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Why Masturbation Makes You a Better Person

From the “sex makes you a better person” series.

This post isn’t just for the singletons. It’s for all of you.

Masturbation is usually defined as a solo act. But let’s not forget mutual masturbation. Or webcam adventures.

It’s all good.

Many people I speak to let their sexual fires burn out when they are in-between relationships.

While I definitely support the need to take time and regroup after a break up, there is no reason to become sexually inactive. In fact, sex can help you move through your breakup.

I remember one of my hardest breakups. I was immobilized for a while, and then began a daily self-pleasuring practice. Sometimes I would imagine him, sometimes I wouldn’t.

Those post-breakup orgasms were amazing system cleansers and reboots. I released huge amounts of emotion through them and was able to move much faster out of the grief zone.

I had a daily routine then (and usually do now): masturbation and then writing. That was some of the best writing I’ve produced to date.

Sexual energy is creative energy. It wants to be channeled.

I was recently told of a study where men were shown porn at work. There were three groups:

1) men not viewing porn at work
2) men viewing porn at work and masturbating to orgasm
3) men viewing porn, masturbating and not climaxing

Guess who had the highest productivity?

The men who masturbated but did not climax.

Revving up their sexual energy gave them a mental boost. Ejaculating depleted them.

This isn’t to say that you shouldn’t ejaculate—it all comes down to technique.

There is a “right” and “wrong” way to orgasm; only in the sense that one energizes you and the other tires you. (I’ll be addressing this in the Sexual Mastery for Men salon).

Like I’m always saying, if sex isn’t a rejuvenating, energizing, life-giving experience for you, then you aren’t doing it right.

Keeping your sexual energy up through self-pleasuring in-between relationships is good for you on many levels.

When you are “wearing” your exuberant sexual energy, you are more likely to attract someone into your life. When you are “wearing” your sexual dormancy, you are unlikely to attract someone into your life. Or, you’ll attract someone who is equally as listless sexually.

A client I’ve been working with went through a long phase of sexual dormancy. Once he began revving up his energy again, even as a single person, women began approaching him daily. On the street, in the supermarket, asking him out.

He’s been bombarded by female attention, just by having a conscious masturbation practice.

Conscious, meaning, he’s directing his sexual energy in a way that is rejuvenating, rather than exhausting.

Another great opportunity to use masturbation is when you are in a relationship and there is physical distance between you.

Get out your phone, your ipad or your computer. Skype it up.

Years ago, I was seeing someone who lived on the other side of the continent and in another time zone. We had insane chemistry together and waiting for weeks at a time to realize that was silly. And impossible.

Phone sex was good. Webcam sex was better.

I bought my first webcam. And many, many props for that webcam. I was making weekly trips to the sex toy store. For my variety hour show.

I’d wake up, roll over, turn on my computer, have incredible screen sex with my lover, hop in the shower, and go about my day.

I felt so well-f%$ked in that relationship. The virtual sex was amazing. That experience also really showed me the power of “energy sex,” and sex without touch, but that’s worthy of another post. 🙂

Self-pleasure keeps the energy flowing within yourself, toward your partner, toward prospective partners (!) and out to the world.

It’s an excellent use of your time.

If you are doing it consciously.

More on that in the…

Sexual Mastery for Men Salon

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In this 8-week course, I spill the secrets of male sexual power.

And penetration. And stamina.

Check it out now.


  • the three sex acts that boost your income
  • oral and manual techniques to bring your woman to her knees
  • how to have full-body, hours-long orgasms
  • how to take your relationship out of the “buddy” zone forever
  • ways to open your women on a daily basis so she can surrender to you

And much, much more (orgasms)!

Click here to register now.

Sexual Mastery for Men Teleseminar

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The call was yesterday.

If you’d like to listen to the replay, click here.

In the short call, I go through exactly how the salon will run and answer some common questions, like: How does it work if I’m single? What if I’m too busy?

Click to listen or right click on this link to download:

Teleseminar Link


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