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The Anatomy of a Sex Date

You’ve likely heard me speak on the importance of scheduling sex dates.

These are dates designated just for sex: not dinner, a movie or a walk on the beach.

Just sex.

I typically prescribe a minimum three-hour weekly sex date. On top of that, you are free to add more.

I suggest you do.

Friday nights are a great time for a sex date. It’s the end of your work week (for most) and you kick off your weekend not only with a biochemical boost to your system, but you renew your connection with each other.

Single? (Keep reading. I have suggestions for you too).

What exactly does one do on a three-hour sex date?

For one, use the time leading up to the date as foreplay. Send sexy text messages, images of yourself or someone else in a position you’d like to be in.

You can dedicate the evening to a special act: like G-Spot exploration. Or anal sex. Or deep throating. Or talking through sex.

Focus on one act for 30 minutes or more. Oral sex, especially in a ’69’ position, is deeply nourishing for both people.

I find that the deeper mysteries and gifts of these acts only begin to reveal themselves after thirty minutes or so of play.

If you get tired, ease up on the pace. Aim to build your stamina!

Keep the conversation going. Give your partner feedback in the moment about what you like and don’t like. Tell them how hot for them you are.

Talking while being sexual and in-between sex acts keeps you connected and the energy between you remains at a constant simmer. It’s a frequent occurrence that both of us think we’re done, then some sexy, raw, confessional talk starts up and we’re on top of each other again.

Maybe you wander into the kitchen for some food.

Kitchen counters are one of my favourite places. I love to sit up on them, with my legs wrapped around my lover. One thing leads to another. We rarely end up eating food.

Massage is great to fill the time with. You can begin a sex date with it or during intermissions, focus on kneading tension out of a particular body part.

Or increasing tension in another.

My personal penchant is for marathon sex: hours and hours of wrestling. Ten hours is an ideal sex date for me. Or a weekend. Or a week.

Years of study in Tantra have fuelled this love in me.

Which is something I’ll be sharing soon—I’ll launching my next e-salon in February (timed for a certain auspicious day) for couples and this Tantric exchange will be part of what we focus on.

The important thing about sex dates is scheduling in the time. You carve it out and it becomes non-negotiable. Sacred. Part of your routine.

Couples who have sex lives which flourish over decades prioritize them.

The proof is in the pudding.


You can still have sex dates.

With yourself.















Weekend mornings are great (or any day you don’t have to be somewhere early). Spend the time expanding the window of your climax. Don’t rush to the finish: prolong it as much as possible.

And breathe.

I give some great techniques on breathing and extended orgasm in this free video series. They apply to men and women.

Explore different orgasms. For women: clitoral, G-Spot or cervical. For men: practice building stamina.

Your sexual energy feeds you. Like any meal you consider to be necessary to your survival, so is this.

Give it the time and space it deserves.

Want to revolutionize your sex life?


Come with me on a guided six-day-sex date.

This May, I’m bringing a small, intimate group of couples and singles to Bali, for six days of sensual exploration, sexual mastery, heart-opening lessons, erotic inspiration + wild exhilaration.


Do you want to:

* Catapult your sex/intimate life to the next level.
* Learn intimate tools and techniques which will serve you for a lifetime?
* You want to have the deepest, wildest, most powerful, multi-orgasmic sex of your life.

Join me. Details here.





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3 thoughts on “The Anatomy of a Sex Date

  1. Could planning for sex dates create a sense of predictability that could possibly take away from the excitement and mysterious lure of what normally might be spontaneous sexual experience between two lovers?

    1. Even if people “normally” have plenty of spontaneous sex and enough of it to satisfy both people (and not many do), there’s still value in prioritizing it and setting aside time for it. And treating it like a subject worthy of continual learning and growth. For example, a weekend sex-date might involve going to a Tantra workshop. Or a massage workshop.

      It’s an argument that people often make toward scheduling: “It’s not spontaneous!” Few things get done in life without proper planning. Scheduling ensures they do, especially when they currently are not.