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V-Day Advice

Please just f**k the shit out of your girlfriend instead.

Every Valentine’s Day you’ll see the same thing: a long line up of men, late in the afternoon, all over town, scrambling to buy flowers and chocolates for their lovers.  

Guess who is NOT having sex tonight? 

Here is my V-Day, advice: 

We may as well call it Vagina Day, because it’s generally the vaginas in the relationship that are typically expecting some kind of grand gesture on this day.

I’ll tell you what a grand gesture is NOT: 

It is NOT: 

  • flowers 
  • chocolate 
  • dinner 

A grand gesture, would be a three hour fuckfest, where you took it upon yourself to give your woman a plethora of orgasms. 

And by plethora, I mean three or more. 

Good things come in threes. 🙂 

The only thing a woman really wants, is to be cracked open. 

Emotionally and sexually. 

Where you obliterate the fuck out of her with your heart and your cock. 

Where you bombard her with so much love and passion, that she is shattered. 

Her defenses break down, and she collapses into a wild mess of softness and vulnerability. 

That’s your job, and that’s the only gift in town: 

Fucking her open. 

In this episode, we’ll talk how to open your woman sexually and emotionally. 

And basically fuck the shit out of her. 

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Erotic gift suggestions from the Anami Alchemia online shop:

  • Sex Nectar: Hard Roots for Him and Salacious for Her. These are our aphrodisiac plant tinctures with scientifically backed herbs for everything from stronger erections to increased lubrication. Here is a recent review from a customer: 

“Within a few days, there has been a big improvement with much fuller and harder erections. I also bought my wife Salacious and now she is having better orgasms even squirting so hard it splashes up on our chest and down to our toes. We’re having a blast!” ~ Tommy B. 

-Kxx

V-Day Advice.

Every Valentine’s Day, you’ll see the same thing:  A long line of men late in the afternoon all over town scrambling to buy flowers and chocolates for their lovers! Guess who’s not getting fucked tonight?

Here is my V-Day advice—and we might as well call it “Vagina Day” because it’s pretty much just the vaginas in the relationship, who are typically expecting some kind of grand gesture on this day.

What your woman wants, what she really, really wants, is to have the shit fucked out of her. I will tell you what a grand gesture is not. It is not flowers or chocolate or dinner. A grand gesture would be a three-hour fuck fest where you take it upon yourself to give your woman a plethora of orgasms. And by plethora, I mean three or more. Good things come in threes!

The only thing a woman really wants is to be cracked open emotionally and sexually, where you obliterate the fuck out of her with your heart and your cock and perhaps a dildo.

Where you bombard her with so much love and passion that she is shattered. Her defenses break down and she collapses into a wild mess of softness and vulnerability. That is your job and that is the only gift in town—fucking her open. Penetrating her wildly and relentlessly, not letting her hide. Finding her behind her defenses and fucking her open even more and more.

This gift can take many forms, but I’m telling you that it never takes the form of flowers! The only time somebody ever brought me flowers was at the very end of our relationship. He came over—I had summoned him so that I could do the final breakup, which he probably sensed was coming, and he walked in [laughs] with a big bunch of flowers and then I really knew it was over. I was already committed to the end, but that was kind of like this final punctuation to it, because he would usually walk in with a big bunch of cervical orgasms for me and the fact that he brought me this weak and meaningless gesture meant that on some level, we both knew that this was truly the end of the road for us.

So, look, ideally you are committed to the process of penetrating—and by this, I mean, emotionally and sexually—your woman constantly, every day. How do you open your woman emotionally?

Well, first off, you initiate the tough conversations. You speak your truth, you can both act as truth barometers and divining rods with each other. Instead of hiding how you really feel, or you think about something for fear of rocking the boat, you tell each other.

You express your deepest self, and this keeps a constant flow and pulse and vibration of deep truth around you, which is the food of the heart. This wakes it up and keeps it open.

Secondly, you verbally shower her with love and beautiful words. You can never give too much of this gift. A woman will never tire of you saying how beautiful she is or how much you love her. You pin her up against the wall. You look deeply into her eyes, you hold her face in your hands so that she cannot squirm away or laugh and then you eye-fuck her and say something beautiful and heartfelt to her and then you kiss her.

Thirdly, you would fuck the shit out of her.

If you are truly fucking your woman deeply and giving her regular vaginal orgasms—and by this, I mean, G-Spot and cervical orgasms—this will keep her emotionally open.

Pounding the vagina into submission—and I mean this in the most loving and best of ways—clears out all the debris and effluvia that might cloud over her world and her true, open, unguarded self is free to emerge. This is the powerful gift of vaginal orgasms.

How do you open your woman sexually? First off, you give a shit. You prioritize your sex life. If you are a five-minute fucker, then you work on becoming a 15-minute fucker and a 30-minute fucker, and eventually, a 5-hour fucker. [Laughs] Yes! This is possible for every man and if this seems like a foreign idea to you, then I’ve got a video on YouTube, How to Last Longer in Bed, and then also check out my Sexual Mastery for Men Salon.

Not only is this possible for every man, but this is also necessary for every woman. You realize that she has the capacity for infinite orgasms and that if you want her to be happy and radiant and alive, you will give her a few of these every day—or at least a few of them several times a week.

Secondly, on the route to opening up your woman is to make time. So, I talk a lot about scheduling sex and carving out time for each other and your genitals. Whether that’s getting up 30 minutes early for a round of morning sex, or your weekly sex date, your three-hour weekly sex date, or your quarterly sex weekend, so I recommend that people have a full weekend away every few months or an annual sex week. A week out of the year that’s just the two of you away, focused on your intimate life.

All of this is about prioritizing your sexual and emotional time together and making it happen.

Third, I would say simple and grand gestures. The reason I’ve never really been a fan of V-Day or other scripted holidays, is that I believe we ought to be giving gifts on surprising the people we love with adoration and orgasms on a regular basis, without a special day to remind us.

I adore the idea of, let’s say a paragraph of poetry or prose to tell your partner how much you adore them. You write them this note, you slip it on their pillow or in their purse or whatever. Maybe you frame a photograph of the two of you.

If you do buy them a gift, then make it something that’s so unique to them that you are able to give it to them because you know them so well.

The gift communicates that you really see who they area. And so, this gift is both the object or experience that you’re giving them, as well as the pleasure of being seen.

After I get to know someone, whether it’s a new friend or a partner, then I have a really good sense of who they are and what they will love. If I ever see something, like whether it’s a particular experience or a physical object that I think they’ll love, I’ll grab it and I gift it to them.

So, pay attention and show that you’re paying attention because it feels delicious to be known and seen.

So, if you don’t fuck the shit out of your woman regularly, now is your chance! If you haven’t been giving her emotionally-meaningful gifts or wild orgasms, then sure, make use of V-Day, but instead of dinner or chocolate or flowers, plan your epic fuck-fest. If you want some inspiration and accoutrement, you can stock up at our Anami Alchemia Online Shop.

I would suggest one of our couture glass-blown dildos, or you can try the whole set of our Holy Trinity. Or if you want to explore the sacred territory of the ass, then check out our Shiva Wands. There’s our G-Spot Ecstasy Digital Salon, where you can do a deep-dive into her G-Spot and to yours.

And our Sex Nectar:  Our Hard Roots for Him and Salacious for Her. These are our aphrodisiac plant tinctures with scientifically-backed herbs for everything from stronger erections to increased lubrication. Here’s a recent interview I had to share from a customer.

“Within a few days, there has been a big improvement with much fuller and harder erections. I also bought my wife Salacious and now she is having better orgasms, even squirting so hard it splashes up on our chests and down to our toes. We are having a blast. Ha, ha, ha.”

[Laughs] Thanks for sharing, Tommy! And you can also plan an incredible sex week at one of our orgasmic enlightenment retreats. I will be doing one in Bali in June of this year and another one in Mexico in November. And of course, you can always pick her up a new vagina with our Yoni Egg Kit and Salonette. Her legendary gripping skills will also help you to build stamina as she learns how to prolong your orgasm, all with the skill and dexterity of her vagina.

So, happy Vagina Day! #NoFlowersJustOrgasms.

If you want to check out my suggestions on the Anami Alchemia Shop, then you can go there yourself at Anami-Alchemia.com. I will post links on my site to these products on this podcast page.

Thank you so much for listening. If you haven’t already, subscribe and also leave a review and send someone else the gift of a healthy libido and an off-the-chart love life by sharing this episode with them. We’ll be back next week and in the meantime, many happy orgasms.

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