From Softcock to Supercock – Transcript
The cock is the ultimate barometer of the man.
When a man is fully occupying his masculine power and his sexual self, we see this reflected in his erection:
Strong. Unwavering. Solid. Rising to its full potential. Bursting at the seams.
When a man is shying away from his true nature and strength, we also see this in a cock that is limp, lifeless, unoccupied, soft and weak.
Like begets like.
Strong, sexually aware man = strong, sexually sentient cock.
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I’ve seen this correlation so much over the years and decades that I can confidently assert it as fact.
The man maketh the cock maketh the man.
As we watch men seize control of their own lives and fates, becoming cause, rather than effect, taking radical responsibility for their actions and decisions, bit by bit, right action by right action, he evolves from a softcock to Supercock.
A Supercock is an Anami term that probably means exactly what you might think it means:
I often say that Supercock status is unlocked when you are bending life over and fucking the shit out of it.
You’re grabbing it by the hair, sexy-choking it and purring and growling into its ear.
You are the master of all your domains.
Including your woman.
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Now, what makes a Supercock the stuff of legend?
Is it their size?
Physical size is always a bonus, but it’s not the determining factor.
The power, the strength, the legendary status is in the wielding.
Here are some qualities that Supercocks share:
Cock that can go the distance. These guys don’t stop until they get the job done.
That means countless hours on the job until they succeed.
Whether that job is the closing of a deal, or a new personal best, or tending to my vagina, they follow through.
They can fuck for—and want to fuck for—hours.
They realize the importance of fucking and sexual affection and a love connection to their success.
Like I say, it’s not that behind every good man is a woman.
Au contraire.
Behind every good woman is a man, on his knees, ferociously thrusting and giving her everything he’s got.
I’ve had Supercocks make love to me 10-15 times a night.
We would barely sleep, but be so energized from our sessions together.
They’d bound out of bed at 5 am, to rule empires and boardrooms all day and then meet me for dinner in the evening.
And then we’d do it all over again.
2. Focus and Drive
Supercocks are typically self-made.
They often have humble origins and show considerable gumption, determination and talent from an early age to go out and get what they want out of life.
They are the kinds of people who make their own rules.
And don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks about them.
Which makes them all the more attractive.
These men take over every room they’re in.
And you just succumb, because the charisma is so thick, so seductive, why would you say no?
Their cocks are like that too.
3. Consistent Fuck-Annihilation Ability
What is fuck-annihilation?
The ability and desire to fuck the shit out of your woman.
Literally.
When you really fuck-annihilate someone, you fuck their demons away.
You obliterate them with so much love, intensity and cock thrusting that nothing except for pure love and bliss can remain.
When your woman is antsy and what she really needs is for you to haul her into the bedroom and bend her over and slam her into the headboard until she cries tears of ecstasy, then you’ve done your duty as a man.
Eddie Murphy tells an amazing story in either Raw or Delirious about the proper annihilitic fucking of a woman.
When you are done, she ought to be on her knees, looking at you like you are God.
“WHOSE PUSSY IS IT?” he screams. “WHOSE PUSSY IS IT???”
“It’s your pussy,” she sobs. “It’s YOUR pussy!”
Yep. He’s earned it.
All of the Supercocks I’ve been with have been cock masters.
They had infinite and intuitive cock knowledge.
They were amazing at energetic sex, i.e., the ability to penetrate your lover without even physically touching them.
They were guys who had so honed their gut feeling in life and in their chosen arenas.
They also had the same kind of instinctual ability in bed.
Each of them was at the very top of their game professionally.
And sexually.
They pulled crazy, miracle- and odds-defying acts out of their back—or, ahem, front pockets—on a daily basis.
Stuff that goes against the laws of physics and nature.
Or utterly unites with them.
Effortlessly.
It’s just who they are.
The man begets the cock begets the man.
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Can this stuff be taught?
Are Supercocks born this way?
To some degree, maybe.
But what I’ve seen most is men building up the balls and courage and skill over a lifetime of being bold, taking chances and accumulating their victories.
And rising out of their defeats.
It’s all about being a masterful man.
In life and in sex.
In cock we trust.
*****
In today’s all-star interview, we have Ben.
Ben’s sexual history and family of origin story is… appalling.
It tugged at my heartstrings to hear it.
So to see where he’s come to in both his masculine power AND his cock power, is nothing less than amazing.
From Softcock to Supercock: A Journey of Masculine Sexual Power and Mastery
KIM: Hi, Ben.
BEN: Well, hello, Kim.
KIM: Great to see you. Thank you for being here.
BEN: Thank you. Thanks for having me.
Religious Upbringing and Shame
KIM: Let’s get a sense of where you were coming into this work and then where you’ve gotten to now and what has been some of the biggest breakthroughs along the way and biggest aha moments.
BEN: You want the big ones?
KIM: Yeah, I want the big ones.
BEN: That’s what she said. [Laughs]
KIM: [Laughs]
BEN: Okay. [Laughs] I’ll tell you this. Historically, like just being very strict Christian, I had a lot of shame and religious conditioning and cultural conditioning around sex being just not talked about. It’s not a thing. Like you only have sex to have kids, like which clearly is not really true, but that’s just a feeling that I think is there in some of these strict cultures.
The Only Acceptable Answer is “Fuck Yes”
I came to this work through my amazing, bad-ass girlfriend, who did VKF. She suggested Sexual Mastery for Men. I was like, “Yes, like really fuck yes, that sounds exactly like what I need.”
So when we first started dating almost a year ago, this is a little embarrassing, but we were in my kitchen once and like it was the first time she tried to give me a blow job, and I couldn’t feel anything. My cock was just numb.
We could circle back to like all of the energetic blocks and all of that kind of work, because that really is, I think, what really helped me, by the way, is clearing blocks, but it was just numb.
I tried to feel good. I tried to like enjoy it. And by the way, even numb, it’s still pretty fun, I got to say. But it’s numb and so you can’t feel shit.
KIM: So you’re receiving a blow job, probably an epic blow job, but you’re kind of like, “Eh, it’s good, but what’s all the fuss about?”
BEN: Yeah, yeah. It wasn’t really hard. Like my cock wasn’t—like it just—it was kind of like an absentee member of the party there and totally crushed her. She’s like in tears on the couch, I’m holding her going, “It’s okay, it’s not your fault.” She’s thinking I’m just not into her. We were always way into each other from like day one. I told you about our first date, like way into each other, but with some of her old stories and wounds, like she just interpreted this as I must just not be into her. My body is a barometer and she’s reading it going, “He’s just not into me.”
It was like a hard moment. Like a difficult kind of challenge right in the beginning, of, “No, no, no, this isn’t you. I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me.” I was like, “Let’s figure some shit out,” and that’s one of the reasons that kind of like launched me into a big desire to do Sexual Mastery for Men.
So I had already been poking around, looking at your website, listening to everything I could, but I was like, “I need some help there.”
That’s where it started. Then it just grew from there, quite literally, in every way. Like just grew from there.
Internalized Parental Messaging
I was always told growing up a couple things by my dad. One is that I’m ugly, and two, that I have a small penis.
KIM: What?
BEN: Pretty much daily, that is something my dad put in my head. He just verbally said that, and he said it was just to keep me humble. The problem is, I actually grew up believing it.
KIM: Well, why wouldn’t you, if you’re a child and your parent is telling you something so wildly inappropriate and sick. That’s so messed up.
BEN: Yeah. Yeah. No, it really is kind of f**ked up. It took a much bigger toll, honestly, than I think I ever realized. And so dating Christine has been like a gift because she tells the story in a really funny way. We were kind of dating, it was the first couple weeks, and she’s like kind of reaching down and grabbing my cock, and she was like so excited to find out that it wasn’t small.
I would say clear up until like maybe a month or two ago, I still believed it was, by the way. Like there was no way—I still don’t think I’m like a very good looking dude, but she thinks I am and that’s all that matters. Like I’m good with it.
“But it wasn’t until probably a month or two ago that I even kind of believed that like I didn’t have like the world’s smallest cock.”
So yeah, that just is part of what wreaked havoc in my acceptance of my own sexuality, sensuality, giving myself permission for sexual healing to actually enjoy sex, to love sex, to use it as like a beautiful tool and a transformative tool. Like none of that was even remotely on my radar or allowed.
Also, having sex with somebody you’re not married to, like that was a huge no-no like in my world. From my own world. And so there’s just a lot of shit in the beginning that like was kind of ugly.
However, like we were so into each other. Like our polarity is really f**king fantastic. We were so into each other that it just kind of like—we just kept at it. Yeah, so I did Sexual Mastery for Men, and then we did your couples course, Coming Together, and we just kept going.
And how can you mess with those things and like not f**k each other? Almost two hours later, we’re like, “F**k, we got to get up, we got to stop,” because like I get to get on this call, and she’s got a…
KIM: Had something to do. [Laughs]
BEN: Yeah. We f**ked for like two hours. [Laughs] Oh, bless her heart, she was like 15 minutes late to get her daughter from school, too. Like we just lost total track of time. But that is such a contrast to where we started and it’s like a huge testament really to your work and how transformative it can be.
Yeah, now I can absolutely receive blow jobs and feel them and love them.
“She can barely fit my cock in her mouth, and I guess I don’t have a small one. That’s really cool to know because I didn’t know. It’s not like I go around measuring that shit with people. Lots of positive reaffirmations from her to like really do that.”
Then this one time I got into like taking pictures while we’re f**king. That’s when it really clicked. We were in Puerto Rico for a sex week. We had a sex week in Puerto Rico. That’s when we made that painting that we showed you on the Zoom call. Do you remember that? [Laughs]
KIM: Yeah. [Laughs] Do you want to explain that at all?
BEN: Okay. [Laughs] We were in Puerto Rico, and we found ourselves with some advice from some locals like to this beach that no one goes to, so you have to hike like 45 minutes to get to it. We were there by ourselves, and I’m like, “If we’re by ourselves, baby, I am getting fucking naked, and this is going to be a naked beach today.” She was like, “F**k, yes,” because that’s who she is, and so we spent the day naked at the beach.
Before then we stopped at a little store and got paint because that just sounds fun. We would like paint the f**king sunset or something like that, right? But of course, we’re naked and I’m like, “You should paint my cock.” And she’s like, “Actually, let me just put paint on your cock and flop that thing on the canvas and make art that way.” I was like, “Okay.” [Laughs]
KIM: Cock paint, I love it.
BEN: [Laughs] Yeah, yeah. Pi-cock-so is what we called it, or something, yeah. So we have a new version of art in our house now that we like doing and that’s painting our body parts and putting it on canvas.
Yeah, so we’re doing this sex week, and we started, one of these times, we just—I had my phone, and I was like, “She’s just so sexy.” I was like, “Baby, I just want to like just set it over here.” There’s like a kink to that. Like is this dirty or is this kinky? And of course, it’s not, but, you know. And that’s exciting. I was like, “Yeah, let me just put this up here.”
So yeah, I mean, we fucked, and later I’m looking at that and I’m going, “Wow.” She’s like, “I told you. That thing’s giant.” And I’m like, “Okay. All right.”
Anyway, that helped. That whole process just helped.
KIM: I’ve heard this and experienced it with partners from more than one man, where they’re actually quite well-endowed, but they’ve never been adored by a woman, in their cock. They’ve never gotten the—and I’m like, “But you go to locker rooms, right? Don’t you look at the other men?” They’d be like, “Well, you don’t try to look at the other guys, right?” I’m like, “Really?” Because wouldn’t that be just so obvious off the bat?
And I suppose there’s this growers and showers idea, but it always surprised me to hear this, especially from these well-endowed guys. Almost more so. I don’t know why, then, guys with average or even below-average cocks, that didn’t know what they had. It was through my efforts in helping to love and adore and worship their cocks that they began to really inhabit it.
Then their own work of occupying their masculine energy and really showing up and inhabiting their cocks that they would grow to their full potential, and they could really own them.
But it amazes me that men can have that and what a thing it is for men in terms of their own self-judgement and self-internalized shame or loathing even around such things.
Take us through more of the process of coming from a place of being numb and not connected to and even having, worse than that, these really negative impressions attached to your cock to then owning it. Like what would you say were some significant steps along the way that helped you to get there?
BEN: Yeah, and I got to give her—and I appreciate what you said because it’s very true for us. One of the greatest things and the most impactful, I think, thing, would’ve been her consistent adoration and cock worship. That’s bigger than I think women can possibly understand, like of what that actually does for a man.
I would say it was kind of a deficit. Like I started probably in like a negative deficit of belief systems around my cock and so it took a hot minute, and it took some convincing.
But she just really loves my cock. Like I can’t think of a single time that we were fucking where she just isn’t just absolutely like raging about it.
KIM: What do you mean? Like she’s verbally—
BEN: Oh, yeah. Yeah.
KIM: —speaking about it?
BEN: Yeah.
KIM: Like how is she demonstrating her love for your cock?
BEN: I mean, like—can this be graphic? [Laughs]
KIM: Share as much as you like. [Laughs] Go for it.
She cannot have enough of my Cock
BEN: I mean, it’s verbal. Obviously, she’s demonstrating it physically, Kim, like with what she’s doing, but it’s very verbal. I mean, to feel her energy around it is one thing, but you can always question that later if you got a lot of negative deficit in the space, you can question that.
So to her great credit, like she’s very verbal about—we’re f**king and I’m penetrating her and she’s like, “God, I love your cock. It feels so good. Your cock feels so good in me,” over and over again.
But it’s also like authentic and you can feel the truth behind it and the authenticity behind it, and that just is like one of the most special things. I’m like, “Fuck, yeah, I’m going to keep f**king you with this thing then,” because she just cannot have enough of it. And that, with time and consistency, is probably one of the single biggest things.
Also, like this work, through the Anami-land of breaking down barriers and clearing blocks and the different modalities. God, like I’ve tried all of them over time, at least mostly, very diligently. I come from a really strict like endurance athlete background. I do ultra races of almost every kind. So that grit of just like not giving up and sticking with it has really helped because it’s not an overnight process. It just isn’t.
Taking it seriously and focusing on everything from the exercises that are prescribed in some of these programs to the healing modalities.
That’s been really, really helpful. Like that’s been helpful. Some stuff has been really helpful, which is energy work and like clearing out belief systems and healing around some of the trauma and the negative like deficit shit that I got from my dad. Like all of that was really helpful.
Your courses, unbelievably helpful with the opportunities to actually like take time to like look at those issues, contemplate them, like unpack them, dig them out, feel them, face them, confront them, all of that. Super, super helpful.
Then the opportunities to practice, like through your course there’s lots of opportunities to actually practice. To like be radically honest with your partner. Talk about things that you’re feeling or not feeling and why. And then to have the partner on the other end that’s just loving and accepting and supportive and like honest to God cannot get enough of your cock, like that is just a fucking amazing recipe for growth. Like quite literally growth.
KIM: Do you feel like you actually grew as well? Because I’d say a couple of the methods for growing, apart from literally doing cock-growing exercises, are 1) Having your woman love and adore your cock; and 2) When you begin to occupy it. If you’re someone who’s been dissociated from your cock and not connected to it, when you actually begin to own and occupy the cock, it grows. Like men stretched into their cocks.
BEN: Yeah. I didn’t have like a measurement before, and I wish I would have. That would’ve been a cool thing to like maybe kind of clue into a little earlier and I would’ve measured but like it definitely looks and feels much bigger.
KIM: Amazing. Thank you so much, Ben.
BEN: You’re welcome. It’s a pleasure.
***
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- Orgasms without ejaculation: every man can
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- Orgasmapedia: the guide to all female orgasms
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