Don’t Do Your F**king Kegels!
“Women! Do your Kegels!”
How many times, and in how many women’s magazines, have you heard this misguided advice on how to strengthen your pelvic floor?
The problem is, Kegels are useless.
At least they are in the form they are given to modern women.
First, why would you even want to have a strong vagina and pelvic floor?
Because you’ll be able to:
• Achieve vaginal orgasms—yes, every woman can. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
• Ejaculate across the room—again, every woman can.
• Increase your libido.
• Give your male partner better orgasms.
• Prevent and eliminate urinary incontinence.
• Lubricate profusely, even after menopause.
• Be a sexual powerhouse and well-f**ked woman.
All that with a mighty vagina.
Now let’s clarify: What is an actual Kegel exercise?
In 1947, OBGYN Dr. Arnold Kegel designed a series of exercises to strengthen the pelvic floors of women.
The main purpose at the time was to prevent urinary incontinence.
He was extremely successful in his work. In fact, he managed to eliminate urinary incontinence in 93% of his patients.
He did this by inserting a device inside the vagina called a Kegel perineometer. A woman would contract and isolate different areas of the pelvic floor muscles and vaginal canal.
The device strengthened these areas by providing two very important elements:
Here’s the problem.
When other doctors began adapting his work, they left out the most important feature: the use of a device inside the vagina.
Yes, folks, they told women to simply flap their vaginas randomly in the wind.
This is what women are told is a “Kegel exercise.”
This is the equivalent to me going to the gym, staring at the weight rack, and waving my arms and legs wildly in the air. Then I wipe the imaginary sweat off my brow, congratulate myself on a “Great workout!” and go home.
Any weightlifter will tell you that.
Do you even lift, sis?
Nope. Not one ounce.
After the “adapted Kegel” was put into play, the success rate immediately dropped by 50%.
And it’s been tanking ever since.
This is why you—and 50% of women you know—have some kind of pelvic floor disorder.
The current stats are shocking.
According to the Yale University School of Medicine, up to 60% of women have urinary incontinence issues—meaning they involuntarily leak urine when coughing, exercising or laughing—and 50% of women experience some kind of pelvic organ prolapse (POP, i.e. like their vagina falling out—yes, this is really a thing) after childbirth.
Yet somehow, this is considered normal.
I was being interviewed by woman recently and she said to me that ever since she birthed her son eight years ago, she’d had issues with urinary incontinence.
Her: “But I don’t feel bad about it because I know that’s normal.”
Me: “Hey! Hang on a second! That’s not normal. That’s become normalized, but it’s not normal.”
Women peeing their pants all day and having their vaginas fall out is not normal.
My argument is that what ought to be normal, what ought to be the global baseline, is vaginas that can shoot ping-pong balls, open beer bottles and smoke cigarettes.
That is normal.
And achievable for every vagina on the planet.
She stood corrected.
Yes, it is every woman’s God-given right to be able to shoot darts and to accurately hit a target, with and from her vagina.
Kegel had it right the first time—you need to be practicing with feedback and resistance.
The ancient Taoists had it right 5000 years ago with their vaginal weight training regimens.
Women inserted a stone, jade egg into the vagina, threaded it and suspended weights from it.
This method creates an articulate, sensitive and strong vagina.
This is what I use to lift various pieces of furniture and tropical fruit.
This is what I teach in my Vaginal Kung Fu class.
This is also the method that the Guinness World Record holder for vaginal weightlifting uses. She was inspired by the Taoist practiced and now can lift an amazing 31 pounds or 14 kg with her vagina.
Me, I’m up to a coconut.
And a Venetian chandelier.
So I can shine my vaginal light on this Kegel ignorance.
My light’o’vagina is coming to save you.
If you want to learn how to get a turbo-charged, highly sensitive and orgasmic vagina, check out my free video series.
The Vaginal Kung Fu salon is open for registration.
It’s my most popular, sought-after course.
Because who doesn’t want a super-powered vagina?
**The above image is me in Piazza San Marco in Venice, Italy, liftiing a beautiful Murano glass chandelier.
With my vagina.
For more tales of me and my doesn’t-do-Kegels-but-something-much-better-vagina, follow me on Instagram.