Chemistry: How Important is It?
Chemistry is everything.
Chemistry is the deeper soul, higher self part of you, responding to what’s right for you in the moment.
It is the unfiltered truth coming of your inner being rising to the surface.
Nudging you toward or away from someone. Or something.
Chemistry is that weak-in-the-kness, churning-in-your-belly, tingle-in-your-groin reaction you get when you interact with someone.
They brighten you up.
The dormant parts of you that you didn’t even know were there begin to come to light.
You become even more of who you are.
It’s exciting and soothing at the same time.
It just feels right.
More than an intellectual reasoning: “He does this and this and we have this in common, so we must be good together,” it’s a clear knowing.
I’ve often heard this from people who describe meeting their “soul mates.”
They just knew.
They didn’t need to compare that person’s way of being in the world with some laundry list of characteristics they had.
They just knew.
And when you know, you know.
A lover used to say to me: Listen to your pussy. It knows.
I have always had impeccable cock/sex radar.
Because I listen for that rumble in my groin and my gut.
What is chemistry, scientifically speaking?
It’s the reaction of two elements, the bonding that takes place on the most minute level to create some kind of reaction. In the transformation, a new compound is formed.
And this, on “chymistry” from chemist Christopher Glaser in 1663: “A scientific art, by which one learns to dissolve bodies, and draw from them the different substances on their composition, and how to unite them again, and exalt them to a higher perfection.”
I love this even more.
Because it implies the cracking open, the vulnerability that we experience in coming together, and then the building of a new foundation so that we get further, higher and stronger than we could individually.
The fluids we exchange sexually further amplify this alchemy.
Your respective lubricating fluids, saliva and ejaculations are all superfoods.
Absorbing these elixirs is healing and energizing.
Fluid exchange at the most obvious level creates new life/babies.
It also strengthens you individually and your bond collectively.
The Taoists believe that we have concentrated yin and yang essence in all of these fluids, nourishing and balancing one another.
And you all know my views on the power of male ejaculate.
Chemistry doesn’t just show up in intimate partnerships.
It is also there (or not) in working relationships.
It’s the feeling you get when conversations excite you. They build.
Together, you make something that you couldn’t make or see on your own.
You better each other.
The creative exchange gets you high.
Friendships are based on chemistry too.
The insights of the other person reflect something back to you that you couldn’t see on your own.
They articulate something that was just out of your reach to describe.
When relationships and conversations drain you or leave you with a “meh” feeling, there is no chemistry and I would wager that it won’t be a fruitful working relationship.
I’ve come to make my business decisions on this criteria too.
Do I feel excited talking to this person/team? Do we see eye-to-eye creatively? Do we have different but complementary things to offer each other?
And most importantly, do they laugh at my wildly irreverent jokes??? (#youknowwhoyouare)
The point in all of this is to say that chemistry is a base ingredient.
It can’t be generated from nothing. You can’t force it to be there.
Carl Jung says:
“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.”
Some substances simply don’t have the potential to react and explosively create with each other.
So don’t waste your time.
From your gut, from your genitals.
The deepest places inside you house truth.
Necklace: Solange Azagury-Partridge