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When you are too busy to have sex, meditate, exercise…

Do it more.

One of the main excuses I hear from people/clients about why they don’t follow through on the things they want to integrate into their lives—sex, exercise, a meditation routine—is that they are too busy.

I get it.

I’m busy too.

The only way anything gets done is:

1) Committing to it. Valuing it as a priority in your life.

2) Scheduling it.

3) Rescheduling if you have to cancel.

We moved house this week. Due to some unforeseen circumstances, we were also forced to spend a few days in a hotel, right before the move. That gave us a day to pack.


Packing day: I hit a 10am yoga class. I saw clients. I knew I’d need a second wind by the end of the day so I drove to the beach to do a second meditation (I have done a daily, usually morning, meditation for 20+ years). I felt energized, buoyant and totally balanced for the entire rest-of-day (and night) of packing.

Moving day: I had a goal to be done in time to hit my 5:30 Pilates class. Despite us being perhaps one of the least prepared mov-ees, the day went very smoothly. We went for a celebratory dinner in our new beachfront neighbourhood and I made it to Pilates by sprinting down the block.

Unpacking day (today): Another 10am yoga class. I’m giving a talk tonight at a conference, so I’ll be sure to have my pre-talk, oxytocin inducer (i.e. An orgasm or 10) before the evening commences.

Over the past few days, I could have defaulted to: “I’m too busy to get to that yoga class, to meditate, to have multiple orgasms.” Instead, I had more. I adhered firmly to that which I know will lubricate my life.

Instead of a stressful few days, I came out victorious; having exuded patience, tolerance and love (with a few slight, but quickly recovered, slips).


I have clients who schedule a MONTH of sex dates in advance. They even schedule the night during which they will figure out the month of scheduling. And they have a strict, “must reschedule” rule if someone needs to change a date.

They’ve now seen how much their commitment uplifts and greases the wheels of their relationship. That’s motivation for them to keep at it. They also know that if they don’t schedule it, they don’t get to it—at least in this stage of their relationship.

I work another couple who feel utterly stretched. They both work from home and their three children are underfoot a lot. We examined every facet of their lives to see where they could carve out time together.

I remembered one of them saying that they had a family member’s motorhome parked out front of their house.


I said: “When the kids are occupied, take half an hour or an hour and head out to the motorhome. Tell them: “When that motorhome’s a rockin’, don’t come knockin’!”

That motorhome has seen some wild things by now, I can imagine.

I am training them to get creative and snap up moments wherever they can, where they otherwise might have defaulted to… television. Housecleaning. Avoidance.


These practices become your anchor. In the tough times, don’t let them go. Stick to them with more ferocity and they will give you more grace, confidence and energy to face your life.


~ Kx

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5 thoughts on “When you are too busy to have sex, meditate, exercise…

  1. Thank you for this post, I needed the reminder! My hubby and I have the “we are too busy” excuse all the time. I completely agree, we need to make time for sure. Thank you, Terra

    1. It’s the easiest excuse to cop to! Once you firmly commit/recommit to your priorities, and make them non-negotiable, it feels much easier. And you feel the benefits!


  2. Letting go of fear and living in the moment are two fundamentals we need to master if we are to get the most out of any situation, sexual or otherwise, and just as importantly give our partners the time they deserve.