My Vagina Heals Everything – Transcript
My vagina heals everything. Over the past month, I’ve done a couple of episodes highlighting the, at best, clumsy, and at worst, damaging way that allopathic medicine does not heal reproductive issues or maybe anything.
My own journey into the realm of self-healing and natural approaches came out of growing up in a household that definitely bought into the mainstream medical narrative. Doctors were demigods, and we guzzled antibiotics and took drugstore chemical potions every time we had a runny nose. If there ever was a health issue we had questions about, I have memories of going to the almighty doctor, telling them about it, and having the very clear sense that they just didn’t have a clue. They didn’t know what this thing was, they didn’t know where it came from, and they certainly had no idea how to heal it.
In my late teens, when I began exploring alternative health and wellness, studying everything from meditation to herbs to homeopathy to transpersonal psychology, I was fascinated and empowered by the idea that I could heal myself.
I learned that pretty much all pharmaceutical “medicine” comes from plants anyway and is based on their chemical composition. By creating a synthetic, pharmaceutical equivalent that could be patented, since plants cannot be, that’s how these companies make money.
But the problem with synthetic drugs is all the side effects that come with them that plants do not have. I very eagerly studied and learned how to make herbal and homeopathic first aid kits, and that became the medicine cabinet that exists in my life and family to this day. I don’t even have things like Tylenol in the house.
Then I discovered sexual medicine. In my late teens, I fell in love for the first time and experienced epic, transformational, alchemical sex with my partner. Anami sex. The sex that changes your life. In fact, this was the actual sex that sparked the path I’m on now and the reason we’re all here on this podcast and in Anami Land today.
At the time, I had addiction issues. Our sex and love life healed them. He had addiction issues. Our sex and love life healed them.
After we went away for my very first-ever sex weekend, holed up in my family’s summer cabin for three days in the winter, this involved sex all day and all night, with intervals of deep, intimate talking and the occasional food healing session.
When I came back to the city on Monday, I felt reborn. I remember going back to work at the job that I had, and men were flocking to me like moths to a flame. They were finding excuses to talk to me, to just linger and be near my well-f**ked aura. I was flowy and light and graceful and filled with so much beauty and well-**cked adoration for me, for him, for life.
I realized that this energy was the Rosetta Stone. It trumped everything else. Out of that energy, our lives and selves changed wildly. I still use herbal and homeopathic medicine, but I’m an even bigger proponent of sexual medicine for its all-around curative, restorative, and alchemical power to change, uplevel, and rebirth.
One of the main messages I aim to convey in my work is that you have the power to heal yourself. Your vagina, your cock, your procreative, sexual energy, and your orgasms are the key to shaping your world, including your emotional and physical body and self.
Most people are so dissociated from this energy that they never get to this place. They have no idea that their sexual power can do this. Instead, this energy inverts on them to where they become victims of it or are terrified of its power, and so they distance themselves from it.
In Anami Land, we are all about consciously using this energy to grow and heal and create our lives. The Well-F**ked All Stars that I’ve interviewed over the years are here to show you just how they’ve taken this idea and applied it. Not only do they heal their reproductive issues—everything from PMS to ovarian cysts in women, erectile dysfunction in men, and weight loss in both sexes—but they find that they can work through much deeper psychological and spiritual themes, ranging from sexual abuse to depression.
Your sexual energy and sexual self become the way and the truth. And ironically, they are the things most hidden, deliberately shielded by a symbolic fig leaf that you aren’t meant to peek behind in Christian mythology and so many other manufactured religious and social taboos. This is exactly where you will find your most power.
In today’s episode, we are speaking with Jenna. She is an alumnus of my Vaginal Kung Fu Salon and has had some epic experiences with her psychedelic, oracle vagina, which has been the pathway for her most profound healing insights, transformation, and, of course, life-changing orgasms.
***My Vagina Heals Everything All-Star Interview***
KIM: Hello, Jenna!
JENNA: Hello, Kim!
KIM: It’s great to have you.
JENNA: The pleasure is all mine.
KIM: Well, let’s get into it. You have so many epic stories of healing taking place via your yoni. Tell us about your journey, where you started, and some of the epic transformations you’ve had along the way.
JENNA: I’m just so thrilled to be here. Thank you for taking the time to hear my story. I do want to start with communicating the beauty that has unfolded and the amount of importance that I think this work is.
This was beyond the most incredible experience I have ever had, and although it was a roller coaster ride for sure, I am the woman I’ve always envisioned myself being in the most beautiful, beautiful way, and I know that in Anami Land, there’s always another level. And I never expected to understand another level. I always felt like this was it, and perhaps this was the pinnacle.
I’m really blessed in the fact that I didn’t really have any serious sexual trauma or assault in my life and what I recognize, because I was worried. I feel like I need to have this crazy experience in life to be validated enough to have been here and to have the work that I’ve put in appreciated and seen.
But I just want to vouch for a lot of the women that are out there, really unsure; there are so many minute details happening in society about what it is to be a woman. My story, I think, really speaks to that.
When I started growing into a woman, I was never really supported. I was terrified when puberty began. I was a little earlier to develop, and I just remember completely attacking my body and wondering, “How could this happen to me? Why is this happening to me? My life is over.” Yeah.
KIM: [Laughs] This is just experiencing some puberty signs, like breasts developing, body changing.
JENNA: Yeah.
KIM: And a sense that you are transforming from child into woman and then having some wall that you’re hitting, perhaps even anxiety or fear, because of whatever modeling you’ve had through society—or not had—through your mother or family or surrounding women role models, so you’re having this really strong aversion and concern about this new stage of your life.
JENNA: Yeah. It was complete resistance. I would actually pluck my pubic hair as a way to prevent myself from stepping into what I knew was coming, which was my menarche, the first day that you start your period. Growing up, I had a floor-to-ceiling mirror in my closet, and I spent a lot of time in that closet growing and being scared and looking at myself and talking to myself. I remember I had this day of negotiation for the first day that I had to convince myself that it was time to wear a sports bra.
So we’re talking a deep level of shame and resistance and hatred toward opening and blossoming into becoming a woman, which today, I obviously think is one of the most beautiful, epic [laughs] beings on this earth.
KIM: I just want to say that I think that you’re right in terms of your teenage self, or prepubescent self, recognizing that there is this now very complex web of dichotomies and challenges in the realm of being a woman, which most women struggle with and have never really resolved. They perceive that as young people and are concerned about stepping forward.
Very few places on the planet anymore have any ritual embarking on or welcoming or even acknowledging that we’re entering into this new realm. Not any level of support or education for that.
JENNA: Yeah. Role models, education; it’s all just drenched in inconvenience and embarrassment.
KIM: Fear.
JENNA: Fear, slut-shaming.
KIM: Rape.
JENNA: Yeah! Yeah.
KIM: “You asked for it; you wore a mini-skirt.” You got raped. “You had it coming.” Yeah.
JENNA: Yeah. The level of resentment that I started to build against men. Here I was, literally stuffing everything that was coming at me in a closet, at least trying to, behind a big, heavy door. You can’t really stop it, but I resented men. So was I just trying to be a man essentially?
Not having the impact of a role model to guide me and support me in celebration of growing and changing, which is so incredibly beautiful because you’re on the precipice of accessing so much wisdom and so much intuition and so much understanding of the dynamics of life and the dynamics of our spiritual body and what we can invite into our life.
Yeah, so eventually when I ended up starting my period, I hid it from my family for as long as I could. Close to a year where I did not tell anybody. I didn’t want anybody to know, and it was just this really rotten experience of thinking my life is essentially over [laughs], right? And so there are a lot of different things that happened along the way, as I became a teenager and, of course, started talking to my friends about it.
I was actually thinking about this woman I had a conversation with about a year ago. I was living in North Carolina until recently, and she told me that when she started her period, she didn’t even tell her mom. She ended up having to get a job, and she would pretend she was going to go to the movies with friends, just so her mom could drop her off at the movie theater, so she could walk to the grocery store next door to get tampons and pads. That’s how disconnected, and that’s the basis of what is so sad. “Here I am, terrified, looking at my fears,” and now I’m having multi-orgasm cervical orgasms. It’s this crazy, crazy experience.
I had chronic asthma and lived pretty much on an inhaler at night. In 2019, I had a couple of experiences with a terrible asthma doctor, and I walked out and said, “You know what? F**k this. I’m going to heal this on my own.” And I did. In 2020, I ended up going down a really big healing journey, and I worked with a beautiful Chinese medicine doctor named Ron. It was the first time I had anyone put their hand on my shoulder and look at me and tell me, “Nothing is wrong with you, and you are going to be able to breathe again. We’re going to get to the bottom of all this sadness.” They’re about the energy, the lungs.
KIM: Grief, lungs, yeah.
JENNA: The lungs, exactly. So if I could think back, all that grief that I was experiencing coming into womanhood, it was almost like this energy that I was bringing with me. I was trying to stay small, so I was suffocating that deep, feminine goddess that I know was there, but I had yet to really meet her.
Part of my healing journey was obviously a clean diet, which no doctor ever said anything about, which was absolute crap. What is the emotional dander? What’s going on, and how is this preventing you from being able to essentially breathe and accept your body?
One day, I don’t really know what happened. I was on birth control for about 11 years. I was about to pop the pill out of the foil bullshit, and I looked down and said, “Why am I doing this?” I didn’t know much about it being a carcinogen. I didn’t know about the hormone disruption and—
KIM: They don’t tell you that part.
JENNA: No.
KIM: Given that it’s a group 1 carcinogen, I don’t understand how doctors still prescribe it. It’s like doctors prescribing cigarettes, which they used to do. They used to recommend cigarettes back in the day, and now they still recommend the pill, except that the information about it being a carcinogen has been widely known for decades. It’s bizarre. I don’t know how.
JENNA: It’s nowhere. Nowhere to be seen. Almost like when you go to Europe and you buy cigarettes, like, “Death!” [Laughs] They’ll have someone with a hole in their throat, showing some depiction of what can happen if you pick up cigarettes. So there’s nothing, really.
KIM: To be clear, it’s a group 1 carcinogen, according to the WHO. It’s not just some internet rumor. The WHO has classified it like that for at least a couple of decades. Then I guess if you were ever to read the insert in the prescription pill, I’m sure a lot of this information would be in there. But it’s very much out there and in alignment with allopathic deity-type sources.
JENNA: Yeah, yeah. So why am I taking this? I don’t want to take it anymore. I started to notice my body shift and change. My dreams got really vivid and, yeah, it was like there was this deep intuition starting to come through.
As part of my journal routine in the morning, I had these four questions, and all of a sudden, I thought, “Okay, I’ve never wanted to have children. Why? Why have I not looked into why I’ve never been interested in kids? Why do I hate my period? Why do I still hide my tampons from my husband? Why do I feel this absolute dread?”
How many hours of my life had I spent in misery because of this? And I started talking to my healer, when I had another confidant, and they both said, “Have you ever started to yoni gaze? Have you ever looked at your yoni? What is your experience with really starting to see and accept this part of yourself?” And I said, “Oh, there’s absolutely no way I can do that. That just sounds too scary.”
But this woman started to appear in my consciousness, and she looked like this Grecian goddess, and she was bleeding all down her legs. She had an open chest, and she was holding onto a baby, and she was unapologetic and owning everything that she was and that she offered to the world and her ability to create, which was just so beautiful. I can still see her now as I think about her.
I remember thinking, “I have to be her. I want to be that.” She held the picture up high for me of how far I knew I needed to go on this journey.
Long story short, when you’re healing asthma, you have to get rid of all the stuff in the kitchen. You have to get rid of all the laundry detergents, and you have to completely change your lifestyle. I learned how to make all these different potions and laundry detergents and cleaners, and eventually started to want to build a deeper relationship with my sexuality.
Okay. So here I am learning to accept myself, finally yoni gazing, noticing these subtle shifts. I remember I yoni-gazed for about five minutes, and I ended up going to Virginia Beach to visit a friend. I went to this party, and for some reason, I was just attracting every man at the party. I had no idea what was happening, where these guys were coming from, how I was attracting them. I’d never been somebody who men were excited about. I’d just never really attracted men at all. I’d always been the funny girl in the corner, minding my own business.
I said, “There’s something here,” and I started talking to women. “I yoni-gazed for the first time. Have you ever done this? What is your experience with your vagina? Are you giving your body away? What about your period? And how does that feel?” These conversations I started to have opened all these doors and all these experiences that I started to see around me and the head tilts and the “Are you crazy?” Because people would say, “Are you crazy? You’re looking at your vagina?” I’d say, “Yeah, absolutely. I’m looking at my vagina, and it is helping me. I’m slowly starting to be able to breathe again.”
KIM: You said as well that you had an aversion to putting your fingers inside your vagina, right?
JENNA: Oh yeah.
KIM: Was your yoni gazing pre-that? I might be jumping ahead here, but I just want to clarify. At this time, when you were yoni gazing—and this is part of the start of your journey—did you still have this feeling like you couldn’t put anything inside your vagina? Like your fingers?
JENNA: Yeah, yeah. There is something about touching. I could touch my vulva all day and self-pleasure with a vibrator and only get the superficial clitoral orgasms, which was wild to me when I started the program, the salon. “I can’t believe I’ve never given myself a G-spot orgasm. This is absolutely wild that I’ve only gone this far.”
Yeah, thinking about inserting a finger inside of me was just a visceral reaction. It was just not happening, like, “You’re not doing that.” And I think probably that’s why I ended up taking the course, because I needed to be able to finger myself. I needed to be comfortable knowing the ins and outs of myself, because if I was taking on full ownership of my body, if I was going to heal, if I was going to really be that woman I have that picture of, that Grecian goddess, I needed to be able to know everything and stop outsourcing my body, my health, my happiness. Because I would outsource my happiness to external factors constantly, how could I fall in love with myself when self-love was deeply, deeply missing from my life and from my experience? I avoided mirrors all my life. I’d never felt beautiful. More of the growing up, the chubby girl with the double chin who had a great personality, but I never felt like a beautiful woman whatsoever, so I knew that needed to change.
When I first started the program, I remember I was telling a friend—and there’s not that many people you can share these stories with because not many people get it.
KIM: Let’s just back up for a second. How did you find my work in the midst of this? You’re doing yoni gazing—and I would love to hear a little more about that because you talked about having some psychedelic experiences.
JENNA: Yeah. That’s coming.
KIM: When you were yoni gazing. Oh, that’s coming, okay. Then how did you find my work?
JENNA: It was pretty soon after I had yoni gazed, and a friend said, “Check this girl out on Instagram.” And the first thing she sent me, or the first thing I saw, was Orgasmic Births. And I said, “This bitch is f**king crazy.” [Laughs]
KIM: [Laughs] Was that a good crazy or a skeptical crazy?
JENNA: Kim, it’s so off-menu for someone who had never heard about that. And I’m very open. I’ll hear something, and as much as I have to register it in my nervous system, I can start to integrate it. But I remember at first just saying, “What is she talking about?”
Because remember, I did not want to have children. I was terrified of being pregnant. Something about it brought about a lot of shame.
KIM: Well, all of that, the way you describe your initial feelings about your menstruation, even bigger than that is birth and motherhood and then everything surrounding that, so that’s not surprising.
JENNA: Yeah, yeah. It happened a couple of times. It didn’t become a practice like it is today. Today it’s on another level.
A friend was like, “Check this woman out,” and then I started following you. It was back when I think you were still doing retreats. I always just kept you there, and as I evolved and grew, I began to listen more to your work because it started to resonate a lot more.
So earlier this year, I was in North Carolina, and I was really alone. My husband traveled a lot for work. I had no friends. I’m a very highly spiritual, conscious woman, so being in this really small town in North Carolina—I’m not bashing it. I love it; it’s so beautiful—but I couldn’t find any deep connection. I couldn’t find anyone to have these types of conversations with. I couldn’t talk to anyone about my pussy. I couldn’t talk to anyone about any revelations or crazy dreams that I was having or just dive into depth. Because I love to live in the deep end.
I was like, this is the time. I want to continue to delve into my pussy, and there’s so much beauty that has already come; what do I have to lose at this point?
Within the first couple of days, I remember I was telling a friend, “I feel like I have been given these divine keys to my consciousness all of a sudden.” And I had a great childhood. It really was good, but I couldn’t remember it. I don’t have these crazy memories of all these things. And so I would be driving in the car or going with my husband to pick up tacos or something and these memories would just pop up. Then I would think about a person and about a memory in childhood.
It was like this whole map I had opened, this reservoir of information. It was almost like the universe was saying, “All right, you’re here. Here’s the key, open yourself, and let’s get to work,” essentially.
The first day that I yoni gazed, I put on this really beautiful low-cut, long-sleeved dress, and I wore dresses the entire salon. Absolutely loved it.
In the meditation, the visualization, you said, “Soften your eyes and just be, and just keep saying, ‘I love you. I love you. I love you.’” I noticed my body start to feel a little woozy. It was almost like the contrast of when heat hits cold. Almost like a mirage, like the way that there’s texture and space.
I started to see this really beautiful texture start to form all around my vulva. I said, “Wow, okay, this is really strange. What’s happening? Stay with it. Stay with it,” like you would with anything. All of a sudden, as I was staring, I realized my vagina opening was holding all the information. It was holding all the trauma, which is why I was so deeply afraid of putting my finger into it. It’s almost like you’re walking up the stairway to heaven and, all of a sudden, there’s a goblin at the gate trying to stop you from getting in. That’s what I felt.
It’s interesting, because we’ll get into what my vagina opening ended up revealing to me later. I was just staring at the tissue, and all of a sudden, it was like this portal just opened.
I lived in Sedona for a little while. I love 1111. I love all these portals, and everyone gets all f**king excited about this portal and that portal, but I don’t think I ever really truly understood a portal. I don’t think I’d ever really registered and seen the magnitude of a portal, and this portal opened. And it just sucked me in. I saw rape and famine and war and pain. I saw the deep divine feminine, or rather the feminine collective pain of what we’ve gone through.
I don’t like to come from a place where I’m a victim, because I’ll never play that card, but there’s still this element to witnessing and observing some of the stuff that I had experienced and that other women have experienced.
All of a sudden, I just stopped and was still in this warpy state of what is the one thing, the most important, sought-after thing in the universe? It’s my yoni. What, of anything that is here in this moment, in life, if we have all these wars and men move mountains and there are all these beautiful, crazy, romance stories of women just being beautiful and amazing and drawing them in and then life and death and everything that you can imagine within this picture. I was just like, I am what every single entity desires.
It was almost like I had this really beautiful connection, and I felt God for the first time. It was like, wow. It was almost like in The Matrix. I could see all these things. “I am this direct link to God, and that is right here with me, in between my legs.”
It was the most spiritual experience I had ever had. To all of a sudden sit there and say, “Wow, my pussy is the most important thing and there is nothing better than this.” And then, “I am the direct link to God, and it’s right here.” But then, “Holy shit, okay.” What happens if we can control the womb? What happens when we can control the yoni? What else can you control? Can you control humanity? Can you control the way that we evolve as people? How deep does this rabbit hole go?
It just started to really make a lot of sense as to how much work had been put in to limit women and to make them feel this shameful. Because if you can make a woman terrified of connecting to her period, her bleed, into anything that has anything to do with her being a woman, then I can imagine what other type of ties you can do to limit people, right?
So it was just this really wild experience, and I don’t think that there was anything as important as looking at myself in the mirror in this beautiful dress and thinking, “Wow, I am the direct link to God, and my pussy is the most sought-after thing in the world.”
KIM: Amazing. You had this realization, and then what happened post-that?
JENNA: We had a call with you one night, and I think it was the first call, and you said something about if your partner is not galloping with you and saying, “F**k, yes” to everything, then what are you doing? It was so raw and so real, and my heart started to sink because I knew at that moment that the marriage that I was in, if I were to invite Eric on this journey with me, he wouldn’t join me on the sexcapades of really understanding our sexuality and growing as deeply as I would’ve preferred.
I got off that call really, really upset and thinking, “Okay, well, how do I figure this out?” You know how you say a woman is always testing whether or not she’s safe in a relationship? Well, this was one of those safety pieces where I knew that I needed to form a test. I know that sounds pretty awful, but I ended up telling my husband. I said, “Look, I got you a surprise. I’m going to get you Sexual Mastery for Men with Kim Anami, and I want you to join me on this beautiful journey so that we can tap into this reservoir of deep love and cocreation and really step up our sex game.”
It wasn’t received in the way that I had hoped, and it ended up becoming a couple of days of conversation back and forth, to where he was feeling pushed to do something that he wanted to be able to do in his own time. We’re all in divine time, and we’re all doing everything the best with it that we can when we know we can and we feel we can.
I ended up having to put that on the back burner and so the remainder of everything else that we learned, I ended up doing on my own. I didn’t really have sex dates, or I would schedule them, and we would have a sex date, but Eric never invited me. He was never the one in charge. I was starting to feel like the man, essentially, because I was the one who was always reaching out and trying to have sex. I never felt really pursued.
I ended up putting him and that whole thing on the back burner because I knew it was important. “Well, okay, if they’re not ready, then you just keep going. Just keep going and keep riding that horse alone,” and I did.
It just became this every day of meeting myself and connecting with my yoni and breathing and staying so deeply connected to all these memories and all these amazing things that started to unfold. Finally—it was a little delayed—I got your Seva dildo in the mail, and I said, “Oh my god, I’m so excited!”
It was Christmas, and I remember seeing it and thinking, “Wow, this is about to go down and be really beautiful.” It took a little while for me to finally get the space of cervical orgasm, but when I finally got there, it was like multiple, multiple, multiple.
Then after I got up, I said, “Wow, I feel more like me. I feel more unapologetic, and I’m really excited about who I am and who I can share my life with and how I can continue to be me and authentic and start talking about this a little bit more.”
The way that I started stepping up in work, the way that I started to change and how I was looking at myself in the mirror just became this experience of self-discovery and self-love. I never danced alone. I hated to dance by myself, and then eventually that’s all I did. I would be in my panties, running around the house dancing all day, every day, and just exploring these new spaces and this work that I had been doing.
When I would use the egg, I noticed that every time I would work with my vagina opening, I would unlock a memory, like something would shift. Something would open. I had already had this doctor shame; I was dealing with a little bit of healing from that and from really accepting my bleed and taking my time for the first couple of days of my period and learning everything. It was just so incredibly beautiful and empowering.
That day, I had specifically worked a lot longer on my vagina opening and had done a really big release. I was lying in bed, and all of a sudden I got these pictures of my pediatrician. I said, “Why am I seeing this guy?” Then all of a sudden, I remembered I was about two or three years old. I remembered him pulling my panties down and laying me down on the table or whatever, the bench with all the paper on it, and pulling my labia apart to make sure that everything was okay.
I said, “Okay, am I forcing this memory? What is this? What is happening?” I sent the message to my sisters—my sisters have two kids each—and said, “Hey, guys, what do you remember about Dr. Sines? What do you remember about going to our pediatrician?” They said, “What are you doing thinking about Dr. Sines?” I said, “Don’t ask. It’s not an easy question to answer, but what do you remember?”
“Oh, we just remember running away from the vaccines and hating all that and then, yeah, that’s it. Why? Why? What’s up?”
I said, “Do you remember him taking your panties off and looking at you?” And they said, “No, I don’t. Not at all.” I said, “Okay, well, what was that?” And they said, “But we take our kids to do that, and doctors check all our children, whether their genitals are growing all right.” I said, “What? You have a vagina, you have a vulva. You clearly had a penis you’ve had sex with.”
I looked online. Then I got on the Google machine and said, “Okay, do doctors or pediatricians take down kids’ pants and stare at their genitals?” “Yes. It’s a practice and everyone is doing it, and you could totally opt out if you want to.”
I talked to other people about it and they said, “Oh yeah, the doctor’s done that to Cindy, or Samantha, or Timothy, or whatever.”
I’m like, am I crazy for having this wild experience? Thinking we are literally giving our children away to strangers so their pants can be pulled down and looked at. This is an old man with a beard, and I was a two- to three-year-old Jenna, and look, granted, I don’t have any crazy trauma. I’m not mad at my mother about it. I called her and had her validate the experience. “I’m not mad at you.”
KIM: Okay. But if you were to just extrapolate the fact that this person is called a doctor and your mom took you over to this old man’s house and he pulled your pants down and stared at your genitals, would we accept that? It’s only because people have been so conditioned to think that doctors have some god-like power that we should give them the rights to our bodies. We’re conditioned from birth, from early infanthood, to believe and have this imprinted upon us to give this power away.
But yeah, you wouldn’t consider that to be normal behavior—consider that serious child molestation.
JENNA: Yeah. We’ve been conditioned to endure unwanted touch all our life. All the unwanted touch. All the, “Oh, go kiss your auntie or your uncle and say hi to them,” or being tickled against our will, and forced to eat our food and just constantly told to have all these unpleasant body sensations that are taking us out of being fully embodied and understanding our limits and what our boundaries are.
And “Oh no, it’s totally okay,” so later, how is that going to allow me or teach me to know how to say no? It doesn’t really give us any room to understand pleasure, to understand what we want. For women, mostly, I think we do a lot of performance, and we do everything to please anyone else. I totally understand why if it comes from a loving place, but it doesn’t come from a self-love space, which was so important for me to understand.
It was that moment that I knew, “Okay, this is so deep, and this doctor thing runs so into this conditioning of it’s okay to just take your pants down and have a doctor stuff their hands down your pants.”
KIM: I’d love to hear more about your transformations. You talk about the shifts in your vagina. You’ve gone from being a woman who was afraid to put her fingers in her own vagina, and now you talk about being multi-orgasmic and having a very articulate vagina that can even play the flute.
JENNA: Yes.
KIM: Let’s hear more about that.
JENNA: Yeah. I started to be able to play with the egg a lot, to where I was able to move it horizontally in my yoni. I remember when you first started talking about controlling the right side and then isolating the left, or vice versa, it seemed nearly impossible.
But the amount that I was able to pull the egg in and work with it and isolate the movement and then my vagina opening started to unlock. And I would unfold into at least 20 back-to-back—I guess I would call them vaginal orgasms. They were just this constant rhythm of awakening and the amount that I was able, and that I am able, to use the egg and to pull it all the way inside to articulate every angle.
The cervix just became this really interesting level, and then when I started using Seva, I would be able to feel all these different ways. I would just play with the articulation of trying from the top, from the side, from here, and the way that I was able to bring the egg in or bring the dildo in. And then I started doing my masturbation, or my self-pleasuring practices, in front of the mirror. Because I said, “I’m starting to feel really beautiful, finally.” And I’d avoided the mirror my entire life.
Now I have a floor-to-ceiling mirror, and I will self-pleasure in front of the mirror because I want to know what it is like for a man to be able to have sex with this goddess, with this woman who has put so much work and effort into her body and all this self-love. Even just by watching myself oscillate and move, I feel so empowered to witness myself in pleasure and to finally hold space for this beautiful woman that I have become, who I am so excited to continue to grow.
All the practices that I have picked up, the different ways, all the cervical orgasms that I find to be absolutely incredible for all reasons of wiping out everything that I could ever have imagined.
I’m going through this experience of being my best f**k buddy. Although I was married, I didn’t really have a partner to do this with, so I essentially just became a single woman who was discovering and pleasuring herself, having sex with herself, and going through all the ins and outs of what that was like, even though I had a husband who was sitting on a couch just a couple of feet away.
It was still this beautiful experience, but it was also very quiet, and I didn’t feel like I could talk to him about all the orgasmic, enlightening experiences, the sensations that I had in my body, and what was starting to change.
It ultimately became a thing where I started to have honest conversations and said, “I feel like I’m starting to push you to do something that you aren’t really interested in, and this is not coming from a place of love. This is coming from me trying to change you into something that you’re not.”
From all these elements of who I’m growing into and this exploration of my yoni, and feeling all this pleasure, and starting to have that sense that, “I deserve better,” I know that I want someone to be able to ride this with me because I know that I deeply deserve it after all the work that I have done to come home to myself for the first time. I want a deep, passionate, soulful, sexual relationship. I realized that my libido had gone completely down because I had to minimize my sexual self to meet another person where he was at.
It was all self-ownership too. Why was my vagina dry? Well, my vagina was dry because I had to lower my libido so I wouldn’t get rejected every time I kept trying to have sex. It was a numb vagina, it was super dry, and it was age. I was a victim to age. I was a victim to, “Okay, well, you just get older and that’s what you do.” And that’s what everyone is just telling you.
KIM: Well, that was your rationalization.
JENNA: Yeah.
KIM: It doesn’t mean that age was the cause.
JENNA: Right.
KIM: It became part of your rationalization, where really your vagina just wasn’t happy in this particular partnership.
JENNA: Exactly. That’s what it was. At the time, I was convincing myself and learning about lube and learning about the perpetuating cycle. We all have the ability to lubricate. We just need to move this sexual energy and these sexual blocks in order for us to start to get more blood flow.
Because of not really having this beautiful enlightenment of sex because I had to minimize myself and my sexual self to fit into this relationship that, over time and after that one call, I realized really wasn’t supporting me. Because anything that I would ever want to do, I would want to share with my partner. I want to really dive in like Jen and Jeff and make all this money and have wild sexcapades and dates.
I wanted dates. I wanted breast orgasms. I wanted to squirt. I wanted to just come all over the walls and to be with someone to hold me in that space. I wanted period sex and to just get dirty and be primal. To also be in love and to be in this beautiful space of exploration that we’ve been shamed all of our lives that we can’t do, we shouldn’t do, it should look like this, it can’t look like that, and I wanted to be free of it.
KIM: Yeah, that’s great. You went from that place and into your own transformations. You said you lost some weight.
JENNA: Yes. I’ve been a yoga teacher for ten years, and I have stubborn lower fat in my lower belly. The practices in the morning and then using the egg and having that level of articulation of how my cervix could really pull the egg up. Even Seva is just a beautiful suction vacuum now and she’s hungry.
Over time, when I would look in the mirror, I would think, “She’s starting to shed, and she’s definitely got a lot more tone.” This area that I had never really accessed just started to look and feel a lot better. It’s such deep inner work. Sure, I can do a crunch, but if you’re not really accessing your deeper organs and the deeper spaces of where your PC muscles are, it’s really not going to be that possible.
I actually had a very low level of incontinence too. It was only in the morning, and then again, I would think, “Oh, that’s just what happens; you’re getting older,” and that’s just part of the rhetoric that gets force-fed to us. That completely went away within two days. That was one of the easiest things to fix.
Yeah, so I just started to take ownership. “Jenna, you caused this. You’re the reason why you’re dry. You’re the reason why you’re not feeling anything. You’re the reason why your libido is down. If you’re going to be doing this with your body, there are other aspects of your life that you need to start taking ownership of too.”
Then I took ownership of the fact that I knew that the relationship had an incompatibility problem. As much as I deeply love my ex-husband, and still do, I didn’t want to force him to be something that he’s not. That wouldn’t have come from a place of integrity in any capacity.
Finally, after months of not having sex and months and months and months of conversation, I eventually said, “Look, I don’t see this going anywhere in the next year or two years whatsoever. I think we need to call it what it is because this is what I’m looking for, and I want you to be happy more than anything, but I’m not, and I know you’re not either.”
Two days later, I packed my car up in North Carolina and moved back to Austin, and here I am.
KIM: Amazing. Very brave. You said that in the past, you were wallflower-ish and didn’t really receive a lot of male attention. Have you seen that change now that you’ve really come into your own and feel much more in ownership of yourself and your sexuality?
JENNA: Yes, absolutely. The number of incredible, beautiful men who have been falling into my lap in the most incredible, beautiful, synchronistic ways of friendship.
What’s so interesting is that although I’ve left the marriage and I’m spending all this time getting to know myself and being single—because I haven’t been single in 20 years—they’ve all come in these beautiful forms of friendship, of support, and who they are and what they’re teaching me.
This level of masculine connection, they’re almost like my cheerleaders who really see who I am, and they want me to be better. They’re all incredibly sovereign and healed and sexy and smart, and they have so much depth. They deeply care for me, and we all deeply care for each other.
But it’s interesting because I don’t really have one here in Austin; they’re just sprinkled all over the country. It’s really fun to have these different dynamics and perspectives. That’s really helping me continue on this path that I’m on, which is pretty terrifying, but yeah, it’s wild to have a new form of feeling beautiful and knowing that I do have what it takes, because I deeply, deeply believe that the love that I’m seeking is so close. I’m just really looking forward to knowing that I have it in me to draw this type of man in. That song that I played for you earlier is by a really good friend of mine in Hawaii, and he said, “Hey, let’s get on the call and let’s do something.”
These relationships are adding so much value, and I’m experiencing what it would be like to have a man that I’m calling through these really beautiful, supportive friendships and these soulful connections.
KIM: You also had a transformation with other body parts, like your breasts. What happened there? You said you hated them.
JENNA: Yeah. I grew up with people joking that my breasts looked like orangutan titties. I know, it was pretty harsh. My sisters had reductions; they’ve had implants. They’ve also struggled. I was little titty committee, and they had very large breasts.
There was this element of, Am I even feminine? And I guess maybe even going into, was I trying to be a man by denying my feminine body? I ended up not growing breasts at all. And I remember when I got a breast oil a couple of years ago. One day I was using it, and I said, “Wow, I’m getting really aroused by this. This is amazing. Maybe I should go masturbate,” so I did.
So allowing that to come into the repertoire here, the way that my breasts have completely filled out and opened and blossomed and how much time and energy I put into loving myself, loving that part of myself. Because luckily, I was never one of those kids who ever tried to stuff their bra or anything, but opening my body and understanding the beauty that my breasts also have to offer, I was so into trying to have breast orgasms. But it still hasn’t been anything that I really tap into yet.
But yeah, I absolutely felt this new sensation of feeling really feminine, this beauty of opening my heart, who I am going to be in the world, and how I am going to showcase this new, authentic voice that I’ve started to open up to and access. For me to be in ownership of my sexuality, so much so that I have no problem talking about it, I can still lift my chest and open myself to the world.
I moved back from North Carolina to Austin in September, and I’ve gotten on Instagram, and a lot of the work that I do, I’ve started to become a lot more open about my sexuality and about what I know in this field and my story and how I can share that with more people.
Because I remember seeing you or yoga teachers, and I would take a beauty yoga class and see women really embodying their sexual energy and owning it and the way that they could move their hips. I always found that to be extremely inspiring, and I always wanted to be that.
The more that I’m talking and the more I’m diving into this, I’m realizing this is who I really am becoming, someone to talk a lot more about intimacy.
What helped me was being able to be so unapologetic and so open in my life as this sexual woman, so I really don’t care. I’ve had phone calls where I don’t care what people think of me. I don’t care if you don’t like this. I don’t care if I’m embarrassing you. I don’t care if you’re having a hard time digesting what I’m saying. I’m saying this because this is coming from a deep-rooted being. This is coming from a deep-rooted sense of who I am as a woman on this earth and how I want to share my mission.
How much light can I spread? Maybe there’s a woman who happens to see me and say, “Wow, I see that,” just the way I saw you, spreading a domino effect of more inspiration.
Because when we are here and when we can love ourselves this much and we can masturbate in front of the mirror, we can take these big leaps and leave a very healthy, safe marriage.
KIM: With your breasts, you said that you were quite disassociated from them; did they fill out after?
JENNA: Yes. Yeah, yes. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. They filled out. Even during pleasure, I did really enjoy that they did. I would say that I have definitely grown at least half a cup. They’ve lifted for sure, yes.
KIM: Beautiful. I love that, just feeling that you’re connecting to them and that actually manifests in the physical change.
JENNA: Yes.
KIM: Then you also said that you healed abortion trauma through doing this work. How would you describe that?
JENNA: I had an abortion when I was 22. I’m 37. It was after that when I got on birth control. When I saw the positive test, I remember thinking again to my body, the way I did early in puberty, why are you doing this to me? I became this victim to life and to my body and to what was happening, rather than being able to take accountability for what it was.
It was a very, very challenging time that I have had to let go of in terms of the different dynamics with my relationship and what was happening. You started talking about the deep consequences; that’s how powerful we are. We have this power to conceive; we have this incredible power to create life.
The fact that this is just thrown out, almost like an abortion these days, is just like taking a Tic Tac. It’s not even that big of a deal. It just becomes like another option for people. It’s like birth control, the pull-out method, condoms. “I’ll just get an abortion; that’s not that big of a deal.” That wasn’t something that I had fully registered.
When I started going through all the journaling entries of everything that was in the program, I spent about a week on my hands and knees crying and taking full accountability for the abortion that happened. I reached out to my spiritual mentor and said, “Look, I’m feeling really messy. I’m opening up this door to all this trauma that I thought I had released whenever I was releasing my asthma, because I thought I had taken a lot of responsibility and done the work then, when I was releasing a lot of grief and sadness.”
She ended up suggesting a specific meditation and visualization for me, and she said, “I want you to go back to that Jenna at 22, and I want you to go be with her. When you go be with her, I want you to give her a hug, and I want it to almost be as if it becomes this thing where you are receiving the hug, but you’re also giving it at the same time. Whatever it is that you would tell yourself at 22, as a coach, as a sister, as a confidant, please tell her. Tell her what you think and tell her that she’s loved, because clearly there is a time when she really wasn’t feeling that much love for herself.”
I went there, I had done all that, I was using the egg, particularly when we were doing a lot of light frequencies and the meditation, really cleansing the areas, and looking at my ways of how this decision was impacting my life.
I was able to, at the very end of these meditations—I did about five of them—meet my 22-year-old self, and through the journaling and using the yoni egg, I also started to visualize, okay, if I were to rewrite the story, what would it look like? And how would I have wanted it to end?
Through that series of sessions, I started to rewrite the story. I rewrote it in a way that is a lot more healing, a lot more self-accepting, because my worth really wasn’t the best at that time, and I was making a lot of mistakes in my life, clearly, and to look back and to say, “Okay, this is how you’re going to want this to end. I think we have the power in our body and in our mind and consciousness to rewrite stories.” So there are different timelines in the ways that things can unfold.
I created a whole new timeline for that experience, and so from the weeping, from the accountability, from the journaling and everything that I did, now when I think about the experience, I look back and it’s been rewritten. It’s not the same experience.
KIM: Amazing. That’s fantastic. Well done.
JENNA: Thank you.
KIM: Well, this has been amazing. Thank you so much for everything. Are there any parting words you’d like to share as we wrap up?
JENNA: Do the work. I just had an orgasm right before this class. I love it. I am so free and so happy. I’ve healed my relationship with my vagina, my relationship with myself, my relationship with my menstruation, and my relationship with my body altogether. If there’s anyone who has any experiences that will stop you from doing the work, I really highly recommend it. I see my life completely growing and expanding in a way that it is, and even more so.
I’m so grateful for the amount of time and effort and work that you put into this, Kim. It was absolutely incredible. One of the most beautiful experiences. I’m still using every tool. I’m still in the program; it’s a life practice, and I will never stop. I love it.
KIM: Amazing. That’s great to hear. Thank you, Jenna.
JENNA: Thank you so much.
KIM: My legendary Vaginal Kung Fu Salon opens for registration next week. This is your step-by-step guide to learn to harness all of the creative, orgasmic, and healing potential of your vagina.
All the practices Jenna talks about for cultivating her feminine energy and awakening her vagina to be the ultimate truth-teller and divining rod are what we do in Vaginal Kung Fu.
From the jade egg vaginal workouts to the breast massage routines, self-pleasuring practices, and vaginal reconnaissance, it’s all here.
Plus all of my quantum techniques for you to clear blockages, dive into sexual shadow work, reset your nervous system from the deepest possible level, and clear the channels so your vagina can function as your ultimate GPS in your life. And of course, orgasm-giver.
All this and more in Vaginal Kung Fu.
To check out my free video series, Magnetize Men, Money, and Miracles With Your Vagina, and be notified when we open the doors for registration, go to KimAnami.com. Look for Sexual Savant Salons and click on Vaginal Kung Fu. You too can have a super-magnetic, gushing, lubricating, ejaculating, self-healing, creative, genius-producing vagina.
If you’d like to go deeper into all things orgasms, sign up for my free Orgasmapedia Series, where you’ll learn about nine different types of orgasms everyone can have. Go to KimAnami.com and you’ll see the sign-up there. Come one, come all.
