Kim Anami

The 4-Hour-Male Orgasm

Sexually speaking, say the Taoists, men are like fire; quick to ignite and quick to extinguish. Women are like water; slow to boil but they keep on boiling.

The challenge is for both sexes to meet somewhere in the middle–for men to learn how to build more stamina and for women to learn how to keep their sexual energy at a steady simmer so they aren’t having to make the long climb from freezing to boiling during each encounter.

Tim Ferriss has a book out called The 4-Hour Body: An Uncommon Guide to Rapid Fat-Loss, Incredible Sex, and Becoming Superhuman. Like The 4-Hour Workweek is a compendium of shortcuts for working less and making more money, the 4 Hour Body focuses on shortcuts for weight loss and building muscle and “becoming superhuman.” Both of the books presuppose that one doesn’t enjoy working or exercising and that there are other things we’d rather be doing. I happen to love my work and I love exercising and eating well; my lifestyle choices are already a reflection of how I enjoy spending my time. Work, play and exercise are synonymous.

I was curious about a certain chapter of the new book: The 15-Minute Female Orgasm. At first I was unclear–is Tim talking about an orgasm that lasted for 15 minutes? Or that he could guarantee to get any woman to orgasm in 15 minutes? Did that presuppose that most women couldn’t get to orgasm in 15 minutes? Was he talking about clitoral orgasms? Or G-Spot orgasms? Cervical orgasms?

Confusing.

He’s talking about getting a woman to clitoral orgasm in 15 minutes.

Commendable.

What’s important for men and women to know is that ALL WOMEN are capable of orgasm–be it clitoral, G-Spot and cervical. They are also capable of having multiple orgasms and riding an orgasmic wave that can last for hours.

As are men. Building stamina is one of the most powerful talents a man can bring to the bed. Closely intertwined with that is confidence–being able to see through to the other side and know that you can find the keys to unlock each woman. They might be emotional, they might be finding Tim’s (well, actually, the Bodanskys’) one-o’clock clitoris point but they’ll all be wound up in stamina. Having a man who can choose when, how and if to orgasm gives a woman the space to find her own rhythm without the plug being pulled before she can get there. That stamina needs to be able to hold her and create a safe container for anything to emerge. This also means letting go of the idea of orgasm as a steady climb, a peak and a descent. It becomes instead more of a roller coaster ride with peaks, valleys and plateaus.

One of the first things you can do to get there is breathe. Most people tend to hold their breath or breathe shallowly as they get aroused. Take a moment, pause and check in with your breathing. Have your partner monitor your breath as well–you can monitor it in each other.

Deep, steady, elongated breathing is one of the biggest keys to becoming multi-orgasmic in men and in women.

~ Kim