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How to Find “The One”

A friend of mine recently left her husband of 40 years.

She’s an stunning, vivacious, radiant woman of 62. Let’s call her Sabrina.

I’ve watched Sabrina over the past couple of years as she’s put a lot of energy into her own self-care: she’s lost weight, taken up a health regimen, goes to the gym five times a week, attends burlesque classes and she’s had a committed spiritual practice for decades.

Her marriage had been flat for years and one day it became clear to her that it was time to leave. So she did.

When she called to tell me the news, the first thing I did was let her know her how very brave and bold she was to make that choice. Few people do.

**

Her other friends (single friends) told her how difficult it was to find love at their age. How all the good ones are “taken.”

So sixty-two-year-old Sabrina hauls her motorcycle out of the garage, where it has been collecting dust for years, and takes it for a ride on the highway. She’s blazing down the open road and she asks her inner guide (spirit, God, whatever you want to call it) “How is anyone ever going to find me? Everyone knows me as a married woman. Will I ever find someone else?”

Later in the week, Sabrina is at her farmhouse—she lives on a sprawling piece of property almost in the middle of nowhere—there is a knock on her front door. She answers it and a man stands on her porch. He says that his employer, Robert Redford, had recently been in the area, noticed her property and was interested in shooting there.

She took a moment. “You mean *the* Robert Redford?”

“Yes,” he smiled. “We’re doing a film here and he loved what he saw of your land. Would you mind if I came back to take some pictures?”

She said that would be all right.

**

Later in the week, Sabrina goes to the gym and into the sauna. There are a few men in there, besides her. Within ten minutes, the sauna is filled up. With twelve other men. Twelve men and Sabrina. What’s a girl to do?

**

As Sabrina pulls up to the supermarket on her motorbike, a very attractive man is leaving. He stops her and they chat about motorcycles. He asks her to go “riding” one day.

**

If Robert Redford (or a reasonable facsimile) can find Sabrina’s acreage, “the one” will also find her, and will find you.

Finding “the one” is not about actively searching—going to clubs, using dating services, asking to be set up on blind dates by friends. I don’t discourage those things, but I don’t encourage them either.

Finding “the one” is about cultivating self-love. Raising your vibration of openness, radiance and feeling joy in the life you have, with or without someone else in it.

Then you meet people at the supermarket, in an elevator, at your gym and walking down the street. The only thing you need to do is get yourself out into the flow of life, to immerse yourself in the things you love doing and you will attract the person who is a perfect match for you. It will be easy for you to find each other.

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