PODCAST TRANSCRIPT:
So what is Big Tit Energy?
You’ve likely heard of Big Dick Energy.
BDE for short.
When a man gives off an aura of confidence, power, masculinity, a take charge attitude, it’s very magnetic and alluring.
He might *literally* have a huge dick…or he might not!
BDE is more of an attitude, not necessarily a size.
Let’s talk about: Big Tit Energy. or BTE.
The equivalent of BDE.
This is when a woman radiates sexual power, a give-no-fucks attitude, when she’s confident, unapologetic, in your face, full of joy and passion and vitality.
Her life force is pouring forth, gushing with creativity, not concerned with pleasing other people, not concerned with being “polite.”
She’s sensual and sexy and has charisma and radiance that is felt by those around her.
And even from those across the room, parking lot or street.
This is BTE.
Without ever even seeing her tits!
It’s also the expression of being a well-fucked woman.
Someone who has such deep, unshakeable self-confidence and self-love that it supersedes her appearance.
It’s a tangible energy that reaches out and makes itself known before you even see her physique.
One of the areas we focus on in my work and salons with women is reconnecting to and falling back in love WITH all of their body parts.
When women’s bodies become projector screens for other people, they often dissociate from them.
This could be anything: stomach, thighs, butt, vulva.
And of course.
Their breasts.
Some women make it through life loving their breasts.
But not many do.
There is so much stuff projected on breasts, that they become more of a publicly owned commodity, a sales prop and titillation device, that women rarely ever feel a sense of empowerment from their breasts.
Or like they really own them.
That’s why it feels so easy to cut them up, and to dissociate from them to the point that they are so “cut off” from them that they literally get cut off in surgeries.
Some women go through life feeling inadequate because they’re too small.
Or they feel shy and reserved because they are naturally large and attract a lot of attention.
Which puts you in the category of “asking for it” and then you better hide all that voluptuousness.
So they hunch over, and disown the breasts and their magical powers.
It’s a hard battle to win.
You can have A-cup breasts and still have that Big Tit Energy.
In Taoist sexual thinking, the breasts are an extension of the heart.
When the heart is open and free-flowing, when you are living an existence that is trusting in the world, your chest swells with radiance.
You bloom.
Your guard is down.
Your energy is light, magnetic, attractive because you are open.
Openness is incredibly attractive.
You don’t even need to flirt when you are open.
Meaning, you don’t’ have to try HARD to be sexy and witty.
You are just being and basking in yourself and THAT is the most attractive thing.
I know this might sound like tired self-love stuff you hear all over the place.
But I’m talking about a tangible quality of wholeness, of acceptance of self, which translates into an acceptance of others.
You’re openness to life and the world is a delicious, seductive thing.
Totally magnetic.
Everyone wants to be with you and near you and listen to you and do whatever you say!
******
So how do you get your breasts back?
How do you cultivate BTE from within?
You don’t need to buy it—or them—you can make it—and them—yourself.
1) Reconnect to your breasts.
Take them back. Own what you’ve got. And you can even grow what you’ve got.
Naturally.
One of the best ways to do this is through self-breast massage.
Spending time every day, even just five minutes a day, massaging your breasts.
Most breasts spend their days bound up in suffocating contraption—again for the purpose of others, to either seemingly make them “look perkier” or to stop people from salivating at the sigh of a nipple.
Free them.
Go braless more often.
Bras are the burqas of the breasts.
And massage your breasts.
I have a great FREE breast massage video on YouTube you can check out.
In my salons, I teach a daily comprehensive routine breast massage routine for women.
I show them how to release tension, open up lymph flow and activate the breasts and their BTE.
I teach this in both Vaginal Kung Fu and Well-Fucked Woman salons.
2) Fire up your sexual energy.
What I see over and over again in my work and salons, is whenever women have a disconnect with their breasts:
They are too big, too small, not perky enough.
And then we fire up their sexual energy.
WE get that energy flowing through their body so that they begin to wear and radiate it.
That energy shows up in every part of them.
Their face, their aura.
And even their breasts.
I’ve had women’s breasts grow.
They get larger, fuller
They get firmer and and more lifted.
Yep.
Because they are now filled with sexual energy.
And also because they now OWN all parts of themselves, including their breasts.
Part of this is loving and accepting them.
And the other part, is daring to truly “wear” them in the world. and not feel like they are a body part that belongs to someone else and for the satisfaction of someone else.
Or that their worth—and yours—is contingent upon someone else’s opinion of them.
Like I said, I’ve seen women grow breasts, lift breasts and fall madly in love with their breasts.
The breasts are the great alchemical metabolizer — not just physically, but energetically.
When you are in tune with them, when you love and own them, whatever you’ve got, you unleash their power.
Which is to help you process the information and experiences of your life, and turn it into gold.
Just like with the physical production of breast milk.
The most potent substance a human can eat.
This is the true power and energetic purpose of your breasts.
3) Look at them as a place to spend LOTS of time sexually, not just a quick nipple tweak on the way to the promised land of the vagina.
Breasts are often thought, or not even breasts, but nipples as a brief layover before racing off down south.
You can unleash the orgasmic potential of the breasts by spending extended periods of times with them.
There are several energy meridians running through the breasts. — six in fact, and three of them are directly connected to the flow of sexual energy, including the kidney meridian.
In Taoist thought, the breasts are thought of as the initiators of sexual arousal.
As I said, they are also connected to the heart.
So deep massage and loving touch, coupled with sexual energy opens up theres energy meridians so CHI can flow much more easily through the breasts, reproductive organs and the whole body.
The breasts are like alchemical cauldrons, building up this energy, mixing the love of the heart with the more raw sexual energy and then spreading it throughout the entire body.
You can have nipple-gasms, and it’s even been shown the the nipples are connected to the clitoris and the vagina.
Plus, did you know that sexual activity grows breasts by 25%???
***
For the love of little tits.
Check out Sam Blacky’s profile on Instagram.
Her tagline used to be: Big tits, little eyebrows.
When actually, it’s the opposite.
She two itty bitty little nipples on her chest, virtually no breast tissue and she has big, bushy eyebrows.
She’s a DJ and a model and she does a TON of swimsuit campaigns.
Despite working in a sea of fake tittles—I’d say 98% of swimsuit models have implants—she’s all about rocking what she’s got.
She has seriously BTE and some of the smallest, non-existent breasts you’ve ever not seen.
She’s wears lots of see-through tops, goes topless a lot and she’s just super out there with what she’s got.
IT’s such a refreshing change in a sea of augmented breasts.
She’s @samblacky on Instagram.
This isn’t an endorsement for her lifestyle or business or anything.
I’m just endorsing her tits. So check them out!
Speaking of which, let’s get to this week’s:
**WELL-FUCKED ALL STAR ***
Today we’re talking to Natasha, who is a graduate of my salons:
KIM: Welcome, Natasha!
NATASHA: Thank you, Kim!
KIM: I would love for you to share your experiences with doing breast massage, reconnecting to your sexual energy, and the effect that that had on your breasts and then the rest of your life.
NATASHA: I am so thankful to have been brought back to the attention of my breasts because early in my life, I had large breasts and it was awkward for me. I would hide and cover my breasts so much that I got a tan line on my arm from holding my arms across my chest and hiding all summer long. I was definitely not occupying my breasts.
It’s so sad, thinking back about how long I spent that way. Reconnecting through the breast massage and occupying that space is so fantastic.
KIM: It’s interesting what you say—often people think it’s women who have small breasts who have a hard time really occupying and inhabiting their breasts, but it’s also women with larger breasts who are gathering too much attention and don’t feel like they can fully stand erect and allow their breasts to just exist because of all the potential messages that they’re sending out.
In that way, women on that side of the scale or spectrum also have similar issues of not being able to occupy and really own their breasts.
NATASHA: Right. The grass is always greener. Everyone thinks that they want large breasts, but really, we just need to own what we have and occupy that space.
KIM: Yeah. How did that shift for you?
NATASHA: I stopped hiding and being scared and I felt so much more joy in general in life.
KIM: And what was that a result of?
NATASHA: Doing the breast massage and connecting and really owning that heart space. I came to work after having a child and my son was four and I still had saggy boobs. I thought I was stuck. Everybody I knew that was a mother had saggy boobs and I didn’t want that for myself. I was so scared that that’s what I was going to be stuck with. And I’m not stuck with that. [Laughs]
I started the daily breast massage in the shower or anytime I was changing my clothes, just doing a few minutes of caring for myself and massaging my breasts. Within, I think it was a month, I noticed the skin firming up. It wasn’t that thin, floppy, fold-in-half boob that I had previously.
Slowly, over time, my breasts began to fill back out. Post-nursing, I think I had dropped two cup sizes from prior to pregnancy. This brought me back to where I was and in a much happier space about my breasts. I still have that happiness about my breasts and I’m not covering and hiding them.
KIM: Right. I think that there’s this whole movement right now to really accept exactly where your body is. Some people might say, why didn’t you just accept your saggy boobs? But I feel like the sagginess, especially with women who breastfed and had children, is symptomatic, usually of depletion. This sense and this energy of giving out so much that it literally shows up as a depleted breast. This saggy, lifeless kind of breast.
Once you start to reconnect to that heart space and you start recirculating the sexual energy, the breasts start to fill up. Then that joy is, “Okay, I’ve retained this sort of shape now,” but also that you’re reconnecting to a body part that you’d started to disassociate from, and that disassociation was reflected in the sag or shrinkage of the breast.
NATASHA: Absolutely. I’ve noticed in other areas where I’m starting to pay more attention to myself and to my body, I’m really getting that healing and restoration.
KIM: There’s this whole movement out there now, “Oh, we want to put out pictures of women with tons of cellulite and sag and who are 300 pounds overweight,” as though that’s this really positive thing. I don’t really buy that, so I just felt like I wanted to say something about that because people might jump onto that when they hear that kind of language.
NATASHA: Yeah. I agree that you should accept yourself and connect to yourself when you’re in that space because disconnecting from yourself isn’t going to help you. But it doesn’t mean that you have to stay in that condition. You don’t have to stay in the lifeless, disconnected space that you’re in. But owning it and realizing that’s where you are is a good start. Also, realizing that that’s not who you want to be anymore and taking the steps to change is fantastic. Take this step.
KIM: Yeah. As you began to reclaim your breasts, did you notice that you were different out in the world? Did you dress differently, did you present differently, were your shoulders arched back in your chest? How did you show up?
NATASHA: I had so much more confidence and willingness to take risks that I hadn’t been willing to take before, things that I had wanted to do but was scared to do. One thing that I had really wanted to do for years was take a belly-dancing class. I did and I involved myself so heavily with it. I loved it and had so much joy. My shoulders were up and back and my chest was forward. It was so complimentary to do the belly dancing with your work, or work so much with core and pelvic floor strength, so they were super comforting to me. [Laughs]
I’m looking people in the eye when I pass someone by. I’m not shying away. I just have so much more confidence and it doesn’t matter what I used to think a person would have thought of me. I’m not doing that math in my head. “What is this person thinking of me?” Because it’s just me and it doesn’t matter.
KIM: And this is all connected to your chest?
NATASHA: Yeah, I really think it is.
KIM: Having large breasts?
NATASHA: Oh yeah. There’s so much hiding and so much shame with that. The hunching and the covering and the big, baggy clothes that I would wear to kind of hide it.
KIM: What was your perception of what you were being judged for? What was the replay in your head about why you should cover up and why it was awkward for you?
NATASHA: My best summation would be that if I had presented myself in a more polite and free way or even dressed pretty, even if it wasn’t scandalous, someone would find me a whore, basically. And so much of my youth had put on me that you don’t want to be that, and you don’t want people to perceive it that way even if it’s not true.
KIM: And just by having large breasts, you would be really accentuating that idea.
NATASHA: Yeah! [Laughs]
KIM: Yeah, here I am. I’m a slut. I’m sexually available or just sexually out there, just by whatever. Not even having a skimpy, low-cut dress. You’d just say, “Whatever, not hiding them.” [Laughs] And that in itself would be a message.
NATASHA: Right. I’m noticing more as an adult, I see it with my mother, who hides in a very similar way, that she’s just afraid to be seen as a woman. Our femininity is being kind of squished a little bit and we’re taking on a lot of masculinity, as though to be powerful, we need to look masculine and hide that feminine part of ourselves. That is so feminine, the breast.
I think I was kind of hiding that feminine and even when I was younger, when I was coming into having breasts, I would dress like a boy.
Just so much more masculine, with short hair. Now I have long, wavy hair and I wear dresses and show some cleavage sometimes. It’s so much more free and joyful than this scared hiding.
KIM: Well, absolutely, yeah. You just get to be yourself.
NATASHA: Right.
KIM: That’s what I find so crazy, is how much of other people’s ideas and thoughts are projected upon women’s breasts, to the point that they don’t even really have the opportunity to just enjoy and own their own breasts.
NATASHA: It’s not only the projection. We take that on. We can choose to not take that on and to not pass that on to the women around us and to our daughters and nieces. We can free our mothers from this space and burden that we’ve taken on.
KIM: One of the things that you’ve probably heard me talk about is the journey to becoming a Well-F**ked Woman. To define that, I mean a woman who’s in touch with and confident in and inhabits her sexual energy to the point where she begins to wear it. She begins to radiate this energy of magnetism and beauty and vitality that’s coming from the inside.
I often say that one of the hallmarks when a woman knows that she’s really reached that threshold into well-fuckedness is that she starts to not give a shit what people think about her. She wears what she wants, she looks how she wants, puts on the kind of clothes that she wants, makes the decisions that she wants, and she doesn’t care. Her filter is no longer, “What do other people think? What is anyone going to think about what I’m doing?” It doesn’t even cross her fucking mind. She’s just staying true to herself; that’s her guiding compass. I feel like one of the benefits that happens when someone is in charge of their sexual energy is that how they show up in the world is completely driven from the inside, rather than any kind of outer judgment or concern or impact of what anybody else might think.
NATASHA: I’m well on my way there. I can’t say that I’ve fully arrived at “I don’t give a shit about what anybody thinks about me.”
KIM: [Laughs] At least your breasts are a good distance there.
NATASHA: Exactly. It’s a journey and I feel more decisive. I’m willing to speak up for what I want and make the change in my wardrobe. I’m clunky. I start and stop and hesitate on decisions, but I’m headed that way and I’m not scared of the path that I’m on.
KIM: Fantastic. You also spoke about developing more awareness of your vagina and how your menstrual cycles were shifting through owning more of your sexual energy. That was another area where you noticed a shift.
NATASHA: Oh yeah. The awareness to my vagina is so great. Just like my breasts, it wasn’t something I paid attention to. There just wasn’t even a thought of paying attention to it until I found your work and through the yoni, the jade egg work, and the microcosmic orbit and all of the meditations that we’ve done, to be aware of my vagina was mind-blowing. And to just be aware of that while I’m driving down the road or while I’m having a conversation or doing my own work. It got to the point where I was so lubricated, Kim, I had to change my underwear two or three times a day. Just, what is going on? I just was not used to this attention and this lubrication.
KIM: That’s amazing. Yeah.
NATASHA: Even after having a baby, I still have wonderful lubrication and I’m so blessed and so thankful for that. As far as my menstruation, just like my breasts, it’s been something that I hide and don’t let anybody know about. It’s just, ew, this weird girl-thing that we hide. [Laughs] To be connected with my vagina while that’s going on is just calm and it’s hard to explain how beautiful feels. It’s so feminine to have a menstrual cycle and be orgasmic through that. To feel that pleasure throughout the day and not be grossed out and trying to hide it.
KIM: That’s beautiful and I love this overall theme. You mentioned the word hiding several times, connected to the breasts and the menstrual cycle. And as you’ve owned and really occupied this energy, that falls away and you start to embrace these things as part of being a woman, the beauty of being feminine and just owning beauty in general. To me, that’s part of the archetype of the feminine, really embracing the notion, the embodiment of beauty, and wearing that as part of your day-to-day life. And it sounds like you’re doing that more and more.
NATASHA: It’s this weird fear of being beautiful.
KIM: Yeah, what is that?
NATASHA: I know I feel it and I’ve spoken with other women about it and we’re afraid to be beautiful and to accept that we are actually beautiful and to believe that about ourselves … I’m working on it. I’m working on it. [Laughs]
KIM: I was talking about this in the podcast. Women go and buy some fake breasts and then they really shove them in your face and try to get your attention. I don’t really call that confidence, it’s more like desperation, but it’s almost like with the addition of the Franken-tits, they somehow think they feel beautiful now. They’ve managed to buy some beauty.
NATASHA: My perception of that is they’re trying to convince you to convince them that they’re worthy or that they are beautiful because they don’t believe it themselves; otherwise, they wouldn’t have augmented themselves. If they believed that they were already beautiful, they wouldn’t have gone through that and they wouldn’t be trying to convince someone else that they’re beautiful. I think it’s so in your face because they want that feedback and they want you to believe it so much because they don’t believe it themselves.
KIM: That’s a really good way to put it because when you’re shoving them in a person’s face that much, it’s not for you. [Laughs] They’re not doing it for themselves; they’re doing it so that somebody else notices and as you say, gives them validation.
NATASHA: Exactly.
KIM: I always say that beauty is earned. True beauty.
Anyone can buy a nose and buy tits and buy a new face. Everyone’s got the same face these days on Instagram. [Laughs] But you can’t buy the feeling of feeling beautiful from the inside; you have to earn it. And to me, you earn it through going demon hunting and excavating your wounds and your traumas and your baggage. I think a big part of it is owning your sexual self, because it’s such a shunted, shamed, taboo part of our selves and such an integral, important part. When you own that and work through your own inner stuff, you pull that all together and to me, that manifests as pure beauty.
You can see in people’s faces when they have a clear energy and aura about them; they love themselves and that radiates. That’s palpable. I hear stories all the time from women who have done this work with me and they just get male attention coming at them all over the place. People run across the street to pick them up and ask them out on dates, at the gas station filling up their car. Obviously, not in glam mode, wearing sweats and a T-shirt [laughs], you know. A couple of guys try to pick them up right then and there. I hear that all the time. It’s because they’re bringing out that beauty from within. It’s not because they have these giant Franken-tits spilling out of their little tube top. No, they aren’t wearing anything that’s the least bit conventionally sexy or provocative except for their own beauty and sexual energy.
NATASHA: That’s something I haven’t really considered before. So many of us see the result and we want the result, that beauty, that radiance, that feminine goddess; we want to be that. But we neglect the work that it takes to be that. I see in my work that people want the result that I have. They don’t know the work that I go through to get there. To apply that to femininity and beauty and sexiness—that’s awesome! It’s a task. We still have to work at it. I love that.
KIM: Yeah.
NATASHA: I do. It’s not cheap. It’s effort.
KIM: That’s right. It’s not cheap; it’s effort. That’s a really good way to put it.
All right. Is there anything else you want to add before we wrap up?
NATASHA: I’m sure I’ll think of stuff later, [laughs] but what I really want to say is, if there’s anyone listening who has heard Kim speak in various other podcasts or this one, or who has checked out her website and just had that spark in their chest that they want to do this and then hemmed and hawed because they’re scared and not ready to own it? Do it. Jump in with both feet.
When Kim tells you that you’re going to see these results, she’s not kidding. When Kim says it’s going to help your business, it does. It really does. My family life is better. My relationship with my husband is better. My relationship with my family is better. My relationship with myself is better. My business is better because of this work and taking these classes. You can listen to the podcast, you can find so much of Kim’s work which she puts out there for consumption. But when you take the course and you do the work and you’re regimented like Kim tells you to be, it’s going to work and you’re going to see these results.
KIM: Aw! Thank you so much for sharing that. I wasn’t expecting that. That’s really lovely and I appreciate you giving that boost of encouragement to people who, like you say, might be hemming and hawing and not sure about doing the full commitment into the work. Yeah, it’s all earned, folks.
NATASHA: I see so many women trying to figure out what is feminine and how do you be feminine? Kim is going to help you. This is an honest-to-goodness path to owning your femininity.
KIM: Beautiful. Thank you.
NATASHA: Thank you, Kim.
—
So after listening to all this, consider:
Do you walk around in life hunched over, and hiding your chest, or do you project your breasts—and heart, and openness—out into the world?
Try it for a day. For today. Remind yourself to constantly project your chest out.
How does it feel?
What energy does that bring into your body?
Walk with your shoulders pressed back and erect.
Breathe into your breasts and lead with them out into the world.
Your whole perspective will change.
Lead with your breasts.
**