I posted this list on Instagram last week, and it was one of my most popular posts EVER.
The amount of women sighing, getting wet, and asking me to create a dating service and list the Sexual Mastery for Men Salon alumni was off the charts.
Here’s a sampling of some of the several hundred comments:
“This is so dreamy. I’ll never settle for anything less.”
Fire emoji x 10.
“I’m aroused now.
Water emoji x 10.
“OMG this is perfect. Where can I get me one of these men?
“I think I may have had a mental orgasm reading and thinking about this.”
“There needs to be a dating site where men can show their graduation certificate from this course.” And 7 amens!
So, take it from some very wet and excited vaginas, that THESE are qualities women are aroused by in a man when it comes to his sexual prowess.
NUMBER 1: You have sexual skills. You study. You improve. You know there is always more to learn.
I have many women come to me and they want to invite their partners to go deeper, but rather than being excited to learn and study and expand their sexual repertoire, the man feels insulted or criticized that he is somehow lacking.
Or he’s just not into the idea of growing and expanding period. And this also applies to his sex life.
I often say there are two types of people in the world: Those who are interested in growing and evolving.
And those who are not.
Grow or die.
The second category really means that someone, if not committed to growth, is committed to stagnation.
And if you are both committed to stagnation, then so be it.
But if one person wants to grow, and the other does not, it’s a turn off.
Having a partner who is always looking at how to grow and optimize themselves and their lives, and in this case—their cocks—is extremely attractive, and yes, even arousing.
Most people don’t know what they don’t know about sex.
And that’s where I come in!
To tell you that multi-orgasmic, life-changing, ejaculate that hits the ceiling, three-hour sex dates are “normal.”
And can be “normal” for everyone.
If you put in some time and energy.
NUMBER 2: You can control your ejaculation.
This means that no matter how intensely she’s moaning and writhing— and she’s on all fours and that ass is up in the air and she’s so gorgeous and just pushing you to the edge—you can still hold off.
Women’s orgasmic potential is infinite.
It is so underrated and there is so much ignorance and misinformation surrounding it, like “Oh, women can only have clitoral orgasms” and the like.
Nope. Not true at all..
Because of this ignorance though, and the culturally reinforced myth that women don’t actually LIKE sex and need to be continually coerced into having it, there has been a myth built up that short sexual encounters are somehow okay for women.
What I think you’ll find if you are a perpetual five-minute fucker, indeed, if you can only ever last 15 minutes, that your woman has sex with you less and less often.
She’ll have laundry to do and root canals to have.
All because she’s tired of being a come receptacle you can PUMP DUMP and SCHUMP into, rather than a multi-orgasmic goddess.
For women to reach the deeper, life-changing orgasms, they have their own work to do to get there emotionally and energetically.
The work you have to do as men to HELP them get there is 1) To provide a space for them to open up and release into and HOLD them in that powerful space and 2) To have the stamina to take them there.
The Taoists have an expression: Sexually speaking, men are like fire. Quick to ignite and quick to extinguish.
Women are like water. They are slow to boil but keep on boiling.
The work for women is to cultivate an ongoing SIMMER so that they are more receptive sexually and exist even in a perpetual state of arousal.
And, the work for men is to have unflinching stamina. He can go the distance, no matter what wild state of abandon she’s in, and not pull the rug out from under her.
This is a space for women to truly open, abandon themselves and access their wildest selves.
If you want this, you have to be able to take it.
And having solid stamina is one of the main ways you do that.
If she grips your cock in just the right way, or she moans deeply, or the angle of her ass is just so delicious… you can still keep going and not bust a nut.
If you do, you’ll be reinforcing to her that as she gets to crucial places of surrender and orgasms, that you just can’t meet her there.
And she’ll start trusting you less and less, and withdraw from having sex with you more and more.
Stamina building is probably the number one sexual skill for men to have.
NUMBER 3: You feel energized after sex.
You don’t just pass out and fall asleep.
A sexual master knows how to cultivate his sexual energy.
After having sex, he can run a marathon, go to the gym and do some of his best creative work.
The opposite picture of what most of us see, which is a man passing out after he comes.
A true maestro has learned how to recirculate his sexual energy in his body, rather than just dumping it out at the point of orgasm.
This means that after ejaculation, that is, if he CHOOSES to ejaculate, that he feels revitalized instead of exhausted.
And yes, ejaculation is a choice: You can learn how to separate orgasm from ejaculation.
In this way, you retain your vital energy, and still have all the pleasure of an even more powerful and ecstatic orgasm.
I have an amazing podcast on this called “Orgasm without Ejaculation” that I recorded last year. And it features one or our Anami Well-F**ked All Stars, who talks about having mastered this skill.
The end result is that you have ultimate control, and you ultimate energy after sex.
NUMBER 4: You know the good stuff is in the vagina.
As a sexual master, you know that no matter how much your woman thinks she loves her clitoris, you are going to take her to the promised land of vaginal orgasms, where the well-fucked woman lives.
If a woman has only every had clitoral orgasms, she’s going to be underfucked, and may not even like sex very much.
She might be kinda “take it or leave it.”
If I had only ever had clitoral orgasms, there is no way I’d be doing what I do today.
It was because I discovered cervical orgasms early on in my sexual experiences, that really opened the door to me for what is possible in sex:
I.e. Seeing God, life-changing pleasure, ,transformation, alchemy and self-actualization.
All this and more, via the vagina.
The clitoris is fun as a warm up, an appetizer.
But all the good stuff is in the vagina.
A woman subsisting on diet of clitoral orgasms is accessing only 10% of her true sexual potential.
The clitoris is literally the tip of the iceberg.
As a man, your job is to you awaken and activate her vagina, so that she also wakes up to its true power.
And when she’s in her true sexual power, you are in yours.
You know the saying, “Behind every good man is a woman” ?
Well, actually, “Behind every good woman is a man, on his knees, ferociously thrusting and giving her everything he’s got.”
When your woman is well fucked, that energy lubricates and supports your life like a superpower you had no idea you could even have.
All sourced from her vagina.
Also remember the Anami Guarantee: All women can.
All women can have vaginal orgasms.
If some underfucked and sexually inexperienced so called sex expert, or OBGYN tries to tell you otherwise, politely suggest that they might consider becoming an expert in their own sexuality first, and then reporting back to you.
Underfucked people be dumb.
But you won’t be one of them! Because you’ll be transporting your woman to the holy land of the holy fuck, via her vagina.
NUMBER 5: Take a Tantric-style approach to foreplay.
Foreplay can go on and on and is in itself a destination.
As a sexual master, you know that the build up and exchange of sexual energy is the goal, not just busting a nut.
Rather than a race to the finish line, a Tantric approach means you expand everything.
Instead of just a cursory nipple tweak or a pit stop to try and make her pussy wet, and then jump into intercourse, you savour every experience and aim to make it orgasmic and life-changing on its own.
Meaning, you can spend 10 or 15 minutes just on her breasts, or half an hour in 69 or give her a long, luxurious yoni massage.
All of these sex acts that some people might see as brief foreplay, have the potential to open her profoundly and bring her to several orgasm before you even get to intercourse.
And that’s how it ought to be .
When I talk about 3-hour sex dates, this might initially seem daunting for people. But as you learn how to expand all parts of your sexual experience, you realize that this time goes by like nothing.
Three hours and go by in the blink of an eye.
And, this also helps your potentially “slow to boil, but keeps on boiling” woman to build her own stamina and get used to longer and deeper experiences.
NUMBER 6: Penetrate her outside of the bedroom.
Become savvy at the “sex between the sex”.
You can arouse her with the right comment, a squeeze of her ass, and nuzzle into her neck and keep her simmering.
Text her and let her know you are thinking of her during the day, when you are apart.
I once worked with a couple and it meant everything to her just to get a bit of communication from him during the day.
Even a few heart emojis would have done it.
He eventually came around.
These things all help with her coming.
NUMBER 7: She comes first.
Live by the code that she comes first. First and foremost.
For most men, as in 99.99% of them, once you’ve come, it’s game over.
Unless you‘ve been cultivating your Supercock, and you can orgasm without ejaculation, once you’ve achieved climax, it’s done.
Your erection drops and so does your interest. (Thanks prolactin!)
So while you master your stamina and orgasm without ejaculation game, ensure that she comes first.
Which brings us to point number 8:
NUMBER 8: She comes often. And many.
She comes in threes, is a good rule of thumb. Or cock.
Once is not enough. Especially if they are only having paltry clitoral orgasms, this won’t be enough to fill them up.
So give them a few.
Women are truly insatiable, inexhaustible creatures.
Once you open up their sexual potential, you better have built up your stamina, because they are going to:
EAT. YOU. ALIVE.
It’s ONLY cultural conditioning that suppresses the idea of female sexuality and tells us that women are less sexual than men.
Or that they suffer though “duty sex” to please their partners.
Such a crock of shit.
I mean, a lot of women HAVE absorbed this conditioning.
But it isn’t their true nature.
And if you walk away from a sexual encounter with a woman and you come too fast, or you only give her a clitoral orgasm and pat yourself on the back, she’s going to resent you.
She may not understand why or how and neither will you.
But her vagina will remember!
Her Pandora’s Box needs a thorough workout, on the regular.
Sure, you can give her a clitoral orgasm to warm her—and you—up.
But then you put your big boy cock on and head into her vagina.
Give her a G-Spot orgasm or three, and ideally a cervical orgasm.
This is what creates a well-fucked woman and a happy vagina.
That whiny, naggy woman you once knew?
I guarantee that there is a correlation between how well she’s being fucked, and the amount of nagging you get in your relationship and around your house.
Try it and see.
NUMBER 9: Emotionally penetrate her.
Not just physically penetrate her, but emotionally too. This means not letting her hide, stalking the demons in your relationship and facing them.
When you know there is an important conversation to be had, initiate it.
Don’t just rely on her or let the “emotional labor” of the relationship fall onto the woman.
Do your part and meet her there.
She’ll massively appreciate it.
And she’ll feel seen. And acknowledged.
And like you know her heart as well as you know her vagina.
Which ought to be exceptionally well.
Like the back of your hand.
Or the head of your cock.
One of the most potent turn-ons is feeling like your lover sees into the depths of you, and knows who you really are.
Show her you know.
NUMBER 10: Dominate her.
Don’t be afraid to to flex a little muscle.
To show you her your masculine strength, confidence, and your wildness.
She needs all of this—and all of you—inside of her.
What gets women most excited and aroused is a man who knows where he’s going. He takes charge of a situation, and her vagina, and with the strong hand of confidence, leads.
This is the essence of masculine energy.
And we love to see, feel and be penetrated by it.
Most women, in a consensual setting and relationship, LOVE being manhandled.
A woman LOVES to feel the strength in her man as he lovingly throws her around, pins her up against the wall, and picks her up and carries her over his shoulder, and into the bedroom.
It’s the yang to our yin, and it gets us wet.
I know that in these troubled times, masculine power has gotten a bad rap.
But now, more than ever, we need you guys.
We need you to show up in your power, and as the protectors of our realm.
In a time when people’s rights and freedoms are being ever trampled upon, under the guise of a manufactured crisis, we need you.
WE need your voices, your strength and your ability to stand your ground.
I’ll be doing more episodes in the coming weeks on what this looks like for men, to inhabit your masculine power when in this day and age, there are so many messages not to.
So, men, practice these 10 steps, and voila!
You are on your way to having a well-f**ked woman.