I am so F**king Hot for Myself – TRANSCRIPT
“I can’t wait to come home and… fuck myself!”
“I daydream all day about fucking…myself!”
“I’m counting the minutes until I can get back into bed with…myself!”
“I get wet just thinking about fucking…myself!”
I LOVE THIS so much.
One of the things we LOVE hearing about in the journeys of our Well-F**ked All Stars is when they fall madly, passionately in love with each other.
And themselves.
When they describe this smouldering fire of self-love and desire, they use the same kind of language and energy as if they were talking about the relationship with their lover:
Especially from women—men seem to have an easier time and much more permission to develop a sexual relationship—read: wanking—with themselves.
But for some women, this can be a major challenge and roadblock.
Many women have never put their fingers in their own vaginas.
Many women think that self-pleasuring is boring and just “not for them”.
Many women have no idea of the geography of their own anatomy, or what turns them on.
Know thyself.
Love thyself.
The keys to the queendom are found… in your vagina.
It’s true.
The deeper vaginal orgasms are your ticket to enlightenment, cash, confidence and radiant, magnetic beauty.
The ultimate panacea for all that ails you.
These are well-fucked woman goals.
And they are attainable for EVERYONE.
Remember the Anami Guarantee?
Every woman can.
Every woman can have deep, life-changing G-Spot and cervical orgasms. Every woman can ejaculate across the room. Every woman can shoot ping pong balls with her vagina.
I guarantee it.
So if you don’t YET shoot ping pong balls and don’t YET have cervical orgasms, what can you do to evoke the Anami Guarantee?
Here are five tools you can start using:
1) Self-reconnaissance
Know thyself.
Inside and out.
Come to know every little nook and cranny and fold of your vulva and vagina.
Spend time in that great majestic cavern and portal to other dimensions.
A well-fucked woman knows herself and her vagina better than anyone.
Ideally, you can bring yourself to each of the orgasmic states I talk about, on your own.
Having this kind of sexual self-mastery boosts your confidence massively and also your attractiveness factor.
Men can sense when a woman has this kind of sexual fearlessness. It magnetizes them.
2) Yoni gazing
Another element of self-knowledge.
Some women have spoken about how they couldn’t pick their vulvas out of a lineup.
It’s hard for me to relate to that!
I’ve been checking myself out for as long as I can remember!
Yoni gazing takes this a step further.
We make this into a practice. A ritual. An homage.
Not only do you get to know yourself inside and out, women describe their experiences as mind-altering and psychedelic.
An energetic portal opens and they enter it.
You are gazing at the door between worlds.
The ultimate inter-dimensional gateway.
3) Jade yoni egg
The number one vaginal strengthening tool in the world.
Making super pussies for over 5000 years.
Most vaginas are numb, weak and flabby.
I know, sounds bad. But them’s the facts.
If you don’t exercise it, how will it ever build strength and agility?
Which is what we want from every vagina.
To be supple, toned and strong.
Full of pleasure and orgasms.
The natural state of every vagina.
The jade yoni egg does all this and more.
4 Surrender
What is surrender?
You stop resisting. You let down your guard.
You get our of your own way.
You allow all the blessings of life: wealth, love, pleasure, orgasms to come to you.
And through you.
Opening up to the flow of the universe is the essence of a well-fucked woman.
She’s opening her heart, her legs, her energy to being penetrated, deeply, by the universe and by life.
She’s orgasming and ejaculating all over the place, shooting out great gushes of fluid and ecstasy everywhere.
That’s paving her way through the world.
All of her juiciness lubricates the path, making everything smoother and softer and … flow-ier.
And that translates into doors opening everywhere.
5) Self-pleasuring
I distinguish between self-pleasuring and self-exploration.
In self yoni massage and reconnaissance, we’re in sheer exploration mode.
Our intention is to heal and awaken.
Think of it more like a therapeutic massage.
Of course, you may enjoy it and it’s pleasurable.
But our main intention is to get out the kinks and blocks.
In self-pleasuring, we’re actively looking for bliss pathways.
When we find them, we follow them.
We begin to chart our own ecstasy map.
We understand what kind of touch turns us on.
What that special place is in our vagina that responds wildly and makes us gush.
What is your favourite tempo? And pressure?
We get good at ALL of it.
In the WFW Salon, I give you specific steps for clitoral, G-Spot, cervical and anal orgasms.
And even throat-gasms.
Because yeah, throat orgasms are a thing.
***
You’ll learn everything from anatomy to technique, plus the elusive quality I just mentioned, that separates the girls from the women—surrender.
All of the deeper, life-changing orgasms demand it.
Otherwise, if everyone could look up technique on the internet, then everyone would be having these orgasms, wouldn’t they?
But they aren’t.
My work fills in all the missing pieces of WHY they aren’t.
And how to bridge that gap.
And I will remind you once more that: Every. Woman. Can.
**
You’ll notice that none of these suggestions are about theory.
All of them require showing up and getting into it.
“The only way out is through” says Robert Frost.
“And the only way IN is through.” says Kim Anami
Rolling up your sleeves and getting intimate with yourself.
In today’s all star interview, we’re speaking to Jessica.
She did the WFW Salon solo and speaks to how grateful she is that she did.
She ended up falling in love and lust with herself and now is in a much higher frequency place to attract a new partner.
He’ll need to take Sexual Mastery for Men to be able to keep up with her.
***WELL-F**KED ALL STAR JESSICA***
KIM: Hello, Jessica.
JESSICA: Hi, Kim.
KIM: Tell me all about, “I am so fucking hot for myself.” What does that mean and what does that look like? We all want to know.
JESSICA: First off, I’ve been following your work for several years now and I’ve learned a lot throughout the years through the podcast and considered myself when I entered into Well-F**ked Woman like in a good place with squirting and the multiple orgasms and being in tune with my body.
But I realized like once I got into the course and we peeled back all of the fun gadgets and all the funky things that I was using to get in and get my orgasm done and get out, that—
KIM: So just to clarify, does that mean you were having more like clitoral orgasms? When you say gadgets, were you using a vibrator? What does that mean
JESSICA: Yeah.
KIM: Like things that most—the average plebian sex coach would say, “Yeah, girl, use that lube!” “Yeah, girl, use that vibrator!” “Yeah, girl, use that porn.” “Yeah, that’s a great, liberated sex life. You’re a modern woman.”
JESSICA: Yeah. Like in my mind I was doing everything fine. Like yeah, so it was everything you listed. Lube, fantasy, like the idea of somebody, or porn, something that’s tempting besides myself, vibration, but ultimately the clitoral stimulation. Like either always having clitoral orgasms or like really using that as the main ramp-up.
Then when I had to strip all of that back, it was like I went in to probably five sessions, just like trying to power through it. Like, “I’m going to get that G-Spot orgasm.”
Then not because I couldn’t do all of those things and realizing I really needed to like get more into the foundation of like, okay, this is for me. This is with me. Like really learn my body and understand like why is my vagina numb? I need to wake that up. I need to understand it better.
I started to take it more like a medication, like a self-care practice, of really like learning my body. After probably like five sessions of being super frustrated and not getting what I wanted, I think I was doing the yoni reconnaissance and then I decided to do yoni gazing and something just clicked, and I was like so hot for myself. I was so hot for my yoni, and I started touching myself and like looking at it in the mirror and squirting on the mirror. And all of the juices were like all over my body, and I was like licking it.
I was excited like if you were with another person and you’re really hot for that other person, but I was doing that with myself. That was a very—like I have chills right now because that was just such an exciting experience to tap into that. Then I did it. Like I just broke open that thing and the rest is kind of just like… a lot of sex with myself after that.
But yeah, so I had my first solo, I guess I’d call it, like without any extra use of all those other things, G-Spot orgasm. And that was such a memorable sexual experience for me because it was all mine. I did that all myself. Nothing outside of me created that and I can have that forever now; it’s not going to come and go with a partner or what not.
Yeah, it was a really blissful experience. Then after that came a deep catharsis. Like pretty much immediately after. There’s that bliss that come up, that like really good feeling, it feels really good. And even in the catharsis, I felt so good. Like it was such an enjoyable release of like love and self-care. Like I’m doing this right now [hugging herself] because I feel like that’s how it was. Like I was just holding myself and being able to go into that space and care for myself and probably give myself the love like I didn’t have in the moment when I was receiving that pain.
KIM: Okay. Would you describe that as a certain kind of vulnerability? Like a cracking open that you felt? Like when you were just hugging yourself and when you call that a catharsis, what were you feeling in the moment? Was that sadness, grief, fear, anger, or bliss? Like how would you describe it?
JESSICA: I mean, it’s such a full range of everything. Like definitely bliss but I would say a lot of sadness and grief. And I know that’s what was in my body from experiences that had just happened, so it was all like coming in this way where it’s like sad wasn’t sad and bliss was good. It was just like all this really beautiful like juicy purposeful full thing that I really—I stopped defining like tears or like this release or this really vulnerable emotional place with like, “Oh, I’m sad again.”
Like it wasn’t even really attached to a story. It was just—I feel it as like it was all of this pain in my body and it was getting out. So I mean, not only was I stoked to like keep going with doing like fucking myself all the time, because I was just excited that I was able to tap into that, but I was also excited to go into those spaces to like release and to hold myself and to care for myself in that way because I really think that at that point in my life that’s what I really needed.
So yeah, I think—does that answer your question?
KIM: Yeah. That’s how we often talk about the deeper vaginal orgasms. It feels like there’s this release of even decades or lifetimes of stuck energy. Whether that’s sadness, grief, just held emotion that all mixes together and it comes to you in such a way that you’re able to move through it. Maybe because there’s this connection to pleasure or you’re so in the moment, in your body, like a psychedelic experience, where it kind of takes over and starts moving through you. Then you come out of it the other side.
And as well that it’s not necessarily or often isn’t connected to a particular memory or experience. It’s just this load of stuff that’s finally found an avenue to be released in your system, in your psyche, in your body, and it’s taking it.
This is why I always talk about these deeper vaginal orgasms being essential, good fuck medicine for women, the best therapy that’s available. The best processing tool, because we have it as an innate gift, and access to it anytime, anyplace.
Like you said, you got there on your own, even independent of a lover, so these tools are yours by birth. Your birthright is to have that level of pleasure, but also this ability to heal yourself.
JESSICA: Yeah. And I really like what you said about not attaching to a story. Because like of course I’ve had all of these stories about what was making me sad or why I even entered the course, but in that moment, it was just like this is stuck in here and needs to get out. Then I had this feeling of, oh, my gosh, it was so much. Like I could do this every day and have the same release every day. It was this liberating feeling of just like, it hurts, get it out.
KIM: We often—when women come into the salons, they’ll have this resistance toward self-pleasuring. Some of them have never even touched their own vaginas or put their fingers in their own vaginas. Some of that resistance is like a moral, it’s taboo, it’s just an idea. Some of it is connected to past trauma. And it can be this hump of resistance, and I love that you—no pun intended—that you had some sessions that were maybe frustrating or less fruitful, but you persevered and cracked through to the other side.
Then the way you described it is like being in this honeymoon stage of a relationship where you’re falling in love with yourself and you couldn’t get enough of fucking yourself and so turned on by yourself.
Describe more of that to me because there’s that this cliché out there, “Well, you know to find a partner, you have to love yourself first.” And it’s entirely true, but you hear it over and over and over again where it starts to feel less meaningful. You’re like, “Okay, yeah, I get it, but whatever.” You’re kind of like in one ear, out the other.
To me, this is the deepest possible expression of that reality. It’s one thing to be like affirmations, “I am loving myself,” every day. [Laughs] But this is that kind of self-love on an entirely different and much more profound level.
JESSICA: Yeah. I mean, like I have chills like throughout this conversation because, yeah, I mean, you said it exactly. Like I’ve been in places in my life where I was single and my own partner and content in that.
But I’ve never been able to really fulfill myself in the sexual department. I mean, I would get in and get out. But it wasn’t like having that honeymoon, like when you’re with a partner and you’re in bed all day and you just like can’t take your hands off of each other and you’re thinking about it.
I remember just like doing other things and like daydreaming about like just going back to bed with myself. It really was like I couldn’t get enough of myself. Yeah, that’s another layer that’s like I’m so grateful that I did it alone. Because at the beginning, I was kind of like, “Oh, it’s so much easier for everyone that has a partner. They’re going to be able to just like tap into this right away. Maybe I’m never going to get there.”
Then once I did, I was like, “Whoa, this is the ticket.” Now I feel like this idea of a partner in the future is like I need nothing now. If that comes along and it adds to my life in like a really wonderful way, fine. But until then, the bar is even higher now because I don’t need that intimacy.
Like when I say intimacy, yeah, obviously the sex, but even though like the care and the holding space for myself in that way, in that intimate space, is also something I’ve never really done in the sexual setting.
KIM: I love that. This is what we talk about and I’m a really big proponent of, is that in between relationships we use that time to heal and uplevel and raise our vibration and frequency so then we can attract a higher-caliber partner. That is the best use of the single time that we have.
So that we also avoid perpetuating the same patterns, attracting the same people, which we will unless we go in and do a reconfiguration. Which we can do through analysis, but we can also do it on a more higher, actually repatterning our cells from the deepest possible level and resetting ourselves through fucking ourselves and having deeper, vaginal, rebirthing, nervous system resetting at the deepest level type of orgasms. Where we then manifest in a much different way.
And I love this because—and again, this is one of those things that you hear over and over again. You have to be content and happy with yourself and if you’re in a place where you don’t need someone is where you’re more likely to find them. Where you’re not then looking out of a place of need and desperation or looking for someone to fulfill missing parts. You’ve actually very well, on many levels, fulfilled yourself, and someone who can meet you there, and bring that same level of self-love and self-autonomy and deep self-knowledge to the equation. That’s an unstoppable match. Like to meet then the equal caliber of that is an incredible thought.
JESSICA: Yeah.
KIM: So tell me then more about what else happened in your outer life? After you’re having these high level experiences and feeling this purging and cleansing of old stuff and you’re then in this really radiant, well-fucked, glistening place, how did you notice the outer world change around you?
JESSICA: I think like that’s when I really identified the difference between manifesting and being magnetic. Like I feel like manifesting is like I had this idea of the life that I wanted or the things that I wanted, and I was really into that. Like writing things down and visualizing it and feeling it. And like thinking I knew what I needed for my life.
And the magnetism, I feel like it’s another level where it’s like things just come to me. Like all these opportunities just come, maybe before I even knew I wanted them, and it’s all just here now.
I have this trust to be like, “Okay, I don’t have to chase that. I don’t have to go after that. Like chill and be more in that receptive energy than like I think manifesting sometimes I was chasing, and I was so certain of what I wanted.
Like because so much was coming to me, like I’d be in the middle of a conversation with someone and be like, “Oh, I want to do this thing.” And then they’re like, “Oh, I’m a practitioner of that.” And just opportunities for work were coming to me, like I noticed seeing it through other people’s eyes. You just know when you’re in that energy. Just like people give you a free coffee. Like things are just happening and coming and life feels like really easy and flowy.
Yeah. I also feel I learned to have this trust and kind of hitting on things a little bit. Not needing to be so like, “Okay, yeah, like this was offered to me, like I’m going to go after it.” Like just kind of taking a breath and really making sure I knew what was fully aligned and what’s going to fall off.
So yeah, that was a huge shift for me. Like a level of confidence.
KIM: Yeah. And that confidence is palpable. All of these things really are the aura of the Well-F**ked Woman. I love what you said about things coming to you before you even fully realized that they were things you wanted.
Even in the whole manifesting, conscious manifesting process, there is an element of not quite chasing, but like work. Okay, I need to focus on this thing and list this thing and make this vision board, which I think are all helpful tools. However, I think the most important generation of that magnetic energy is from our genitals. The procreative tools that we have on this plane.
And then to activate them and then watch them do the work, it’s like when I talk about the thing that happens when women become well fucked and they start to not give a fuck what people think. They’re not trying to not give a fuck, they just don’t give a fuck. There’s not an ounce of, “Okay, today I’m not going to give a fuck what so-and-so thinks, or if they say something to me, I’m not going to care.” None of that ever happens. You just bust out into the world and you’re throwing out your energy and your thoughts and your opinions and you did not give a fuck. If they don’t like it, fine, leave. It’s not my problem.
But there’s no energy, like no challenging, provocative energy. You just are who you are. I think this is similar to that, is then you’re so much in alignment of the truth of who you are that your field begins to reject people who are not, people and opportunities and experiences not in alignment with that, and bring in the ones who are at a much more precise level.
JESSICA: Totally. I couldn’t have said it better. Like it’s exactly what I experienced. Like I think if someone would’ve told me two years ago that I was repelling someone, I would be like, “What did I do? What did I say?” Like it would be in my head because I so much saw myself through other people’s eyes. Validation was really important to me.
Now it’s like, you know what? If they don’t like me, good. Like that just saved us both some time and energy and confusion and like I’m stoked to repel somebody at this point because I don’t have—I don’t care. That’s also something that I got from this, is realizing how much like I saw, like if I was beautiful or sexy, or whatever, through my partner’s eyes.
I had a history of going for love bombers. So like it’s really intense in the beginning and it’s really cool to see yourself with somebody that’s obsessed with you. But when that gets taken away, then it’s like life shattering because now I’m like, “Okay, I’m not those things anymore?” I don’t know. It’s a really confusing place to be.
So being able to throw that all out the window and be like, “I’m me and I know like what’s me and something great to offer and if that doesn’t align with somebody, then like, great. There’s a lot of other people in this world.”
KIM: Yeah. That comes from that trust, like you said, and security within yourself, and trust that the universe will provide and match you up with the right kinds of people and right kinds of opportunities.
You mentioned it, but I’d like to hear you be even more clear about it for anyone listening to this who is single and wondering about whether they can do this work as a single person or feeling sorry for themselves as a single person. Because sometimes come into the salon and they see people who have partners and they’re like, “Oh, it just makes me sad that I don’t have that.”
And look, valid feeling and reaction, so long as we don’t dwell there. So can you speak a bit more to the power of being single and doing this work because in some ways, like if you have a resistant partner or a partner with a slower pace than you, you can actually move a lot faster than when you’re partnered up.
JESSICA: Yeah. I mean, it all goes back to that, “I did it. This is all mine. This is all with myself. I don’t have to depend on anything outside of me for it.” And yeah, like I said, I felt that way at the beginning where I was like, “Oh, I wish this was easier.”
But then towards the end, when I was really in the flow with it, I was like, “I kind of feel bad for the people that are stuck with their partners because they’re not getting the same experience.” It’s different. Everybody deserves that whether they’re in a partnership for the rest of their lives or not, like to be able to be that for yourself is like super important and definitely harder, but I’m sure there’s like a pretty good saying, cliché saying about the harder road is the more rewarding ending.
So yeah, I highly encourage if someone has a partner, to do it alone. Or to do their work, like side work alone, sometimes.
KIM: Right. You can do both. There’s practices, like the self-exploration, yoni gazing, self-pleasuring, still vitally-important practices within a partnership or not. That self-knowledge and know thyself, reconnaissance mastery and then obviously if you have a partner who is really on board, that’s amazing, too. But that’s the key is having a really on-board partner to go much further and faster and higher.
JESSICA: Yeah.
KIM: So tell me about the psychedelic element. You’ve talked about having a self-pleasuring session and feel like you’re microdosing ecstasy or psychedelics and having these waves of creativity. It’s even deepening your meditations. Let’s hear about that.
JESSICA: Yeah. Like I remember I was living in the jungle. I live in Nicaragua now and I was in the jungle in rainy season, so there’s just like so many plants around. It was just like kind of bouncing around all of the time. Like it was probably weird to be around me. I was living in a community, and I was just like really high, like hyped up. Like I was just on love drugs.
But the plants, they were like defined in this way that were—like the colors were brighter and the texture of them seemed more defined and everything around me felt more alive. It was just this feeling like—kind of just like glowy buzz. Just like I take a little bit of ecstasy, a little bit of psychedelic, and it just gave me this day glow.
Yeah, like in the meditations and in creativity, I was really into doing these Meditate, Masturbate, Create because I write. So for me, that was a really good formula to like get the juices flowing. Even on days when I’m not able to write, like the solution is to do some sort of self-pleasure or somatic experience to really like get that creativity up instead of sitting at the desk hoping that something is going to come. Like, huh, [laughs] in another way. Then it’s like tomorrow is going to be great or like later on today.
So I think, yeah, just like turns the volume up on life.
KIM: So the idea, too, of being able to source from within. Even like altered states of consciousness, processing old or even ancestral trauma, and finding these different levels of pleasure and orgasm, and creativity. This idea that all of these things can be sourced from within. Literally within, deep within, vaginally within, and that this is our ultimate power and confidence, and that we all have access to this. So many things are selling the notion of an external source and from a young age, I’ve really been more interested in things that I can cultivate internally. How can I heal myself?
I think because I had a disillusion that with the medical system from a pretty young age, like as a teenager even, thinking, okay, what are the alternatives? And setting upon this path of more holistic healing, healing myself. How do I bring this power and these tools into my own hands with simultaneously having extremely profound sexual experiences. That became one of my biggest tools.
That’s why we’re here today is recognizing, whoa, there’s this huge overlap with all these other healing modalities or creative tools that I’m actually getting from having generating my sexual energy in my body and in my life.
So I love that cultivation of like healing, creating, diving deep within, and opening up to this channel that we all have. And I say that’s one of the biggest psyops that the whole sexual taboo thing creates is somehow that we don’t have access to this massive power, literal power source, creative, procreative source that everybody has that so many people are completely oblivious to and have just dissociated from and given away.
JESSICA: Yeah, totally. Sometimes people will ask me about early stages of dating. And I’m like, put yourself out there as much as you can.
The more honest and open you are about who you are, you can even talk about this work. People will go to a first date and send them my podcast or start talking about this work. Like, “This is what I’m into. This is what I’m looking for,” and it’s a great litmus test. If the person is like, “Oh my god, that sounds amazing, send me the podcast, when can we—let’s get into this,” or “Ew,” or whatever. I don’t know why they’d be like, “Oh, you can have better sex, that sounds gross. I got to go. What time is it?” Then it’s pretty clear.
But the more we do that, yeah, the universe has an easier time bringing to us who is good for us and then we trust when the people fall away who may not be as good for us. So I love all of that.
JESSICA: Yeah, a thousand percent I definitely have sent your podcast to partners and that was definitely like an entry of like, “Just so you know, like this is what I’m into. Be prepared. Learn some things if you need to.” But I totally agree. Like that’s going to be a nonnegotiable for me. Like you know all these things before we go to bed.
KIM: Yeah. Yeah, you’re like, “Okay, so minimum 60 minutes because I’m not getting into bed unless you can bring me your certificate of stamina in good standing.” [Laughs]
JESSICA: [Laughs] Yeah. Love that.
KIM: Amazing. Well, thank you so much. I love hearing this. It’s such an inspiration, like I said, for women who feel that kind of resistance, and this is really the place that we want to highlight of what’s possible and what everyone can be living of being so madly, passionately in love with yourself.
It takes the whole idea of self-love to such a different level, which I think is the ideal level. This is what it really is. If you’re not also—it’s like having a platonic relationship. They’re like, “Oh, we’re such good buddies, we’re such good friends, but we don’t really have sex.” A couple trying to justify their sexless relationship, to me that’s the parallel here of the self-love that you generate through loving and knowing and fucking the shit out of yourself.
The shit meaning the trauma, the demons, the dark areas, and then being reborn. The Phoenix rising up in your true self as self-actualized place. So the sexual piece is huge in self-love. It has to be an integral part.
JESSICA: Yeah. I owe that to you, thank you.
KIM: Amazing. Thank you so much for sharing and letting us into your world, Jessica.
JESSICA: Yeah, thank you, Kim.
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My legendary Well-F**ked Woman salon opens in a few weeks!
This is my 10-week online program where we cover everything from:
- My full Orgasmapedia on how to have all the different orgasms, especially cervical, G-Spot and squirting and anal
- Plus everything you need to know to be a well-f**ked woman, from self-pleasuring 101, to breast massage to lift, tone and enlarge your breasts, to the very best manual and oral pleasuring techniques for your man.
- We go deep into how to embrace being in a female body and how to surrender on a deep level, using your feminine energy to manifest everything you want in your life—from men, to money—so that it feels effortless and like it’s falling into your lap—because your lap it what attracts it!
To signup to be notified of when the salon opens, and take the quiz: “How Underf**ked Are You?”, go to kimanami.com, look for Sexual Savant Salons and click on How to Be a Well-F**ked Woman.
