I often say that the way we show up in bed, is the way we show up in life.
The sexual metaphor is far-reaching and revealing.
Our freedom, our ability to be uninhibited, to express our wildest, deepest, most vulnerable parts in bed reflects in a life which is an expression of our core and unique truth.
Very few people get to this place of sheer, unbridled expression.
By the same token, any unresolved issues in the relationship between a couple will show up in bed.
Argument not processed? Something you are holding back and afraid to share with your partner?
She may not lubricate well, he may ejaculate prematurely.
Or the sex is simply lackluster.
I am forever telling people to clear space, to clear blocks in the relationship.
This leads to gushing vaginas, rock-hard erections and a plethora of orgasms that just keep coming.
The same truths applies to childbirth.
The way we birth is a reflection of two major things:
1) Our relationship with our own sexuality.
2) The relationship with our partner.
Remember what I use as the barometer for great sex?
“If your sex life isn’t rejuvenating, energizing, immensely pleasurable and life-changing, you are doing it wrong.”
When I first heard the term “orgasmic birth,” I thought, ah, that sounds right.
Because the images we’ve all grown up with—screaming, excruciating, painful, i.e. labor, don’t seem right.
They seem like the reflection of a natural process gone wrong.
If you haven’t heard about it, there is an entire movement called “Orgasmic Birth.” It’s based on the idea that not only is birth natural, easy (well, easier than it’s usually depicted as being), but also pleasurable.
In fact, birth can be and ought to be the biggest orgasm of a woman’s life.
Debra Pascali-Bonaro is the director of the documentary, Orgasmic Birth. In it, she profiles the birthing experiences of several couples who go about childbirth in a more natural and organic way.
My favorite spot in the film shows a couple and the woman is clearly in the throes of ecstasy.
For the entire birth.
Birth is a time for a woman to reclaim her inherent power.
She births a baby and she rebirths herself.
The same process that takes you to orgasm, takes you to birth. The same neural pathways are accessed, the same hormones are triggered.
As one of the interview subjects says in the film, the way you make the baby, is the way you’ll get it out!
Much of the work I do is about how to clear the blocks that impede life-changing orgasms.
I’ve said that ALL women are capable of ALL types of orgasms: G-Spot, cervical, anal, and more.
All women are capable of orgasmic birth.
Birth, like orgasm, becomes a barometer to how clear the space is between you and your partner. And as a woman, it shows how clear your relationship is with yourself and your sexuality.
Here’s a YouTube excerpt on Orgasmic Birth in an ABC feature.
This work is for women and men. You both made the baby and you both contribute to getting it out!!
Image: Sam Taylor Wood