5 Steps Blissful Painful Periods – TRANSCRIPT
For many women, their periods are agonizing experiences.
For a week out of every month—and longer for some women—they suffer excruciating, fetus-position, vomit-inducing, can’t function, pain-killer guzzling pain.
Why is this?
This has become normalized for so many people—to one degree or another—but it’s not normal.
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Most women grow up with a sense of foreboding about their periods.
At best, it’s kind of mysterious, and it’s worst, it’s portrayed as a life-altering event, that happens every month for decades, that causes women everything from mild inconvenience to suicidal ideations.
Good times!
Much like childbirth, and menopause, and every significant rite of passage around being a woman, there is great effort to create a shroud of helplessness, fear, disempowerment, ineptitude and stress around these portals.
I use the word “portal” very deliberately.
My view is that these moments in time are sacred openings that women have access to—that, indeed, are unique to women by virtue of having been born in a female body—that most women miss entirely.
And because they have no idea how to harness and tune into the power available to them during these openings, their own massive power INVERTS on them and causes great pain and suffering.
Menstruation, menopause, pregnancy and childbirth are all incredible power times.
Women are sacred vessels for new life.
They are the conduit for life to pass from one dimension to the next.
During each of these power portals, they experience a divine opening, when the curtain between worlds is pulled back and their shamanic powers are at their highest.
Indigenous cultures all over the world have long recognized this and understood that women innately have access to these places.
In many societies,,during a woman’s menstrual time, she was left alone, she was unbranded with work and responsibilities so that she could more deeply experience this shamanic opening, and bring back messages from the “other side” that would benefit herself, her family and her community.
Oh, the times they have a changed.
Instead of honouring themselves and these times in their lives, women are taught to think of them as oppressive, punishing and torturous.
Instead of harnessing these opportunities for a natural reset and recalibration, an inner hookup with the divine and to go inward and heal and gain wisdom, women self-medicate and suffer through.
So how do we change this dynamic?
Here are five steps to eradicating pain and creating blissful periods.
Because, as a divine creatrix, with the birthing power of the universe at your disposal, this is within your abilities to do.
1) First off, we redefine what these things are.
I’ve spoken at length about reframing menopause and childbirth in these episodes, The Myths of Menopause and Intuitive Birth: Trusting Yourself and the Divine.
They’re all connected, as times of reproductive power for women.
Today we’re focusing on menstruation.
Examine what you’ve been told and absorbed about what periods are meant to be like.
How did your family, your mother, the elder women around you communicate about them? What were their relationships like to their periods? what information did you pick up?
How do you see them? As the enemy? Do you dread them? Do you feel like you are at their mercy, and have no control?
Can you imagine that actually you have all the control?
And all that’s happened is that you’ve simply bought into a default narrative and programmed yourself to see and experience them in a certain way?
And that you can change that?
2) ALL reproductive ailments, from difficult periods, to endometriosis, PCOS, growths and cysts—every single one of these things is symptomatic of stuck sexual energy.
No exceptions.
In Anami Land, one of the most important things I do is teach people how to connect with and then harness their sexual energy for their own healing, rejuvenation and creative power.
Everyone can learn how to do this.
We do this through a variety of techniques, from learning to move and recirculate sexual energy in the body through breath, to massage practices and visualization.
3) Healing trauma.
Unhealed, unprocessed trauma in the body lingers.
We wear these things, like reminders, post-it notes that we have stuff to deal with.
That’s all symptoms really are:
Message from the body and your psyche that there is healing work to be done.
That something needs your attention
When we override and silence these messages, they just get louder and louder.
In the allopathic model, their ONLY approach is to ignore and try to suppress and silence symptoms and the voice of our body.
In Anami Land, we aim to facilitate a conversation.
And to do the healing work that will PERMANENTLY eradicate the issue, rather than embarking on a lifelong journey of Band-Aids in the form of painkiller drugs and constant, daily, ingesting of hormones.
Not on my watch.
Our Well-Fucked all Star Katie, in the episode Healing Sexual Trauma with the jade yoni egg, speaks about having a lifetime of brutal endometriosis.
She also had a history of sexual abuse.
Through the work she did in my salons, she was able to heal and integrate her past trauma, and when she did that, the endo symptoms COMPLETELY disappeared.
Gone. Never to return.
Her doctors were bewildered. This type of quantum self-healing is entirely foreign to them.
Actual healing—as opposed to eternal Band-Aids—is entirely foreign to them.
It’s possible for everyone.
4) Resting and allowing yourself to go inward during your menses.
As I’ve mentioned, a psychedelic portal opens up during menstruation.
Your uterus, the gateway between life and death, opens up and you have access to other dimensions.
this is a gift.
First Nations cultures have long spoken about how men have to do things like sweat lodges and vision quests to gain access to wisdom from “the other side”.
Women bleed.
They have a direct line to the other worlds that is amplified during menstruation, menopause and pregnancy/childbirth.
These additional rituals aren’t necessary for them.
But they do need to tune in and give themselves the chance to connect to this divine intuition.
They do that through slowing down.
Getting quiet.
Minimizing social and external stimulation, especially during the initial days of their menstrual cycle.
The more you can give yourself this quiet time, the easier it will be to go inside.
Think of it like a silent retreat.
You want the inner voice of intuition to get louder, so you turn down the volume on any other distractions.
5) Period sex.
Some of the best sex I’ve ever had in my life was when I was bleeding.
So this cosmic doorway opens, and when you share that space with a partner, now you’re both experiences this psychedelic trip.
You’re both opening yourselves to these divine energies.
It’s incredible.
Transcendent.
And very bonding.
The whole “I love and accept you and everything about you” vibe is huge.
On a purely physiological level, getting all your circulation going through some serious pounding breaks up stagnation and congestion that creates cramps.
EVERYTHING gets moving and flowing better.
Women have even reported a shortening of their bleeds when they’re having frequent period sex.
Plus, when you orgasm, you release endorphins, which can mitigate pain and cramps up to 70% or more.
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In today’s all star conversation, with Tia, she shares how she went from having fainting, vomiting pain in her periods, to them now being blissful and psychedelic and now looking forward to them.
She’s cultivated a beautiful relationship with her womb, and an open conversation to listen to her body and higher self messages.
KIM: Hey, Tia, it’s great to have you back.
TIA: Hi, Kim! I’m so happy to be back.
KIM: It’s been a year since your last Well-F**ked All Star interview.
TIA: Yeah, I know, right? Time flies.
KIM: So today we thought we would focus on your relationship with your period and the evolution of that, especially diving deeper into all of the Anami sexual work and how that influenced that relationship.
TIA: Yeah. Wow. There’s a lot to say so maybe let me just start at the beginning, when I first got my period. I was one of the last girls that got it in my primary school and I really, really wanted her to come. I remember I was like, “Oh, come on, I want to wear a pad. I want to like, ‘Oh, I just got my period.’” Like this type. It was kind of like “in” at that time. [Laughs]
So then I got her, one morning I remember I looked down and there was just blood, and I was like, “Oh my god, she came!” I got so excited. I was like, “I’m a woman now!” I started calling myself a woman at that time. I showed it to my mom, and she was like very happy as well. She showed me where there were pads and tampons and everything.
Yeah, that was my first experience. Then I remember like two days in we had like PE in school, and we had to do like some throwing a ball or something. I had a pad in between my legs, and I was like, “This is a bit like—[laughs] I don’t really love it so much.”
Then cramps came as well so I was like this whole thing, I don’t know if I’m the biggest fan of it, right?
KIM: Right.
TIA: It was better when I didn’t have it. I don’t know, I just kind of—it’s been programmed into me because all of the girls that had their periods before me in my class, they were complaining about it. Like, “Oh, it’s this time of the month again,” or “Don’t talk to me, I’m on my period,” or like “Yeah, it’s the hormones.” Like this is what I’ve been listening to my, I don’t know, whole 10, 11, 12th year. Then when I was 13 I got it.
So yeah, I kind of like—I was excited to get it but then also—not regretted it, but I was like, okay, there’s no way back now, she’s here. [Laughs] So I’m going to have her for a very long time.
Then that summer, she did not arrive for like three months because I would just bring so many things and I feel like she didn’t really feel welcome to come, now that I look back.
Because now—yeah, if we skip forward to now—sometimes I just talk to her and I’m like, “You’re safe, everything is ready for you. You can come. I’m going to rest for the next 24 hours. You’re more than welcome and I feel comfortable and safe and we’re not traveling so you can just come now.” Because I’ve seen her being delayed, like whenever I travel, if I’m very stressed or something, then it’s some variety there in my cycle.
But yeah, okay, maybe let’s start at cramps. They hit, I think, like the second cycle or the third cycle. They came and they were just—they were just unbearable. I remember like I couldn’t stand them. It was just—everything was hurting. The first thing that everyone close to me said was, “Yeah, you can just take a painkiller. You can just eat it and then forget about the pain and move on with your life.”
I was 13. Like I didn’t really think much of it yet. I just didn’t want to feel bad. I remember even going to my gynecologist and she also told me, “Yeah, you can just take ibuprofen for the pain and also if you want, we can also give you the birth control pill.” I was like, “Huh?” Like I remember the time I looked at her, I was 13, and I was like, “But you didn’t explain anything to me.” Because I was asking like why does it hurt me? Like what are cramps? Where do they come from? Why do I feel this right now?
And she didn’t. She wasn’t able to give me any answers, and I was just like, “Oh, okay.” I came home and I was like, “Mom, is there any other gynecologists? Like this one seemed to be…”
KIM: [Laughs] Too stupid? [Laughs]
TIA: Like she’d practiced medicine for 12 years and now she can’t tell me what the cramps are coming from. What the fuck is this? [Laughs]
So yeah, and then actually, because I was training hard at that time, like I did tennis, volleyball. I was also dancing. If we had a complication or something, I would never prioritize her. I would always put her on the last place. I would just take a painkiller and train and move on with my life.
I remember one time I was doing—we were doing gym once a week with my volleyball booking, and I just got my period, it was my first day. I stuffed myself with painkillers and I did like a lot of push-ups—not push-ups, sit-ups. And at that time I remember like I came home an hour later, I go under the shower, and I feel this like weird feeling in my belly, my uterus. And I just like look down and I relax and like a big pile of big blood comes out, like this big [holding hands up to make a circle].
I start crying. I was young, I didn’t know what’s happening. I was like, “Why did I just lose so much blood? This is crazy.” Then my mom came, and she also got a bit scared because I don’t think she’s ever seen so much blood. That was the moment where I learned that, yeah, maybe when I’m on my period, I shouldn’t be like exercising to 100% and maybe I should listen more to her and not just take painkillers. Because if you take a painkiller, the pain is still there, but you can’t feel it. So there is still something happening, but you are not able to feel it in your body, so you are living your life in the opposite way of you should be living it because you’re not honoring that you’re on your period.
That’s also when I started to learn that pain is actually there to communicate something with you and if you just numb it down, you don’t really listen to it, it becomes louder. And she did. She became much louder during the next couple of years. I started having back pain. I started puking. I started fainting. I fainted twice actually because of the pain.
I never looked forward to my period. I was always like, “Oh, no, she’s coming in like a week.” I was like, “Oh.” Yeah, it was horrible.
Like I also had a few very bad fights with my boyfriend at the time because I was just a bitch. I was just like, “Yeah, it’s my period, it’s my hormones. There’s nothing we can do. We just have to get used to me like this every month.” That was basically the idea.
Yeah. Then what started to change?
KIM: Oh, one more thing, did you also have messaging? You said your mom had difficult periods as well and so there was—she, I think you told me, took painkillers, too, so there was that as well that was part of the atmosphere for your periods.
TIA: Yeah, so that was another thing. When I started talking with my mom about periods before I even got her, she would also be like, “Oh, yeah.” Well, she wouldn’t really like put fear into me, but she would just tell me the reality. She would say, “Yeah, I’ve been fainting my whole life because of it. Yeah, I just take a painkiller and that’s it.”
She also didn’t really have any better education about it or change anything, so she just kind of went with it and that’s the knowledge that she passed on me as well.
Yeah, unfortunately, I just thought that that’s normal. I also heard like, “Oh, yeah, if your mom has a bad period, you also will have a bad period,” but I never looked deeper into it until recently. Now I know that it’s just like—you know there was like a quote on TikTok, “Pain travels through families until someone is ready to feel it.”
KIM: Oh, yeah.
TIA: And it’s so real because, I mean, this has been going like probably centuries and even when we were witches and we were getting burned and no one was like feeling it or everyone was—I mean, all the women before me were just like, “No, okay, it’s fine, let’s just ignore it.”
I don’t know, my mom did kind of the same, so yeah, that’s why I’m here now and I think I’m on the really right path to change it. Because what started happening was that I start puking out my painkillers.
You know how I told you that the symptoms got worse and worse, so yeah, they started getting worse, which also meant that—whichever I consumed, except water, I would puke out. In the beginning, I could eat the painkiller, and it would stay, and it would numb the cramps, and I could just go on with my day.
But then as I got older and I did not listen to her for so many years, she got louder. She was like, “Okay, bitch, [laughs] I’m going to make you listen to me if you’re not going to change something because clearly, you’re just ignoring the pain, you’re ignoring my voice, and I have a lot of things to say to you.”
So I started puking the painkillers out, which basically meant that I had to start feeling the cramps. Then I started doing research into side effects of painkillers and I saw so many bad things. Like I take this thing to numb the pain of the cramps, but I also cause a lot of things for my liver, for my kidney, all the other inner organs. It is just completely un-worth it.
So yeah, that’s when I just—I was like, “Okay, fuck, I have to start looking into some alternatives.” I ditched the painkillers completely. I, of course, dosed it off. I don’t know, first I would take maybe like five or six in the span of like two days, which is a lot. Like three per day is a lot. Then I started taking smaller portions of it, then I started just taking one for the first day, and then the second and third day I would just suffer through it.
I used a lot like this water heating thing.
KIM: A hot water bottle.
TIA: Hot water bottle, yeah. I use that a lot. But I would like burn my whole belly. Like this whole part here would just have like burns, literally burns, because I would rather feel the burn than feel the cramps. That’s how I started. Well, maybe it wasn’t the best way but at least I got—it’s like creeping out to smoke or something. [Laughs] You have to find an alternative.
So I ditched the painkillers completely in the span of like a year and I was so proud of myself. There was a lot of back and forth. Like sometimes I would still take it because I was in the middle of a travel or middle of, you know, something great happening, and I was just, “Ah.”
And then I started paying attention to how different I am throughout the month as well and how maybe I need different things throughout the month. I think this was when Corona happened and a lot of people started waking up and there was so much better programming on social media as well. I think on TikTok or Instagram I saw like, yeah, like when you were on your period you should just rest a bit more and just to give her some time, and yourself as well, to just catch up.
Then there was also one woman that said that like your period is your progress report during the whole month, so you really see how you’ve been treating yourself as a woman throughout this month. The more painful the period is, the less you’ve been treating yourself.
Then actually, that’s something that I’ve started doing on my own because again, a lot of programming. I also took some classes and there was one woman talking about how you should smile and look into your inner organs. She was like—I mean, you also talk about this and visualizations, but I found you later.
So I was like, “Hm, if I can smile to my liver, I can also talk to my uterus.” So I started talking to her, literally. I would put my hands on her and just tell her, “Okay, I’m here. I’m sorry that I wasn’t here for the past five years but I’m here now and I’m ready to listen. There’s no need to shout. I am right here and I’m listening. You can tell me calmly what’s happening.” And we’ve had, again, a lot of back and forth. Sometimes she would be very loud and screaming and sometimes she wouldn’t be.
Then a miracle happened because I had one cycle that wasn’t as painful and I was like, “Hm, what did I do right this cycle that would inhibit all the pain, all the cramps?”
Well, I’m just going by memory right now. There was a lot of things coinciding and a lot of factors. But at that time, I also got into a very serious relationship, and we had a lot of sex. So that could probably, most likely, also have had a big effect on it, and which I only started to learn after your salons, which was, I think, like a year after we broke up. So yeah, that was many years ago.
But if I skip forward to, yeah, just taking your salons, I learned so much about my sexuality, my femininity, my uterus, my womanhood, that I just started applying all these things and a lot of things shifted, a lot of things changed. There were different thing vibrating with me. I already told you in our last episode, for my school actually I did this program, like talking to your inner organs, and then a lot of women would come together, and we would talk together about it. I wrote like a whole little project about it.
That was just beautiful and that coincided with your salon, which, okay, I’m just going to skip and jump because I don’t think I can do it chronologically, but one of the things that you’ve always talked about is that you have to pay attention to which products you use.
At that time, I was using just Always pads. I was just like, okay, the first pads that I can grab, I used them. I recently switched to cotton pads, which are a life-changer and really amazing. When I used to use Always pads, they would like completely burn my outer labia, so I would feel like this burning every time I put them on and I was like, “This just much be because of my period.” [Laughs] But it was because of the pads.
Also, like the smell of it was just so chemical and bleached and horrible and I just wasn’t there yet with my frequents that I would intuitively say no to it. But getting more into your work, I just like ditched it completely and now I have cotton, 100% cotton pads, if I’m not free bleeding.
I also got into free bleeding, and I really love it. Every night I just free bleed on my—either on my squirting blanket or on my towels. It depends. I do laundry in the morning. And I’ve also gotten my boyfriend into it. At first he was like, “Why do you have to make everything dirty and messy?” And then I was like, [laughs] “Listen, like we have to honor her. She has to breathe as well during the night.”
If I am on my period, just think about it, if you’re on your period for seven days straight, you are always wearing underwear, and she’s always stuck up between the tampon and the—like she cannot breathe. I mean, most women do this also when they’re not on their periods if they wear—some women sleep with their underwear. I’m like, when can she breathe? Only when she’s showering then?
So yeah, free bleeding is amazing. Talking to my uterus, I’m just like, “Yo, what’s up? Stop shouting. Let’s discuss this.” So many emotions come out as well. I just love how I am on my period. If I compare it with what I started this talk today, I said that in the beginning I wasn’t so happy that she was there. I was like, there’s no way back now.
I freaking love her now. I can’t wait until she comes because it’s such a cleanse. It’s like a monthly cleanse. She just comes and I feel everything is coming out. Like I get some pimples, like all the inflammations are just coming out. If there’s anything unprocessed—I start crying, I’m super emotional. Like my boyfriend can be like, “Baby, where can I put this flower?” I’m going to be like, “Oh, flowers,” like I’m so in touch with nature and with living creatures around. Just like I feel everything so much. Like all the senses are heightened.
And I love it, like I love it. I’m like, I wish she would be here longer so I could be more present for longer.
And because the cramps are there, they are much more milder now than they used to be. But because they are there, I get so in my body, like so much. I feel all the cells. My uterus, where she is, my ovaries—and when the blood is coming out, I’m like, “Oh my god, I have a living thing inside of me that is once going to create life and how beautiful is this? Like everything that’s coming out right now was supposed to be for the baby that is going to be inside.”
If only you look at it like this and you start loving her and embracing her and it’s just amazing.
So yeah, that’s actually in a nutshell. There’s a lot more things I want to say but maybe…
KIM: I do have a question. And I love that evolution. When you said that you were making a real effort to ask your uterus, “Okay, I’m here, I’m listening, you don’t need to shout anymore,” you said that there were emotions that came out. Were there any other messages or things that you were like, “Oh, okay, I didn’t hear this before or realize it.” Were there any epiphanies like that that would come out once you started asking those questions and opening the doorway to hear the answers?
TIA: Yeah. So first thing that started happening, if I was, for example, if I got my period on the first day and if I was walking around doing things, immediately cramps. Like, “Bitch, sit down and rest.”
When I sat down and put my hands on my uterus and started talking to her, cramps disappeared immediately. It’s like a cry for help, right? She’s crying. She’s like, “Yo, I’m here, I have so many unprocessed things and you’re like neglecting me. There’s things we have to work through.”
So cramps, 100%, and I even played with it. I was like, “Dude, okay, stop talking to her.” I started thinking, just a mental part, thinking about something else, not about the pain in her—bam—cramps come back. Like double the pain.
I was like, “Oh, this is so interesting.” The minute I put attention and thoughts to her, the pain goes away. I’m like, “Wow, this is like a real thing.”
Yeah, that was one thing. I just started getting like very inspired and these creative ideas. I would like start manifesting things and just writing things down and it would just like flow over me, like crying and writing, and oh my god, it was—yeah, like my best—I wouldn’t say poems, but like my best manifestations happen when I’m on my period. My best ideas, my best captions, my best posts actually, like on Instagram and TikTok. They’ve all been downloaded during my period.
This is what she does. Like when you honor her and when you—that’s what you also say about your vagina, which is basically the same thing—but when you honor her and listen to her, she replies, and she rewards you. She’s like, “Oh, look at me, I have all these gifts to bear [laughs] and to give to you.” But it’s all inside of you if you’re willing to listen.
So yeah, these two things for sure. Then sometimes I would just get like these unprocessed thoughts, and I was like, “Where is this coming from now?” It would be this, like it would be the unprocessed thing that I’m still holding in my inner organs and then they just came out because I was ready and willing to listen.
So that’s why now on my first day of period, it’s not even about how—nowadays people are like cycle syncing and yeah, you should rest for 14 days when you are in your luteal phase. I’m like, no. It’s all good. I agree, the first day we have to rest, but not just because of the physical part but also because of the mental part. Because so many things come up emotionally that you haven’t processed during this month that you just have to not mentally stimulate yourself and you do that if you just walk outside or talk to people or have a social event. Then it consumes your mind.
But if you’re able to just rest for the day and let—just listen to your thoughts. Let everything come up. That’s when she comes and that’s where she thrives.
So yeah, I’ve been starting to do that. In the beginning, I did it for the physical part. I was like, okay, I just have to rest for the cramps. But now I do it more for the mental part. Because like now, for example, I had my period, my last cycle, it was completely unpainful. I’m like, “Wow, this is amazing.” And I went surfing like on that day. I just went out in the water, and I was like, “Oh, everything is fine.”
And the cramps, they were there, but like mild. They were just reminding me that she’s there, but they were like calm and quiet.
So yeah, I love her now. I’m just like, I’m going to be sad when once I lose her or like she leaves. Like how many more years do we have together? I love the smell of her. When I bleed, I like to collect her in a little jar and then I like to put it on my face, like a mask, like a face mask.
Like my boyfriend is already used to it, like me just walking around. [Laughs] He likes the smell as well.
Yeah, and I feel it’s like the pimples also come out or any like imperfections. That’s another thing.
And like I don’t know, also with free bleeding, like I’m just coming her way, we’re meeting each other halfway. Like I’m doing all these things and then she’s also doing all these things. It’s like a real friend. Like she’s just there. She’s like, “Listen, if you’re going to do this and this and this, I won’t do this and this and this anymore. I’m not going to cause you pain and trouble.”
Yeah. So that’s all been very beautiful and a very beautiful journey. And it’s an interesting thing because once you step on this journey, then you suddenly start seeing all these other people that have also been doing it. Because now like even my algorithm knows, like on Instagram, I get a lot of women that are also free bleeding and doing this and honoring that. I was just like, “This is so beautiful.”
Yeah.
KIM: Yeah, that’s beautiful. How else did the sexual energy piece play into it for you? Because I talk about one of the most powerful experiences is sharing period sex with your partner. When that portal opens and you, once you’re tuned into it, start to get all of these psychedelic downloads and messages and like you said, divine inspiration.
Then I found personally that then when I share that with my partner, it just amplifies the sexual experience tenfold. I would say some of the most powerful sex I’ve ever had has been on my period, because we’re sharing that open pathway together.
When the partner is really energetically open and present and fully accepting of period sex, they don’t have any issues with it or any inhibitions, it’s a really potent, sacred experience.
I think that even adds to this whole next level—what are the mysteries that are really available? Because I think so much of the pain and the repression which you’ve also spoken to, is from avoiding the period and not really owning it, trying to smooth over it, ignore it, override it.
Yet when we fully open to it, we see that it’s this massive channel for so many gifts that are available and just waiting for us. Those symptoms or pain are like a knock, knock, knock, “Hey, put your attention here because there’s some really good stuff here for you to see.”
So what can you share with me about that? When you’ve let people into that space with you in a conscious way?
TIA: Oh my god, I have so much to share. Yeah, thanks for directing me in this way.
First of all, I actually—that was one of my decision makers when it came to partners. Like I often had conversation with guys beforehand and kind of like, “You know, what do you think about having sex on period?” And if they were like fully in it, I was like, “Okay, we can go on a second date.” If they were like, “Oh, no,” I was like, “Okay, bye. See you never.” [Laughs]
Literally when I was in that dating phase, that was like one of my criteria. I was like red flag, red flag, doesn’t like periods, red flag. [Laughs] Yeah, it was like one of the things for sure.
Then actually, after the breakup with my boyfriend, because he also wasn’t so much into period sex, I was also like, “Okay, I can let this one go.” I attracted like a really, really amazing man that just went down on me immediately, like when I was on first day of period. Like a whole massacre going on down there and he’s like in it, like, “Ahhh,” completely like—until his nose, everything is red, and I’m just like, “Fuck, yeah, like this is how it should be. He has to love me with all of my juices and all of my smells and all of my—everything that’s coming out. Tears, period, squirt, all of it.”
So yeah, he really opened the whole never level door for me and I was just like, yeah, if any future guy doesn’t reach this level, I’m just like, “I think we’re just not interested.”
So yeah, that’s the first thing that I wanted to share and it’s like a very important criteria in my dating world.
Then the second thing I wanted to share, as you always say, your cervix is only open during your ovulation and your period. I actually had my first cervical orgasm during my period. It was the most beautiful thing in the world. I think because you are so open, like everything is coming out of you.
If in that moment, someone penetrates you, that loves you and is connected to you, then all the factors are just like [ticking off boxes]. Because I think for cervical orgasm you have this tick box. Like there has to be so many things that align.
Like with period sex, there is, because I’m already super open, I’m already super emotional, and if at that time my partner also matches this energy—which he does—then—poof—you have a cervical orgasm and it’s just beautiful. Then the tears come, and the connection comes and everything is just so, so, so beautiful.
Yeah, that’s just one of the things. I love period sex. Not just because of the cervical orgasm, but everything like just, I don’t know, also the—in the beginning, even before I get it, when the cramps start, I’m just like, “Okay, I need to get some sexual energy moving right now [laughs] so everything moves down there as well.” Because if I have even a clitoral orgasm, if I have it, helps.
Because it’s like, okay, I had a few times that she would be late and I would be like, “Damn it, like where is she? I must not be pregnant now.” But I never was. There was never a moment where anything happened. She was just a bit—taking her time. So I was like, “Okay, I have to do something.”
So I would have like a clitoral orgasm, and I already felt things moving down there because it’s just like a little explosion inside. I would like knock on her door a bit, like, “Yo, come.” [Laughs]
And then if you have sex with your partner or just kissing, cuddling, if he touches me on my hips or on my ass or if he gives me kisses on the neck or down there, it’s all stimulation. It’s all sensation. So she reacts to it. She’s like, “Oh, okay, I’m loved, I’m safe, I’m comfortable. I don’t need to be cramped. I don’t need to be in this stress respite.”
KIM: Right. Yeah.
TIA: “Where I do not feel taken care of.” That’s basically it. With this I really want to start talking about feminine energy as well because this is another thing that played such a huge role in my whole period journey because I believe until I met you and your work, I’ve been in masculine energy my whole life. Like really just like planning, organizing, doing in control, obsessive, no letting go, no surrender, no femininity, no “Let me be guided, take me,” like none of that. [Laughs]
Like the more I honor my femininity and the more I attract things, I just am, and I hold the space, and I am there, the more—like the less cramps I have as well and the easier the periods are.
I’ve done this, of course, through your work, and I see also a difference like in summer and winter. My worst periods are always in winter because I feel a little bit less feminine in winter because I have to wear this like jacket and long pants. In summer, I’m half naked walking around like a diva. [Laughs] I just feel like so more powerful and I’m really embodying this whole flowery, flower energy, like very feminine and gentle.
So yeah, that’s another thing. I will probably come back to this because I have some more thoughts, but I also wanted to say that it’s not only me, but I also have friends who experience less cramps when they have less sex with their boyfriends. So it is a real thing. [Laughs] It’s not just one person.
KIM: How did you describe that friend of yours? Because you described her in a particular way. [Laughs]
TIA: Oh, yeah, yeah, she’s hilarious. First I want to tell a story about my cramp reduction and then I will get into her story.
Basically the first time I started thinking about—it was right after Vaginal Kung Fu actually. I was in South Africa and—well, I met my boyfriend at that time, and it was the first time that we got sexual and it was my first day of period. We were in the car, and I was like, “Oh, shit, she came.” And I was like, “Oh, no, my evening is going to be ruined now.”
Turn of events! We started kissing and he started touching me and—poof—all the cramps were gone. I was like free bleeding and he’s back—they’re very like natural and open about these things in South Africa. Well, the locals, like the blacks.
So I was just amazed and in awe and he was like touching my belly and kissing me everywhere and there was so much tension in the air and—poof—my cramps just gone, everything just disappeared, and I was like, “What the fuck just happened? I feel nothing.” And at that time, I was like, “Oh, like I just have to have sex and be lovey-dovey with my partner.” If this whole energy is like sexual energy, it’s procreative energy, it’s period energy, it’s all the same thing actually, just like wrapped up in different masks and boxes.
So yeah, that was the first thing. Then basically, I’ve been also like self—when we broke up and I had been self-pleasuring a lot as well with Akasha and Anahata and I was just like, “Ooh, [laughs] let’s get this over with.” They’re so beautiful when they bleed as well. Like the dildos when you bleed on them, they get an extra color.
Oh, and I started to do it with bleeding, yoni gazing as well, when I’m bleeding. That’s the most beautiful thing in the world. I’ve tried to take a picture of it with my phone but it’s impossible because you have like a mirror and the phone and it’s like hard to zoom. Because then I print it and put it in my journal, so I have like a whole thing.
But yeah, the most beautiful thing. Actually, one of the girls in one of the group chats or the Inner Circle recommended it. I was like, “Oh, I have to try that.” I did it and I was like—I saw her and for the first time, I was like, “She is so beautiful.”
I mean, first I did yoni gazing without—there are so many layers to her. If you haven’t yet, get your mirror and do it tonight because it’s the most beautiful thing ever. She has rooms and a mirror; it’s like a never-ending castle. You can just open the doors to like infinity.
Then I also did it when she was bleeding and it’s just the most beautiful thing because you see where it comes from and then it flows down to your anus and it’s just like, “Oh my god.” It’s like with squirting but just different because it’s colored. It’s like this whole period thing, the redness and so raw and natural, it’s like I’m an animal but I’m also this intelligent human. It’s so beautiful.
So yeah, that’s pretty much it. Then with my friend—I’m going very well chronologically now actually because first I had this whole free bleeding and yoni gazing and then my friend.
We went to Croatia together in the summer. She has a boyfriend, and they live together, and they are like together all the time, and they have a lot of sex. A lot of sex. I think she has more sex than me, it’s actually crazy. [Laughs]
She came to spend some time with me in Croatia because we also needed some quality time. She was without her boyfriend for like two days and she got her period, and she doesn’t use like tampons or pads. She’s also just free bleeding all over. She puts her finger in her vagina, she’s like, “Oh, she came,” and she puts a dress. She’s like bleeding a bit and she wipes it away with the ocean. It’s like all natural. Especially in summer because like you’re swimming all the time and then the ocean just washes it and then you come out and it’s just the best thing.
So she got her period, and I was like, “You have your period, do you want to rest?” She’s like, “No, no, it’s all good.” Because she doesn’t really have cramps at all. Like ever since she started dating him the cramps are just not there. She was like, “No, let’s do this and let’s do that.”
Then after two hours she starts feeling like cramps and like a bit like moody and like, “Oh.” I’m like, “Oh, what’s happening?” And then she’s like, “Yeah, I think I just want to rest,” and I’m like, “Yeah, of course. You have to rest on your first day of period.”
And then she has a moment and she calls her boyfriend and she’s like, “Baby, I have cramps again after like a year and a half. You know why? Because you’re not fucking me right now.” And then she calls him, and she tells him that. I’m like, “Oh my god, yes, that’s exactly it.” We had like a moment. She was like, “Oh, fuck, like now I have to go through this pain alone. Like where’s my man when I need him?”
We started making all these jokes about it, yeah. Then she was fine after like a day or two but it’s like she forgot how cramps felt because she hasn’t felt them in such a long time because they live together so they’re making love every day, many times a day.
You should interview her one time. I think it would be an amazing conversation.
And yeah, that’s basically the story. I was just like, “Oh my god, people around me are also experiencing this. How awesome is that? Like that’s the most beautiful thing ever.”
Then when it comes to me and my current partner now, the love of my life, we have been doing long distance since recently. We just moved in together and it’s finally a new chapter, but when we were doing long distance, we didn’t see each other like super often. Like sometimes we would go for like a month without seeing each other and I could—because I’m tracking my cycle, I’m journaling, I’m writing everything down, I could see the difference between those months where we spend the majority of time together, had lovey-dovey, kissing, cuddling, making love, and those where I spent it alone. Like I would have much worse cycles where I was not with my partner and doing all these things.
Because yes, you always say you can also be very well fucked when you’re single. I completely agree. But once you get a partner and if you have a partner, get a bit lazy. Like, “Oh, but I have a partner, why do I have to do these things alone? Like he has to, you know?” It’s my uterus but it’s his uterus also because it’s going to be his baby one day so it’s his responsibility to make the cramps go away. Like he knows it’s hers, it’s his responsibility as well.
So yeah, that’s another thing. And I’m really excited now that we live together because we can just connect all the time and be together and it’s so beautiful. Actually, just like two days ago when I came back, we had the most beautiful lovemaking in the world. I have never felt him like I felt him two days ago and he needed—he was just like, “I feel you everywhere in the body,” and I was like, “Yeah, me, too.” Every cell would—I wouldn’t feel him just like in this part, but like also just everywhere. He was completely—we were completely one. I never felt anything like that before, it was so beautiful.
So yeah, that’s basically what I wanted to say about that topic. Yeah.
KIM: I love it. I mean, I agree that when you’re with the partner then they become part of that repertoire of self-care and sexual-care, and your connection is so wound up in them. But yes, I still think that these states are possible single, but of course they get amplified and go much farther with a very compatible partner. An on-the-same-page kind of partner, for sure.
TIA: Yeah, 100%. And I also wanted to say this as well: When I broke up with my last boyfriend, I had a conscious celibacy of two years. But it wasn’t conscious at the time because I haven’t had met you yet. So I was just like, “I’m just not going to have any—” I said it in the last podcast also—“I’m just not going to have any sexual contact with anyone, not even my fingers.”
That is when my periods got actually like much worse and pretty bad. That’s when I started fainting and puking and everything. So it could be connected as well because I had been having sex for two years and a half before and then I completely stopped it. Like no touching, no self-pleasuring, no nothing. So I think it could be connected as well.
Then when I met you and started doing your things, I also got more—because if you’re touching yourself down there all the time and massaging your breasts and everything, of course your uterus is also like, “Oh, okay, we’re in our bodies, we are feeling ourselves. That’s good,” she responds to it. So yeah, that’s just another thing.
KIM: Yeah. I’d say that being celibate without regenerating your sexual energy and circulating it in any way isn’t really conscious celibacy. It’s a default celibacy just not having sex but that’s where people get into trouble, is then their sexual energy inverts on them and all these kinds of symptoms happen of being under-fucked.
Where even if you’re self-pleasuring, yoni gazing, using the jade egg, all these things then combine to resuscitate and harness that sexual power and energy so we can be sexually fulfilled but also don’t end up with those reproductive symptoms of stuck sexual energy.
Because my view is that all reproductive symptoms are representing stuck sexual energy. That’s it. Period. Period.
TIA: Yeah. [Laughs] And actually at that time, when I was in the celibacy, before I met you, I think it was a good decision for me at the time because otherwise I would just have had one-night-stands and would get like extremely emotionally damaged, so it was better.
But then when I met you, I was like, “Oh my god, I’ve been doing it all wrong. Like I’ve been suppressing my sexual energy by not like kissing anyone or doing—” and it was a good decision, but I should have been self-pleasuring myself.
Then when I started doing all this with your work, I was like, “Oh, wow, like that’s amazing.” I’m such a sexual creature and I’m such a sexual being, I need to be doing these things.
Then you introduced me to the conscious celibacy, and I was like, “Oh, I should have been doing that.” So I did two years of just celibacy, but it’s fine. Yeah. Because the minute I started doing your work there was no more celibacy. There was like ten men in the line waiting for me to become their girlfriend, so I could just choose. [Laughs]
But like that’s another thing, if you’re not sexual with yourself, you’re not attractive because there’s no sexual energy around you. So none of the partners is attracted to it. None of the men smell, they’re not like, “Mm, she’s a worthy partner,” it’s just not all there because you like—like you have so many of these women that are like completely under-fucked and you can just see because they’re not in this chemistry, in this energy. They don’t smell like—people do not—like right now I cannot—with men, just like get them off because I’m with my boyfriend and we have so much sexual energy happening and so much chemistry and so much love, people pick up on it and they want to be a part of it also. Like they flirt.
It’s so crazy because now they flirt more with me than when I was doing the celibacy where I had the opportunity to date and to try it out. And now when I’m taken, I have all of these opportunities. I’m like, “No, like I’m not interested at all.” But back then I would have been, but no one was interested in me because I didn’t do anything sexually myself.
And we are such sexual creatures, it’s so important. It’s the lifeforce energy. When you said that, when you were like, “This is lifeforce energy,” I was like, “Oh, no fucking way, she’s right. Like that’s so true.” Lifeforce energy, it’s the energy of life. You wake up because of that energy. You were born because of that energy. It’s everything. It’s the whole thing. It’s what makes you stand up in the morning. It’s what makes you alive. That’s why you can walk and breathe and do everything. It’s the energy that runs your life.
People are like, “Oh, yes, sex, 10% of my life, or like 5%.” Fuck, it’s like everything. It’s 100%.
KIM: And that’s how strong the programming is, to separate people from that energy that’s so naturally a part of us. It’s free, it’s accessible. That the programming has to be so strong to squelch that and damage that in people, which I think is also the modus operandi behind damaging deliberately abusing people and violating them so that they become so separated from that energy that they can’t access it. It’s completely distant from them in their own bodies, which is ironic and really sad.
TIA: You know what? The most interesting part, which you also highlight many times, like sex is everywhere. It’s everything. But this platonic, superficial, on-the-surface-level sex, and what I’ve been feeling my whole life, I felt like a ho for my first, I don’t know, four sexual years. When I first had sex at like 14 until 18, or like until I met you, actually, like always—like people have told me that I’m addicted to sex, that I’m too sexual, that I need sex too much. I was always like, “What the fuck?” Like it’s everywhere. Everyone’s doing it. But once I voice it, once I get a bit flirty with the men, once I want it, once I say, “Oh, yeah, I want to be tied up,” then it’s like, “Oh, you’re a ho, you’re a slut.”
Then if I wasn’t a—if I didn’t have a character that I have and if I didn’t have such a big backbone, I would already collapse and I would be like, “Yeah, oh, I’m a slut, I don’t want to be called a slut.” I want to be called a slut now in bed all the time. Like, “Baby, call me slut. I love it.” But like at that time it was such a bad word. All the girls around you, they’re like, “Oh, yeah, we have sex like once a month.”
Like there was one friend I had, and she was like, “I’m not going to have sex until I’m 18.” And I’m like, “What the fuck is wrong with you?” Like you can’t age bear this. Just have sex when it feels right. Like you can’t be like, “I’m going to be 18 because otherwise I’m going to be a ho before.” What? And this is not even like no Christianity, no church, it’s just like the upbringing. Complete crazy.
So yeah, thanks for not making me feel like a nympho. It’s just normal energy that it’s out there and we should be using it all the time.
KIM: Of course. So is there anything else that you’d like to add that you think we haven’t spoken about?
TIA: Well, there is one major event that happened during my last cycle, like not when I had my period. The last time. It was around 20 days ago, and I told you that like—okay, when I started doing this work and everything, I think I had like four cycles where I almost didn’t feel anything, like it was completely without pain. But this last cycle was a cycle for history, like for the history record, I have to write it down. [Laughs]
I actually have the date written down because I was on this surf trip and she was late because I was traveling and usually when I travel—yeah, she doesn’t feel comfortable to come because it’s not a normal environment for her. So she was a bit late and then I was already surfing and being very active.
Then one day she came, and she came when I was in the middle of the ocean, on my surfboard, with my instructor, and I just start feeling a little bit of like cramps. I’m like, “Hm.” But I’d been feeling this already for the past two days, so I was like, “She’s on the way.” But I didn’t think that she’s that “stupid”—quote marks—in my opinion at the time, that she would come in the middle of the water. Because I was kind of scared, like I also heard like sharks will come and eat you if you bleed in the water. [Laughs] Stupid things like that. So I was like, “Oh, she better not come when I’m surfing,” but she did. She showed me that it’s a completely natural and normal thing.
She just came and I felt so open, Kim. I was penetrated by the ocean around me, by the waves crashing on me, by my uterus bleeding out of me. I was just like, “Wow!” [Laughs] In the midst of everything, in this hurricane, it felt amazing.
Then I just finished the whole session. Like I was surfing with my period and then on that day, she showed me that you don’t actually have to stop living your life if she comes, we just have to be in sync and in tune. Then we can like hold each other’s hand and walk happily through life when I listen to her and when she listens to me.
And then I came home, and I was just like I put a pad on, and I was like, “Oh, that is amazing.” I was about to cancel my lesson because we had another one—or I don’t even remember how it went—but I just know that I was like, “Oh, fuck, now I can’t surf for a week.”
But then I went surfing again, like I don’t know, the next day or the day after. Maybe I gave myself like one day of rest. But I was surfing like full on with my period. Did not use tampons, did not use pads, I just—I had a pad before I went to the water. I pulled it off, I put my swimsuit on, I wiped it a bit, I went in, and then every time we were waiting for a wave, I just went under the water, and I was like cleaning her a bit. [Laughs] Then I went back on the surf. [Laughs] It was the best thing ever!
Then another thing that actually happens for me at least, and I’ve also posted about it on my TikTok, when I was in Curacao doing this dolphin-assisted therapy with children, I also got my period and we literally—we lived on a boat so you could just into the water and swim. I was like, “I’m not going to use a tampon to swim in front of my house, literally, for like two minutes, and then come out and shower anyway.” So I just did not use tampons.
I swam through the water, and I came out and I was so scared that I was going to be very dirty and bleed, and I didn’t. I was like, “What the fuck?” Then I start researching and the water makes so much pressure around that it actually stops your bleed. Especially if it’s cold water.
So when I went under the shower, I still didn’t get her. Like she was just—she just stopped for a moment. Then when I came out, when I wiped, when I put my clothes on, then that’s when she relaxed and she came again.
So actually, not in 100% all the cases, because then when I was surfing, you were surfing for three hours, of course she has to bleed a little bit in between, but if you go for a quick swim, you don’t need a tampon, you just go. Just go and then come out.
Also, like one thing that I absolutely hate and I’m still learning how to get rid of it, it’s this fear of being judged if someone sees that you have a blood or a period stain. Like why the fuck do we live in a society where people judge—like you know when girls are walking and they’re like, “Oh, please check my ass, do you see like a stain there?” Why do we do it? So what if it’s a stain? Like we all bleed. Like it’s a normal thing.
Now even like—I’m like, oh, then I did like a little bit of a free-diving trip, like two days after I got my period when I was in Curacao and I was like, usually—normally, I would not go. But at that time, I was just like, “Let’s just go. Like fuck this shit. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. I’m just going to go.”
Then we went free diving. Everything was fine. I come out of the water, and I start like, you know, after five minutes, bleeding a bit. So my leg was a bit red. One person was like, “Oh, Tia, you’re bleeding.” I was just like, “Oh, yeah.” At first I wanted to say like I cut myself but then I was like, “Oh, yeah, I’m on my period.” They were like, “Oh, you’re on your…” and you see this confused face and I’m just like, “Yeah, yeah.”
But if you own it completely and if you normalize it yourself, then they also normalize it because they mirror your behavior. But if you go, if your response is like, “Oh, yeah, oh my god, I’m so sorry, I didn’t want you to see this, yeah. It’s my period blood, it’s so embarrassing,” then of course they’ll be like, “Yeah, like why are you talking about it? Why are you talking about this? Oversharing.”
Because I’ve had this so many times as well. I’m so blunt and honest and open about it when people are like, “How are you today?” I’m just like, “I’m so happy, my period came, I’m on my first day of period.” And then people are like, “Oh, that’s like too much information, oversharing.” I’m like, “Oh, but you asked how I am. This is how I am. This is how I am feeling. It’s my major event today, my period came. It’s the most important thing of the day.”
And yeah, I just love it when I share these things with people and branding my—brand group right now, but when I share it with people and they’re just like, “Oh, yeah, amazing. I felt so cleansed the last time I got it.” Or if a man is like, “Oh, yeah, really?” Even if they say some stupid bullshit like, “Oh, do you need chocolate?” I’m like, “No, I don’t need chocolate. Get fucked.” [Laughs] At least it’s like something good that they’re trying to like halfway not—just like disgusted, grimace face and then they’re like, “Oh, oversharing.”
What the fuck? It’s the same blood as the blood from your scar except it has like stem cells in it and a lot of iron and a lot of good things for you.
But yeah, that’s another thing that I wanted to share. Oh, and also diet. I’ve changed a lot of diet. I know you’re also carnivore now, I saw it on your new @anamistyle account on Instagram. Loving it by the way, so beautiful.
I eat a lot of red meat one week before I get my period, just a lot of steak. Oh, another thing I want to mention before, but you know when I told you in the beginning, beginning when I had my cycle, and I would do a lot of sit-ups because I didn’t honor my period. Then I would get this like big pile of blood coming out of me on the shower? Like that’s actually where like two weeks after we would go—you have this yearly medical check-ups with schools and we went to do this medical check-up. The chick there was like, “Oh, yeah, you’re deficient in iron.” And I was like, “Oh, really, how so?” And she was like, “Yeah, like how are your periods?” And I’m like, “Oh, I just lost like a size of a volleyball of blood last time I was bleeding but I’m fine.”
Then she completely scared me. She was like, “Oh, yeah, this must be it. You have lost a lot of storage of iron now.” Bitch should have just told me to eat steak, but she was literally—she prescribed pills for me, of course, iron pills or something. Then I took them, I puked them out again, because my body was like, “We’re not eating this.”
I’m just so in tune now that my body just pukes shit out. It’s not good for me. It’s like, “Seriously, you thought this would pass, you thought this would go through? It’s not going to—blah.” You can’t—how do you say—you can’t bring me around?
KIM: You can’t fool me.
TIA: You can’t fool me, exactly. [Laughs] My body is too smart for that. Yeah, then I remember getting these pills, I was like, ugh, blah, blah, blah. Now I’m eating steak, and I just feel—yeah, it’s just amazing. And I crave steak as well because my body is like, “Yo, we’re—” My periods are heavy. I’m not going to lie. I’m a big girl, I have a lot of hips, big uterus, I know I’m going to have a big baby once I’m pregnant, and there’s a lot of blood there to protect and to nurture the baby once it’s in. So I’m loosing a lot of blood and it’s normal that my body needs the replacement of the iron so it actually like signals to me already one week—when I start craving steaks, that’s when I know, I’m like, “Okay, I’m like at my period, soon.”
If I eat a lot of it, again, my periods are a bit easier. If I don’t, if I’m only on chicken or other things, then they’re a bit heavier.
So that’s another thing that I changed and that I see a benefit in, yeah.
I love it like when you ask me a question and then so many train of thoughts happen and then I get into it. Especially when I’m on my period, I get so many things—I wish there was like a thing that you could fill, a packet to write your notes down because my pen cannot handle the—it cannot follow the creative flow that I get when I’m on my period.
KIM: Uterus to paper app.
TIA: Yes. [Laughs]
KIM: [Laughs] Uterus voice dictation.
TIA: Yeah, exactly. Oh my god. Yeah, but I don’t know. And I guess I mean—I guess the world is kind of afraid to have women in sync with their bodies and in sync and loving their periods. Like they want you to take the pill. They want you to be dependent on a system. They want you to go to gynecologist and buy these painkillers.
Oh, now also another thing I’ve been doing. It’s like all of my friends that are still on birth control, I’m like microprogramming them that they need to get off it. Then like one of my friends recently went off and like I was so happy. It was like a whole event, like the crowd for dinner. I was like, “To us, to our universe!” It was so beautiful.
Well, she broke up with her boyfriend, so she was like, “No sex anymore,” so she went off. But just the fact that she went off after, I don’t know, six years, fucking amazing, so I was really happy about that. Yeah, now she’s asking me all these questions, like, “Yeah, but my period is going to come now. I don’t know how that is.”
And like another thing, I recently learned about this, but if you’re on birth control, artificial birth control, you are not actually having period. It’s just like this withdrawal bleed. I’m not sure what it is, actually, but it makes so much sense because it’s just you’re bleeding but it’s not period. So your body is actually completely—it’s like not sweating. You know how some people don’t sweat? So when you’re doing all the things, your body is not actually cooling off and not letting the toxins out if you’re not sweating. It’s the same with birth control. Everything is just there.
And you feel okay but you’re actually just numb. Like everything is just under the surface about to pop out. And it doesn’t come out because of all the hormones that you’re taking but it does come out in other ways ten years after.
KIM: Sure, exactly. I remember I was only on the pill for two years of my teenage life and when I went on it, I bled like almost a hemorrhage. Like talk about bleeding in public. I was on a bus with my boyfriend at the time and sitting down, it was a long bus ride, maybe an hour, and I got up, and the whole—my whole ass was like bloody. The skirt I was wearing, the seat was bloody. I was like, “Oh my god, what just happened?” So all this blood just got saved up over whatever it was, two years I was on the pill, that’s all I’ve ever been on it in my life, and then just poured out of me. That’s when I knew.
Like I can’t even remember what prompted me to get off it. It was just some intuitive nudge. I didn’t have any information or guidance around it. I just felt like I wanted to get off it. Then when I saw that, that affirmed to me, okay, I shouldn’t—I’m not going back in this direction and so onward and upward from here.
But yeah, I mean, I love that story of you taking her out to dinner and celebrating like this rite of passage for women of coming off the pill. When you think about how much effort goes into all of these rites of passage for women, whether it’s their period, the menopausal transition, becoming a mother, like all of these things are so layered over with programming and pain and suffering and taken away from women. The pure, natural experience, the pure portal opening of these moments is robbed of women. Unless they can poke through this conditioning or they have some kind of, like you say, eureka moment about what is really underneath there, that’s available to them, then they go through their entire lives without having it. Without ever knowing this part of themselves, this access to inner dimensions that’s part of being a woman. It’s the natural state of being a woman is having this access.
In cultures throughout the world, they describe often, like in religious context, how women lead men home to God. Because women are naturally connected to these inner planes, to these inner states of consciousness via their uterus. It’s the pathway, the doorway between life and death, between this dimension and other dimensions. So we are that gatekeeper, and we have that inner knowledge of how to transverse and go through these different states. We guide, the feminine guides the man into these places.
But to have all of these things then layered over that knowledge and that innate wisdom, the women are so massively disconnected from it and suffering.
It’s not that these things actually make them suffer, as the way you described it, it’s the lack of awareness that they have this power, that they have these connections within themselves. That’s what creates the pain and then putting medication on top of that just exacerbates the pain or diverts it into other areas that become giant explosions of pain and suffering and clinical diagnoses down the road.
TIA: And this is what you’ve always learned as well. I think it’s one of the things that stayed the most in my head. Like you have to get to the root cause always. There’s always a message behind the pain. Always a message behind any of the symptoms. That’s what I’ve been feeling with my period, with my sexual frustration, with everything.
And as you said, getting off of your birth control as well. It’s like this intuitive call. We all have this knowledge inside of us, we are just deaf to hear it because of the programming that we’ve been getting our whole lives.
So when you really listen to yourself intuitively or if you have like a nudge, like you did, or my friend, Masha [phonetic], broke up and she’s like, “Okay, I’ll just do it,” it’s like this inner voice telling you this.
The natural state is the best state. Like God does not mistakes. I’m not religious but universe, God, energy, whatever, it’s created as in the best possible way so we can exist on this earth in this body. So why do you want to alter it? Why do you want to feed it things that it doesn’t need?
Even when people get sick they take all these medications. Or with coffee, oh my god, don’t get me started on this. People are tired and then they drink coffee and then they’re suddenly, magically not tired anymore. Are you kidding me? You’re still tired, you just masked your tiredness. You masked it over, you put something, a smiley over it, and it doesn’t mean that you’re not tired anymore, it’s actually worse. Because as with my period, if I take a painkiller, I think I don’t have pain. The pain is still there actually. I continue living my life as if I did not have pain. Same with coffee. As if you were not tired, you continue living your life. So you override it. You override yourself.
People forget how it feels when they are not drinking coffee, and they don’t even know how it feels to be actually rested anymore.
Like they forget the feeling. So they are just on it, on it, on it constantly.
You mentioned this recently, like when you go to bed before midnight, every hour doubles. What people do, like they work until—or work or play video games or jerk off on porn, I don’t know what—until super late in the day, super late in the night, and then they wake up at 6 and they’re like, “I can’t even function without my espresso shot and they’re like, I’m all right now, everything is good.”
You do not need anything. You do not need any external substance for your life to be beautiful and powerful and amazing because everything you need is right inside of you and you just have to listen to your inner guidance and your intuition and when you do and when you tune in, you don’t need any of that shit.
It’s so amazing to look at all of my friends and beautiful people around me slowly quitting these things, like my friend’s birth control. My boyfriend recently quit coffee. If he ever has the urge to drink it, I just give him a look like, “Babe, you really don’t need it. We’re just going to go to that early today, you don’t need it at all.”
KIM: I thought you were going to say you open your legs and tell him to come and eat your pussy for some energy.
TIA: [Laughs] Yeah. He could also do that, obviously. Oh my god, he recently drank my squirt for the first time. He loved it so much. Period sex, no problem, everything no problem. But with squirting he was a bit like, “Hm.” And I eat his come all the time and I like it. I’m like, “Baby, I’m into it and you need to be as well.”
So now recently he did, and he loved it, he was like, “Oh, you taste like the ocean.” I’m like, “Yeah, right.” I am the ocean. [Laughs]
Yeah, but he needs my refueling energy. Like to be honest, we don’t even need to do groceries, we just need each other. We can just eat each other the whole day. That’s beautiful.
KIM: At the highest level, I agree.
TIA: Yeah. [Laughs]
KIM: Amazing. Well, thank you, Tia. I’m so glad to have heard your story and the evolution and all the insights that come so people can relate to and understand the journey of going from a place of having this adversarial relationship with their periods, with themselves really, with their own body. Then moving through that to get to this place of real unification. Having this love affair with your body and this beautiful, intimate communication with your body and your uterus and these higher-level messages coming through. So well done.
TIA: Yeah. What you just said about the love affair, I feel like your period is really like your best extra friend. If you start getting to know her, she’s going to start getting to know you and you’re going to have a friend there always. She’s going to be more present once a month for that five, six days, but she’s always actually there, always listening, always taking in everything that you do throughout the month. As I said before, progress report card at the end. You will really see like if you’ve been nourishing yourself, if you’ve been honoring yourself as a female, as a feminine energy, and yeah, it’s the most beautiful thing.
And just to all the women listening to this, I just want you to know, if you have painful periods, please do not eat painkillers. It’s the worst thing you can do. Just try to listen to her. She’s there to communicate something with you. There’s things from past lives probably that also might have had a cause in this lifetime.
That is actually a very good thing that I can also share and it’s a nice conclusion. I actually went to one of those card readings, like angel card readings, and looking into your past lives. I was asking about my period pain and why is it there and what can I do? She said if I’ve been, I think, three or four lives ago I’ve been stabbed into my uterus when I was pregnant and I lost the baby, and that’s still a trauma that I was not able to heal in the past three lives after. So it is one of the things that I need to do this lifetime.
That’s why she’s so loud and that’s why it’s so painful because that trauma has been sitting there for three lives after it and I have not healed it and have not removed it and I have to work through it this lifetime. And it’s a beautiful project for this lifetime that I can just work on and go through it.
But when I heard that, my whole body got goosebumps and I was like, “It must be true, otherwise the goosebumps wouldn’t be there right now,” and I felt like something just went through me. Like now sometimes when I talk to my uterus and when I tell her that she can be open with me and be loud with me, I can literally feel all of the women that I have been, like setting their hands on me. If I do like a meditation and I just close my eyes and I zoom out or I go a bit out of my body, I can feel all of the women and my mother and my grandmother and my great-grandmother, and everyone with a uterus around me because we are all actually just one energy and they’re just there honoring and helping me get through this.
You’re never alone as well, that’s the beautiful thing. Like if you’re following Kim’s courses or salons right now, she has been in my ears for like two years constantly. Like all the podcasts and salons. I listened to all the things. When I was in my celibacy, there was no flirting going on, so I just went through all the things. And there’s always women going through the same things and you just have to find your people, but you have to start stepping on the path. Then when you do, like you attract all of these beautiful things around you as well.
So yeah, I hope your next cycle is amazing and that you learned something today.
KIM: Thank you, Tia.
TIA: Thank you, Kim.
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The Well-F**ked Woman Salon is coming soon!
Tia started her Anami journey in this salon.
In this 10-week online program, you’ll learn all the tools you need to channel your sexual energy and use it for it’s true purpose: as pro-creative energy you can use to heal, alchemize and build your life and body with.
You’ll learn:
– How to attain the deeper vaginal orgasms: G-Spot, cervical and squirting
– Self-pleasuring 101 and how to channel sexual energy into creative genius and cash that falls into your lap
– How to transform challenging menstruation, PMS and menopause into blissful portals
– Using your feminine essence to build a life of ease and pleasure
– Breast massage to tone, lift and activate the orgasmic potential of the breasts
– How to give your man enlightened blow jobs and hand jobs
The salon opens for registration at the end of this month. You can check out the free preview video series and be notified of when the doors open by going to kimanami.com. Look for Sexual Savant Salons and click on How to Be a Well-F**ked Woman.
