The worst thing you can do to a man
Is to not trust him.
Trust is the most essential component of any relationship.
If you don’t have trust, you don’t have anything.
Trust is the foundation for all.
You can’t build without it.
Everything will collapse if it isn’t there.
In the land of archetypes, in the dance of masculine and feminine, there are qualities we each inhabit. We can each wear and trade off in these energies.
These apply in hetero and gay and lesbian relationships. There’s always a more masculine partner and a more feminine partner.
And if you insist there isn’t, I can guarantee you probably aren’t having much or very good sex. More on that in another post though!
Though these are always fluid and changing, but it often looks like:
Masculine: protector, achiever. Penetrator. Initiator.
Feminine: Opens, softens, let go, surrender, receive.
One of the fastest ways to open a man, to help ground him in his masculinity, strength and purpose, is to trust him.
Show and prove to him that you trust him.
This trust nourishes and relaxes him. It reinforces his role as being capable, as being able to look after his partner.
When you constantly show him you don’t trust him, by second guessing his decisions, questioning his direction and throwing little jabs his way, you undermine him, his confidence and his essence as a man.
“Did you really choose that restaurant for us to eat at?”
“Why are you wearing that?”
“That’s NOT how I asked you to cut the vegetables!!!!”
I remember when I first saw, years ago, what happened when I gave a man the gift of my trust.
He rose to the occasion.
Something was activated in him and he stepped into a stronger, more confident and whole place in himself.
To be of service.
I created a space.
He stepped in to fill it.
Many women (or feminine partners) don’t allow any space to exist.
They take over every detail of their lives, so they don’t have to let go of control.
Not only is this exhausting for the feminine, it aggravates the masculine.
He becomes frustrated and angry and not even sure why.
He feels that every action of his is being nitpicked and criticized.
At this stage, men often withdraw and stop fighting.
Or they get very cantankerous passive aggressively or outright aggressively.
And then it gets fun.
Eh, not really. It’s a constant battlefield between you.
What to do instead?
“Find a place you trust and try trusting it for a while.”
~ Sister Corita
I love this quote and idea.
Trust is a choice. Trusting frees you up to not worry about things.
The beautiful thing about trust, is that it brings out the best in people.
You speak to the highest part in them, and they being to occupy that place.
I know some will say: There are those who just aren’t meant to be trusted.
If all the signs and too many chances have been given, there’s a time and place to withdraw trust.
Love or fear.
Are you making choices to protect yourself and wall against any chance of being hurt, seeing all that could grow wrong or are you focused on the highest possible outcome?
Wherever you put your focus and attention is what is most likely to manifest.
Each moment in our lives has the power to rebirth a new future, new direction, new level of love.
Choosing trust, love and openness puts you in line for the most amazing gifts spirit can bring to you.
Image: Cameron Gray