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Feng Shui Your Relationships

A major principle in feng shui, the ancient Chinese art of spatial alignment and arranging, is “out with the old and in with the new.”

We clear away unused and outmoded furniture, projects and ideas. The things that we no longer use take up space; space that could be used for new energy, people and situations that would better serve us.

In the realm of relationships: lovers, family and friends, this means resolving the unresolved. Saying what needs to be said to repair, forgive and move on. Sometimes it means ending relationships.

It has to be done.

In order to make room for more love, more joy and peace, all these invisible interferences have to be cleared up.

Here’s how:

1) With people who have the emotional and communication skills to talk to you, talk. Ask them if you can meet. Face-to-face is always best, where possible.

Express your feelings and make requests for what you want. Work with the other person from your most authentic places to find a mutually agreeable solution or understanding.

This scenario is best. But not everyone has those skills and is comfortable with direct discussion.

2) If you can’t get someone to resolve with you, you have to do it on your own.

Write about what happened and how you feel. Or talk to someone, but with the aim of getting insight, not just venting.

Look at your part. Where are you responsible? How did you create this?

As soon as you bring responsibility back to you, you’ve gained your power back. So long as you are stuck blaming other people, you have no power.

Glean what you could do differently and take that with you. Let go of the other person’s actions.

3) Even in situations where you clearly were “wronged,” was there a belief you had that attracted that situation to you? For example, “bad things always happen to me” is a belief that will perpetuate bad things always happening to you!

Again, come back to yourself and see where you can take responsibility for your thoughts and behaviours.

I believe in reincarnation and karma, so sometimes the origin was with me, but it was further back than I can consciously remember! In situations like this, I still look for patterns for where I might have participated. I ask my inner guidance to show me what my role is. And how to learn from it.


Unfinished relationship business takes up just as much space as old boxes, half-finished projects, undone income tax and messy rooms. Take the steps to clear it up.

I’ll go first.

Yesterday I called someone to arrange a “let’s clear this up” meeting that ought to have taken place eight months ago. Just having made the call and set up a date makes me feel lighter.

Do it today!

Think of a conversation or healing that needs to happen. Make the first move to resolve it.

The video made me cry. Hopefully it will make you cry too! 😉

~ Kim

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6 thoughts on “Feng Shui Your Relationships

  1. Beautiful post. I know that sweet sorrow after something hugely emotional has been fully understood, sorted and then laid to rest. I’ll have to make it out there to Black Rock City, just added it to my seemingly never-ending travel list.

  2. Kim,
    Thank you for this post. It inspired me to feng shui my relationships and finally let go of one that had been weighing on me. I just spent over an hour writing a letter to an ex. When I was done I kissed it then burned it in my fireplace. I can’t describe how depleted yet happy I feel.

  3. video def made me cry. I have done a R”ainbow Gathering, “but not a “Running Man.” This was very powerful. thank you for sharing and I really LOVE the SONG! 🙂