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Are You Lovers or Roommates? Take this Quiz!!

Is your relationship a social and economic union? Where you function as buddies and partners? Or is it an achingly raw, vulnerable, passionate way of life?

People love to rationalize that sex isn’t such an important part of their relationship.

They explain, with an air of maturity, that they are such AMAZING partners and work really well together at the “business” of raising a family and running a household.

Good for you.

The rest of us are looking for heart-shattering, soul-renewing, cosmic connection.

When you have that, all the day-to-day effluvia and admin of running a life, family, business and relationship become effortless and imbued with the Midas touch.

I assert that is the true purpose of relationships is to self-realize. To take us to wilder, wider, more incredible places in ourselves.

And if it isn’t doing that—feeding you—it’s a drain on you.

Take the quiz and find out where you fall on the spectrum of “buddies” vs. lovers.


1) When your partner walks in the house after a day at work: 

A. You meet them at the door, lunge at them, grab them on the ass, have a wet kiss and a little make-out session.

B. Without looking up from your fave TV show or magazine or whatever else you are doing, you mumble: “Hi honey.”

C. You quickly put away the porn you were jerking off to.

2) How often do you have sex? 

A. Between three times a week to every day.

B. Somewhere between every two weeks and every two years.

C. We don’t have sex. Why are you asking me that? God!! There are so many more important things in a marriage besides sex. The whole world is perverted.

3) Do you consider yourselves to have an equal partnership? 

A. We’ve deliberately cultivated some “inequality”. We understand that masculine and feminine energies show up differently and we use that polarity to create sexual chemistry. We play with power and control dynamics. Especially in bed.

B. He’s better at some things and vice versa.

C. We are both card-carrying feminists who went to four-year liberal arts colleges and we share and do everything equally. Nothing non-PC ever takes place in our home or relationship. #equalitymanbunsandpantsuitsforever

4) When you do have sex, how is it initiated? 

A. I drop to my knees and open up his pants, looking up in adoration. I pin her arms above her head, slam her into the wall and growl into her neck.

B. We set a reminder to let us know when to. We’ve been trying to have a baby lately, so it has to be during that window.

C. Umm….

5) What happens after you have sex?

A. We get up, energized, rejuvenated, connected and ready to take on the day. We both feel loved and cherished. 

B. One, or both of us, pass out and go to sleep. 

C. I get angry at him for coming too quickly and punish him for the next two days. 

6) How long does sex last? Liken it to a movie title. 

A. “From Here to Eternity”

B. “15 Minutes”

C. “Gone In 60 Seconds”

7) How would you describe communication between you? 

A. We like to keep a clean slate and are pretty good at expressing things as they come up. 

B. Some things are easier to talk about than others. We mostly live by the tenets  “white lies are the best for all involved” and “don’t ask, don’t tell”. 

C. One of us usually storms off, or shuts down. There are many areas that need resolution within our relationship. 

8) Women, describe your orgasms: 

A. Mind-blowing, life-changing, ejaculate shooting, God-seeing, shaking and thrashing works of art. My vagina is my oracle and she speaks loudly. So loudly that our neighbours are well-acquainted with her. 

B. I can get off by stimulating my clitoris during intercourse. No vaginal orgasms though. 

C. Stop trying to shame me! It’s not that important to have orgasms, okay? 

9) Men, what food best describes your erections: 

A. The bone part of a T-bone steak 

B. Al dente pasta 

C. Jello 

10) Women, how do you like to seduce your partner? 

A. I put on new lingerie—bra, panties, garters, stockings, heels—the whole nine yards—and surprise him at the front door, and then perform a striptease and lap dance for him, not letting him touch me until he’s going insane 

B. By turning over and telling him how tired I am when he tries to initiate sex 

C. I nag him and wear baggy, unwashed sweats and hope he doesn’t ever touch me 


Mostly A = Lovers. Weak in the knees, can’t keep their hands off each other, open-hearted, their relationship fuels their life.

Mostly B =  A slow road to perdition.

Mostly C =  Roommates: Will be losing sexual and other organs due to mysterious “ailments” and lack of use. You are operating at a deficiency in your overall life because you are not tapping into the magnificent power of passionate, sexual love.



Check out the Coming Together FREE video series to learn more about making the transition from buddies to wild, passionate lovers:


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