How High Are the Stakes for You?
As I watch people approach their growth with different levels of commitment, I always wonder what makes people change?
The stakes have to be high enough.
If they aren’t, you’ll float through with the status quo.
How do you raise the stakes?
Tell the truth.
We often avoid telling the truth, which in turn avoids raising the stakes.
Which keeps us stuck where we are.
The truth might be:
“I’m not sure I want to be married to you anymore.”
“I haven’t really forgiven you yet.”
“I fantasize about being with other people. A lot.”
Until you tell the truth, the one that you are afraid of disrupting your life, change cannot happen.
I see over and over again how people avoid telling the truth and never move forward.
Then I see how someone has the guts to tell the truth, and how everything gets better.
Yes, there will likely be a period when you don’t know which way is up. You don’t know what the outcome will be. You will have to live with uncertainty.
I can almost guarantee that.
But if you stay loyal to the truth, you will find your way through it.
I watched a couple recently go through a separation.
He told the truth: despite having young children, he had reached the end of their marriage. He wanted out.
She was devastated. She accepted his decision but also began doing work on herself.
The impetus of truth for both of them was a catalyst for change.
He got clear. She got clear.
In the end, they reconciled. They are now happier than they have been in ten years.
But they wouldn’t have gotten there if each of them wasn’t willing to tell and act on their truth.
If they both didn’t have the COURAGE to tell and act.
Yes, the truth will set you free.
It’s your courage that will take you there.