Is Celibacy Ever Good for You?
Or not to f**k.
Both don’t have much use if applied unconsciously.
Both can be incredibly powerful if used with intention.
In the same way that I recommend conscious monogamy, I also recommend conscious celibacy.
Being conscious means knowing your intention behind your commitment.
Most people “fall into” monogamy and think that it means simply not fucking other people.
And that’s why so many people are so terrible at it.
The same applies to celibacy: you can’t just not fuck people and think that’s celibacy.
If you don’t properly channel that explosive sexual energy, it inverts. By attempting to suppress the un-suppressible, it backfires and comes out in all kinds of damaging ways.
As has been clearly demonstrated by some of the world’s most prominent religious organizations.
You can learn to harness and channel this energy.
You can not have sex with other people, but can tap into your own sexual energy and use it as a creative power in your life.
One of the best time’s to practice celibacy is right after a breakup.
Put an “unavailable” sign on your forehead, and stop, drop and heal.
Ask yourself tough questions:
- Where were you responsible for the demise of the relationship?
- If you were accepting 150% of the responsibility for what went wrong, what would that be?
- What patterns do you keep repeating in relationship?
- Where can you heal old trauma that keeps you stuck in a groove and sabotaging deeper intimacy?
When you can answer those questions, and you’ve done the energetic work that’s required to patch up your inner landscape, you’ll move into a new dimension.
You’ll attract a higher-quality partner next time, because now you are vibrating higher as well.
After my last big breakup, I took 2.5 years of celibacy.
I didn’t intend a time period at the outset. All I knew is that I had inner work to do, and I was committed to cleaning up every area of my life.
No stone left unturned.
In those 2.5 years:
- I was extremely well-fucked.
- I used my own techniques and practices to harness and channel sexual energy into my life and work. (The kinds of things I teach in my salons).
- I put all of my focus into my creative projects. I fell in love with them. They became my lovers. I woke up every morning, bursting out of bed, my head swimming with inspiration and excitement.
- I overhauled every aspect of my business and totally rebirthed it.
- I manifested and moved into my dream house, one that I had been visualizing for years.
- I quadrupled my income.
- I came up with some of my boldest and most creative ideas to date.
After 2.5 years, one day I knew that it was time.
Time to take the “unavailable” sign off my forehead.
Within one week of making that internal decision, three high-quality contenders showed up.
High-quality, meaning they were all life-partner caliber.
I hadn’t tried to meet anyone—I didn’t join a dating site, or go to a club, or on a blind date.
They all just beelined to me.
The feng shui I had done on my life had made me internally, energetically clean and clear.
I magnetized them with my up-levelled life because my life now better reflected my true intentions and visions for myself.
That alignment and clarity made it easy to bring in suitable matches.
Celibacy can be an extremely useful tool.
If used consciously.
Same as monogamy/being sexually active.
It’s all about being intentional and channeling that energy.
You don’t need a partner to get in touch with your sexual energy.
You can use it anytime, anywhere to create your life.
Image: Me and a Malibu sunset. Photo: Sarah Orbanic