I thought pretty neutrally of them. I’m small-chested, but I don’t mind. I always thought my breasts were nice enough, but I didn’t think more of them.
Then around eight years ago, I had my daughter and that really transformed my relationship with my breasts to love and appreciation. I breastfed her for over seven and a half years, super-extended breastfeeding. I associated so much love and connection and beauty with my breasts, nourishing my child.
But it was still platonic. And then the introduction to breast massage was mind-blowing to me because the process allowed me to fall in love with my breasts for the first time. To really see them and connect with them in such a simple way.
It’s not a lot. It’s not like you’re teaching us this insane protocol on how to connect with our breasts. It’s really simple, but there are some important pieces. I think the massage oil is really important. It smells incredible. It’s like this perfume for the day that reminds me of this practice that I did. My breasts radiate the smell.
Then there’s the incredible massage and daily practice of connection. I noticed right away that my breasts were almost saying, “Hello!” They perked up instantly within days, because they were totally unused to the attention but wanted it and loved it. They’d been pushed to the side of the room my whole life and then were brought out for this very beautiful but utilitarian practice of breastfeeding. Now it’s more, “No, I just love you for who you are!”
Through that practice, I definitely developed more sensation. I feel my pussy waking up when I’m massaging my breasts, and I feel this incredible connection between my breasts and my vagina through this daily practice of massage.
KIM: That’s beautiful. I love that descriptor of cohabitating because I think the relationship that a lot of people have not only to their breasts, but to their other reproductive organs, is just kind of coexisting in the same space, all in the same body, but they don’t necessarily have a really intimate, connected, and joyful relationship with them.
My personal experience when I’ve done these sorts of practices over the years is that these parts of my body have developed a consciousness and sentience of their own. They’ve become living entities that are taking in information and communicating like they have their own consciousness.
SARAH: Yeah. I’ve noticed, just reflecting on your teachings, that I am definitely gravitating to practices. Like last summer, all I wanted to do was sun my butt. I just wanted my bum in the sun. And I did that a bit. It wasn’t a hugely committed practice, but after you talked about sunning and made that connection, all I want to do is sun my breasts now. It’s become this real commitment. I think you said it’s a nonnegotiable for you.
It feels like through this connection with my breasts, they are telling me they made this, and it’s become a nonnegotiable for me. I’m in Canada, so it’s hit and miss what days I can do it. But when it’s sunny, I am out there, and it is glorious. It’s so relaxing. It feels sort of naughty because you can’t do anything. I can listen to your podcast, right? That’s about all I can do when I’m sunning. I can’t work. I can’t really read because I want to be in a good position.
It’s warming, and I get the sense that I’m being penetrated by the universe. That warmth and energy are fucking me in this amazing way, and I think that’s why it’s nonnegotiable now, because it’s just this blanket of incredible penetration.
KIM: That’s amazing. I love how you describe that, and I have that same experience. It’s this very communion-like relationship. That’s partly why it is nonnegotiable. It just feels so restorative and rejuvenating and blissful.
What would you say has shifted in your sensitivity and pleasure in the breasts through doing this stuff?
SARAH: After breastfeeding for as long as I did, I was pretty averse to touching my nipples, just because they were sucked on for so long. I do have some insecurities about them. Because of the extended breastfeeding, they’re quite pronounced. They’ve been sucked out into points.
But I think the practice of starting on the nipples felt really nourishing, and it allowed me to develop a different sensation there that wasn’t jarring or associated with the sensitivity when my daughter was first born. It’s almost like I carried that sensitivity with me for seven years, and the breast massage has allowed me to have a different sensitivity in my breasts that feels way more pleasurable.
KIM: I think that’s the thing that happens for women who breastfeed. Women can have this conflicted relationship with their breasts as a source of nourishment for their children, and they might feel “touched out.” They’ve been in demand and available in a way that’s more functional.
I think part of that may also have something to do with the consciousness that we think we’re allowed to bring to the act of breastfeeding, allowing it to be blissful and pleasurable and nourishing for us, rather than thinking that we’re workhorses. [Laughs] Not saying that you said that, but I just see that with people who talk about it.
I think part of that is the framing that we put on breastfeeding but also just reclaiming it as pure pleasure. I think that if people thought they had permission to view it as pure pleasure more, people might not walk out of breastfeeding feeling as disconnected or thinking that their breasts need to reclaim that pleasure.
It’s lovely to hear that the breast massage was able to reestablish and reforge that connection. Because I think whether it’s breastfeeding or just the sexual projection that gets placed upon breasts in our culture, it creates this dissociative relationship with women and their breasts. Women who grew up with small breasts or large breasts feel like they have to hide them. They feel like they get all of this attention and are kind of disconnected.
Then you have women who buy breasts, and I think they try to really display them, but often in a not very authentic way. They’ve got kind of a false bravado with something they bought at the shop and are now proudly displaying.
But to come to that place of having a truly organic and genuinely reclaimed, owned, connected relationship with the breasts is an amazing thing, and I think that’s what most people have no idea of until they start working with these kinds of practices, conscious breast massage, daily breast massage, spending lots of time with the breasts, the whole breast and not just the nipple, developing that sense of the breasts as these beautiful, sentient portals and beings and expressions of the heart in the world.
Have you noticed anything about the connection between your breasts and your heart?
SARAH: I have. I also wanted to say that my husband immediately noticed. He said, “Your breasts are perky and shiny and glowing.” He’s always loved them, but it’s really changed how he interacts with them when we have sex because they’re fair game now [laughs], and more than fair game. “Go there. Please touch my breasts. Please kiss my breasts. Please suck my breasts. Love my breasts.”
It feels like the entire journey is so holistic, which is why it feels like such a root cause. I feel like there’s no going back once you start on this journey. We’re changing neural pathways, as you say. That was an aha moment for me. “Oh, yeah, that’s what we’re doing here.” We are changing the rigidity of how our body responds to pleasure and how our body then responds to the world.
I was feeling hesitant about yoni massage and really going deep, and having that daily practice of breast massage warmed me up for a deeper practice with my vagina, which has been hugely transformative as well.
KIM: That’s amazing. Why don’t you speak more to that? Because in the Taoist framework, they talk about the breasts being the windows to female orgasm. Because they have no less than six energy meridians flowing through them, three that are really connected to sexuality and sex reproductive organs and hormones, they really are keys. I think in our culture, there’s a very cursory, “Okay, touch the breasts a little bit,” as part of foreplay, rather than a wholehearted and thorough massage from the self or partner in terms of sexual play and our own body reconnaissance. I’d love to hear more about how your breast massage opened up that door, even to your yoni.
SARAH: I think it was so many things. The breast massage has really helped me love my body more. It’s one of those steps to surrendering. I am still in the process of surrendering. I had to get over some awkward moments with my breasts or feeling some resistance to those old associations I had with feeling touched out, and I had to just work through those. It took practice to push through the resistance that I felt in my yoni, which was on a different level. It felt like there was more trauma there.
Yeah, it was also like proof of concept for me. “You can do this! [Laughs] You can work through this! You got it, girl; you can do it!” And it’s huge to know that progress can be made.
KIM: Yeah. That’s beautiful. I love that proof of concept because for many women, there’s a lot of trauma stored in the vagina and resistance and numbness. By starting with something that’s less internal, less penetrative, working with the breasts, the process of doing that opens and awakens all of those energy meridians. It gets all of this energy flowing and helps to resolve stuckness, and open up those neural pathways. Yes, it primes the vagina to feel more receptive and open. “I am open; this is safe for me to do. Positive things come from me doing this,” and then that is transferred into the vagina.
SARAH: Yes. I also have this deep sense of not only the sexual and energetic healing that comes along with the breast massage but the lymphatic draining. I think on a very deep level, my body is saying, “You need to move these tissues, and this is so good for the long-term health of your whole body,” and it feels very nurturing and nourishing in that way too. That’s a turn-on for my body. It’s good for your health. There’s that feedback too.
KIM: Yeah. Absolutely on a physical level, they’re lymph-clearing houses. We should be doing breast massage regularly and clearing things out.
I think it’s not just physical, but this alchemical, emotional clearing as well, given that the breasts are located at the heart center, and stuck emotion, grief, trauma, and sadness are all things connected to the heart. I think it’s all interwoven, the release and letting go of stuff. It’s the issues in our tissues, one of my favorite Wim Hof phrases; the massage is such a beautiful entryway into excavating these things and letting them go.
SARAH: Yeah, it was transformative. It was just incredible. It took a while to get into, but storing the energy in my breasts really evolved to feeling tingling and turned on and super nourished as I store that energy. It’s enlivening. I think storing the energy in my breasts and in the tummy sparked some crazy creative energy. All of these pieces that I’d been waiting for creatively fell into place. That moved that energy and opened the universe up to align these ideas. It was really exciting.
KIM: I agree. It’s such a powerful practice that I’m so passionate about. Overall, any movement and creative direction of sexual energy unleashes that creative power in our outer lives.
Can you speak more to the kind of creative output that you noticed? You mentioned something about your creativity overall, self-actualization, finances. How would you describe what happened there?
SARAH: Yeah. For a while, I’ve known it’s time to change careers. There’s some misalignment at work. I didn’t know what that looked like. I’m an amateur herbalist. I wanted to really focus on the land more.
I didn’t know quite how it all came together, and I was waiting for it to land. I trust the universe. But with the juiciness of the ovarian breathing and all the sexual practices, it was like shooting stars of creativity came down. I’d be awake in the middle of the night and think, “Yeah, that idea!” And it all just came together in this beautiful little package of what my next step would be.
That’s such a gift, because it’s rarely packaged so nicely; all of the pieces were there in terms of what I needed to do. Financial opportunities came to us.
I just sort of smile because I 100% believe in your work and in the power of manifestation. It felt like I was just blind on the trail and doing this work, and understanding that opened the portal to alignment with the universe through my vagina. It feels so incredible. It’s like there’s light on the dark path.
Not to say my world is perfect, whatever that means. I’ve had a life that’s been pretty aligned, lots of synchronicity, lots of beautiful gifts from the universe. They kind of just fell out of the blue. But now there’s this mechanism for really harnessing that power and alignment.
The alignment that I felt in taking VKF and connecting with my breasts and connecting with my yoni was just next level. For example, my skin is as smooth as I’ve ever felt it in my life. I suffered from acne as a teenager and just did not love my skin. It was like a switch went off as soon as I started doing this work.
I do feel like it’s the work; it’s clearing energy; it’s massaging breasts, balancing my hormones. It’s having fabulous sex. The alignment just allows me to make better choices. It allows me to pick up on little snippets from the universe. “Maybe I’ll try that supplement.” I’m not super into supplements, but a few diet changes, very subtle, have just popped into my consciousness that I feel are very healing for my body. That type of subtle alignment has been huge since the course, which is very exciting to me. That’s what it’s all about; just taking the signs when you get them and integrating them.
KIM: I love all of that. You articulated it very beautifully, and ultimately, what you’re describing is self-realization, coming into alignment with our true selves and the deeper expression and truth of who we are.
SARAH: Yeah. I just want to share this with you in terms of trauma, because it’s one of the most profound experiences I’ve had with this journey. For years I’ve worked with therapists, and the mantra that they’ve given me is, “It’s safe to be calm.” There’s a fight or flight response that my physiology goes to.
And the mantra never really settled into my body. I could say the words. I could intellectually know that what I wanted was calm, but I could never feel it.
When I have vaginal orgasms and cervical orgasms, it is like calm showers through my body. I realize, “Well, this is calm. It is safe to be calm.” My body gets this huge download of what that means and almost drips the trauma away. It’s fascinating, and I feel that when I’m swirling energy in my breasts. It’s like this blanket of calm that is healing so much trauma without even really knowing the source. It’s just this incredible release.
It was really unexpected that it would link to that mantra for me. But I guess it’s probably not unexpected to you. [Laughs]
KIM: [Laughs] Well, if we think of sexual energy as our life-force energy, that really is the key to everything. That’s the point I try to make to people. That’s the core of my work—the current that runs through everything. When we start to have that proven to us, yeah, it can be totally mind- and body-blowing. Especially because pretty much all of the messaging that we get out in the world creates that separation. Sex is compartmentalized.
The general tenor is to put sex into a box and close it up and tuck it into a corner, rather than open it up like a giant Pandora’s Box, which is mostly full of beautiful, amazing, creative things, and unleash it into the world. Let it do its thing.
SARAH: Yeah. There was a moment on one of the calls where someone was describing the sensation she had in her body. And you said, “It sounds like you’re having a vaginal orgasm.” It was like this aha to me because I think I realized I’d been having vaginal orgasms, and I didn’t even know it because we box up this idea of orgasm and sex, and we don’t talk about it, and we have all of these assumptions around what it is. It’s probably based on clitoral orgasms. You know, we think it’s going to feel that way.
I think I heard you say hours after you told a client she could have a cervical orgasm, she went and had one. Just the thought that, “Whoa, I’ve been having vaginal orgasms,” opened my body and opened my box and my mind to surrender. “Oh, this is the feeling that I need to move toward and surrender to.”
KIM: Wonderful. Is there anything else that you’d like to share in terms of the changes that you saw that you relate back to this opening of sexual, creative life force in your world?
SARAH: I think I’ve touched on physical health, mental health, creativity, finances, self-actualization. Interestingly, Kim, my daughter self-weaned during VKF (same, leave in I think??). It’s not that I didn’t want her to breastfeed before that, but I don’t think it’s a coincidence. I think she understood that I was going through this transformation, this self-reclamation, and respected that. She’s old enough, right? She understands that, and I talked to her. I said, “You know, I think it’s time for Mom to reclaim her breasts. We’ll talk about what that looks like in terms of our breastfeeding.” And then she just stopped. There was a lot of synchronicity in that for me, and I don’t believe there are coincidences. It’s alignment. But it was fascinating. It was this time for me to enter into my own relationship with my breasts that was separate from my relationship as a mother.
Amazingly, she still adores my breasts and my body. When I’m doing a breast massage, if she happens to be around, she’s transfixed and mesmerized by the act of loving these things that she adores. It’s beautiful.
KIM: Wow. That is amazing. I’ve seen that countless times with women, especially when they extended breastfed, because their children are older, and so you can actually see the relationship they have with the breasts as entities, as best friends, as sources of comfort and love and nourishment. It’s beautiful to hear that.
SARAH: Yeah. And for her not just to see them as nourishment but as beauty. I think she’s also helped me see them as beautiful, because seeing her look at my breasts, I realize, “Wow, this is incredible.” Just totally in love. I need to look at my breasts like that. [Laughs]
KIM: Oh, that’s fantastic. Incredible. Well, that’s it. That’s what this whole topic is about, reclaiming that pure love and beauty relationship and eroticism with the breasts that has had this veneer of something else put on top of it, which is really the distinguishing thing between boobs and breasts, and the real life-giving, life-affirming potential that we have when we connect with them.
SARAH: Yeah. They’re beautiful, beautiful portals.
KIM: Awesome. Thank you so much for sharing your journey with us. We really appreciate it. You can be an inspiration to many in this reclamation journey.
SARAH: Thanks so much, Kim. It was a pleasure speaking to you.
In the Well-F**ked Woman Salon, you’ll learn a full breast massage routine, with step-by-step strokes, as well as have guided visualizations to enliven and connect with the breasts. Plus, how to have vaginal orgasms: G-Spot, cervical and more.
Check out the free preview videos series with techniques to have full-body orgasms.
You can find our Breast Bliss Massage oil Sarah was referring to in the Anami Alchemia online shop. This oil is full of rejuvenating herbs and essentials oils to firm, tone and open the heart.
I love this oil so much that I use it as breast oil, face oil, and perfume!