Tantric Pregnancy: Sex as Prenatal Care TRANSCRIPT
In today’s episode, we’re talking to Amanda, who is one of our favourite—and most frequent—all stars.
We’ve interviewed her on her journey from NO orgasms, to having G-Spot and cervical orgasms, nipple-gasms, and the biggest orgasms of her life:
Her birth orgasms.
We’re speaking today about her very, very sexual pregnancy and how her libido was not just high, but off-the-charts.
She had a very multi-orgasmic pregnancy.
My experience when I was pregnant was the same.
i was in a space of totally heightened sensuality, where every touch, even a look, would get you gushing wet and having orgasms on the spot.
And that’s just day to day. Not even when I was having sex.
When I was actually “having” sex, they were some of the wildest, most amplified, orgasmic experiences, ever.
I felt like an energetic portal was opening, like we’d tapped into the height of cervical orgasm magic and wisdom, amplified by the fact that my cervix was fulfilling its ultimate purpose as the cosmic gateway between life and death.
I spoke in last week’s episode: All Women Can Have Orgasmic Births about the idea of pregnancy being a massive 9-month foreplay arousal experience, culminating with birth as the climactic orgasm.
Which it is.
How does that compare to women who are suffering and tortured through their pregnancies? So much so that now women are even opting to have their children carried by a surrogate. so as to avoid the experience of being pregnant.
Which would you rather??
Perpetual orgasmic bliss?
Or constant suffering?
Because I assure you, it is a choice.
Let’s hear from Amanda on how she made hers.
**Well-F**ked All Star Amanda**
KIM: Welcome back, Amanda!
AMANDA: Hi! Thank you for having me. What is this, my fifth time?
KIM: Is it really? I’ve lost count. [Laughs]
AMANDA: Yeah. For sure, I am good. [Laughs]
KIM: We’ve got you back today to talk about your multi-orgasmic, off-the-charts libido and Tantric pregnancy, meaning you have had, out of your four pregnancies, three where you were very libidinous and really using sex, as you say, as prenatal care. Tell us all about this and your evolution, because you say that your first pregnancy wasn’t like that. What was the shift that brought you into those spaces for your last three pregnancies?
AMANDA: Yes, I’m currently on my fourth pregnancy, and given what my pregnancies and birth experiences are like, perhaps that’s why I wanted my fourth one.
KIM: Meaning what? Explain for people who may not know. What does that mean?
AMANDA: [Laughs] I just assume people know, but yeah, each of my births, including my first, have been totally, epically orgasmic, painless, and blissful. Certainly much to my surprise with the first one. I don’t have experience with birth any other way. It’s all been complete bliss from the very beginning. Very, very different from all the programming I was raised with. Very different from my own birth. Anything I’ve ever heard, which is, of course, what most of us hear, is pretty traumatic, very painful, and long. It’s like an ordeal for so many women and that’s completely the opposite of my experiences from the very beginning.
KIM: I love that. Essentially what you’re saying is because you had such epic, blissful, orgasmic births, it’s an inspiration to keep doing them. I think you’ve said it’s your most fun thing to do.
AMANDA: It’s my favorite thing to do in the whole world and you can only do it so many times. So I’m not going to keep having children just so I can have the greatest orgasm that there is, but I genuinely do want more children. That’s what’s amazing about sex and the work that you teach. It’s the bridge between the greatest orgasm imaginable in my mind, which is birth.
But again, you can only have so many of those in your lifetimes. Cervical orgasms are second to that, but completely epic.
My first pregnancy definitely was not some epically conscious conception at all. It was very much a surprise, but definitely what I needed in my life. It’s so funny. Even though it wasn’t a conscious conception, my son clearly came to me at a time when he needed to be in my life and completely changed it, transformed it, and initiated me into my life now.
Yeah. During my first pregnancy, my husband and I had been together for about four years at that point. Definitely had gotten into the two-year, sex just goes downhill after that point stage. I was worried, concerned, and confused at that time because my libido completely started to go away. I started to become very disinterested in sex. It started to become painful. I was actively looking for ways to avoid it. I was manifesting UTIs to avoid sex an hour before. Like at 8:00 p.m., I’d get a UTI. It’s insane the way the body speaks to you. Because now I can recognize that as a way of trying to avoid sex or work deeper on myself and our relationship. I just didn’t get it at the time.
So that’s where I was at this time and, oh gosh, we totally conceived—I think it was birthday sex for me. I became pregnant, and it was really scary at first. We weren’t sure if it was something we wanted to do, but then very soon I realized, yes, I absolutely had to have this baby. I am very happy to be here and really changed myself so much. At that stage of my life, I’d been going down a health rabbit hole in general, learning a lot about the corruption in Western medicine. I had already been making all my own food myself.
So I was aware of the corruption in the system overall and also definitely knew about home birth and water birth and just intuitively thought, “That makes so much more sense. I’m not going to give birth under fluorescent lighting with a bunch of people.”
My own birth story is very traumatic, and I thought, why am I going to potentially walk into the same situation when staying at home just feels so much safer?
And that was a really huge thing in my family. Because nobody had ever done it before. I never knew anyone who had given birth at home before, but it was a no-brainer for me. I made that decision, and like I said, it was kind of controversial at the time. In my friend group, my workplace, my family, everyone said, “Why are you doing this? This is weird. Are you sure you want to do this?” Like they knew how to do it better in the hospital. So that was fun.
I was very assertive and advocated for myself in a way I never had before in my life to do this home birth. I also was very disconnected from myself at the same time. I hired a midwife, and I was very much looking to her to be an authority and kind of legitimize my decision.
I wasn’t doing a whole lot of internal work. It’s funny because, at the same time, I loved being pregnant. I clearly was witnessing the magic of my body and growing this baby, learning to trust myself so much more deeply. But at the same time, I had no connection to my body. My sex life didn’t get better. I don’t even know. I could probably count on one hand how many times we had sex during my first pregnancy. Definitely zero self-pleasuring.
At that point in my life, I thought I was one of those women who just didn’t like it. Some women do, some women don’t, so that was not even a thing in my mind at all. No connection to my breasts. Yeah, sex was very chore-like, and I felt bad because there would be such a long spurt in between. But I just didn’t want to do that.
The interesting thing is that my birth ended up being completely painless and ecstatic and orgasmic. I think that this way of birth is completely natural and innate to women. Ideally, you’re sexually connected to yourself.
But what I learned in that birth is what I was able to later transfer to doing your work, which was surrender. In birth I learned how to surrender in the moment and really fall in love with the process. I was just amazed by what my body was doing, being in a completely undisturbed environment. Which I was. My midwife made it to the final inning. She barely made it. I did 99% of my labor by myself and then she made it at the last minute and my son was born.
Yeah, so it was interesting to have been disconnected but then to have learned that connection literally in the moment of birth. After giving birth that first time, I was totally confused. I said what did my vagina just do? I had never felt anything like that in any sex I’d ever had. Self-pleasuring was just not a part of my life at all. I said, how could I do this ever again? Was that it? If I can’t access this in sex, did I just have a random fluke, like an amazing orgasmic birth? It was so confusing to me.
But it was also so beautiful and inspirational because I said, “Oh my God, I guess this is possible.” Then it was maybe another 18 months to two years before I discovered your work. After giving birth, the whole sex life thing did not improve. It was terrible. I actually got worse because I was so confused, and I felt even more fractured. Even though I had an incredible birth, it just felt like this singular experience that I didn’t know how to get back to.
There were so many ways that I felt more powerful in my life and within myself, but the sexual piece was really missing for me, and I still really didn’t understand how to deeply connect with my husband at all.
We definitely got into a rock-bottom-type place in our relationship and sex was not happening at all, or very, very infrequently. The way that you spoke about sex said exactly how I felt in my first birth. I said, “Oh! Okay! I can! I can get back to this. Somehow I can make this a regular thing. It doesn’t have to be an isolated experience for me.”
Yeah, in between my first and second pregnancy was when I discovered your work. I took the Well-F**ked Woman first and it seismically shifted my whole life. Completely. I went from never ever having an orgasm besides birth in my entire life. The whole time my husband and I were together, I had never had an orgasm, including clitoral.
Then I went to Well-F**ked Woman, and because I learned, I think, how to surrender so massively in birth, what you teach in your work is that surrender is the key to these deeper orgasms. I was so grateful to have had that experience because it transferred over. It was within the length of the salon, which is eight weeks, that I was able to experience my first vaginal G-spot orgasm. Cervical orgasms took a little bit longer, but I kept up with all this work, being very, very dedicated. It was another six months that I was able to experience that.
But yeah, like I said, I just completely shifted my life and was able to tap back into what I had experienced in birth, and it totally changed my relationship. I was finally able to learn how to communicate with my husband and we’ve been having incredible sex ever since then. It was about four or five years into our relationship when the sex became epic.
As I mentioned, my first pregnancy felt very externalized. I was really fighting for my choice and having to advocate for myself, and it was exhausting.
The second pregnancy, I said, “Fuck all of that, basically. [Laughs] I’m going to go really, really internal,” and I just self-pleasured and had sex all the time. Sex was my prenatal care. I actually did hire the same midwife, but it was so funny, I never had any questions for her. She was kind of a lifeline to the natural birth community at the time. I didn’t really have any friends who were interested in it. This was before the whole internet world exploded with connection in that way. That’s why I brought her back into my life.
But I didn’t bother to surround myself with people who weren’t on the same page, and I just went really, really, really deep within. It’s so funny. I kind of laugh at all the things that people think are prenatal care when it’s really just living your life. For me, sex was a massive, massive part of that because that’s how you stay in that frequency and ability to surrender. Which is, of course, just as important in birth as it is in sex and so many other areas of life.
Going into my second birth, I can definitely say I experienced a lot of mental fighting with myself. Even though I had the birth experience that I did, I said, “Can this actually happen again? Is it possible to have another orgasmic birth?”
It wasn’t forcing myself to self-pleasure or have sex to force an orgasmic birth experience. It was just true. I was so in my body, so able to experience these orgasms and just forget the world around me and surrender that it happened naturally.
And as I’ve since learned, that’s really the key. And I’ve been able to do it every single time.
KIM: When you say it happened naturally, your libido just felt very high? You weren’t consciously thinking, “Sex is a great thing to do during pregnancy”? Maybe on some level you were, but you were just feeling very libidinous.
AMANDA: Yeah. Totally insane. I had started the Well-F**ked Woman work before I became pregnant and then I did VKF as well and was so in my body already. My natural libido—which you’re always saying is within us—had already been unleashed. Then when I became pregnant, it just expanded even further.
Yeah, it’s funny. Now that I have been doing this work, it’s been unleashed. I do have a libido. But it does get extra during pregnancy. It’s the most potent portal there is in a woman’s life. I just feel it’s natural that your libido, your life force, your sexual energy, would be extremely high if you’re really connected to yourself, to your body, to the entire process of birthing life.
I was really blown away by the difference between the second time and the first. I had these experiences—and this is what I’m also experiencing now—when my breasts wake me up in the middle of the night because they want to be touched.
Same thing with my vagina. Like you talk about, it’s a sentient being. It has its own consciousness. It wakes me up to do all this stuff. It’s incredible. It’s so beautiful, and I definitely never thought that was something I would ever experience. But that’s what is just natural if you’re in that flow already and have done the work.
KIM: I love that. When you talk about sex being your prenatal care—I love what you said about the frequency of surrender, staying in tune with that as the best preparation for birth. Because it is the same process, this really high, deep level of surrender.
What else would you say that being within that sexual flow and energy did for you as prenatal care, preparing you for birth and opening you to that experience? What were the other benefits you felt?
AMANDA: I would say kind of what I was touching on earlier, being able to go inside as opposed to outside.
KIM: Right. When you talked about seeking out the midwife, I can see how people would think, “Okay, I go to the midwife, which is the alternative structure, and I do what I’m told there,” but it’s still a very external orientation. Right?
AMANDA: Very much.
KIM: Like listening to a better class of authority than, say, an OB/GYN, but still looking to them as the guide, “Okay, what do I do here? What do I expect here?” rather than doing what I teach in my work. We talk about how, in this whole world of free birthing, you are your own authority. Your body is your own authority.
I would say then within this conversation, you as a sexual being are the ultimate authority because of the wisdom, the intuitive flow, and that sense of surrender. I always talk about the parallels between spiritual and sexual surrender. They’re really one and the same. This sense of opening up to a greater power, a greater energy within ourselves or the universe at large, and becoming a channel for that so the little parts of us step aside. It’s the exact same process.
AMANDA: Yeah. 100%. I totally agree. In my second pregnancy, I had a massive consciousness shift. I learned to trust myself so deeply in my first pregnancy. But in my second one, it was a massive—oh gosh, how to describe it? It was a reality-shattering time because I was letting go of parts that still had a connection to external forces of authority.
All of us have grown up in this Western allopathic world, and we all have little things in our mind that bring us back now and again that we have to continually release. My second pregnancy was a massive time of letting go of my ties with that world.
It was kind of a challenge for me because I hired my midwife almost immediately upon becoming pregnant, which I wish I hadn’t done. I do love her. I really do. As far as midwives go, she’s so hands-off and very consent-based. But even a subtle authority over yourself is pretty suffocating, and you don’t realize that until you go another way, which is what I’ve since done. This is my second wild pregnancy, which is literally zero hired care of any kind. There’s nothing in midwifery or an OB/GYN at all.
In my second pregnancy, I hired her, but through doing all of the sexual work and being really within myself, I said, “Why did I hire her? I don’t understand. I have nothing to ask her, nothing to go to her for. She can’t make me feel the same trust in my body. I’m connected to God and the universe, which cervical orgasms help me feel. She can’t give me that. Oh my God, why did I hire her?”
That was the big struggle for me because that was when I discovered free birth and I said, “Oh my gosh, I wish I had gone that way instead.” That was on me. I could’ve fired her, and I didn’t. That’s a huge lesson for me and it’s why my last two pregnancies have been without any care whatsoever.
But yeah, it was so interesting in my second birth with my daughter compared to the first. I started to teeter and was experiencing pain, and it was because of that very subtle frequency of having someone in my sphere who was an “authority.” She wasn’t doing anything to me; she wasn’t asking me questions. She was in another room. But it was just her presence making me feel uncomfortable. I want to be in the wilderness by myself. I don’t want to ever have anyone with me again. I don’t need them. They don’t need to be with me. I can do this by myself. It’s disconnecting me to have somebody in my sphere when this is something that’s so internal and I’m feeling high. I don’t want anyone near me, basically.
I feel like I’ve really mastered the ability to surrender through this sexual work. Surrender is a way of life. It’s something I can tap into easily, even in times of stress.
There were times where I knew I could’ve gone over to the side of pain, but I didn’t because I was able to completely let it go and I did accept my decision at the time. I said, “You know what? This is what I’ve done. It’s okay. If she does come in to do anything, I’ll push her away for now, but I’m here. I’m going to do this thing.”
I had an epic, orgasmic birth again and the sensations turned from teetering—I wouldn’t even say they ever went fully into pain, but I could see that they were kind of on their way. They transformed, and they became powerful without pain. I loved the feeling of them. To me, they feel really blissful, and I know that it’s the brilliance of our bodies working. I don’t fear it at all.
That was my initiation into taking complete, full self-responsibility for my birth experiences and being really clear. I said, “I don’t need this ever again.” It just cut the last little mental ties I had to that world. It’s interesting when I think of why I even hired her to begin with. I just didn’t, at the time, have the courage to fire her. Now, I would never even enter the world of an OB/GYN or a doctor. Not even midwifery. I’m good.
KIM: I think there’s also a connection with the idea that I talk about being one of the hallmarks of a Well-F**ked Woman. When a woman’s really arrived into that energy of self-possession, she doesn’t give a fuck what other people think about her. She becomes very clear about herself and her own autonomy, her own authority, her own opinions, because she’s lost this veneer of giving a shit what anybody else thinks.
It is in there for everyone, but now it can come out unobstructed because nothing’s blocking it. All these other self-censoring things that we allow to attach to us just fade away and we’re left with our own truth and our own direction in life.
AMANDA: Totally. Because that’s the next level that I had to embody going into my third pregnancy. Because that was when I didn’t hire anyone at all. It was just me from the very beginning. I never even took a pregnancy test. My prenatal care was sex, self-pleasuring, being with like-minded women, eating all the foods that I like. It cracks me up what we have constructed as being prenatal care, all these things that you’re supposed to do, when it’s literally just living your normal life. There’s nothing else to do.
And so this third time was the next level of embodiment for me because I had to tell everyone that I was not going to see anyone at all. I was actually more insulated. I insulated myself and didn’t want to invite any kind of energy that was unwanted or that would be questioning in any way.
I was so comfortable doing that. That was a boundary I have always struggled with making with my family or friends that I’m not totally aligned with anymore. I was not compelled in any way to tell people that I was pregnant or how I was doing it. When it did come up, it was very casual. “Oh yeah, it’s just going to be me and my husband this time, not a big deal.” Then people said, “What do you mean? Who is going to be there though? Who is going to deliver the baby?” All these silly questions.
KIM: “Well, my two other kids are going to be there, and my husband is going to be there. We’ve got some kittens in the house; they’ll probably be running around.”
AMANDA: Me, the mother who is giving birth to the baby coming out of my vagina, which I can reach physically with my hands. Maybe me? It’s insane how trapped people are in their minds when they ask these questions. Once you get to this place, you realize how silly they are, even though these are the questions that everyone grows up wondering. Who’s going to deliver the baby? Who’s going to save the mother from this experience? That’s what it feels like.
Once you get to this place of realizing “I don’t need anything whatsoever besides myself,” it’s just laughable. All the questions feel so ignorant. That was just the next level of self-advocacy that I had to make, but it didn’t come from a place of fighting for myself anymore. It was just something where I said, “Yeah, this is what I’m doing. This is what I’m doing.” Not a big deal. Didn’t have to explain myself in any way. Whereas previously, I definitely felt the need to explain what I was doing. And it’s because I didn’t have the same level of internal resourcing and strength and belief in myself.
Now it’s my fourth time [laughs], and they just say, “Oh, she’s just doing her thing.” Nobody cares at all. I got questions during number one, two, and three, but now everyone says, “Oh, I don’t give a fuck because she’s just doing her thing.”
It’s been such a beautiful, beautiful journey to keep cutting those ties and be where I am now in complete and utter belief in myself. It’s astounding to me that I even had to do that work in the first place. This shit where I am now should be the natural place where every woman is.
It’s mind-blowing to me that I had to do so much to get here, but I am so grateful. And there’s such an epic revolution right now happening of women reclaiming this and feeling they can do this on a deep cellular level. It’s really beautiful to see. I’m so excited. Giving birth literally is my favorite thing to do and I can’t wait until this fourth time. It’s so funny—I always say I could give birth at any moment. Of course, I don’t want to give birth before the time—right now, I’m only four months along—but you know what I mean. It’s just that mindset.
That’s the surrender that I’ve learned. I can surrender to my circumstances. Whatever is happening, I can sink into that moment. That’s what all the work that I’ve done with you has helped me to accomplish. Just to be in that frequency of surrender.
KIM: Can you speak more to that and what it means sexually for you? We’ve talked about the frequency of sex, the power of cervical orgasms, the relationship of surrender, but specifically, sexually, what does that look and feel like for you?
AMANDA: I can’t help but relate birth to everything and just knowing what it’s like to give birth—it’s so similar to sex. Because when you’re in labor, you don’t really know what’s going to happen. There’s an unknown there.
It’s exactly the same as sex. You’re in this really powerful, charged experience. You’re connected with your partner, whereas in birth, you’re connected with your baby. It could be really scary because you don’t know what’s on the other side. Leading up to a cervical orgasm can be scary sometimes because it just feels so massively charged. You don’t know what sounds are going to come out of you or what memories you might get. You might cry. The recent ones I’ve had have been the most insane catharsis I’ve ever felt. You don’t even know what you’re going to let go of, but you can feel that it’s huge.
And so leading up to that, you have to trust that your body knows what it’s doing and that it’s going to get rid of something that you really need or initiate you into a higher level of bliss and love. That’s really scary to receive for a lot of people, and it has been for me too. I’ve had a lot of intimacy issues for sure. Allowing my husband to bring me to these places has been very, very hard in many ways.
I had an intimacy block. I would even say my heart has been closed in many ways, and so doing this, it’s just that risk of vulnerability. You have to trust that going on that other side, you’re actually going to be initiated into a higher level of love, which I think is what the challenge is. It’s just the difficulty in accepting that you could be loved and accepted on this level.
It’s really the same with birth, in my opinion. Are you going to allow a bigger life force to move through you or are you going to block it and be afraid of it and shut yourself down?
I consciously tell myself to let go and relax. Because you can feel where you’re holding back, resisting a contraction and making it a lot worse by doing that as opposed to sinking into it and allowing it to move through you instead.
KIM: I love that. That’s really beautifully described. And how would you describe your day-to-day interactions with your husband and with yourself? What does it look like to feel you have an off-the-charts libido during your pregnancy? How often are things happening? How long are they happening for?
AMANDA: It feels like what you talk about, being available anytime, anywhere, and it’s like what I said, that I could give birth anytime. I could have sex anytime. It feels like that. It’s absolutely constant, gushing wetness.
It feels beyond me. As I was saying earlier, my breasts and my vagina have their own schedule of when they want to do things. [Laughs] Sometimes I have to get things done, but they’re way louder than me, so I have to stop.
I have three kids right now, so it’s not like I can actually just stop at any moment and do these things, but sometimes, I actually will close the door and do what I need to do.
What else? Gosh, my husband is incredible about worshiping my body. Every time we have sex, he usually gives me a full-body massage for close to an hour. Then after that, we have sex for another hour.
And I’m self-pleasuring a lot. I’m even being woken up in the middle of the night. My husband works late, so sometimes he’s not there and I have to do my own thing. People always talk about if you wake up at 2:00 or 3:00 a.m., it’s bad. But I’m waking up and self-pleasuring for two hours almost every day. Because I’m literally being woken up and feeling like I need to do that.
My husband takes this work very seriously to improve his skills and to take serious time to get to know, open, and worship my body. I don’t even have the need to get massages elsewhere, honestly. Every time we have sex, pretty much, we open with a full-body massage that’s at least 45 minutes long. He loves it.
So that, of course, makes me feel incredibly loved and open. Then after that is another hour or so of sex. Then sometimes, another time.
KIM: So you’d say you’re having sexual experiences every day?
AMANDA: Almost every day. That simmer that you talk about is there and I’m connected. I’m ready. I’m in that surrender. I could do any of that. I’d probably do it more often if I didn’t have three children.
KIM: [Laughs] Right. I just want to point out to people that you have three children, you work, you have a husband, you’re pregnant, and you’re still having sex or self-pleasuring nearly every day, and sometimes for hours at a time.
AMANDA: Absolutely. This is the difference in what you teach—if you’re doing it the way that we’re meant to, it’s energizing. It’s not draining. It’s not just a quickie or just one cervical orgasm or whatever. It’s just so deeply replenishing.
My body is stopping me to tell me that I need to do that because it’s craving it. My vagina will just start pulsing or my breasts need to be touched or whatever. Yeah, it’s been incredible to experience something I didn’t even know was possible, which was so opposite of my life experience before discovering your work.
And I’ve been practicing it for about six years now. Yeah, a six-year journey of living this Anami lifestyle.
KIM: You mentioned that your libido has been amplified during pregnancy. Obviously, you’ve been doing all this work, as you say, for six years, so there’s been this uplevel in your sexuality and your intimate relationship.
But you actually feel even more amplified sexually during pregnancy. Correct?
AMANDA: Yeah. I would definitely say that. It kicked in these past three pregnancies. It kicks in almost immediately. You’re growing another life. I feel it’s just extra life force. It’s so much more amplified. I can’t think of another way to describe it. The pleasure feels more, the lubrication. Everything is so much more sensitive. It’s just that swelling of being full of life. That’s the only reason or connection that I can think of. If somebody wants to talk about hormones or whatever, to me, that’s the reason.
Once you make that connection in between life force energy and sexual energy, it only makes sense that being pregnant, you have more, and you’re this portal that is so open to receiving life and then are going to give life.
But it’s already amazing, non-pregnant times. My libido is really high. I’ve gotten to the point where it’s very easy for me to surrender and experience cervical orgasms. The pleasure is already really, really high normally, but it’s even more when I’m pregnant, which is so beautiful to experience.
KIM: I love how you said that. Is there anything else that you want to add?
KIM: I love how you were describing feeling you have this sadness that needs to come out and you cry and let it out and you don’t even know what it is. It reminds me so much of the cervical orgasm releases when there’s something that’s big and stuck. You can cry and fuck it out of you and don’t even know, most of the time, what it’s related to. You can just feel it needs to come out and be released. It’s so amazing if you just follow and trust that pathway.
AMANDA: Do not look at the work as something to force upon yourself. “I’m going to make myself self-pleasure every day to equal an orgasmic birth.” That’s not really how it works. Whether it’s sex, birth, self-pleasuring, whatever, you have to actually be in the moment and completely present with it. You can’t force that stuff.
AMANDA: There’s something I feel I need to be clear about. Even with the experiences that I’ve had, these totally orgasmic pregnancies and births, it’s not as though the entirety of the pregnancy is just all unicorns and rainbows and I’m feeling on top of the world at every moment. It’s not always like that. In every pregnancy, all of us have a lot of our own stored traumas and programming to work on.
I’m not an exception to that, and that’s part of the point that I want to make, is that by doing this sexual work and learning how to surrender, you’re also working on a lot of these really challenging things. And it’s very unique to each of us. We all have our own things to work through in our pregnancies.
Just as an example, this one that I’m in right now is wonderful. I absolutely love it. I love being pregnant. I feel very connected to my baby and all that, but I’ve never cried more than I have now in my entire life. I can just start crying at any moment.
It feels like things are being released from whatever, my unconscious. It’s just being released during this time. Sometimes it feels really, really heavy. I don’t know what it is, but that’s part of the beauty, you don’t need to know what it is. It’s just coming out of you.
It’s not like I’m going through this massive hardship in my life, but yeah, there are things that are coming up that are very painful for me and I’m crying them out.
I’ve been talking about self-pleasuring or having sex in the middle of the night. Just the other night, I woke up at 2:00 a.m. and I was bawling. I felt so sad about nothing that I could really specifically link it to.
But at the same time, I was insanely turned on. So I self-pleasured for an hour. I used my Seva, which is my favorite, I don’t even use the other ones. I just go straight to Seva. Crying and self-pleasuring, incredible catharsis, and I felt like I was purging whatever it was that needed to be purged and I felt so cleansed after. Totally had an incredible cervical orgasm as a result and I cried a lot more after that too. But it felt amazing.
I just want to make it clear that you can have these kinds of pregnancies, these kinds of births, but you’re definitely still working on whatever it is within you that needs to be released. I’ve done that in all my pregnancies. This one has been the most intense when it comes to dealing with whatever stuff.
Again, that’s actually a part of it. I can’t really link it to anything. It just feels like a lot of stuff from my past is being released at this time. I’m just trusting my body to let go of what needs to be let go, just as you do in a cervical orgasm. Just as you do in a birth, which is so beautiful. Because you can trust your body to do that. It’ll release whatever needs to go.
Yeah, again, I just want to make that very clear. It’s not as though it’s just this perfect, blissful experience every single moment. There’s definitely pain that comes up, but this is the best portal, in my opinion, to let go of that stuff for good and to be completely reborn.
I really wish there was a visual or something. I wish I could see what gets released from the body or from a cervical orgasm. Where does it go? It’s gone after and you feel like a completely different person, but yeah. I just love thinking about the visual of the stuff leaving. What color is it? What texture? I don’t know. But you just know that it’s gone, and you do feel like a different person.
That’s another thing—you can really look at this work as being such a powerful ally for whatever challenges you’re going to come up against in your pregnancy. Of course, in life overall, but definitely during pregnancy. Because we all have our own stuff to deal with.
I think sex is untapped prenatal care for women. It’s really one of the best ways to connect yourself to the feeling of birth before you even experience it. I think it’s so potent for women no matter what pregnancy they might be on, but for women who are on their first, gosh, I wish I had known. Women are always so concerned because they think, “I have no idea what birth feels like. I’m terrified.”
Go have a cervical orgasm. That’s the next closest experience that you could possibly have. I think we talked about this in the last interview—people want to do plant medicine to access these other dimensions and learn what being open to the universe might feel like. Well, you already have that literally in your body. You can tap into it every single day of your life. Go straight to the source instead and you will be able to get a glimpse of what birth feels like. The only thing you actually need to learn about how to give birth is to surrender. You will make all the intuitive decisions you need to be in that state and this is the best way. Nothing else really teaches you how to surrender on that level.
KIM: Fantastic. Awesome as usual. [Laughs] We’re five for five, or six for six, or whatever it is.
AMANDA: Something. [Laughs] Who even knows? Thank you so much for giving me the opportunity. It’s so important for me to talk about this stuff and just show another way of being. It’s not a fluke, obviously. I’m on my fourth one at this stage. It’s something that you can do, so I appreciate the opportunity to speak about it.
KIM: Well, thank you so much for sharing.
Amazing, isn’t she?
Let’s be clear, that Amanda’s experiences are the result of what she’s referred to several times during our conversation, as “doing the work”.
So what is this mysterious “work”?
It’s the process of clearing the blocks that prevent you from realizing the true potential that we all have — this is the Anami Guarantee — that all women, and all people can, to tap into the innate knowledge and pleasure that is our birthright.
“The work” is then committing to and implementing new ways of being, new techniques to get to the core of your own truth and who you really are.
This is the crux of everything that we do in my salons.
A feng shui clearing of your life, your psyche, your body and your bed.
Remove the debris and clutter, much of what isn’t even yours to begin with, so that the true you can emerge.
You can do this in all of my salons.
All of the sexual work on you and your relationship to your own body and your partner is the most essential birth prep.
And, to take that all even further, I created my Sexy Mama Salon.
I’m extremely passionate about women—and men—liberating themselves from the fear and violence based allopathic medical surgical birthing apparatus and instead being able to experience the most transcendent moments of their lives in birthing their children through their own power.
In my the 8-week online Sexy Mama Salon, I arm you with all of the facts and energetic awareness to take you there.
Full of meticulous research and the most cutting edge quantum techniques to give you the confidence to birth through your own power.
You don’t have to be committed to home birth to take the salon.
Many women end up choosing that route though, once they see that it’s actually the safest option—yes, even statistically speaking.
In the salon, we cover everything from preconception, to blissful pregnancy, how to create an orgasmic birth and empowered postpartum and early childhood.
All of the alternative and most cutting-edge ideas I know of that I used in my own pregnancy and birth, and much more that I’ve learned since.
The salon is open for registration now. This may be the last time we run this salon live, so if you are keen, now is the time!
You don’t even have to be pregnant to take the salon. IF you know you want to have children in the future, this is your ultimate compendium of all you need to know.
And, you have lifetime access to it.
Go to kimanami.com, look for Sexual Savant Salons and click on Sexy Mama to signup.