The Six-Day Sex Date
If you’ve been following me for a while, you know I encourage couples to have a weekly sex date. I prescribe three-hour chunks of time carved out for sex. Only sex.
This is sustenance for your relationship.
People often ask what that ought to look like. I say, massage, extended exploration, like 30-45 minutes of oral sex. Fantasy play. Introduce new toys. The key is that those three hours have to be filled up with some kind of sensual interaction.
Me, I’m a marathon fucker. I make no apologies for that. To keep me happy, I require frequent blocks of time dedicated to sex. Like weekends. And weeks.
How do you dedicate six days to sex?
Let me explain.
We’re going to a resort with our own private, jungle villa. We will spend a lot of time in that space.
There’s the “We’re here!” sex. The “This is so amazing that we have this block of time together. I’m so excited to show you how amazing this is!” kind of sex.
There’s “Waking up in the middle of the night, grateful and aroused, in the sultry sea air, and hoisting myself on my lover,” sex.
And the morning sex. “How many ways can I wake you up?” sex. Blow-job, good-morning sex. There’s “I love that your erection between my legs is an alarm clock” sex.
In-between the villa sex, we will go out and eat food. We will need to. For this, and other public excursions, I will wear clothes. But only certain kinds of clothes. Like dresses. I really hate pants and I really resent winter for making pants a necessity.
So there will be dresses. There will not be panties. Even though the world is full of pretty panties, I will wear none of them. My lover will be acutely aware of this, my no-panties rule. Because I will find many ways to remind him. Though I don’t think he will forget.
And there’s yoga. We are keen to do yoga. Because yoga keeps your hip flexors open and relaxed. And that makes keeping my legs open for hours easier. And it stretches your chest and unwinds your blocks—emotional and physical. So yoga is important. Important for the sex.
Also, I bought new, very short, shorts, especially for the occasion. Seriously. I was busy shopping the night before we left because this is so important.
Don’t think I don’t know how I look in cat/cow and down dog. In those shorts? I feel a bit sorry for him, really. He doesn’t stand a chance.
That’s some simmer for you. Foreplay perpetua.
Have I mentioned the public sex yet? I love public sex. And outdoor sex. Beds are okay, but jungles, beaches, boats and up-against-walls are better.
And then there’s the public groping. I will grope his cock and his ass at every opportunity. While I’m standing in front of him, waiting to be seated for dinner, I’ll reach my hand behind him and stroke him, aiming to get him hard before we sit down.
When we eat, we don’t sit across from each other. We sit side-by-side. This is another rule. That way, there can be lots of touching, and leaning into necks to say important, guttural things. There can be soft, murmuring talk that says, “you slay me.” And there can be plenty of wandering, teasing hands.
This is what dinner is all about. And yoga. And everything else in-between the “sex.”
Foreplay perpetua. The constant simmer.
All of our other activities are there to enhance and support the sex. And really, it’s all sex. It’s mindfucking and heartfucking and deep penetration on every level.
That’s how you have six days of sex.
19 thoughts on “The Six-Day Sex Date”
Awesome. Philosophy I like to live by. Just forwarded this to my wife to give her a hint.
Game Changer! Thank you 🙂
This is what I have sought through my life and It has not found me nor have I found it . At least you and your writings have restored my faith so I shall resume the search 🙂 Perhaps you could broaden your talents to matchmaking for people like me 🙂 I am sure there are many that seek and don’t find.
Regardless of that, I am so pleased to have found this little heaven you call a blog and I am gratefull that you inspire and educate others too. Thank you <3 🙂
Hello, Kim. I stumbled upon your blog while searching for ideas to rekindle the flame of sexuality in my marriage. We have been together 20+ years, and have two children under five years old. We have fallen out of the habit of even thinking about sex, let alone talking about or actually participating in it. I am very happy to have read some of your thoughts, as they reconnect me to the earlier years of our relationship. I look forward to reintroducing the fun and playful sex of our youth into our everyday lives!
Welcome! Yes, it’s a re-education process and commitment to put the focus back there. But totally possible and soooo worth it!
Thank you. I’ve just discovered your blog and I love the fire in your spirit!!! It’s about time society needs to unabashedly accept and embrace the full power of our sexuality, and quit with the repression. Thanks for going public with your thoughts. A life without fully harnessing the power of our sexual energy is not a life well lived and it is so inspiring to see you fearlessly taking on society and encouraging us to embrace this core of ourselves. I am so happy to have found your blog, I feel very, very at home in your writing.
Thanks Jessica! Your language sounds a lot like my way of thinking! Welcome and I look forward to connecting more!
Thank you for making me feel “normal”…. you are seriously AMAZING.
You mean you’re a marathon fucker too!?! :))
I LOVE this blog. Kim I was recently introduced to your work and love every part of it. I can’t wait to know and learn more from you. Thank you for sharing your gifts.
Thank you Muneeza! I look forward to learning more about you too!
Hiya- So, perhaps that part of a world that I would love to see more fully expressed might just occur. Many years ago, I had such a partner- but not often since- coupled all day and all night; gently rhythmic in a hot pool on a mountainside, unaware of the others there; both arms full of groceries and she guiding me across the parking lot by the ‘zipper’; nude/silent blind walks,… as you may well know. (One stole my clothes while we were skinny dipping- made my way back into town.) Your kindly and educated descriptions of this poetic protocol enlivens all of the categories of life. The vivid memories of these events have been with me since then, as if it were yesterday. Might be time to get back in shape again. Thanks Kim, for bringing this along. Happy 9’s.
I’d like to think that part of the world is gaining a stronger voice. At least so long as I have anything to do with it!
Yes, those moments and people really are the stuff of life—when we tap into the flow of spontaneous feeling and expression. And have a companion on the journey!
wow. all i can say is simply thank you … for giving full unapologetic expression to the wild untamable let’s-fuck-all-the-way-to-God world just broiling within us all!!
Bryan, it’s my pleasure. Really. It is.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE this post and am excited that I found your site. I am ready to be happy again although change makes me nervous I think I owe it to myself to allow myself to experience true pleasure- now if I could just find someone to experience it with!!!
Thank you! You do owe it to yourself!
And you can start with yourself. The more pleasure and fulfillment you radiate, the more likely you are to attract someone who shares those qualities. Remember, like attracts like!
SO happy i found your site. LOVE this blog post. THANK YOU for sharing.