She Comes First (dudes, listen up!)
There are few sexual adages which go the distance. But “she comes first” is one of them.
As a rule of thumb (or two fingers, as is the golden rule for her G-Spot) in the land of female orgasms, you can’t go wrong with this one.
As a man, stamina building is a crucial part of your sensual development; both sexually, in your ability to hold off and climax by choice; and emotionally, in your ability to sustain deep, probing conversations.
The more that you can go the distance and continually prove your ability to hold strong, the deeper your woman’s trust in you grows.
If she feels that you will stumble at the slightest provocation, she trusts you less. Her ability to let go with you diminishes.
That provocation might be her ass in a particularly stunning sexual position, which causes you to ejaculate on a moment’s notice.
It might be her emotional turbulence (usually a sign of being underf#@ked) which throws you off your centre.
Your woman is incredibly sensitive to the fluctuations in your presence. If you “check out” by bailing out of the sex act too soon, or retreating during a passionate conversation, she will also withdraw.
Her withdrawal will eventually manifest as nagging, complaining, and resistance to having sex with you.
We all need a place to surrender, to let go, to free up all the wild, crazy, unexpressed stuff we normally keep hidden.
Your bed and your relationship are the perfect places to unleash. They have to be “all access” zones. Meaning, everything is acceptable, and no judgment is allowed.
Screams, laughter, tears—are all the unburdening of hysteria.
As a man, you want to continually reinforce your ability to handle whatever your woman throws at you. You need to be able to “catch” her when she falls.
Your orgasmic threshold is a huge key to this.
If you haven’t mastered it yet, get to work/play.
I’m going to be running an online salon for men, in the same vein as How to Be a Well-F@#ked Woman, and Coming Together: Lifelong Passionate Sex for Couples.
As the adage says though, she comes first.
How to Be a Well-F@#ked Woman will start again in the next few weeks. If you haven’t watched the free video series, get on it.
You’ll see me post-coital (my secret weapon for public speaking: orgasms first) and get many tips on how to harness sexual energy for more energizing and pleasurable orgasms. Plus, I’ll be talking 5000-year-old sex tips of courtesans from the ancient court of China. And… the key appeal from _50 Shades of Grey_ that you can apply to your love life.
In the early fall, I’ll be running my online salon for men.
As I’m putting together the material for this, guys I want to hear from you.
I have an online questionnaire for you to fill out and let me know what you want to master.
Click here to fill it out!