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The Sex Date

I was on Breakfast Television last week and we touched on the sex date. Most people have heard about “date night” for couples: setting aside an evening that’s just for the two of you. I take it a step further and advise people to create sex dates.

Once a week, carve out three hours (no less) that’s devoted just to sex. Don’t go to dinner, or a movie or take a walk on the beach–spend those three hours having sex. If you’d like to fuel up, then tack on a dinner beforehand, but it isn’t allowed to cut into your three hours.

Plan ahead. Let your mind wander into fantasies that you’ve kept under wraps. This is the time to share them and act them out. Is there a new toy or position you want to try? The anticipation is half the fun.

As I said in the interview, even though we have an ideal of romantic love in our culture, the maintenance of that love isn’t considered a priority. We have to make it one. You might argue that scheduling sex takes the “sexy” out of sex, but if you don’t schedule certain things, they’ll never get done. Does setting a time for dinner make eating any less enjoyable? Trust me, once you’re having regular sex and feeling the mind-body-bliss of your renewed connection, you won’t balk. You’ll be planning your sex nights well in advance.

Beyond that is the sex weekend. I’m holding a four-day retreat into all things sexual in San Miguel de Allende, Mexico in November. Get away in the fall and deepen your sexual knowledge at the same time! Stay tuned for details.


Photo: Sam Taylor Wood

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