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What is the Sexiest, Easiest and Safest Form of Birth Control?

Question: What is the sexiest, easiest and safest form of birth control?

Answer: Your finger.

I’m often shocked at how many people haven’t heard of this method. It’s is also called the Billings or cervical mucous method, having been discovered by Australian husband and wife team, Dr. John and Evelyn Billings. It’s a simple, fast, body-safe and even sexy way to diagnose fertility.

It makes sense that since every other female on the planet of other species gives clear signs of fertility, that humans ought to as well.

We do.

Most people are aware that female ovulation takes place sometime during the middle part of a woman’s menstrual cycle–approximately Day 14. The cervix is plugged with a thick, impenetrable mucous (read: hostile to sperm) up until just before ovulation. The plug protects the uterus from random debris and infection. And sperm.

A few days before ovulation, the plug loosens and falls from the opening of the cervix, allowing sperm to enter the uterus. The cervix remains open for three to four days before the plug forms again. What the Billings’ discovered is that the mucous has a measurable consistency. It’s these observations that allow women to monitor their own fertility. The mucous has a certain thickness prior to the plug dissolving; it changes when the plug drops and it changes again when the plug reforms. You can diagnose the texture and fertility-friendliness of the mucous by inserting the tip of your finger into the opening of the vagina.

When I first read about the method, I began to apply it immediately. I’d gone off The Pill a few years earlier because it felt intuitively wrong to be on it. I eat a clean, organic diet and I use naturopathic medicine, so shoving a bunch of carcinogenic hormones into my body seemed like a bad idea. I was right.

In 2005, the WHO (World Health Organization) placed the birth control pill in its Group One category for carcinogens–the highest possible rating and only given when there is “sufficient evidence of carcinogenicity in humans.” Other Group One carcinogens include asbestos and radium.

In the same way, an IUD felt wrong. The copper in IUDs is absorbed by the body over time and I could taste the metal in my mouth. I had it removed in a month. I’ve never tried a diaphragm and condoms just suck for many reasons.

What’s recommended, especially at first, is a daily charting of one’s cycle. It’s super easy to do and can be kind of hot. Your lover can walk up behind you while you are cooking dinner, slide his hand into your pants and tell you what’s happening there. Then you run off to the bedroom, put a sticker on the chart and either finish dinner or start having sex.

The catch is that during ovulation, when women often experience a surge in libido, they’ll be far more susceptible to pregnancy. During this time I suggest becoming devoted oral and anal sex enthusiasts. Or experimenting with energy sex.

On the other hand, if you are trying to get pregnant, this method is fantastic to isolate the days when a woman is most likely to conceive.

When the method is followed, it’s 98% effective (the 2% is due to not following the method properly). Billings educators all over the world meet with singles and couples to explain how the method works. When you attend a presentation, you are supplied with a chart and stickers so you can track your findings. Even though I read a book about the method years ago, when I attended my first presentation and had a chance to ask questions, I understood the process better and was far more confident in using it.

On that note, I highly recommend watching the presentation as a couple. Another downside of The Pill, apart from it being a serious carcinogen, is that it gives men the impression that women magically never get pregnant. Understanding the method also allows men to become more aware of a woman’s monthly rhythms. Many men already intuit when a woman is ovulating or is pre-menstrual. Understanding and practicing the method together builds intimacy.

I’m bringing in a certified Billings instructor to put on the presentation of how to use the method on February 15th, from 7-9pm. The presentation itself is fairly short and there will be time afterwards for questions and sharing. Like all of the salons I hold, there will be organic wine and aphrodisiac chocolates to help set the mood. The instructor will also be available for future follow-up if you choose to adapt the method.

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